See Chapters 1, 4, 7, 8 and 9 for Disclaimers

"It's a Mom Thing"

by Lisa O'Brien

Copyright September, 2003

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you again for all the reviews and feedback. They truly made this story a joy to write.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Friday, October 10

9:00 a.m.

Ryan packed for his departure from the hospital, anxious to get home so he could sleep in his own bed, eat dinner at the dining room table with the Cohens and hang out with Seth and the Playstation. Old habits die hard, though. He kept his expectations low so he wouldn't be too disappointed when Dr. Jenkins decided to keep him for another day or two.

Sandy breezed into the room. "The paperwork's done. We just need to wait for Dr. Jenkins to sign off and you're outta here." His eyes widened. "What're you doing?"

Ryan grinned mischievously. "Brain surgery."

"Let me get that. You're not officially released, yet." Sandy took over.

Ryan stretched out on the bed, silently watching Sandy pack the clothes, books and games that had accumulated in the room since Ryan's hospitalization. "Where's Kirsten? I thought she'd be here."

Sandy chuckled. "She's at home. She's probably re-decorated the guest room by now." He folded a shirt and put it in the bag. "She wants you to stay in the house until you're back on your feet. She probably won't sleep if you don't."

"Makes sense. That's cool." Ryan leaned back and folded his hands on his stomach. "We probably oughta stop at the administration office on the way out. I probably need to make some arrangements to pay the bill."

"Already taken care of." Sandy shook his head. "You're on Kirsten's health policy through her company. You are a dependent, now. We met the deductible your first night and passed into 100% care by the time you left the step-down unit."

Ryan blinked. "Then I'll pay you guys back."

"It's not gonna break the bank, Ryan. Don't worry about it." Sandy stopped and turned to him. "Ryan, if you'd done something dumb like trying to jump from the roof into the pool. Or jumping your bike off the pier, I'd be makin' you pay us back." He shrugged. "But you had appendicitis. It doesn't count."

"Sandy -"

"Ryan, medical care is part of the package. Period. End of conversation." As though that wasn't enough, Sandy changed the subject. "Look at all this stuff."

Ryan sighed and put his hands behind his head. "I guess it's kinda lucky, since I'm probably gonna have to find a new job, anyway."

"Kirsten let the manager at the Crab Shack know what was going on with you. And when Seth and I talked to him Sunday night, he said you can come back whenever you're up to it. The other waiters have been picking up your shifts." Sandy grinned. "I got the impression that he wouldn't let you quit if you wanted to." He winked.

Ryan hadn't thought about the Crab Shack. There had been too many other things to worry about, but knowing he could go back was a good thing.

"You know, Ryan, if you ever decide you don't want to work . . .."

Ryan nodded. "I know, but I do. I've had other jobs before, but sometimes I screwed 'em up and sometimes they got screwed up for me."

Sandy nodded and went back to packing.

There was a knock on the door and Dr. Jenkins entered. "Well, Ryan, while I can honestly say I'm sorry to see you go, we need the bed for someone who's really sick." She winked.

Ryan smiled shyly. "Thanks for everything, Dr. Jenkins."

The doctor stroked Ryan's hair, still smiling. "I told you I was very fond of you." She turned serious. "Now, I want you to take it easy at home for the next week. You can start back at school for half-days a week from Monday next." She pointed a warning finger. "No physical education. No sports. No roughhousing with your mates."

Ryan nodded. "When can I go back to full days? I'm . . . sort of on probation."

Sandy squeezed Ryan's shoulder. "That's all been taken care of, Ryan."

Dr. Jenkins turned from Sandy and focused on Ryan. "It will probably be about two weeks. Remember, Ryan, you've had surgery twice and you've been taking no exercise and had little physical activity. You'll probably find the first half-days to be a bit much." The doctor reached into her pocket and handed Sandy a tube of antibiotic cream. "Put that on your incision after you shower. And I'll see you in my office on Monday to remove the stitches from your hand. I'll check the others and take them out if they're ready then, okay?"

Ryan nodded.

"Any questions?"

"No." Ryan smiled shyly. "Thanks doesn't seem like enough."

Dr. Jenkins kissed Ryan's cheek. "You take care of yourself, Luv." She winked. "And take care of your family."

"I will," Ryan promised, feeling his face flush.

"If only you were 20 years older." Dr. Jenkins patted Ryan's cheek, squeezed Sandy's arm and left the room.

Sandy threw his hands up. "I just don't get it."

Ryan grinned. "Neither do I." The grin widened. "But I'm not gonna complain." He turned and threw his legs over the side of the bed. "Let's blow this joint."

"Be careful there, Ryan," Sandy cautioned as Ryan lowered his feet to the floor. "Aren't we supposed to wait for a wheelchair?"

"I was hoping you wouldn't notice." Ryan sat in the chair. He regarded Sandy, who had finished packing. "I want to go see Dawn."

"Sure. One day next week."

"Today. Before we go . . . home." Ryan focused on his shoes. "There are things I need to say to her and I wanna get it over with."

Sandy sat on the bed. "I can understand that, Ryan, but does it have to be today? I'm not even sure they'll let you visit her. You're a minor."

Ryan raised his head. "They will if you sign me in. Dawn took us to visit my dad a few times before his trial."

Sandy sighed. "All right. But I have to go on record to say I think you should give yourself a little more time to heal."

"That's what I'm trying to do, Sandy." Ryan's voice was quiet.

The arrival of a wheelchair and an aide interrupted further discussion. "Patient services is stacked up and I lost the straw pull," Rachel announced. "I have the unfortunate duty of escorting you out of the hospital, Ryan." She winked.

"You ladies do know he's 16 and doesn't have a car, right?"

"Way to salt my game, Sandy," Ryan muttered as he settled in the chair.

Rachel laughed. "Let's get you home to your family."

9:30 a.m.

Ryan watched the scenery pass as Sandy drove to the Central Jail in Santa Ana. The sun was bright and a light breeze stirred the leaves on the trees. Weather like that was perfect for riding to the pier with Seth, or hanging out with Marissa. Getting out of the hospital on such a nice day wasn't too bad. Telling your mother to stay out of your life didn't seem right.

Ryan shifted in the seat as Sandy turned into the parking lot. The ride in the Beemer hadn't been as smooth as he remembered, making his side ache. He glanced away from the passenger window as Sandy pulled the car into a parking space. He caught a glimpse of himself in the rearview mirror, hoping Sandy wouldn't notice his pallor or the nervous twitch in his right leg. Sandy wouldn't let him go through with this if he did.

"Are you sure you're up to this?"

Ryan flinched as Sandy squeezed his shoulder. He took a shuddering breath. "I need to do this, Sandy." He turned back to the window. "It's just . . . not easy. I thought . . .." He gestured helplessly. "I don't know what I thought."

"All the more reason for you to go home and rest."

This time, Ryan pulled away when Sandy touched his arm. "I'm fine," he insisted. "Really." He wasn't fine. He was pretty sure Sandy knew it, too. It was now or never, though. If Ryan didn't cut Dawn out of his life today, he never would.

"Look, Ryan, if you're worried about your mother showing up, don't. Kirsten and I talked and I told your mother not to come around unless she got her act together."

Ryan put a hand on his right leg, hoping to stop the twitch. "Won't work. She'll get out of here, get drunk and do something stupid." Sandy wasn't going to let him go through with it. He didn't understand.

"That doesn't mean it has to be today, Ryan. She can't make bail. She won't be out for a while. At least a few weeks." Sandy turned the key and started the engine.

Panic turned to anger. "I have to do this now, Sandy!" Ryan shouted, instantly regretting it. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the shocked expression on Sandy's face. He put his face in his hands. "I'm sorry," he mumbled.

Sandy cupped the back of his neck. "It's okay."

Ryan wished he could be calm and always in control like Sandy and Kirsten. He couldn't. He was too much like Dawn, Trey and his father. Someday he'd stop caring who he hurt, just like they had. "No, it's not okay. That's the problem." He took a deep breath and turned to gaze out the window. "If I don't do this now, I won't be able to do it. Dawn'll show up again, say she's sorry and cry. And I'll tell her I love her and I'll give her another chance and she'll hurt me all over again." His voice broke. "Just like it's always been." Carefully, he opened the door and pulled himself out of the car.

Ryan heard Sandy's door close as he made the slow trek toward the entrance to the Women's Jail.

9:50 a.m.

Ryan waited in a chair in the lobby while Sandy took care of the inevitable paperwork. He shifted in the plastic chair, trying to get comfortable. He couldn't concentrate and he had to find the right words to say to Dawn when he cut her out of his life.

It should have been easy. Dawn had, after all, left him twice. She would always be his mother and he still loved her, but the cycle had to stop. He had to stop it since she'd never been able to.

Sandy entered the lobby accompanied by a tall, muscular corrections officer. "Rick's gonna take you back to a private visitor's room. I've asked him to stay in the room with you. For my own peace of mind."

Ryan nodded and stood. "Thanks, Sandy." His stomach turned and he swallowed convulsively. He didn't have the courage to face Dawn. He never had. That was why he'd always forgiven her.

Sandy squeezed his shoulder. "I'll be waiting out here."

Ryan managed a wavering smile and squeezed Sandy's hand. It took effort to get his legs moving as Rick crossed the lobby.

Rick opened a door. "We'll go through here." He waited for Ryan to pass through the door, then followed. "There's no contact, no passing things -"

"I know the drill," Ryan said quietly, keeping his eyes on the floor. "It's the same in Chino, where my dad is."

"Oh." Rick led the way down the hall, through another door and another hallway. He opened the door, checked inside and stepped back. "Your mom's already been brought in. If anything happens, just get out of the way and let me handle it, okay?"

Ryan nodded and stepped into the room. It was small, with a table and four plastic chairs like those in the lobby.

"Oh, my God, Ryan. I can't believe you're here." Dawn stood. She was wearing a blue jumpsuit, just like the one he'd worn in juvie. "They told me I couldn't see you, baby."

"Go ahead and have a seat, ma'am." Rick closed the door and crossed his arms.

Ryan carefully seated himself at the table, watching Dawn as she did the same. Her hair was greasy and stringy and she had dark circles under her eyes. Without make-up, she looked ten years older. She looked like she'd been on a bender and he wondered if she'd conned one of the guards into sneaking booze to her. The thought of what she'd have to do for it made him shiver. When she reached for his hand, he drew back. "Don't."

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I don't know what got into me." Tears glistened in Dawn's eyes. She was so good at looking sincere. "Please, don't hate me. I didn't mean -"

Ryan knew the speech by heart. He didn't need to hear it again. Dawn never meant anything she did or said. She never stopped doing them, though.

"I don't hate you. I never could." Ryan cocked his head and his eyes narrowed. "Loving you hasn't been enough, either." He took a deep breath. Now, or never. "I can't do this anymore . . .." He'd almost called her Dawn. That would've hurt her. He wasn't here to hurt her, although it would be easy. He knew what buttons to push. He was her son. "I can't do this anymore, Mom. I can't see you or talk to you until you straighten your life out."

"It'll be different this time, Kiddo. I swear it will." Dawn's voice broke. "Just you and me. We'll get a place, I'll quit drinkin' -"

"And you'll meet somebody like A.J. or worse," Ryan said through gritted teeth. The ache in his side reminded him of how much worse things could get. He glared at her. "It won't change. You won't change."

"No." Dawn sniffled and shook her head. "I've had time to think and this lawyer's gotten me into a program." She smiled through her tears. "Please forgive me, Ry. I'm so, so sorry." She reached for his hand again, catching it before he could pull away.

"No contact, ma'am." Rick took a step forward.

Ryan's heart pounded as he forcefully pulled his hand away. "I can forgive you, Mom. But I can't forget what you did." He ran a hand through his hair. "Before, I tried to forget because it was the only way to survive."

"Ryan, baby, I love you. I don't want to lose you." Dawn covered her mouth and sobbed.

"Then prove it, Mom. Get help. Quit drinking." Ryan's voice broke and he took a deep breath, waiting for the wave of anger and sadness to pass. He knew that would never happen. "I didn't know any better when I was little, or after Dad got arrested. But now I know that family's don't have to be like ours is."

"I'm sorry we're not rich like the Cohens," Dawn spat. She slapped the table with both hands, then pushed away from it and stood, knocking the chair over.

Ryan pushed his chair back, ready to get out of the way when she came at him over the table.

"Have a seat, ma'am." Rick took a step toward Dawn. "Visit's over if I have to tell you again."

Dawn glared at Ryan, as though the warning were his fault. He watched anxiously as she slowly righted the chair and sat.

Ryan's heart was pounding and his voice shook. "Rich has nothing to do with it, Mom. I got a job so I wouldn't have to depend on Sandy and Kirsten for money." Dawn would've known about the job if she'd bothered to ask him about what he'd been doing since she abandoned him. "The Cohens care about each other. They take care of each other."

"I took care of you! I've taken care of you every day since you were born!" Dawn shouted. "I changed your damn diapers and I cleaned you up when you puked all over yourself. I put clothes on your back and I fed you. Dammit! I took care of your father and your brother and you for years!"

"Yeah, and you never stopped reminding me of what a pain in the ass I was," Ryan said through gritted teeth. "My all time favorite, though, is what a mistake I was."

Dawn dropped her eyes to stare at the table.

Ryan took several deep breaths, trying to will his heart to slow down before it exploded. "Do you know how many days Sandy and Kirsten missed at work when I was sick? How many nights they stayed at the hospital with me? Instead of going to the pier, or the beach, Seth spent a Saturday and Sunday with me in a hospital room." The memory of Saturday made him shiver. He didn't know why he bothered. Dawn didn't care about him. "They didn't do those things because they had to, but because they cared about me." He waited for the words to sink in. "You didn't miss any work when I had my tonsils out and I was only 7."

"I wasn't a lawyer and I didn't own my own company." Dawn leaned back, crossing her arms as she glared at him. "Too bad, so sad, Ryan."

"One day, Mom! You took me to the hospital and you left." Ryan's voice rose. "You weren't even there when I woke up." He pounded a fist against the table. "And you and Dad didn't miss any partying, either," he sneered. He sat back and put a hand to his right side. "I knew you were never about the mom thing -"

"But Kirsten is," Dawn scoffed, but not in time to hide the fact that he'd scored a direct hit with that one.

Ryan's smile was cold. "She was there when I was sick. I didn't even want her there because I wasn't used to it. Thanks for that, Mom," he said sarcastically. "So were Sandy and Seth." He leaned forward, resting his hands on the table. "Kirsten worries about what I eat, when I eat, whether I'm wearing the right clothes for the weather, whether I'm working too many hours, getting enough sleep."

Dawn bit her lip, signaling another direct hit. Tears formed in her eyes.

"You never did that for me and Trey." Ryan took a deep breath, shutting her out. Hurting her should have felt good, but it didn't. "If you get your life together, we can talk." He pushed the chair back.

"Don't do this to me, Ryan," Dawn begged, tears falling fast. "You're all I have left, Ryan. Please forgive me." She sobbed and ran a hand through her hair. "I love you, Ryan. Don't just leave me."

Ryan felt a tear on his cheek and swiped at it. "I have to, Mom. I don't wanna be like you and dad and Trey, hurting people because I hurt." Another tear fell. "I can't let you hurt me again, Mom." He stood, put his head down and slowly walked to the door before she could make him change his mind.

Rick opened the door and Ryan left, ignoring Dawn's pleas for forgiveness. Silently he followed the C.O. through the halls leading back to the lobby. There was a hollow feeling in Ryan's chest. Even though this time, it had been his decision, it was the same feeling he had the day he found the house in Chino empty and the morning Dawn abandoned him with the Cohens.

Ryan concentrated on the back of the C.O.'s boots as he followed him through the last hallway. His vision blurred and he wiped his eyes on his sleeve. He ground his teeth together, fighting the urge to break down. He was 16 and he'd be damned if he would cry in front of the burly guard. Or Sandy.

Sandy stood when they entered the lobby. Ryan stopped and crossed his arms, focusing on the floor while Sandy talked to the guard. Unconsciously, he shifted from one foot to the other.

"Come on, Ryan, let's get you home." Sandy put an arm around his shoulders and steered him toward the door.

Ryan managed to reach the car before the wave of emotion broke over his head. He gripped the handle of the door and lowered himself to the ground, drawing his legs up and covering his face with his hands.

"Ryan?" Sandy's voice was filled with concern.

Ryan felt Sandy settle next to him.

"It's gonna be okay, Ryan. Everything's gonna work out," Sandy assured quietly, rubbing his back.

After a minute, Ryan took a deep, shuddering breath and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. He didn't lift his head because he couldn't let Sandy see that he'd been crying. "I told Dawn I wouldn't see her unless she got her life together."

Sandy nodded. "Yeah, I figured that out. I'm sorry it came to that, Ryan."

Ryan kept his head down. "If it's the right thing to do, then why does it hurt so much?" His voice broke.

"Maybe because you're not as damaged as you thought you were."

Ryan frowned, regarding Sandy out of the corner of his eye. "I don't remember . . .." His hands were shaking. He clasped them together to make it stop.

"It was something you said to Seth on Monday."

"How do you know about it?" Ryan vaguely remembered the conversation.

"He didn't understand and he actually asked his old man for advice." There was pride in Sandy's voice. "Ryan, this was probably one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do in your life. The fact that you feel bad about it is better than feeling nothing at all."

"Yeah, I guess." Ryan shrugged helplessly. Right now, he'd prefer the nothing.

"It'll pass, Ryan. Just give it some time." Sandy squeezed his shoulder. "Are you ready to go home?"

Ryan nodded silently. When he tried to stand, he found that getting down was much simpler than getting up. The ache in his side turned sharp as he tried to lift himself to his feet. He gritted his teeth and turned to reach for the door handle. Not a smart move.

"Let me give you a hand." Sandy stood.

Ryan started to refuse. He'd gotten himself into this situation. He'd get himself out. That's how it had always been.

The Cohens took care of each other. That included Ryan. He took Sandy's offered hand, accepting help to get back on his feet.

Sandy unlocked the door and opened it.

"Thanks for bringing me here, Sandy. I'm sorry about earlier." Ryan squeezed his guardian's arm, then carefully lowered himself into the car.

"What happened earlier?" Sandy winked and carefully closed the door.

10:30 a.m.

"We're here." Sandy turned to Ryan after shutting the engine off.

Ryan took a deep breath and stared up at the house. "I . . . I think I'm gonna go out back . . . I'm not . . .." He ran a shaking hand through his hair.

"Go ahead." Sandy nodded and squeezed the boy's arm. "Be careful on the driveway, okay?"

Ryan quietly opened the door and pulled himself out of the car. Sandy waited a second, then got out of the car and followed the boy around the side of the house.

Once Ryan was safely seated at the table outside the poolhouse, he turned and walked back around to the front. He opened the front door and stepped inside.

"Where have you two been?" Kirsten stopped and looked past Sandy. "Where's Ryan?"

"He's out back." Sandy quietly closed the door. "I took him to see Dawn."

"Why? What did she say? What did she do?" Kirsten's pale skin reddened. "If I get my hands on her . . .."

Sandy held up a hand. "Ryan wanted to go, Kirsten." He took a deep breath. "He told her he doesn't want to see her unless she gets some help."

Kirsten put a hand to her mouth. "Oh, Sandy. I should go talk to him."

Sandy grabbed Kirsten's arm. "Give him some time. It wasn't easy for him."

"I know that. All the more reason for me -"

"I think this is something Ryan wants to deal with on his own."

Kirsten inhaled, then nodded. "You're probably right."

Sandy followed his wife into the kitchen, smiling as she walked to the back patio door and craned her neck, stopping when she spotted Ryan at the table by the poolhouse. He stepped up behind her and rubbed her shoulders. "He's okay, babe."

Kirsten put her hands over his. "I know that." She sighed. "I just can't stand seeing him hurt."

Sandy kissed the top of her head. "It'll pass."

Kirsten leaned against her husband. "When?"

12:55 p.m.

Rosa stood at the stove, alternately stirring a pot of soup and putting together a sandwich. Kirsten entered the kitchen, stopped and took a deep breath.

"Oh, Rosa, that smells wonderful. Is that chicken soup?" Kirsten smiled.

"Mrs. Cohen's recipe had too much basil, but I worked with it." Rosa returned the smile.

"Don't let Sandy hear you say that." Kirsten snickered. "Is that Ryan's lunch?"

Rosa nodded. "He's still outside. I was going to bring it out for him." She pointed to the clock. "It's getting late."

Kirsten nodded. "I'll take it out."

"Miss Kirsten, Mr. Sandy said Ryan needed some time by himself."

"He's had two hours and twenty-five minutes." Kirsten smiled and gave Rosa a conspiratorial wink. "And Sandy's at the office."

Rosa laughed. She placed the plate with Ryan's sandwich on a tray, got a bowl from the cabinet and ladled soup into it.

"Not too much. Ryan's appetite isn't back up to speed, yet."

Rosa ladled some of the soup back into the pot and set the bowl on the tray.

Kirsten pulled silverware and a cloth napkin from a drawer. She took a glass from another cabinet, went around the island, filled the glass with ice and got a Sprite from the fridge.

As Kirsten picked up the tray, Rosa walked to the back door and opened it for her.

"Good luck," Rosa said as Kirsten stepped onto the patio.

Kirsten confidently approached the table, where Ryan was seated with his back to the house. "I brought your lunch out for you, Ryan." She set the tray on the table.

Ryan wiped his eyes, but kept his head down. "Thanks. Ah . . . I'm not really hungry."

"That's good, because it's just a sandwich and a little bit of chicken soup." Kirsten stroked his blond hair. "You need to eat if you're going to get your strength back."

Ryan pushed the chair back and slowly stood. At first, Kirsten was afraid she'd said something wrong. She was surprised when he hugged her.

Kirsten laughed quietly, putting her arms around Ryan to return the hug. "What's that for?"

"The mom things," Ryan said quietly.

Smiling, Kirsten turned to kiss the top of Ryan's head, which was resting on her shoulder. "At least someone appreciates them."

"When you don't have it . . .." Ryan pulled away and focused on the pool. "I went to see Dawn," he said reluctantly.

Kirsten brushed the hair from Ryan's forehead. "I know. Sandy told me." She sighed. "I'm sorry doesn't cut it. I think you made the right decision, though, Ryan. For you." She paused. "It's not your fault that you had to make it."

Ryan put his head down.

Kirsten hugged the boy. "It's gonna be okay, baby. You'll see." She pulled back and lifted his chin. "You're part of this family. Where you belong."

Ryan nodded silently and gave her one of those sad, half-smiles.

Kirsten would take what she could get. She patted the chair. "Now, sit down and eat your lunch." She was disappointed when Ryan sat and listlessly picked at the sandwich. Two hours and twenty-five minutes, apparently, hadn't been long enough. She smoothed his tousled hair. "I'll be inside if you need me."

Rosa was bringing a tray out as Kirsten neared the house. She waved the other woman off, then quickened her pace to get the door.

"Pobre si." Rosa set the tray on the island. "We can't just let him sit out there by himself."

"I don't like it either, but we have to," Kirsten returned sadly.

6:30 p.m.

The family was seated at the table, having their first dinner together in more than ten days. Sandy had been talking about the people at his new firm who pitched in to cover for him while he was out of the office. Ryan had been too busy picking at his dinner to listen.

"Are you feeling okay?" Kirsten touched Ryan's arm.

Ryan looked up from his plate. "Fine." He pushed his plate away. "I'm just not hungry. Sorry."

"The kitchen's always open." Sandy smiled.

"Are you ready, Miss Kirsten?" Rosa stepped into the doorway leading from the kitchen.

"Yes, thanks, Rosa."

Ryan placed his silverware on the plate, slowly standing to help Rosa clear the table.

"Oh, no, Ryan." Rosa chuckled. "You're going to sit down and let me do my job." She took the plate from his hands and gently urged him back down to the chair.

"Thank you, Rosa." Kirsten waited for Rosa to leave, then turned to Ryan. "Sandy and I wanted to talk to you about the guest room."

Ryan frowned, his brows knitting together. Maybe they'd changed their minds about him staying in the house.

"It's not a permanent move, unless you want it to be," Kirsten informed.

"If Ryan moves into the house, can I move out to the poolhouse?"

Sandy and Kirsten turned toward their son. "No, Seth," they said in unison.

Seth held up his hands. "Had to try."

"It's up to you, Ryan. You can decorate the room any way you want. We'll get paint and wall paper and linens and furniture." Kirsten smiled, although Ryan could see she was worried about him. "It's your decision."

Ryan was starting to worry about himself. He should be over Dawn, but he wasn't. He should've come home and let Kirsten and Sandy deal with her if she ever showed up looking for him. He didn't think he was genetically capable of ever making the right decision. His family proved that time and time again.

"And don't feel like you have to move into the house," Sandy chimed in. "In fact, I've told Kirsten that no 16 year old kid is gonna voluntarily give up a private place with a private entrance to live under the constant watchful eyes of the parental units." He gestured toward Seth. "Seth's desire to move out to the poolhouse being Exhibit A."

"Another mystery solved," Ryan muttered.

Sandy frowned.

Ryan waved and shook his head. "Nothing."

"You don't have to decide tonight." Kirsten squeezed Ryan's shoulder. "And if you want to stay in the poolhouse, we can re-decorate it."

"Either one is already nicer than any place I've ever lived," Ryan said quietly, focusing on the tablecloth. "I'm kinda tired." He pushed his chair back. "'Night." He stood and left the dining room.

Ryan closed the door of the guest room, kicked his shoes off and stretched out on the bed. He turned to his left side and stared at the wall, unconsciously wrapping his arms around his middle. For the first time in his life, he was part of a real family. How long would it take him to screw it up?

9:10 p.m.

The house was quiet when Ryan ventured out of the guest room. It was Friday night, so he guessed the Cohens had gone out. He heard the television as he walked into the kitchen and followed the sound into the den.

Kirsten paused whatever she was watching. "Hey. Are you hungry? I can fix you something to eat."

Ryan shook his head and entered the den, sitting on the love seat. "Where're Sandy and Seth?"

"They started playing one of those video games and were making way too much noise. I sent them to bond over a game of pool, so you'd have some peace and quiet." Kirsten smiled slyly. "Well, actually, I wanted the peace and quiet."

"What're you watching?" Ryan gestured toward the T.V.

"As Time Goes By."

"Is it okay if I join you?" Ryan hadn't meant to sound so hesitant. After the way he'd been acting today, Kirsten probably needed some peace and quiet away from him, too.

A smile lit Kirsten's face. "Of course you can, Ryan."

Ryan swallowed the lump in his throat. To cover, he stood and gestured toward the kitchen. "I'm gonna get something to drink. Do you want anything?"

"I'm fine, thanks." Kirsten gestured toward a full glass of iced tea on the coffee table. "Take your time. I'll wait."

The weight of remorse Ryan had carried all day was finally gone. He smiled shyly and put his head down as he walked into the kitchen. He hadn't screwed anything up by brooding over his decision to get away from Dawn for good. Unlike Dawn, Kirsten understood how he felt and it didn't make her jealous.

Ryan set his glass and can of Sprite on the table and sat on the couch next to Kirsten. "Which one did I miss on Sunday?"

"The one where Jean got on the Internet."

"Can we watch that one?"

Kirsten stroked Ryan's hair. "Of course." She pointed the remote at the DVD player and flipped through the menu.

As the opening credits started, Ryan leaned his head against Kirsten's shoulder just like he had so many times in the hospital. Dr. Jenkins had been right. Sometimes, your mom was the person who was there for you and took care of you.

Kirsten put her hand in his. Things really were going to be okay. At 16, Ryan had a real family and a real mom.

The End