This was written for sort_of_lovely on the Fanfic Wish Meme on LiveJournal. You should go check it out. Great stuff.

"This movie is so idiotic." Elena half jumped out of her skin when she heard Damon's voice. She pressed pause on the DVD player remote before turning back to Damon.

"What are you doing here? Couldn't find some blonde bimbo to bang?" she asked, her tone biting. Damon smirked, covering up the fleeting look of surprise on his face.

"Wow. Kitty's got claws." He said, whistling. "That was subtle." Elena rolled her eyes.

"You're one to talk."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Damon asked, all mock hurt and feigned defensiveness.

"What it means, is that you're about as subtle as a shotgun. Or a crowbar. Anyway-"

"I'll have you know that I'm a master of subtlety. Even more so than my sweet and sensitive brother." Damon cut in. Elena ignored him.

"Anyway, I'm trying to watch a movie, so if you could just tell me what you want and be on your way, I would appreciate it."

"Someone's in a bad mood." Damon ducked the pillow that came flying his way, smirking at a glaring Elena. "I just want to watch the movie."

"Come on, Damon. You can do better than that. I thought you thought this movie was idiotic." She said, rolling her eyes. Damon smiled, sitting down on the couch next to her.

"I still do. I'm just so bored that I'm willing to watch it." He smirked. "And besides, idiocracy keeps the mind alive."

"Idiocracy?" Elena asked, raising an eyebrow. "Is that even a word?"

"Who cares?" Damon said, grinning. Elena rolled her eyes, ignoring the way her heart fluttered at the sight. She started movie again, making the point of ignoring Damon's presence. She slowly felt herself unwind as the movie played out on the screen, a magnificent boat sailing across a clear, blue sea. She had even been able to push Damon to the back of her mind until she heard a barely audible tapping noise coming from his direction. She resisted the urge to look back, already all too aware of the way his arm barely brushed against hers. She tried to focus on the movie instead.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, CRUNCH.

Elena swirled around, staring at the tiny hole in her living room wall. Damon grinned apologetically.

"Did you just punch a hole in my wall?" she asked, shaking her head. "Whatever. Don't tell me." She quickly said when he opened his mouth. "Just cut it out, will you?" Damon nodded, smirking under a glare that would make a lesser man quail.

"Whatever you say, Elena." He said, looking immensely pleased with himself. Elena sat back, trying to watch the movie when Damon started talking.

"Don't you have any popcorn?" he whined, staring at her beseechingly. "I'm hungry." Elena groaned, pausing the movie again.

"God, this is like the 'Give A Mouse A Cookie' books." She said, glaring at Damon.

"I never said anything about cookies. I prefer salty treats with my cheesy movies."

"We don't have popcorn, Damon." She pressed play again.

Exactly six minutes and 36 seconds later (and no, she wasn't counting,)a dull thudding noise started to come from Damon's direction. She was able to hold out for three minutes and fifty seven seconds (still not counting) before pausing the movie and turning around.

Damon was throwing the largest bouncy ball she had ever seen in her life up and down, watching with a great interest as plaster rained down and cracks emerged in the ceiling.

"Where the hell did you find that?"

Damon looked up, seemingly surprised, even though Elena was pretty sure he had been watching her every movement out of the corner of his eye.

"It's a bouncy ball, Elena. Not the holy grail."

"I know that, Damon." She said, frustrated. "But I've never seen a bouncy ball like that in my life. It's huge." Damon examined the ball thoroughly, and the unreality of the situation hit Elena. She was discussing bouncy balls with her boyfriend's brother at eleven p.m.

What the hell had happened to her life?

"It's a super bounce." Damon finally announced. "They stopped production like twenty years ago."

"Whatever. Just put it away." Damon shook his head sorrowfully.

"Elena, show the ball some respect. It's older than you are." Elena groaned and pressed play. A few moments later, Damon started whistling. When this failed to gain a response, he upgraded to chant.

"The bouncy ball goes up and down, up and down, up and down. The bouncy-"

"Shut. Up!" Elena snapped, feeling the last of her patience ebb away. Damon rolled his eyes and leaned forward, delicately sniffing the air around her.

"Is your time of month coming up? Because you sure don't smell like you have your period."

"Damon!"

"What? It's a natural, bodily function, just like burping. Or farting, which, by the way, you can totally do. This is a judgment free zone."

"Damon?"

"Yes, Elena?"

"Shut up." Damon stared at the screen for a few minutes before grimacing.

"Seriously? This scene is just crap. What are they trying to do, get an STD? And besides, a dusty old car on a sinking ship is not th-"

This time, Damon didn't see the pillow coming before it hit him in the face. He smirked, fluffed the pillow and put it behind his back.

"Thanks, Elena. As I was saying"-a groan from Elena- "Leonardo DiCaprio is not a pretty face to look at. I was going to audition for this movie, you know." Elena groaned again, dropping her head into her hands. "But Stefan figured it would draw too much attention. He always was a kill joy. I would have snagged the part too, you know. I'm way hotter than Leo." Elena snorted.

"Oh please."

"What? You're saying blondie there is hotter than I am? Elena, you wound me." He put a hand over his heart, pouting. "Being hot is what I do. They even have it carved in stone somewhere. Damon: Looking hot and better in black than the widows of his enemies since the day he was born."

"Of course he is. You're evil. You kill things." She joked. Her tone was light, but the look he gave her made a shiver run down her spine.

"I used to kill things. Now, I only kill bad things." He smirked. "And, Elena, I heard that gentlemen preferred blondes, but you're hardly a gentleman, now, are you?"

"Damon, shut up."

"You don't want me to shut up, do you?" Suddenly, he was right behind her, so close that she could feel his cold breath on her skin, driving a shiver down her spine.

"Yes, I do." She said, thanking God that her voice didn't break.

"If that's what you want, I can come up with much more entertaining things to do than talking." He brushed his lips against the back of her neck, lightly sucking on her skin. Elena, fighting against both her instincts and her desires, jumped up, nearly tripping over her own feet, and turned to face him.

"What are you doing, Damon?" she asked, breathing heavy. Damon smirked, and suddenly he was right in front f her.

"I" he said, staring into her eyes, all burning intensity. "am doing nothing that you don't want me to. And don't even try to deny it. I can hear the way your heart's beating." He laid his lips against the pulse point on her neck, licking her skin before kissing her again.

This time, Elena couldn't –didn't – pull away, instead choosing to know her fingers in his dark hair. Damon kissed her even harder, pulling her as close to him as he could, as if he was trying to pull her into him. Elena pulled away to catch her breath, feeling the blood rush to her face and the adrenaline run through her veins. Damon pulled her back to him, giving her hungry, bruising kisses. He pushed her onto the couch as she slid her hands under his black shirt, feeling his hard muscles shudder under her touch. Damon lowered himself over her, and she felt liquid heat run through her body.

"Damon, we can't do this." She said as she gently pushed him off her. He looked at her for a moment, desire clouding his eyes.

"Sure we can. Heck, we are doing this." He leaned in again, kissing her first on the lips then on the side of her neck. "Tell me you don't want this." He whispered, his voice rugged. "Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want this, and I'll go."

Elena realized that in that moment, she could break him. Even if he didn't admit it, he was putting his heart , his fragile, clumsily-glued-back-together heart in her hands. And even though there was a small voice in the back of her head, telling her that breaking him would be the right thing to do, she couldn't bring herself to say the words that would shatter him all over again.

So she kissed him instead.

After that, all she could remember was kisses and touches and heat and skin, much more emotion, much more feeling, much more passion than ever.

The next morning she woke up in her bed, feeling confused. She was wearing her pajamas and there was the Titanic DVD case on her bedside table and the shredded fragments of her shirt in her trashcan. She slowly stood up, a smile spreading across her face as she remembered last night. A small piece of paper on the DVD case caught her eye.

'Guess it's not such a bad movie.' It said in Damon's handwriting. Elena groaned, burying her head in her hands.

She really had to have a talk with Stefan.

And then, maybe she could give Damon a visit.

Come on. Press the little talk bublt thingy(wtf? I need sleep). You know you wanna.