Chapter One

Johnny's POV

I limped my way through the rain to the Curtis home for refuge on Monday November 5, 1954. I just got beat by my father and this one had been especially brutal. He hadn't beaten me so badly in weeks. As I made my way to the Curtis house I could feel my blood oozing down legs, chin and bare back. My sides hurt and I could feel my left eye and lips swelling. I was pretty dizzy too; I couldn't seem to walk in a straight line.

The rain pelted me and I started to shiver violently. It was deep into fall and pouring, which made it worse. I usually would have a t-shirt and my jeans jacket but my father had ripped them off in the heat of beating me.

I was really getting tired of my parents and thought about running away but I didn't dwell on it because I finally arrived at the Curtis home.

I stepped onto the porch and took a deep breath which had pain shooting through my ribs. I winced and wanted to just go and lay down on the couch but out of courtesy I peeked through the window to make sure a light was still on first. Darry always told me I didn't have to do this but I did anyway, it just felt like the necessary thing to do.

The living room light was still on so I knew it was alright to go in. I went to the door and took in a shuddering breath. My ribs popped and rattled and had another sharp pain stabbing me in the side. I quietly pushed the door open and my breath caught painfully in my throat when I saw who was sitting on the couch. It was Ponyboy.

I had been avoiding Ponyboy lately because back in Windrixville I started to feel weird when I was around him. I started to have dreams and started to look at him differently as I spent more and more time with him. It was when I was in the hospital with a burnt back I had realized I was in love with him. He had come to the hospital everyday to visit me and stayed for hours to keep me company. It meant a lot to me that he did that and I appreciated it, but it didn't help the feelings at all. It made them worse.

When I got out of the hospital I started to avoid him. I knew it hurt his feelings but it was for his own good. If he knew that I had these unnatural feelings for him he would hate me. I couldn't bear for him to hate me so I avoided eye contact and conversation with him. This was the first time in a while I was in the same room as him.

Ponyboy was sitting on the couch reading a book silently under the lamp light when I came in. He didn't notice me but that was just like Pony to get caught up in a book and not notice what's happening around him. I wanted to get out when my heart started to speed up like it always did when I was around him. I almost made it out the door when my ribs popped again and my breath turned into a painful wheeze.

Pony's head snapped up and he closed his book. He got off the couch and hurried toward me. He looked me up and down taking in my blood soaked jeans and naked torso.

"Oh Johnny…" Ponyboy said as he stepped closer to me and scooped me up into his arms. Ever since we got back from Windrixville Pony has been working out with the passion Darry used to have. He went from slightly bigger than me to being noticeably bigger than me. He changed so much.

"What happened to you Johnnycake?" He asked as he carried me to the couch then gently laid me down.

I winced when my back hit the cushion and I could tell by the way his brow furrowed he noticed.

"My dad got me." I whispered as my face heated up from all the attention.

Pony's face got red with anger; he always got mad when he heard my father was beating me.

"I'm gonna go get Darry." He growled then got up and walked down the hall.

I layed there alone for a while. Bruises started to form on my chest and stomach and I started to shiver. I wanted to just curl up and go to sleep and I was about to doze off when Darry and Pony walked into the room.

Darry walked in with his first-aid kit and a sympathetic smile. Behind him came Ponyboy stalking into the room with a dark aura about him. I could tell he was fuming by the way his forehead wrinkled and the way his brow was set. His face was slightly flushed too.

"Okay Johnny. What happened?" Darry asked. He came forward and knelt down in front of the couch next to me.

"My dad got a' hold of me and kicked me around a bit – ah!" I let out a slight cry when a whole new pain ran through my mid-section.

Ponyboy came from behind Darry and lifted me slightly; I didn't know what he was doing until I saw he was holding his pillow in his other hand. He tucked the pillow under my head then gently laid me back down. I tried to smile up at him but it just came across as a grimace.

"A bit, huh?" Darry chuckled bitterly. "It looks like he kicked you around half to death… Alright Johnnycake I'm gonna press on places around your chest. Tell me where it hurts."

Darry started to press two fingers to various areas on my torso. He started with my collarbone, pressing across each clavicle three times each. Then he went down to my sternum in the middle of my chest and besides a couple of bruise here and there it was all good. It was when he got to my ribs it was bad.

He started at the top two ribs on each side; those were pretty sore but nothing unbearable. The third ribs down were a different story.

He pressed down on them and the bones popped and grinded together. I cried out in pain and feel the sting of tears in my eyes. Darry pressed down a second time and I couldn't help the whimper that escaped my throat, the tears spilt over.

Pony stepped closer and stroked my hair like he always used to do but this time it had me turning scarlet

Darry sighed making me snap my eyes away from Ponyboy's face.

"I think he broke them," Darry in a slightly exasperated, anger filled tone, "and those cuts on your back and legs and that one on your lip looks pretty bad…"

I shot up so fast it had painful black blotches dancing across my vision. Ponyboy gently guided me back down.

It took me a second to catch my breath. "I can't go to the hospital!" I rasped out desperately, staring up at them.

"But Johnny," Ponyboy said, worry laced into his tone, "this looks pretty bad."

I couldn't seem to talk above a hoarse whisper. "If I go to the hospital my dad will surely find out and he will beat me worse than before."

Darry sighed again in defeat. "Alright then Johnny. I can rap you up and clean your cuts and that's the best I can do. Sit up."

Ponyboy sat down on the couch and slid one arm around my shoulder, helping me sit up straight. Right then I was thankful for my dark skin because my cheeks felt like they were on fire. Darry rapped a bandage around me then had me lay on my stomach.

When I settled down onto my stomach I heard both of them hiss and Pony growl, "He would go for the burns."

"I'm gonna rub disinfectant on them." Darry warned before I heard the slosh of the medicine bottle and he put the alcohol covered cloth on my torn up back.

I hissed in pain from the sting because gosh that hurt! It hurt worse than the actual cuts themselves. After a couple of minutes I was covered in bandages I had five on my leg, six on my back, gauze wrapped around my middle, a bandage on my lip and a bandage covering my eye. I had fallen into this half conscious state when he had patched me up because the next thing I knew someone was shaking me awake.

"Okay Johnny, I don't want you sleeping on this couch in this kinda condition. I'll sleep on it and you can sleep in my bed." It was Darry.

I felt two arms slide under me then lift me up. From the way the arms were some muscular and the way they held me so securely I expected them to be Darry's but when I opened my eyes it was Pony who was carrying me to bed. Again my cheeks temperature went up a few degrees.

Soon Pony layed me on Darry's bed and walked out. Just like that he walked out. He didn't stay for a while and talk like I expected him to and for a second I thought he had seen it. I thought he saw how I had blushed and sputtered when he touched or looked at me or talked to me. So I laid there for maybe an hour or two, wide awake, afraid I had completely alienated my best friend.

At about midnight I was shaken awake by two milky white hands.

"Johnny!" Was the whisper that was hissed in my ear. "Johnny wake up! I gotta talk to you."

It took me a second to realize it was Ponyboy and when I did I was confused. Pony usually slept like a log, if he needed to talk it at this time of night there was something big on his mind. I rubbed my eyes and sat up to make room for him to sit next to me. He took the invitation and slid under the covers with me.

"What's going on Pony?" I asked genuinely concerned about him. He furrowed his brow at the question as if I was supposed to know and there was a nagging feeling in my gut that I did.

He didn't beat around the bush when answered. "Why have you been avoiding me?"

That was it. That was the one question I could not answer. Just the thought had the hairs on the back of my neck standing up and goose bumps forming on my forearms. I looked at him and gulped. How was I supposed to answer that? Sure I wanted to tell him but what would happen if I did? Would he feel the same way or would he hate me? This question had been plaguing me for months and the thought of having it answered was undoubtedly alluring.

I continued to stare at him with wide eyes and he stared back with narrowed ones. I clamped my hands together trying to control the adrenaline pumping through my veins because I knew what I had to do. I had known a long time and didn't even try to act on it. I was afraid. I was afraid of all the possibilities and outcomes that could happen from this whole situation.

I continued to contemplate for a moment and for a couple of seconds I forgot all about Pony. I refocused on him to see that his forehead was wrinkled, just like earlier, and I knew he was irritated and getting impatient.

I took a deep breath and summoned all the courage I had and spoke. "Um Ponyboy… If I tell you something… do you promise not to get mad?" He looked confused now but nodded assurance.

"Okay… well…" I took a long blinking moment, you could almost hear the crickets in the background. "The reason I have been avoiding ya is… well… it's because I love you Pony."

The wrinkle on his forehead deepened and I thought: How could he be confused?

"Well, I love you too Johnny. You're like my third brother." His smile was lopsided and slightly unsure.

I sighed, slightly dejected. "No that's not what I meant." I looked down at my lap. "I love you more than a buddy or a brother should… I-I'm in love with you Pone." I sucked in a shuddered breath and looked up.

His face was slack and his eyes were wide. His skin had taken a reddish hue and he didn't move, he sat stick still. I started to shake and my abdomen turned into ice because I knew this was one of those negative responses and it would lead to a negative outcome. I had lost him as soon as I said 'love'.

My eyes started to sting and I just couldn't sit in that room anymore so I got up and ran. Well it wasn't exactly running considering I was smarting all over but it was the fastest way I could travel, an unsteady jog.

I didn't look back as I ran, I just ran to the only other place I could go. I didn't care that it was still raining and I didn't care that I didn't have a jacket; I just had to get away. I made it to the lot in about fifteen minutes.

I trudge through the soaked grass to the only tree in the vacant piece of land and sat under it. The leaves clattered noisily and the water off the ground seeped through my jeans but I didn't care, I just had myself a good long cry.

My tears came out hot and silently, I didn't bawl because I hurt too much, this was a different kind of pain. I cried so much I made myself tired and soon I got drowsy and leaned against the tree trunk.

It was almost dawn and I was about to doze off when to strong hands grabbed me and yanked me to my feet, I yelped in surprise. I didn't know who it was because they had a mask on. I learned there was two of them when one held my arms behind my back and the other one took to kicking me in my already sore ribs.

I cried in pain when I felt a sickening crack under the guys' foot and I tried to yank myself away from my captor but their grip was like iron. I struggled and flailed and bucked but they wouldn't budge. They beat me harder than my father, each taking turns getting a crack at me and after a while they didn't need to hold me back because I was reduced to a sobbing heap on the ground.

I was in pain and I was tired. I wanted to go back to the Curtis home and just crawl under the covers with Pony and just act like nothing happened, but I knew I was in too deep.

The beating went on for minutes that seemed like hours. Long torturous, grueling hours. Finally one of them picked up a piece of pipe and knocked me over the head putting me out of my misery. I lost consciousness.

I faintly remembered being dragged across the grass and gravel before I was thrown into what seemed like the trunk of a car and feeling the motor start.

Ponyboy's POV

I'm so stupid! How could I be so damn stupid! Johnny told me he loved me and I had to be so slow and not react. He took it the wrong way and ran right out of the house. I was starting to think everyone was right. I really didn't use my head.

I had been so shocked. I didn't think Johnny swung that way and it surprised me that he had just came out and said it. I love him back of course. I thought it was pretty obvious but no one seemed to notice.

I knew he couldn't run far but I was really starting to worry. After he had ran and I came back to earth I ran to wake up Darry and Soda. They called up Dally, Steve and Two-bit and we started a search party. After an hour of searching we even called up Tim Shepherd and he gruffly answered 'he hadn't seen the kid anywhere he might see'.

I went to his house, to the park, and now I was at the lot. He was nowhere to be found. Sodapop assured me we would find him soon but I just couldn't stop shaking and I felt as if I might bawl. We were all searching the lot trying to find any sign of Johnny. We all came up empty until Dally found the skid marks of tires on the neighboring rode.

"It was an expensive car," Steve said kneeling down next to Soda trying to identify the type of car, "only the big wigs with big money show up at the DX with this kinda wall."

As soon as he said it dread pooled at the bottom of my stomach and the answer seemed to hang in the air around everyone's head. We all knew what might have happened to Johnny. It was just one word. Soc.