I just can't resist writing Reid fics. I DO plan on updating my other fics like Remember Us and Captured and so forth. I was just rewatching Memoriam and had another dark twisted idea that I couldn't get out of my head.

Prologue

Reid listened to the hypnotherapist's voice as he sank into a supressed memory. Rossi watched,concern and protectevness painted on his face. He didn't know the kid as well as the others but still felt like he had to protect him. It was probably because the kid was so damned young. 27 was too young to work in the FBI as far as he was concerned.

"All right, Reid, what do you see?" The therapist's voice was soft.

Reid found himself in the basement, tied up-next to Riley Jenkins. Riley was still alive; his hands was also tied. Someone was coming. Spencer was gagged so he couldn't say anything. He watched in horror as his best friend was stabbed to death in front of him.

Minutes had gone by. He heard fighting on the stairs. His capture's body had tumbled down it. Another figure emerged.

"It's okay, Spencer." a familiar voice whispered. "It's okay, it's me, dad. You're safe now."

The therapist's eyes widened in fear and shock when Reid's fist tightened. Reid's face twisted in agony and fear. His mouth moved up and down.

Rossi rose from the chair.

"Wake him up!" He demanded as Reid withered on the couch, almost like he was having a fit

"Okay Reid, listen to the sound of my voice. When I count back to 1 you'll awake. 4-" the grip tightened. "3.." Her skin was changing color and Reid continued to go rigid, looking like he was having a seizure. Rossi looked on, worry and anger in his eyes. Anger that he allowed this to happen.

"2, 1" Reid's eyes shot open and he was almost gasping for breath.

"Reid, it's okay!" Rossi raised his voice. "It's okay Reid, it's okay!"

Panic siezed Reid. He couldn't think straight. He felt like he was being choked. He stood up quickly.

"What happened?" Rossi asked breathlessly. Reid swallowed and swallowed again as he shook his head.

"Need air," he gasped and doged out of the room, leaving Rossi and the therapist dumbfounded and confused".

"There's SOMETHING you're not telling me mom!" Reid shouted. As soon as he left he had went to the hospital. He had to get some answers. Mrs. Reid shook her head and rocked back and forth.

"You don't want to know." she whispered. He placed his hand on hers. The skin was cold.

"Please mom...I saw it. I remember it...being tied up." He stared at her, pain eveloping his eyes, a deep sense of despair in them, like waves crashing against the rock. Getting more and more worn by each crash. Getting more and more empty. "I was kidnapped, wasn't I?"

Diana's body changed. A sense of hoplessness swept over her. Her body sagged and shook, her age now showing. The trials of her youth dripping through. The wrinkles more noticable. Her eyes, more tired.

"I thought you were dead," she sobbed. "You were gone and the police was giving up on you." Tears rolled down her cheeks. He wiped them gently, sorrow filling his eyes now. And pain. He wanted so badly to remember, and yet was so afraid.

"Your father was a mess. He was part of the search...he got a lead on our neighbor." More tears fell and she shook her head, and bit her lip. "He...He followed the bastard home, he had talked to you a couple of times in the past. But you always talked to adults more than children. I didn't think anything of it...until you vanished." She hugged Reid, almost violently. "When I couldn't find you...when you went missing a part of me died. I...I couldn't eat, sleep, or think until I got you safely in my arms."

Reid felt like he was drowning. Drowning in information. So much information, like all the cabnet doors being swung open and papers being flung around the room.

He put his hand to his mouth, still not believing what was going on. It was almost all too much.

"He fought him...the man that took you. But it was too late. Riley was already dead. But your father...was so relieved to have found you. But you...you were traumatized, you were in shock when he found you. For a moment he thought you were dead. You were so still, barely breathing. It was then he saw that your clothes had been ripped." An almost moaning wail escaped her lips this time and Reid pressed his eyes closed.

Did he want to hear this.

She looked at him.

"You were traumatized for months, became even more isolated, even more of a recluse. We took you too a child's therapist. It didn't help. Your father knew the Chief of Police and the Chief let him get off on Self defense." Tears were still rolling down her cheeks. Reid just sat there and listened. "So yes, you're father did kill someone...but it was too protect you." She stared at him. "And thank God he did, if he hadn't..." her whole body started to shake. She shook her head ."We have to protect Spencer," she said amd Reid looked concerned.

"Mom?"

"We have to protect him!"She screamed and suddenly started banging her hand against her head. He flew up.

"Somebody help!"

The nurses rushed in as his mother kept sobbing and screaming his name over and over. He pushed himself into a corner and put his hand over his mouth. He sank to the ground as they sedated her.

His body shook. This explained so much. Why children being kidnapped affected him so much. Why that other case affected him.

The nurse looked at him.

"Are you all right?" She helped him to his feet.

"No." His voice was soft. "No I'm not."

Almost in a daze he walked out, tears blinding his sight as he tried to gain what little composure he had left.

He sat outside and rocked on the bench in front of the building back and forth. Trying to force the memories to come back to him, but scared to enter that place again.

He tried to take deep breaths, to stop the panic attack from happening.

He had found out the truth about Riley Jenkins, and about himself.

Now he wished he hadn't.