A/N: Hi everyone! I've decided to write a series of one-shots dealing with scenes from Life On Mars as though Sam Tyler actually is the Master experiencing these things. I'd like to attempt at least one for every episode, but we'll see, since not every scene really works for this idea.

Each title here is either a title or lyric from a David Bowie song, and they will each lend to the overall mood or theme of that particular scene. (I suppose you could have figured that out on your own, but just so you're aware).

Anyway, just smile, nod your head, and indulge me...

If I'm Dreaming My Life

Sometimes he wasn't sure if he was living in a dream or reality. If the drums weren't just some distant noise, invading his mind, trying to coax him out of the illusion. Like the blast of trumpets that crumbled the walls of Jericho, the drums would shatter the barrier trapping him away from what is real.

But other times he was certain that even his sick, twisted sense of punishment could not conjure up this realm of pity, grief, anger, and loneliness as a purgatory for his unabsolved sins.

The Master entered the police station with an uneasy gait, as if he stood at the entrance of a labyrinth, afraid that if he ventured too deep that he would be lost inside forever. He closed his eyes for a moment, attempting to regain control of himself, of his childish fantasies; to become master over that which he would otherwise fear. He shook his head slightly and turned to leave, deciding that this adventure that laid itself before him here might not be worth his effort.

But at that moment, DCI Gene Hunt and DC Chris Skelton came out of Gene's office. They spotted the Master, their supposed DI Sam Tyler, as he was about to vanish through the doors.

"Bloody hell," said Gene. "I've seen road accidents more cheerful. Where are you today: here or the planet of the Clangers?"

The Master gave him an odd expression. He flushed with embarrassment at the memory of having to be told so long ago that they were only puppets, for the amusement of children. In truth, he too had been amused by them, enjoyed thinking that they existed somewhere in the universe. Their dubious reality only added to the long list of disappointments in his life.

"Didn't know if you were gonna show, Boss," said Chris.

"Where else could I go?" the Master asked. But really, he wondered: Where else would have me?

"Well," said the Guv, casually. "We're honored." He then put an arm across the Master's shoulders and led him down the corridor, toward the den of the Minotaur. But the Master had no string to find his way back. And he knew then that this would not be a simple task, but that he would be stuck in the midst of this enterprise, as Sam Tyler, for a long time to come.

(A/N: And yes, Delgado!Master actually watched The Clangers in the Doctor Who episode The Sea Devils. And you really almost feel for him when you see the look of disappointment on his face.)