This might be kinda OOC. I' am not sure. I forgot to put up a disclaimer again. I do not own Death Note. But i guess I own Mr. Squiggles...

"This is the cat I was talking about Raito-kun."

Raito stared at the cat. It was huge. Like easily over 50 pounds. L wasnt kidding. Now he just needed to hear it meow.
"Wow. Thats a f-"

He saw L shaking his head "no" at him. So, the cat doesnt want to be called fat...ok he can handle that.

"-Fffuzzy cat."

"Mew"

So it had a squeaky meow like L had said.

"Let me pet you Mr. Squiggles..."

"Raito, no! That meow means that he is an-"

"YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEOOOUUUUCCCHHHH!"

L POV

Raito-kun has blood running all over his face. I hope this teaches him a lesson. And i can't wait to tell him why it took such a short time for him to get scratched...
***

Raito was getting shots and stiches.

"Why did it scratch me so early on, Ryuzaki?

"Well, the cat,Mr. Squiggles, is a homophobe."

"So your saying this cat attacked me because I'm gay?"

"Yes. Judging from your obsession with your appearance,how you treat your girlfriend, an your last name backwards, I can conclude that Raito-kun is homosexual."

"I will ship the cat back to Wammy's."

"That cat has issues," said Yagami-san.

"Yes he does. I wonder why Roger keeps him."

Meanwhile...

"MR. SQUIGGLES...how I miss you so much. You are the only company I have with all of the children being ass-faces constantly,
except for Matt, but Matt hangs out with that ass-face Mello constantly! And Watari rejected me after I found you! My life is screwed up!"

"My face hurts, Ryuzaki!"

"What do you expect me to do about it?"

"Kiss it"

"I believe that is your father's job, Raito-kun."

"But I want you to kiss my face."
"Misa-san, Raito-kun needs a kiss, and I think that you are the perfect person for the job." L said through the microphone.

Before Raito could yell at L, Misa burst through the doors.

"RRAAIITTOOO!" Misa kissed Raito so many times that his facewas turned bright pink.
"BYE BYE!"

"Why would Raito-Kun want me to kiss him"

"I'm a gay, remember?"

"Raito,I do not want to hear that from you ever again! That is making fun of our family name and I just cannot stand that because it is just absolutely terrible, especially comeing from my own son, who isnt gay! yelled Yagami-san.

Raito did not hear because he was too busy kissing L.

L pulled away saying,"My percentage of being homosexual is now at 99.9999999 percent."

Yagami-san fainted

Why is L judging everyone? I dont know...Yagami-san goes on a rant..yay!