I was in utter agony. The pain hit every inch, every nook and cranny of my body. Now that I was starting to gain consciousness it was really hitting me, and I couldn't put it off as some dream. My whole body ached with pain when I shifted, especially my ass. Then I felt it, between my legs, was cum, seeping from my insides. But it didn't feel like it had been inside of me for that long, it felt like- "Mello?" I wheezed and flopped my head to look at him. He laid there next to me, un-blinking "Di-did you keep going after I... fell asleep?"

He moved his head stiffly up and down. "I stopped an hour ago." I wonder how many times he came. "I'm going to sleep now."

"Yeah?" I asked, feeling rather happy.

Mello nodded again, "I just have a couple things to ask of you."

"O-of course! Anything!"

"When I wake up have something ready for me to," he swallowed dryly. "eat. Also when you go to sleep I want you to sleep in the bed with me. Not on the couch."

A wave of pain racked my body as I reached an arm around his chest. "Sure thing, Mello." I pulled myself close to him and did my best to move a leg around him. "I think I'm gonna go back to sleep with you." I yawned and looked passed him at the clock. 8:30 A.M. That means he went for about five hours. Not to bad. Mello wrapped an arm gently around my neck making me feel rather content and safe. Is that weird? Before I gave it to much thought, I said "I love you."

"I love you too." his cool hands rubbed circles on my shoulder blade for only a moment before he abruptly stopped, then his eyes closed tight. He's asleep. I smiled and followed his example, letting my eyes flutter shut.

When I finally did wake up. I started with my rituals for when Mello was asleep. Sure I'd have at least two days to get everything done, but what if something happened and he- Well anyway, I always start with taking a bath. Before Mello fell victim to his addiction, I wasn't one for baths. Soaking in your own dirty water doesn't exactly sound great. But then the sex got really violent so it became a necessity to keep up and standing can get kinda hard. Baths really worked to dole bruises... at least for a little while.

I laid the back of my head on the cool wall tile and laid a towel over my forehead. He must of hit me a few more times. My ears began to ring at the thought. "Mgh." I groaned.

It wasn't always like this between us. Mello and I both just went through a rough patch and didn't know where to turn. L and Whammy were dead and then we were kicked out of the orphanage by Roger. Really it wasn't that big of deal, both our parents had left us each quite a sum of money so that wasn't an issue. Still, it was only us, no more bothers and sisters or loving mentors. Then one day Mello came home with some crystal, just to try. "Just this one time to dole some pain." he promised. We both tried it. At first we were both having fun, getting high, having sex, then repeating.

Then I decided I'd had my share and came down. Mello wasn't done though.

He kept going for a few more days. It didn't bother me though, at least not until he raped me. But like I said before, if you just give up and start to enjoy it, it can't really be rape... right? Of course not. After that it wasn't so great. But I remember the first few times he came down after we'd had rough sex. Mello apologized over and over, said he'd never do it again. He made love to me so sweetly, kissed every bruise. Now when he comes down we don't talk about it anymore. I barely have enough time to get to have sex with the real him once before he decides to do another line. I guess I can't really blame him though, he gets so sick without it.

Once I did mention rehab. Mello beat the shit out of me; a black eye, broken wrist, countless bruises and scratches, and a cracked jaw later I got the hint. Never mentioned it to him again. Admittedly, I've thought about calling the cops on him. Maybe I could get that Dr. Drew guy to talk to him? I've seen him on that Celebrity Rehab, he seems like a cool guy. Not like most therapists.

Or maybe I should give up on the dream of living happily ever after with the real Mello? Maybe I should start using again? Or maybe I could end it? No. That's out of the question! Death is what triggered this in the first place. Mello really never was the same after L and Whammy died. It's proof enough can't leave him alone. This thought made my eyes sting with tears. I can't ever leave him! I love him so much.

I sat up in the tub, immediately feeling why that was a bad idea. So I moved onto my slightly less sore knees. "Oh Mello, I don't know how much more I can take of this life." I laid my chin on the cool tub. I should go grocery shopping. I decided, standing up from the tub. The water trickled down my body and I kicked the plug out with my foot. I dressed quickly trying my best not to given in to the temptations of giving up.

Mello still pretty much likes anything chocolate. I thought writing a note to myself to get a box of chocolate donuts and a box of brownies. "Hmm." I sighed, tapping the notepad with my pen. I'll get a few more ready to eat things and then grab some stuff I can make. Maybe I can make him some- Then suddenly, I realized that I was smiling and felt like I was going to see someone I hadn't in years. I kinda am. The smile melted from my face. I ripped the paper off and stuffed it into my pocket.

I really hate shopping. Whenever I go I feel like everyone knows exactly what happened the night before, like why I have the bruises around my neck and the cuts on my lips. They don't have any idea though, right? No way... well maybe one or two of them. The girl who lived next to us for awhile knew. In fact she drove me to the hospital after I mentioned rehab to Mello. Never asked a question and I did the same. Never asked why she had those tiny burns about the size of cigarette on her hands. We both knew what had happened. She moved out of our apartment complex when she got knocked up, though. I hope she's okay.

Every time I think about it, I'm glad I'm a guy so that we can't bring a child into this. Even if I could I think I'd- I'd probably get an abortion. Sure at one point I would've loved to have something part Mello and me but, ya' know? Things changed.

I rushed through the store grabbing all the usual stuff; milk, toilet paper, beer and cigarettes. Some new additions were Mello's things like chocolate everything. Thinking about it now I was starting to realize how occasional Mello's things were getting. First it was about once a week or week and half, now it was about once a month, if that. No, no, no! I had to stop myself from thinking any further. Lucky me my I was distracted by "Will that be cash or credit?"

"Oh, here." I pulled my debit card and gave it to the cashier.

When I got home I laid all the groceries out on the counter before putting them away. Of course, leaving a few choice items out on the counter for Mello to find. For the first time in a long time, I looked around the apartment. "What a sty." Then again it was impossible to clean when Mello was awake. Even now if I made to much noise it'd be my head through the wall. By now you're probably wondering why I'd stay with Mello through all of this.

Sure, there's the obvious that I'm utterly and unconditionally in love with him. But even more so when my parents died and I had to go to Whammy's- Well, I'll start from the beginning.

My parents died in, I guess, very unusual ways. First my mother died of blood cancer, which is pretty rare considering she was only about thirty. I don't remember that much about it though, I was only three. If I'm correct, she didn't make it past a year. Then around six my father was killed, it's another thing I don't remember much about. I do remember when the therapist said I had "repressed memories and emotions" when I was seven. By age seven and a half was when I was finally placed in Whammy's, after finding no living relatives. "Surprising, coming from such a prestigious family." someone said that too. There are only bits and pieces of those seven years that I can remember, until I met Mello.

Like most traumatized kids I really didn't talk or interact with the other kids much. I guess they decided that should change. When I was about eight and a half they made the very social Mello be my roommate. It was only a month before we were attached at the hip... Well, me to him. Yet another thing I just for the life of me can't remember as much as I want to. I wonder if he did or said something to me. Because I followed him everywhere, I only talked to him, and only did anything with him. My earliest memory of Mello is meeting him then the next thing is a few months later when we were outside playing. It must have happened by then because L would always talk about how hard it was for me to go outside and how it took Mello just a few days.

Whatever it was he did, it must of been profound.

I do remember other things he did for me. Like letting me sleep in his bed with him when I felt lonely or giving me a pep talk when I needed it.

"Whatever. I love him and I don't want to leave. Mello was always there for me, so now it's my turn." I walked back to our room. Mello was still sleeping, looking utterly harmless. He was laying mostly on his half of the bed, but his head was on my pillow. My face flushed and I walked over to the bed. First, I slipped out of my clothes before sliding in. My head barely fit on the pillow with him, it didn't bother me. He was breathing calmly, making me feel totally at peace. As long as this is what you want, then I'll be happy. Even if it kills us. As long as we're together, I'll be happy. But... I hope to God you come down.

The End

A/N: Did you guys know that Dr. Drew can sing opera? He's so rad! Anyway, thank you so much to everyone who read and alerted/favorited/reviewed this story. I hope you all liked it! Empty With You is officially dedicated to my friend who is doing her best to get healthy. I love you! Also, if you're interested please vote in my poll to help me decide what story I put up next! Review thank you please!

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or Underoath.