Chapter 1: My life is a Joke

I went over to Kim's house. I knew her parents wouldn't be home, and what the hell. Sometimes, a guy's got needs, ya know?

There were no lights on, which I thought was kinda odd. I rang the doorbell. Waited, but she didn't open the door. So I let myself in.

When I walked upstairs, I heard voices from Kim's room. The conversation didn't fill me full of good cheer and good will towards all mankind.

"Why are you dating that loser, Ron?"

"I don't know, Josh. Eric was made by Drakken, and I didn't think about it the time."

"So you used him, Kim?"

"Yeah, I did."

Then they both laughed and started to make out, I heard them do it. I swear, if I'd had a gun I'd have charged in there and blown both their brains out.

Instead, I left and slammed the door on my way out. Threw the flowers in a trash can. Should have pissed on them before I did that, now that I think about it.

I was heading home when something hit me. I fell to the ground. What felt like moments later, I found that I was in a hotel room. Tied to a chair. "Ow, my head..."

"He's awake," said one of the goons.

I knew I was just asking for trouble, but I said it anyway. "Got any painkillers?"

The goon punched me in the face, but I just chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Mr. No-Neck demanded.

"Just the night I'm having." And boy, ain't that an understatement.

"Sidekick, you're gonna help us get rid of Kim Possible."

I let out another chuckle. "Like I'm really going to help you douchebags? I've got a lump on my head the size of Mt. Rushmore!"

"That's it, I'm gonna beat the crap out of you!" said Mr. No-Neck. Okay, I think I'm in trouble.

"Jim, I'll take care of this."

"Alright, fine." He sighed and opened the door, quickly departing.

After Jim left, the goon pulled out a knife. Begin to cut upward into my lips.

"AAAAAAH!" I screamed in pain. I could taste the blood dribbling down my chin, I shit you not.

Next did the same to the left side. "AAAAAAAAAH!" I screamed out in more pain than before.

More blood dripped down from the cuts. That's when the goon got creative; next, he started on my chest. My back. My arms and my legs. I was a mess of blood, and the room had started to smell like a slaughterhouse.

And that's when I lost it. Hey, at that point I started imagining Kim being here with Josh and both of them laughing at me as they held hands together? All that anger, all that fury, all that HATE...

My smile broke into a grin. I licked the blood with my tongue. And that's when I come up with a plan.

"Okay, enough! How about we make a deal? I'll bring you KP after you untie me and I clean myself up a bit, I'll tell her I escaped and that we have to hurry in order to catch you."

"How do I know you won't rat us out?"

"The fact that I caught her cheating on me tonight, good enough for you?"

"Okay, sidekick, you got yourself a deal." He cut the ropes.

Then he just stood there, grinning at me. Like he was perfectly safe, and there was nothing a blood-soaked wreck like me could do to him.

That's it. I picked up the goddamn chair and hit him over the head with it. The goon collapsed to the floor. I guess that's overconfidence for you...

Took the knife from his hand. Did the same thing to him that he did to me. Hey, what's good for the goose is good for the gander, and whoever said that revenge is a dish best served cold is a friggin' moron, if you ask me.

So then I put the blade to his neck and sliced it. River of blood comes pouring out. That'd teach him not to mess with a joker.

"AHAHAHAHA!" My laugh sounded dark, as I smeared the blood around my lips. I didn't care, though. Light, dark, what the hell does it matter anymore?

I pulled out a bomb then set it down. I'd made the bomb while I was still Zorpox. Damned if that doesn't feel like good times now.

Next is the tracking chip. Took it out from my pocket and dropped it. Opened the door. Closed the door behind me as I walked down the stairs to the front doors of the place. I'm outside, looking to see if anyone's around. Guess I'd be quite a sight. When I saw no one, I pulled out the remote and pushed the button.

KA-BOOM!

I looked up to see the room on the top floor exploding. Fire bursting though the windows. Now everything is up in flames. Walked away with an evil smile.

Tonight, the Joker has been born.

To Be Continued