Author's Note: I started writing this right after "Bad Reputation" aired, but then I kind of hit a wall and decided to wait until after "Journey" aired to finish it up. I've been struggling with serious writer's block the last few months, but after some pushing, I finally got something done. This is my first fanfic for Glee.

"Hey, Q?" Mercedes asked as the pair walked through the school parking lot after glee practice.

"Yeah?"

"You made the GList, didn't you?"

Quinn could tell from her tone that she already knew the answer. It hadn't been accusing; it was more like a statement of fact.

She sighed with resignation and stopped walking, and Mercedes took that as a confirmation. "Thought so," she said smugly, turning to face Quinn, who had the decency to look somewhat embarrassed. "What I want to know is why you left half the club off the list."

"You mean you want to know why I left you off the list, right?" Quinn asked. Before Mercedes could reply, she continued. "Because I respect you."

"Huh?" Mercedes asked, clearly confused.

Quinn smirked slightly before explaining. "I was actually trying to look out for you, Kurt, Artie, and Tina. I didn't want to drag your reputations into it. I was just trying to make myself feel better. I didn't mean to hurt anybody."

Mercedes looked at her quizzically. She had suspected the reason Quinn made the GList was to make herself relevant again at McKinley, and now that she knew that her newest friend wasn't trying to dis her or her friends, that left her with one major question. "If you weren't trying to hurt anyone, then why did you give Rachel a -5?"

Quinn felt the familiar twisting in her gut when she thought of Rachel Berry and felt herself go tense. "Why do you even care? I know you don't like Rachel either."

"That's not true."

Quinn raised a disbelieving eyebrow.

"Look, I know Rachel can be overbearing and obnoxious, not to mention stealing the spotlight from me and Kurt, but since Sectionals she has been making an effort to be a better teammate."

"You still hardly get any solos," Quinn argued, trying to turn the conversation in another direction. She didn't want to think or talk about Rachel more than she already did, which was far too much for her liking.

"That's not Rachel's fault. It's Mr. Schue's. He's the one who refuses to be fair," Mercedes stated matter-of-factly. "But that's not the point. The point is why do you keep going out of your way to antagonize Rachel?"

"I don't," Quinn replied, starting to get a little defensive. Mercedes looked at her disbelievingly. "Okay, I will admit, I'm kind of a bitch to her, but she deserves it."

"Does she?"

"She tried to steal Finn from me even when she thought he was the father of my baby."

"But that's over now, Quinn. Besides, Rachel's not even with Finn. She's with Jesse."

Quinn grimaced. "Ugh, that hardly makes a difference. I can't stand them. The way he always has his arm around her when they walk down the halls together or when they sit next to each other in glee club. His stupid smug grin. It's disgusting how smitten she is with him."

As Quinn ranted, Mercedes raised an eyebrow at her, wondering why she was getting so worked up over glee club's power couple. Sure, she didn't really like Jesse either, but only because it meant even less solos for her. But that didn't really matter as much now that the Cheerios heavily featured her vocal prowess.

But before she could say anything about it, a horn honked, effectively ending Quinn's rant. Both girls looked over to see Puck waiting for Quinn.

"I have to go. See you tomorrow, Mercedes," Quinn said with a slight smile, her ire fading, before walking over to Puck's car.

"See ya, girl," Mercedes replied, the wheels in her head beginning to turn as she watched Quinn leave.

"I find Quinn's animosity toward Rachel to be fascinating," Kurt commented as he applied moisturizer to Mercedes' face. She had just filled him in on her earlier conversation with Quinn. "If she created the GList to rehabilitate her image, why did she place it on Rachel's locker where hardly anyone would see it, but where Rachel most definitely would? The only reason it ended up in the cafeteria is because Puck moved it."

"It is kind of strange," Mercedes agreed. "I mean, since Babygate broke, Quinn's been pretty cool with everyone in glee except Rachel."

"I've noticed. While I'm not exactly Rachel's number one fan, Quinn takes it above and beyond what anyone else does to her."

"You're right. She's always been meaner to Rachel than anyone else. You know, back when Quinn was still a Cheerio, she used to say things to us like we suck, but it was never really personal. Those names she used to call Rachel—'Man Hands,' 'RuPaul,' 'Treasure Trail'..."

"All defeminizing insults." He quirked his eyebrow in thought. "And those pictures she drew of Rachel are telling."

"What pictures?"

"You think I didn't notice those lewd drawings of one Miss Rachel Berry in the girls bathroom stalls?"

"That was Quinn?" Mercedes asked incredulously.

He nodded. "One day I saw Quinn working all during geography class on a drawing of our star. That was when I realized who the bathroom stall artist was. It was done in the same grotesque style, but the odd thing about it was that she surrounded that particular drawing with hearts."

"Oh, no way! Quinn was sitting right next to me in the choir room with that drawing. I remember wondering what was up with that, but I didn't want to get into it with her."

"So she was still working on it after that? For someone who claims to hate Rachel, she sure spends an awful lot of time thinking about her."

Mercedes nodded in agreement. "She also seemed to get really bothered by Rachel asking us for advice on Jesse. Said something about it grossing out her baby. And the way she was going on today about Rachel and Jesse. I could understand it if it was Rachel and Finn, but she pays far too much attention to them."

"Hmm, someone seems a little jealous." Kurt's eyes lit up as he clapped his hands together. "Oh, Mercedes, I think Quinn might be harboring something more than animosity for Rachel. After all, there's a fine line between love and hate."

"I think you're right. The question is what are we going to do about it?"

"Leave it to me, honey," he replied with a smirk.

A week later, Kurt and Quinn were hanging out in Kurt's room waiting for Mercedes, who had run back home to grab her iPod, to return.

"So, I've noticed that Brittany and Santana are awfully close," Kurt commented, absently examining his nails.

"They're best friends," Quinn replied with shrug, idly flipping through a magazine.

"You know what I mean. They're closer than that."

"They are," she agreed. "Are you wondering if you're the only gay kid at McKinley?"

"Hmm, well, statistically speaking, I know I'm not the only one. I'm just curious as to who they are exactly. And while I doubt Brittany and Santana would consider themselves gay, they definitely seem to enjoy each other's company. If I had to label them, I'd say they were bisexual."

"I suppose you could say that," Quinn replied with a slow nod.

"You've never seemed uncomfortable around them."

"They've never given me a reason to feel uncomfortable." Quinn put down the magazine and looked intently at Kurt then. She didn't know exactly what he was getting at. "I don't have a problem with you being gay, Kurt."

"I know. I never thought you did, actually. You don't have a problem with other people's sexuality—you don't judge them for it. To be honest, that came as a surprise to me."

Quinn opened her mouth to reply, but before she could, Kurt quickly continued forward.

"But while you don't have a problem with other people's sexuality, you certainly seem to have a problem with your own."

"Excuse me?" she replied sharply, somewhat taken aback by his forwardness and instinctively feeling a touch of nervousness over what he might be implying.

"President of the Celibacy Club?" he smirked.

Quinn let out a small breath of relief and relaxed slightly before answering evenly, "It was what I believed."

"Was?"

"I still do. What happened with Puck was a mistake. I regretted it before I even knew I was pregnant."

"Aside from that one mistake, is it hard? To control your urges, I mean."

Her eyes narrowed. "That is really none of your business." The truth was, it wasn't hard—at least not when it came to Finn and, later, Puck. The hard part was getting them to control their urges.

"You're right, I'm sorry," he said apologetically, but he wasn't sorry at all. "It's just that I haven't yet had the opportunity to be intimate with a boy, but if presented with said opportunity, it would be difficult to resist."

"That seems to be typical for guys."

"Maybe. But then I wonder about girls like Brittany and Santana. They seem to be fairly… promiscuous. They were in the Celibacy Club too, weren't they?"

Quinn snorted. "All the Cheerios were. But I think I was the only one who took it seriously."

"Didn't Rachel join the club at one point?" Kurt asked with faux innocence, just waiting to see what Quinn's reaction would be.

Again, those hazel eyes narrowed. "I'm sure it was just so she could get closer to Finn. She's infuriating. She had the audacity to challenge the club, talking about how girls want sex just as much as guys do. And then when she actually got a boyfriend in Puck, she wouldn't even let him get to second base."

"It's all about the teasing and not about the pleasing," Kurt suggested mockingly.

Quinn paused in her tirade and looked at him with surprised eyes.

He laughed. "Oh, I knew all about your power motto. I am curious though. How do you know so much about Rachel Berry's love life?"

"Puck told me," she said quickly, her face flushing slightly. The truth was, out of some masochistic urge, she had asked him. She had been nearly sick with jealousy, but she didn't know why. She wasn't jealous when Puck hooked up with anyone besides Rachel. The same with Finn—she couldn't have cared less if he had cheated on her, unless it was with Rachel. She had even told him that.

"I take back what I said about you not judging other people's sexuality," Kurt said, pulling Quinn from her thoughts. "You certainly judge Rachel's."

"I-" she was about to deny it, but she was hit with the realization that it was actually true. It sounded ridiculous when he said it out loud because it was ridiculous. She knew she shouldn't care, but she couldn't help noticing everything about Rachel. And it was infuriating, because deep down, Quinn was afraid of what it could mean.

Sensing Quinn's internal struggle, Kurt dropped the snark and softened. "I don't know what's going on in that pretty head of yours, Quinn, but I have a good guess. And I know what it's like to be afraid to admit to yourself who you are, let alone to the rest of the world."

She stared at him warily for a moment, the implications of his words fully sinking in. "There's nothing to admit," she replied evenly, but she felt nervous.

Kurt nodded slowly, seeming to accept her response. He sensed that they were at a bit of a crossroads. If he pushed too hard, Quinn might spiral further into denial—that is, if his suspicions were correct, which he was 99% positive they were. So he decided to ease up a bit and turn the focus back onto himself. Had this been just one month ago, Kurt wouldn't dare admit what he was about to admit to Quinn Fabray. It would have been far too dangerous.

"You know, I sometimes still struggle with who I am. I really love my dad, and I know it's sometimes hard for him to have a son like me. It hurt when I saw how easily he and Finn get along, and I want that kind of closeness with my dad. So for awhile I tried to be someone I'm not. I tried to be who I thought my dad wanted me to be, but that didn't work out so well." He gave Quinn a self-deprecating smile, and she couldn't help but return it, her edginess fading slightly—but she suspected he wasn't telling her this just to get it off his chest. "But my dad told me that my job is to just be myself, whoever that is, and he'll love me no matter what. I know that I'm lucky to have a father who is so accepting of me." His blue eyes were filled with sympathy as he looked at Quinn. "I can't imagine what it's like to not have that."

His words struck a nerve in Quinn, and she couldn't stop the wave of pain that came from remembering her own father's rejection. She looked away from Kurt and closed her eyes, willing the tears that threatened to fall from doing so. But it was no use, and soon the tears were rolling down her cheeks.

"I tried," Quinn whispered through her tears. "I tried so hard to be exactly who he wanted me to be. I knew I couldn't be anything less than that or else…" She sniffed and shook her head slowly. "One mistake. I made one mistake, and he threw me out the door." She let out a shaky breath as she felt Kurt wrap his arms around her shoulders, pulling her into a hug.

"Shh, it's okay, Quinn. There's no reason to be afraid of being who you truly are. Mercedes and I, we've got your back." He pulled back to look her in the eye. "We won't judge you."

A fresh wave of tears hit her as she pulled Kurt back into a hug and cried into his shoulder. She knew she couldn't blame it entirely on the pregnancy hormones. She was just a jumbled mess of emotions—bitterness at her own family's conditional love, gratitude for the new friends in her life, and confusion over who she was without living up to the expectations of her father.

Finally, after several minutes, Quinn's tears subsided and she pulled back, offering Kurt a shaky smile. "Thank you, Kurt."

He returned the smile. "So, are you ready to tell me what's going on inside your head?"

"I'm not sure," she replied. "I mean, I know that I can talk to you and Mercedes, but I'm not sure I understand what's going on inside my head."

"Well, maybe we can start by me just asking you some questions and see where it leads us," he suggested, trying to put her at ease. "No pressure."

She thought it over for a minute before agreeing with a quiet, "Okay." She told herself that if she didn't want to answer, she wouldn't.

He tapped his chin in thought for a moment before deciding on what he would ask. "When you were dating Puck, did it bother you at all that he was still sleeping with Santana?"

Quinn looked at Kurt quizzically for a moment, not expecting that question at all, but decided that she had no problem telling him the truth. "Honestly, no."

"Hmm," his curiosity piqued. "What about when Finn slept with her?"

"That didn't really bother me either," she shrugged.

"Then why do you get so worked up when either of those boys just kiss Rachel?" he asked smugly.

Quinn immediately felt the familiar burn of jealousy at the mentions of Puck and Finn kissing Rachel, and it showed on her face clear as day in the form of a scowl.

"It's obvious you're jealous," Kurt continued knowingly. "But not of the girls that are with the boys you've been with. It seems to me that you're jealous of the boys who Rachel has shown interest in. Especially our newest addition to New Directions."

She didn't want what he was saying to be true, but it was. And she hated it. She hated how Rachel made her feel—out of control and actually craving to be closer to the girl. She knew her parents would never accept her again if she gave into those feelings. But she was tired—so tired of constantly fighting herself and taking it out on the object of her affection.

"You're right," Quinn admitted after a few moments of silence. "I wish you weren't, but you are. I hate that I feel this way."

"Why?"

"Because I feel so out of control when I'm around her. I don't even understand what I'm feeling."

"You thrive on control, Quinn. But you can't control everything, especially who you are attracted to. Lord knows I know all about that," he said with a smile and a roll of his eyes. It helped add a bit of levity to the situation.

She smiled a bit, feeling a little easier about things despite the uncertainty over what to do with these feelings she was finally admitting to having for another girl. No, not just another girl. For Rachel. A girl she tortured for most of their high school career because she couldn't deal with her feelings. The smile fell from her face as a wave of guilt washed over her. God, how am I going to fix this?

Kurt watched the various emotions play out on Quinn's face. "You okay, sweetie?"

She shook her head, attempting to clear her mind. It didn't really work. "I'm kind of overwhelmed, actually," she said, turning to face him. "I have a lot to think about." She sighed and slowly got up to stand. Kurt followed suit.

"Leaving already?"

Quinn nodded and smiled ruefully. "I kind of want to be alone with my thoughts right now if that makes sense."

He nodded in understanding.

"Tell Mercedes I said goodbye. And, well, thank you for helping me today." She pulled him into a hug.

"Anytime. Remember, we've got your back."

As soon as Quinn was gone, Kurt sent a text to Mercedes: Mission accomplished.