Death the Kid: A High State of Mind

A Grim Reaper and his two weapons, the Thompson sisters, approached the doors of Dr. Franken Stein's Patchwork Laboratory. The younger of the two sisters, Patricia, or Patty for short, shook her older sibling's arm in such a childish manner for a teenager. "Hey sis! Why are we at Mary Shelley's house?" Patty asked in her high pitched voice.

The older girl, Elizabeth, Liz, looked at her sister like the child she was posing as and sighed. "We're here to take Miss Marie to DWMA," she started off, "and this is Professor Stein's laboratory."

Patty opened her mouth and said, "Oh."

Liz eyed the Grim Reaper in front of her, saying, "You've been awfully quiet there, Kid."

He snapped his head to her, as if coming out of a daze. "I'm sorry. I didn't hear you." Patty giggled, putting one hand over her mouth. "I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that says today won't be a normal day…" Death the Kid, the symmetry-obsessed Grim Reaper; son of Death himself, had been silent and not because of his neurotic tendencies. Not because of a gut feeling that the symmetry was off in his house, but because of a gut feeling about the day's normality.

Patty laughed again, louder and more annoying than before, while Liz slightly raised her eyebrows in surprise. 'That's a change of pace. At least he's not having one of his mental melt-downs…' She paused in her thoughts, followed by her making a sour face. 'No, wait Liz. Don't jinx it.' "Don't let it get to you Kid! Maybe the mold count is just high today!" Liz encouraged him.

He stared at her like she was a cat in a dog pin. "In Death City? Liz…" Kid knocked on the large doors and continued, "The only active pollen source this time of year is the ash trees and they've never affected me before because I am a Grim Reaper."

Before the elder of the twin guns could speak, the front door creaked open and a familiar voice shouted, "I'm still getting ready! Come on in for a second!"

Patty jumped up and down excitedly and dragged both Kid and Liz into the strange house. The older sister complained, but the reaper did not for he was too deep in thought. The trio now sat, Patty had dove to the floor after finding a penny, in the living area of the Patchwork Laboratory. Liz watched her little sister while Kid remained silent, observing and resisting every fiber in his being to rearrange the room to fit symmetry's standards. The only reason that he didn't freak out was that the ominous feeling was still looming over him.

A woman with golden blonde hair, known as Marie Mjolnir, rushed into the room, stopped in front of a mirror, and started applying lipstick to her already rosy lips. As the eye patched teacher did this, Liz asked her Meister, "Do you feel any better yet Kid?" He shook his head.

"Unfortunately not," Kid told her.

"What's the matter Kid?" The partners turned their attention to Marie, who was rubbing her lips together and setting down her lipstick.

"I've just got anxiety," he explained his un-symmetry related nervousness. Marie placed both hands on her hips.

"Well there's not much I can do to help…" She crossed her arms and thought. The teacher looked like she came to some sort of revelation as she happily told him, "Maybe I can help." Marie walked across the room and searched through the multiple pill bottles on Stein's desk. Kid stood up and brushed the dust off of his pants so that he could keep an eye on her.

"Ah. Here it is." Marie went back over to Death's son and handed him a pill. He stared at the drug awkwardly. "It's valium," she enlighten him. "Franken just got that bottle a couple of days ago, so they should be alright." Kid looked at Marie, then the pill, and then Marie again. "Don't worry. It'll calm you down." After looking at the pill one last time, he put it in his mouth and swallowed.

Liz pulled up Patty and said, "We need to get going or we'll be late… again."

"RIGHT!" Patty loudly proclaimed after throwing her hand in the air.

And so the meister and his weapon partners took their teacher to school.

Shortly after Marie's arrival, in the teacher's lounge…

"Wow Marie. I was never a man to make fun of people, but I can't believe that you're here early!" Sid the zombie said in surprise.

Marie laughed triumphantly, but quietly, and said, "Just know that it could be this way every day!"

The room of teachers fell silent… and then burst into laughter. While wiping away his tears, Spirit told her, "Oh sure. Every day! Pfft!" The red haired man then doubled over from laughing too hard.

Marie scrunched her lips together in a pout. "Well I would've been here earlier, but I had to give Lord Death's son some valium," she explained.

"Valium?" a monotone voice asked. The laughter died down as Franken Stein rolled in, sitting on his computer chair and turning the giant screw that was through his head.

"Yeah… valium," the golden hair woman replied, "You know… from that one bottle on your desk? I gave some to Kid." Immediately, Stein stopped turning the screw, and stopped moving all together. Spirit waved a hand in front of his former meister's face and the latter swatted it away.

Angrily, the skilled meister hissed, "Marie Mjolnir… Do you know what you've done?" She stepped back, her face full of fear, and shook her head. Stein stood up from his seat. "You gave a Grim Reaper, one of our most powerful students, and son of Death himself, his worst nightmare." He grabbed her shoulders and stared at her menacingly. "Valium is like acid to a Grim Reaper! To them, it's the strongest hallucinative drug, stronger than marijuana or salvia to us…"

Kid sat in-between Patty and Maka, nervously twitching. His sight was blurring as if he were about to fall asleep, but he still felt wide awake. Then, he saw something utterly terrifying out of the corner of his eye.

Kid jumped out of his seat screaming. The teacher looked at him awkwardly. "THERE'S A PINK MONSTER EATING A BUNNY!" Everyone was now staring at the young reaper.

Tsubaki, who was sitting behind him, warily asked, "Uh… Kid? Are you alright?" He looked at her and gasped.

"TSUBAKI! You never told me that you were a cantaloupe!"

Patty added herself to the conversation, "I think he's crazy!" And of course, no conversation is complete without…

"The Great Black Star will heal your wounded head!" The idiot leaped in front of him, making Kid shriek once more. He punched Black Star in the face using most of his Grim Reaper strength, causing the ninja to crash through the westward wall and out of the building. His now limp body had created a large crater in the ground.

The Grim Reaper ran out of the room through the giant hole that he had created. Then he realized that he was falling, so at the last second, he called out his supernatural skateboard, Beelzebub, from the seal on his hand. He flew away from the school grounds madly laughing, but not before making sure to stick his tongue out at Black Star and flip him off.

The students and faculty that witnessed this were very surprised. Why would Lord Death's properly refined son act this way? Surely there was something the matter with him.

Maka, being the suspicious person that she was, began to develop a theory. "I think that the Kishin's insanity wavelength has finally affected Kid," the blonde girl thought aloud.

"If that's the case," her partner, Soul, started, "then I guess we'll have to stop him before he hurts or kills anyone."

Somehow, Black Star heard them and weakly retorted, "What about me? Kid just beat the shit outta me!"

Soul looked out of the hole and down to his barely breathing friend. "I said ANY one Black Star. You have to realize that you are NO one." The ninja quietly started to sob while his mother-like weapon tended to his wounds.

For some reason, Kid had dressed down to only his boxer shorts and was singing Guilty Beauty Love. "I kneel before you~ Kiss your hand to~ Tell you I'm a lucky guy~." He sat cross-legged in a back alleyway, smiling to himself. An old woman passed by the alley and quickly ran after seeing the half naked Grim Reaper. "Look back and know that I can heal your tired heart~!"

Liz and Patty, who had also gone looking for Kid, found him by following his sweet, beautiful, Miyano Mamoru voice. He stopped singing so that he could make a happy kitty face. "Pat! Lizzy!" he exclaimed and glomped them. Liz seemed somewhat frightened and Patty pat Kid's black and white haired head.

"Jesus, Kid! You scared us back there at school," The older one told him.

The Grim Reaper giggled, as he was still glomping the two. "Your girls' chests are incredibly soft…" Patty cracked up and Liz took a swing at him. Even in his high state, Kid was able to dodge. He frowned at her. "NO!" He picked Liz up like she was nothing and threw her into Patty, sending the two girls about five feet back.

"Are you alright?" The sisters weakly looked up to see Maka and Soul running towards them. "What happened?" Soul asked.

Class had resumed in DWMA. Kilik nudged Kim and asked, "Hey, how come Maka, Soul, Liz, and Patty got to go search for Kid, but WE have to stay in class?"

The good witch stopped her work momentarily and stuck out her tongue in thought. Then she replied, "Maybe it's because they're the main protagonists, so they get to do cooler stuff than us?"

Kilik nodded. "Seems right. But that's so unfair."

"…but then he just attacked me!" Liz finished remarkably right after the scene change.

All of the sane four had looked at Kid after Liz's explanation was over and done with. He was standing there like a normal person… that was half naked. He had also started singing again. "Oh no don't tell me they're real~ Yeah I think they're real~ Something else is missing~ Where the heck's my PEN15?" They all immediately had large sweat drops on their heads.

Maka looked to them and said, "I'll try talking it out with him. I know what it's like to be lost in insanity." With that said, she made her way over to Kid. "Hey Kid!" she shouted and waved. He smiled and waved back. Another sweat drop formed.

As she approached him, he said, "Ah. Today is such a lovely sheep. Isn't it?" Not wanting to upset him, she nodded.

"It sure is…" He stared at her and suddenly gasped. "What's wrong Kid?" He picked up her left hand and held it tightly. Soul twitched, controlling himself enough not to get up and punch Lord Death's son.

Kid's cheeks became a childlike rosy color. "I've always though that you were more beautiful than a rhinoceros!" he happily told her. She sheepishly rubbed the back of her head with her free hand.

"Oh, you don't mean that!" Her eyes began trailing off. She shot a look back to the group that said, "He's definitely insane!"

He vigorously nodded. "Yes I do! And I can prove it!"

Maka laughed a little, and then stopped when she noticed a slight change in his position. "What? Kid? WHAT ARE YO-"

It was too late though. She couldn't finish her sentence because her lips her preoccupied with Kid's. Her eyes widened. Something inside Soul snapped, so he ran over and kicked Kid in the balls… repetitively.

"You pervert!" he exclaimed while dealing the final kick. The Reaper lay on the ground; his voice now four octaves higher and his mind blank. Maka wanted to yell at Soul, but remained quiet. He slung the unconscious boy over his shoulders and told her to follow him.

Patty was cheering for Soul, telling him to kick Kid in the nuts again. Instead, while they were all walking back, he would hit Kid's head on the pavement every time he regained consciousness. After this experience, no one would ever let the Grim Reaper have valium ever again.

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Epilogue

Death the Kid woke up in a hospital bed with such an ache in his head. His faithful weapons, Patty and Liz, and Soul were standing at the edge of the bed. While Soul and Liz were conversing about their favorite jazz artists, Patty took notice that Kid was awake. "Kid!" She shouted happily and pounced to the side of the bed. The other two weapons broke their conversation and looked over and greeted Kid, Liz with great enthusiasm.

"What happened?" he warily asked, wondering if he wanted to know the answer, "How long have I been out?" Kid was resisting all of his neurotic urges that threatened him at the moment because it was making his head even more sore.

Liz spoke up first, "You've been in the infirmary for about an hour, but you've been out for maybe three, thanks to Soul." Kid curiously looked at Soul, who was avoiding his gaze by pretending that the reaper's IV tube was mildly interesting.

Patty then told him, "Well today, you took some valium, which it turns out is a big "no-no" for Grim Reapers, you saw an invisible pink monster, beat the spaz outta Black Star, stripped nearly naked, and kissed Maka!"

Kid groaned and covered his face with his hands. "It's all coming back to me…" After lying still for a while, he jolted upright with a huge blush on his face. Liz rushed over to his side next to Patty; Both sisters had anxiety displayed on their face.

Soul, hiding his worry with his cool façade, pat his friend lightly on the back a few times. "You ok?" he asked in his typical indifferent-sounding voice.

Kid shook his head multiple times. "I-I just remembered something else…" The weapons looked at him, wanting to know. "Well, after I left DWMA…"

Kid flew haphazardly on Beelzebub while laughing like Mr. Hide. He saw Chupa Cabra's in the distance and, deciding that it was super shiny and pretty, stopped in front of it. The reaper drew his skateboard back into it's seal as he stumbled into the cabaret. The lady at the service counter looked at him in question.

"Hey boy, what are you doing here?"

Kid smiled at her and truthfully said, "I wanna have fun!" The lady burst out laughing at him to which he started laughing. Although, he was thinking of bagels while laughing…

"Are you even legal?" She asked him as policy. In his high state, the boy nodded. If it meant having fun, then he was totally legal. She waved at him to go in.

Kid shouted in happiness and flopped onto one of the couches. "These mashed potatoes are bacon fried, I'm sure!" he told himself. While he was thinking of more random things, Blair came out of the back room and saw Kid. He was smelling a pillow when he noticed her heading his direction. "Hey! You're Kama and Soul-chan's cat-human, aren't you?"

"Nya! Yes I am!" she said with excitement.

The reaper looked surprised and happy. "Did you come out of there," he pointed to the back room, "to play with me?" Blair nodded. He stood up and grabbed her arm. "Let's go play already then! I wanna have fun!"

The magical cat gave him a sly smile and flirtatiously said, "It looks like someone is ready to have fun." He gave her an expression of sarcasm. She led him to a service room.

Kid was thinking that the door would lead to a magical place- maybe a water park, or a fair? Maybe it would turn out to be Disneyland? Or maybe it lead to a gay vampire and a stupid, sexually repressed girl? He really hoped that it wouldn't be the last option.

Once in the room, all that Kid saw was a bed, a bathroom, and some scented candles. Disappointed, he broke away from her and began searching the room for something hidden… Like beavers! "Blair…. Where are the beavers?" he asked while looking under the bed. He got up, sighed, and sat on the bed.

Since Blair didn't know that Kid was high or Lord Death's son, she assumed that he was being kinky. "Well you have to take off your clothes and open the dam if you want to find the beaver~" She purred while rubbing his chest. Completely oblivious to the innuendo on the word beaver, he agreed, thinking that it made perfect sense.

The Grim Reaper removed his black and white jacket, and then carefully folded it on the floor, still concerned about symmetry. After everything except his white boxers were off, he sat the skull tie on top of the pile and made sure that it was perfectly in the center. He turned to Blair, who was sprawled on the bed. "Now where is the dam we need to open?" he innocently asked.

The lady at the front, Arisa, was lazily flipping through a Victoria's Secret catalog. "Business is slow without Mr. Albarn here-" She was interrupted by a terrified scream and crash.

"THAT'S NOT A BEAVER!" Shortly after the yell, she heard another crashing noise.

Arisa ran into the service room where Blair and Kid were. She saw that Blair was barely clothed, but enough to know that she hadn't done her job yet; A side table that had been knocked over; And a broken window. "What happened?" Arisa asked her coworker.

Blair shrugged. "All I did was show him my vagina and he flipped out and ran out crying… I don't understand, nya!"

Everyone in the room was deathly quiet, except for Patty, who was laughing her ass off. Soul and Liz were both holding back laughter to save Kid from anymore humility. The young reaper, once again, had his face in his hands to hide his growing blush. "How could I do something so noxious?" he mumbled, embarrassed, "I knew that today was going to be a bad day..."

Liz rubbed his back sympathetically. "Oh, don't worry. It wasn't that bad," she said with a smile crooked from containing laughter. How wrong Liz knew she was...

Kid brought his head up and scanned the room. "Where are Maka, Black Star, and Tsubaki?" he curiously asked. Though, he was more concerned about the first person. He had confessed to her, and on that note things needed to be cleared up.

"They're all over at Black Star's place," Soul said, irritated that he hadn't gone with them in the first place. "We can go when you're ready."

Kid nodded and, while getting out of the hospital bed, said, "I'm ready if you are."

Patty jumped up and hollered, "ALL RIGHT!" She grabbed the two weapons and her meister by the collars of their shirts and drug them all the way to the ninja's house.

End~