STARTING SONG: I'm not listening to music right now.
This is based on the short "In Love With Your Eyes" by Rin Kouzuki from Code Geass: Knight volume one (in fact, a characters dialogue at one point is taken verbatim from it).
PRINCESS FOR A DAY
"Why?"
"Because Earl Asplund invited all of us, and that includes you!"
"I seriously doubt he'll care if I'm there or not."
"Shut up you're going!"
"Whatever, that's not what I was asking about, anyway."
"Oh, then what?"
I eye apprehensively the clothes she wants me to wear tonight. After a moment I ask: "Can't I just wear a pair of glasses and change my hairstyle or something?"
"Glasses can be arranged. Now take it."
Okay, time for Plan B. "Don't you think the others will find it a little suspicious that I'm the only one cross-dressing?"
"I'll tell them we ran out of men's suits. Just put it on."
All right, time of a Desperation Maneuver. "Madam President, please," I beg, grabbing her sleeve. "I'll do whatever you want, just please don't make me wear that!"
"I am deaf to your pleas," Milly says. "Now go get dressed."
I sniff and wipe my eyes. "I thought we were friends."
"We are friends," Milly says. "That's why I can't spoil you."
"I hate you!"
"Noted. Go."
C.C. is lying on my bed, laughing uproariously.
"It's not funny!" I snap.
"Really?" she asks. "It seems funny to me!"
"You're a bitch," I point out. "And I'm canceling my credit card."
C.C. stops laughing and sits up. "You wouldn't!"
"I would."
C.C. glares at me for a moment, then smirks. "If you have such a problem dressing in women's clothing, perhaps I could help."
"No way. Your 'help' causes more problems than it solves."
"Whatever. Just get out of the way," she says, hopping to the floor and pushing me towards the couch.
I take a seat and watch while she draws a circle on the floor. "Hey, C.C.? What are you doing?"
"Drawing a circle on the floor."
See?
"You know Sayoko will get pissed if you don't clean that up, right?"
"I know."
"Good."
C.C. finishes her circle and uses a knife to slice off the tip of her finger.
"Whoa, C.C.! What the hell?"
"This summon requires blood from the spellcaster," she answers tonelessly. "Don't worry. It'll grow back."
"That's not the point! Don't drip blood on my carpet!"
"Shut up. I need to concentrate." C.C. closes her eyes and folds her hands. "On ma ni hatsu mei un..." she chants.
Isn't that the chant Sanzo does before a Makai Tenjo?
"Klaatu verata nicto..."
Aha... What?
"1-2-3-4, come on cowboys, let's score..."
Is she messing with me?
"Mele Kalikimaka..."
"Oh, come on! That's not even a chant!"
"Okay, that one was a little excessive," C.C. admits, then claps her hands together. "Get your ass out here, Gary!" she says. "I don't have all day!"
"I'm comin', I'm comin'," a deep, gravely voice says from beneath my floorboards.
Oh, this does not bode well.
The circle on the floor begins to shine, and C.C. takes a few steps back. The distinct stench of sulfur begins to fill the room, and something black begins to rise from the center of the circle. I quickly pick my feet up off the floor.
Suddenly, the black shape shoots out of the floor, spins around the edges of the circle a few times, then explodes on the ground. Before I can inform C.C. of what I'll do to her if she kills my room, the black things assembles itself into a middle-aged, balding, fat man. "All right, whaddaya want?" he asks, scratching his bottom.
"Oh, Go-"
I'm cut off by the fat man's icy stare. "Do not say that name in my presence!" he snaps. "I may look like this, but I'm still a demon."
"Yes, sir! Sorry, sir!" I say, terrified. "It won't happen again, sir! Please don't eat me, sir!"
"That's more like it," the demon says, then turns to C.C. "Whaddaya want?" he asks again.
"I need to order a Princess-For-A-Day Spell."
"You wanna be a princess."
"No. I want to turn him into a princess."
While this exchange has been going on, I've been using a Sharpie to carefully write out my Last Will and Testament on the back of my couch. However, this last bit catches my attention. "Aha... What?"
"It's a spell that will turn you into a princess until midnight," the demon says, cracking his knuckles. He then looms ominously over me. "But be warned," he says, his tone turning ghostly, "if you are kissed by a prince before then, you will remain a princess forever."
I cringe against the back of the couch and stare at him, horrified. "I'm sorry, what?" I ask after a moment. "I couldn't hear you over the sound of me shitting myself."
"Hey, that is not the dress I gave you!" Milly snaps as I entered the council room.
"What do you want me to do about it? This is the one that came with the spe- Uhh... This one is easier to move in."
Milly's eyes narrow suspiciously. "What happened to your voice?" she asks. "You sound like Princess Euphemia would if she wasn't addicted to helium."
"Um... Coffee."
"What?"
"Yeah, coffee, um... Makes me sound like this. Because, um... I'm allergic. Or something."
"I call bullshit."
"Damn. Can't get anything past you."
"Can the sarcasm, Tranny. Let's go."
"Bitch."
"What?"
"I didn't say anything."
"Geez..." I mutter, irritated.
"You bored, too?" Kallen asks.
"I hate these sorts of things."
"Hmmm..." Kallen says, studying me. "I think they'll get mad if you eat all of the olives."
"They have more."
"It's a wasted effort, Kallen," Milly- who is already drunk- says, wrapping her arm around Kallen's shoulders. "Trying to keep Lelouch away from the olives is like trying to keep... Um..." Milly thinks for a while. "Dammit, Lelouch, give me a simile."
"'Trying to keep Lelouch away from the olives is like trying to keep Arthur away from Suzaku's fingers.'"
"Thank you, Lelouch. I knew there was a reason I kept you around."
"Go be drunk somewhere else."
"Ah, come on, Lulu!" Milly says, switching from Kallen to me. "Lighten up; it's a party!"
"One I'm attending against my will."
"Ch. You're no fun," Milly says, grabbing Kallen's arm and dragging her away. "Come on, Kallen. Let's leave him by hisself."
"Wait, no!" I cry, trying to snatch Kallen back. She was keeping the guys away!
"Sucks to be you, Lulu!" Milly sings.
God, I hate her sometimes. I sulk and turn back to my olives. Oh well. So long as I ignore them, the men in the room should ignore me, right? I mean, that's how it works, isn't it? I know I don't bother trying to hit on a girl who is clearly not interested (then again, I don't pay much attention to the girls who are interested, either. I have more important things to worry about than dating).
"Good evening."
Dammit, I should have known. "Good evening," I say forcing a smile and turning to the speaker. I then quickly turn away, praying he didn't recognize me. What's Schneizel doing here?
"I noticed your friends left you on your own," Schneizel says conversationally while I fumble for a fan. "Perhaps you'd like some company?" He takes my hand and raises it to his lips, but I pull away at the last second.
"No, no, that's quite all right," I say, smiling nervously behind my fan. "I don't mind being by myself at all."
"Oh, but I insist," he says, grabbing my hand again. "A little walk outside couldn't hurt, could it?"
Yes, yes it could. "Um, I'd really rather stay here..." I say, but to no avail, since he drags me outside, anyway. Oh, well. This could be my chance to get some answers about my mother. "Prince Schneizel..." I begin, but he cuts me off.
"You are so beautiful," he says.
"Um, I'm sorry?"
"Your dark, flowing hair. Your cool eyes," he says, running his fingers through my hair, and getting much to close for comfort.
"Huh?" I ask, beginning to panic, and trying to back away.
"Truly a beauty..." he continues, then kisses me.
"I'll kill him. I'll kill him!"
"Wow, you mean you were actually kissed?" C.C. asks, grinning. "Sucks to be you, I guess."
"Change me back!" I snap, pointing at her.
"Sorry, but the spell-"
"If there's a 'princess for a day', then there must be a 'prince for a day', right? Do that!"
"You just want an excuse to mack with Nunnally."
"Don't be vulgar! She's my daughter! I mean, my sister!"
C.C. sighs. "Very well. Personally, I like you better this way, but if you insist, I'll call Gary again."
"Hurry up!"
"If you're gonna rush me, I'm just gonna go slower," C.C. says, dragging herself off the bed. "Out of the way."
Gary casts the spell (not without grumbling more than a little) and I hurry into the other room to see Nunnally.
"Good morning, brother!" she says cheerfully. "Someone sent you a gift."
"A gift?" I ask, a moment before a puppy jumps on me. I pick it up. There's a ribbon around it's neck, with a tag reading "For my raven-haired beauty. Love, Prince Schneizel." I stare at it for a moment, then hand the dog to Sayoko. "Take this down to the Chinese restaurant, would you?"
"Lelouch!"
"What? The Chinese love dog. I mean dogs."
Nunnally sighs.
"How did that pervert find out where I live, anyway?" I ask aloud after Sayoko leaves, the puppy in her arms. "And stop looking at me like that. You know we can't keep pets."
"Still..."
I kneel down in front of her and give her a quick peck, hoping that'll be enough to qualify as a "kiss from a princess". "I'm sorry," I say. "I'll go take it down to the animal shelter myself."
"Thank you."
I'm sitting on the floor, staring intently at the second hand on my clock. In less then a minute, it'll be midnight, and I can see if it worked.
"Hey, if it didn't work, what'll you do?" C.C. asks.
"Probably kill myself."
"Ah."
Five... Four... Three... Two...
Everyone who reads this far receives the Necronomicon.
ENDING SONG: "Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa" by Vampire Weekend