Title: Questions
Author: agentb81
Fandom: The Good Wife
Pairing: Alicia/Kalinda
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: The Good Wife is copyrighted and belongs to Robert and Michelle King and CBS. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use.
Summary: A regular after work drink turns to serious conversation.
Spoilers: Slight spoilers for 1.15 Bang
A/N: This is my first fic for The Good Wife, so, I hope it's ok!
"How's Peter settling in?" Kalinda asked into her glass before taking a sip of the dark liquid.
"Ok, I think." Alicia replied wistfully.
"You think?" the investigator snorted.
"I haven't really talked to him, the kids are always around, you know?"
"The kids."
Alicia frowned at the tone in her colleagues voice, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing."
"Kalinda." Alicia warned with her motherly tone.
"It's just- ok, if you wanted to talk, you would have talked." She dared a glance at the older woman before taking another steadying sip of her drink. Alicia pondered the comment, thoughts swimming around her mind, Kalinda was right, she had a succinct knack of reading her and it usually meant she was looking out for her friend. In her unique way, Kalinda cared for Alicia, however blunt she may be.
"You're right, I can't argue with that." Alicia conceded, "I don't want to talk to my own husband."
"It's understandable." Kalinda acknowledged.
"It makes me a terrible wife." The brunette hung her head in shame, staring to the bottom of her glass. Kalinda placed a hand over the lawyer's, causing Alicia to look up into the investigator's kind eyes, a small smile gracing her lips. If it was possible, Alicia's heart melted a little at what she saw.
"No." Was all she said, the tone loaded with sentiment and gentility.
"You're bias." Alicia smiled before picking up her drink.
"No arguments here." Kalinda replied coyly.
They had a relationship that pushed beyond the boundaries of colleagues, yet were not quite at the point of swapping gossip and dancing around handbags. Theirs was one of mutual respect, quirky comments and above all, they had one another's back. They would not pry into the other's personal lives; they revealed when they felt like sharing or needed to offload. Kalinda was not known for her patience or decorum but when it came to Alicia, she learnt things about herself she never knew existed. The older woman had taught her a lot and was the main reason she had earlier that evening declined a perfectly decent career opportunity.
"I was offered a job today." She said, her eyes now downcast. Alicia's initial reaction was to withdraw her hand.
"You were? That's, um, that's great." She stuttered. The investigator immediately looked up and frowned at her friend's unusual stutter.
"I turned it down." She reassured.
"You did, why?"
"I'm happy where I am."
"You are?"
"You're asking an awful lot of questions."
"I'm a lawyer, it's my job."
Kalinda rolled her eyes, "Yes, I'm happy where I am."
"Wait a minute, you had a meeting with the FBI woman today."
"Lana Delaney, yeah."
"The FBI? Why wouldn't you want to work for the FBI?"
"I told you, I'm happy."
"Yeah but Kalinda, this is the FBI, think of the career opportunity, the benefits!"
"Alicia, I said no. Besides, a job wasn't all she was offering."
"What do you mean?" Alicia asked through suspicious squinted eyes.
"I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me. She said she wanted me to work under her." Kalinda sighed, emphasising the word 'under'.
"She, what? Wow, she hit on you? That's . . ."
The younger woman smiled at the lawyer's reaction. "You sound surprised." She teased.
"What? No, who wouldn't want to hit on you? I mean you're beautiful and smart and stubborn as hell, but you know . . ." Alicia trailed off with a blush.
Kalinda smirked, she had Alicia right where she wanted her. They had skirted around one another and flirted occasionally for as long as Alicia had been with the law firm.
"You said 'hell'."
"Yes." Alicia rolled her eyes, "I'm not has pure as everyone thinks I am." The loaded comment hung heavily in the air. The two women locked eyes momentarily before Kalinda continued.
"You think I'm beautiful?"
"Yes." Alicia sighed, "And you're damn good at your job and you always have my back and while it's selfish of me, I would miss you if you left. I'm pleased you said no to the job." A sudden thought hit the brunette like a freight train, Kalinda watched the horror cross her features and jumped in before Alicia could speak.
"I didn't say no so I could date her." The lawyer's mouth hung open, bewildered once again by Kalinda's ability to read her mind. "I said no because I would miss working with you. I would miss this." She said waving her around the bar.
"Are you turning soft?" Alicia smiled.
"What? No." Kalinda huffed. "Anyway, don't turn this round on me, what was that look for?"
"What look?" Alicia eyed suspiciously, wondering where her friend was going with this line of questioning.
"The one that looked like you had been slapped in the face, the one before I told you I was not going to be dating Lana . . ."
"Oh that look." Alicia interrupted.
"Explain yourself." Kalinda ordered with a smug smirk.
"I don't think I have to."
"I think you do."
Alicia sighed again, she steadied herself before downing the rest of the drink in her glass, she momentarily closed her eyes at the bitter taste and shook her head to rid the burning sensation in her throat. Without putting down her glass, she signalled to the barman for the same again. He refilled the glass without question.
"I can't explain it." Alicia offered, sheepishly finding her friend's eyes.
"You can't? Or won't?"
"Honestly? I don't know."
Kalinda snorted before she too finished her drink prematurely, the barman was over in an instant, pouring the brunette another drink.
"Don't be like that Kalinda, I don't know what this thing between us is."
"This thing?"
"Yes, I know you know what I'm talking about. Somewhere along the way, these after work drinks have turned into something more, more, sociable." Alicia picked her words carefully.
"Sociable?"
"Now who's asking an awful lot of questions? Questions that are basically repetition of what I have said."
Kalinda rolled her eyes, "You are such a lawyer."
Alicia smiled. She found this flippant side of the investigator so endearing.
"Ok, I was jealous that she was hitting on you, and why? I don't know and it scares me Kalinda, it scares the hell out of me."
"Hey," Kalinda said, scooping up the other woman's hand, "it's ok, we'll work it out. We make a great team remember?"
It was true. Alicia thought. They made a formidable team, they worked in sync with each other and often amazed the colleagues around them. Being the firm's investigator, Kalinda was obliged to work with all of her lawyer colleagues, ranging from Cary, her least favourite, which she made clear in no uncertain terms, to Alicia, her obvious favourite.
"Cary likes you, you know." Alicia said out of the blue.
Kalinda scrunched her nose in disgust, "I am aware of that."
"You could do a lot a worse."
"I could do a lot better. Besides, I have my eyes on someone else." She said uncharacteristically shy, but daring.
"I'm married." Alicia stated.
"And I prevented your husband from going down for a long, long time."
"You think I owe you?" the lawyer blasted, pulling away from Kalinda. The younger woman sighed.
"That's not how I intended it to sound. I just want you to be happy."
"I don't think I am." Alicia admitted. "We're married, he's the father of my children and I guess I love him, but I'm not in love with him and I don't think I'll ever trust him again. And we haven't been intimate since, well, since everything."
"What are you saying?" Kalinda asked in anticipation.
"I think there's someone else." She whispered, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.
"You think he's seeing someone else? But how . . .?" Kalinda asked in puzzlement.
"No." Alicia shook her head. "Me. I want someone else."
"You do?"
"I think I do."
"It's not Will is it? Because you know he likes you and you guys have history . . ."
"Kalinda?" Alicia interrupted with a smile, "It's not Will."
"Oh." Despite the investigator's confidence in everyday situations, this was far from an everyday occurrence, she was actually nervous and Alicia thought it was adorable.
"I can't fool myself anymore, the more we've talked this evening, the more I've come to realise that you're who I want." She said quietly.
"Yeah?" Kalinda asked with slight uncertainty.
"Yes." Alicia smiled with clarification. "But it still scares me and I still don't know what to do."
"You know we're kind of covering old ground." Kalinda pointed out to their earlier discussion.
"There's no harm in being thorough." Alicia laughed.
"I meant what I said, we'll work through this together." Alicia squeezed Kalinda's hand at the gesture. "And, whatever this is, we'll take it slow, whatever you need to do, we'll do it."
"It's when you say things like that Kalinda, that leave me speechless, almost breathless sometimes."
"We can't have you breathless, let me help you with that." Kalinda whispered before slowly moving closer to the older woman. Alicia could smell the faint scent of alcohol as Kalinda's breath swept across her lips. She closed her eyes in anticipation as the younger woman continued to move towards her. Kalinda's eyes also fluttered shut before capturing Alicia's lips with her own. The kiss was tender, careful, a moment to be cherished and remembered. Kalinda tangled her hand in the brunette locks and pulled the Junior Associate closer. Feeling somewhat daring and losing almost all inhibition, Alicia's tongue sought the entrance to Kalinda's mouth, she obliged, allowing the older woman to explore her mouth with her velveteen tongue. Kalinda gave everything she had, she poured all her emotion into this one act, ensuring Alicia knew how much she wanted her and cared for her. Their tongues danced and became entwined into one entity. The moment was electric, Alicia felt alive for the first time in years and could easily remain locked in this embrace forever. Reluctantly pulling away, Kalinda sighed as she rested her forehead against Alicia's.
"I could do that again." Alicia breathed.
"I could let you." Kalinda smiled. Alicia pulled away from the investigator and cast her eyes down. "You're feeling guilty."
"I am." Alicia said sadly. Kalinda looked at their still joined hands and once again squeezed gently.
"It's because you're a good and loyal person."
"Am I?"
"Yes, you always want to please everybody." Kalinda explained. "You have come so far on your own Alicia, made tough decisions and you've become your own person. Sure you went through shit to get here, but look at you, you've flourished." Alicia blushed at the kind words gushing from Kalinda's mouth. "You can't hang onto Peter's coat tails the rest of your life, he's used you and abused your trust, and I'm not just saying that because I want you to be with me. I'm saying you don't owe him anything, but whatever you decide, I'll be happy if you're happy."
"Don't say things like that." Alicia said, silent tears making their way down her face. Kalinda frowned at the words, confused as to which part the lawyer was referring to. "You show me a side of you that no one else knows exists, you say the sweetest things."
"Just don't go spreading it around." She smiled in reply.
"I want to keep it to myself, it's precious." Alicia smiled. Kalinda raised her hand and wiped the tears from Alicia's cheek with her thumb. She cupped her face and stroked her thumb over the soft skin, the corner's of her mouth turning upwards, presenting a slight smile. "What happens now?" Alicia asked.
"That's up to you Alicia."
"Let's say dinner, tomorrow night." It was a statement more than a question.
"Sounds perfect." Kalinda concluded with a smile to match.