Disclaimer: I no own.

Contains graphic yaoi lemon, incest (LouiexIan), and a giant box. R&R!

Ian was leaned back in his chair at the back of Barton Boutique with his feet propped up against the desk, reading the latest copy of Gaia Weekly. A knock came at the door. He looked up. "Yeah?"

"Let me in! It's Lance," came the muffled reply. Ian sprang up and let the delivery guy in.

"Got a big ol' package for ya, Ian!" Personally, the shopkeeper wondered why Lance said things like that constantly. He wasn't Devin, and he wasn't about to nosebleed all over the floor- he had just mopped, after all. The box in question was in fact so huge that Lance had left it on the doorstep. It took both men to lift it up and carry it inside. They paused for breath in the middle of the shop, then brought it into the back, next to Ian's desk.

"Whew! Thanks, Lance. Bye!" Lance grinned and left. Ian contemplated the giant box and was surprised to see that it had air holes. He shrugged and lifted the lid.

"SURPRISE!" Ian leapt back as his brother Louie burst out of the package like an overlarge, deranged jack-in-the-box.

"Louie! What the sh- scare the ever-loving crap out of me, why don't you?"

Louie giggled and clapped his hands. "Tee hee! That was fun! I really scared you, didn't I, Dami-Wami?"

"Damian, Louie. It's Damian. Or Ian. Not Dami-Wami. What are you doing here?"

"I brought you a present, Dami-Wa- I mean, Ian!"

"Really? What is it?"

"Look in the box!"

Ian went over and lifted one of the flaps. Louie leaned his head on his brother's shoulder. Ian turned to face him. "Ahem."

"Sorry."

He turned his attention back to the box. He lifted the other flap and looked in. The box was filled to the brim with...

"Lemons. These are lemons, Louie." He took one out and examined it. "Lemons with the word Yaoi written on them. In Sharpie." He dug deeper into the box. "And this. What is this?" He brought out what appeared to be a wooden ball with the word Incest written on it. "Why did you bring me a box full of lemons?"

Suddenly one of the lemons stood up and stabbed another lemon. Lemon juice and pulp squirted all over the place. The other lemons screamed. Ian screeched like train brakes and wiped his eyes furiously. "What the hell was that?"

Louie replied, "Oh, that? That was just some graphic lemon."

Tee hee, geddit? Graphic yaoi lemon and incest? Heh. Why do they even call it lemon, anyway? Hate me if you want. That was purely for my own amusement.

Louie: *pops out of nowhere* WAIT! YOU FORGOT SOMETHING! *digs around in the box*

The author: Louie, what have I told you about using all caps? It hurts my virtual ears!

Ian: *is present for some reason* Wait, how is that even possible? And where are we?

Captain Kirk: I'm here for no apparent reason! WORSHIP ME! *vanishes in a puff of purple smoke*

Louie: There! I found it! *brings out a giant X and places it between him and his brother* Tee hee! *vanishes*

Ian: Oy vey. *vanishes*

The author: *eats a kumquat* Toodles! *vanishes*