A/N:

YAOI OTP.

3

SUISAI 3333

Weird pairing, I know, but I love them together. I can't remember why, but I do. Anyway, I'm not actually sure if this IS au? It is unless they have sleazy motels and heavy drinking in Naruto. Which they might, after all, it's one craaaaaaaaazy manga.

This was going to be porn but I couldn't do it lol XD I need to be pretty drunk to write it, assuming I can even write smut again O:

Anyway, Enjoy!

-/-

Suigetsu sat at scratched table in a hazy room. Some guy crooned away into a faulty microphone on the stage as he plucked at a cheap guitar. The white haired man kept his gaze firmly held on the entrance, telling himself that the next person to come through that door would be the person he was waiting for. The door creaked open, and Suigetsu looked away quickly. He didn't want to let on that he'd been at the dingy motel for hours, but when he looked up, it was just some woman that had walked in. He sighed and pulled out a lighter and a packet of cigarettes. May as well try and calm himself down as he waited. Putting the cigarette in his mouth, Suigetsu clicked the lighter and sucked in the weak flame before pocketing it with a sigh. He breathed out a cloud of smoke and continued to wait.

Finally, after over two hours and five cigarettes, the door swung open again. Suigetsu stubbed out his sixth cigarette in the stained ash tray and glared at the man that was walking to his table. All the smoking had just made him more irritated, and considering that he had been waiting for a total of five and a half hours, it was understandable. He could have left, and they could have met up another time... but Suigetsu couldn't leave. He just couldn't.

"Hello" His companion said with a polite smile, sitting himself down opposite Suigetsu.

"How fucking late?"

"Sorry."

Suigetsu glared at the smiling man in front of him with violet eyes, as if he was daring him to smile again. 'Fuck it.' He thought, and pulled out another cigarette. He fought a smirk as his companion looked on disapprovingly, nose wrinkling in slight disgust as he blew out a stream of smoke.

"Sai, if we're going to keep meeting up like this..." He took a long drag of the cigarette. "... then you could at least be on time"

Sai shrugged, his face cold and expressionless. "I didn't know it bothered you so much."

"Well excuse me for actually giving a crap about this" He hissed before taking another drag of the cigarette, then flicking the ash onto the table. "Seeing as you clearly don't care, what's the point?"

The brunette looked around until he saw the waitress. He held up two fingers and she nodded, filling two cracked glasses with cloudy beer. Suigetsu let his cigarette hang on his lip for a moment as the beers were brought to the table. Sai lifted his glass and took a sip, looking slightly disappointed at the taste.

"I do care, Suigetsu" He said, voice monotonous and jaded.

"For two years, since we were seventeen." Suigetsu grunted, removing his cigarette and gulping his drink. "You'd think you'd actually show that you cared, since you claim that you do"

"It's hard for me to get so involved in this" Sai reached out for Suigetsu's hand, but the other teen withdrew his arm from the table, scowling.

"If it's so hard then why do you bother?"

"I don't know."

Suigetsu flashed a sharp-toothed grin. "You don' know?" He laughed. "You don't know? You know what, Sai? Fuck it."

Sai didn't protest as his companion drained the last of his beer, slammed the glass back down on the table and stood up. He took one final, long drag of his cigarette and stubbed it out on the table before dropping it into the bottom of his beer glass. Suigetsu looked down at Sai, his lip quivering a little. But instead of saying anything, he clenched his jaw and slammed his fist down on the table, causing Sai's beer glass to wobble and a little of the vile drink to drip down the sides and onto the table. Suigetsu left without another word. He walked out of a side door and up the stairs to the room, which five hours ago he'd been expecting to be kissing Sai in. Once he was inside, he collapsed onto the creaky bed and screamed into the itchy pillow. The light flickered a little, and Suigetsu groaned as he lay face down on the bed.

"Suigetsu?"

Suigetsu grunted, opening his eyes for a moment and then squeezing them shut again. He'd drifted off into a somewhat peaceful sleep, and disliked that he had been awoken by Sai's patronizing voice in his ear. He turned round and propped himself up on his elbow, and the grabbed Sai's wrist as the teen went to put a pale hand on his shoulder.

"Why are you here?" He hissed.

"I sat down there for three hours. I thought you'd come back after you calmed down."

"Why?"

"Because if you came down and I'd left, you'd shout at me again."

Suigetsu tensed his jaw, lip curling. "You don't actually give two shits about me, do you? I'm just a convenient method to relieve your hormones, right?"

Sai shrugged, withdrawing his hand and gazing down. "I wish you understood"

"Understood what? That I'm nothing but a sex toy to you? I understand that."

"It's not like that at all."

Sai looked up and met Suigetsu's glare. Suigetsu had expected to see something in his eyes; to see regret, sorrow, even just a hint of an apologetic heart. But he saw nothing. There was no emotion in Sai's eyes, just a blank, soulless stare. That scared him. Eyes should be like a window into someone's mind, not just a blank canvas. That's what Sai was – a blank canvas. But Suigetsu had given up hope of ever being able to make a mark on that canvas.

"Don't hate me, Suigetsu." The brunette sighed, scratching the back of his head. "I wish I could feel what you feel. But I can't"

"I would think that even a coffin of a person like you could care about others."

"I want to care" Sai put a hand on Suigetsu's cheek, extracting a snarl from the other boy. "I really do. But I can't. That's why being late doesn't bother me. It doesn't seem like a bit deal to me."

"Well, it's a big deal to me" Suigetsu grabbed Sai's wrist again, holding the pale arm in a vice-like grip. "If you want to care, why don't you make any effort? Can't you understand how hard it is to love someone who can't even care about you?"

"You love me?"

"Yes, I fucking love you." He raised his eyebrows. "Or is that something too difficult for you to comprehend?"

"It's not too difficult"

"Then I can assume you don't love me back?"

"I want to, Suigetsu" Sai placed his other hand on the other male's cheek. "I really do"

"Then try"

Suigetsu flipped his white hair from his face and lifted his arm, putting it around Sai's neck. He clasped his fingers on the brunette's head and pulled him down into a rough kiss. He opened his mouth almost immediately, biting down gently with his sharp teeth. He heard Sai moan as his tongue invaded his mouth, pushing Sai's back and taking full control. Sai's hands slipped around his neck and pulled him into a sitting position and moved himself closer. He swung his leg over Suigetsu's and straddled his hips, moving his hands downwards to unzip his companion's jeans. As his fingers took hold of the cold metal, Suigetsu roughly pushed him off and onto the floor with a thump. Sai sat, gasping a little as the other teen stood up and glared down with an almost murderous expression.

"Did that hurt?" Suigetsu snarled.

"Yes."

"Nice to know you can actually feel something then, even if it's just physical."

"Of course I can feel physical pain."

"Why do you do this to me, Sai?"

"What?"

Suigetsu sighed, putting a hand on his forehead in irritation. "You must know that I have feelings for you. So why do you keep fucking teasing me like this?"

"I don't know." The brunette stood up and sat down onto the bed as Suigetsu turned around to watch his every move. "But for some reason every time we meet up, after I've left all I want to do is come back again."

The white-haired teen frowned, pulling out his lighter and yet another cigarette. "Stop trying to placate me. Don't pretend you actually feel that way"

Sai watched wordlessly as Suigetsu inhaled and blew out a cloud of smoke, forming a hazy barrier between the two boys. "I'm not trying to placate you. If it had been Naruto or anyone who had pushed me, I would have hit them back. But I don't want to hit you. It's as if just being near you makes me more... relaxed. I don't know what that feeling is, but it might make you feel a little better to know that I am experiencing it."

Suigetsu laughed, smoke escaping from his jaw like he was some kind of dragon. "You don't know what that is?"

"No. I'm sorry."

"That's love, idiot."

Sai smiled. Suigetsu loved his smile; Sai could put on a very convincing fake smile when he wanted to get out of an awkward situation, but this one was real. What little emotion Sai possessed could be conveyed through his tiny smile. Suigetsu responded by flashing Sai one of his large, sharp-toothed grins, and jammed his half-finished cigarette – now unneeded – into the ash tray on the bedside table. He sat down on the creaking bed next to his lover and looked at him, as if he was expecting a reaction.

"That's love?" Sai said blankly.

"I think so. That's how I feel about you – whenever I'm not with you all I want to do is be with you"

Sai smiled and took Suigetsu's hands, leaning over to kiss him gently on the lips. Suigetsu responded eagerly, opening his mouth and sliding his hands around Sai's waist to pull him onto his lap, still locked in a kiss. Sai slid his tongue into his companion's mouth, deepening the kiss as his hands moved to the top of Suigetsu's chest to unbutton his shirt. His hands moved quickly, rapidly ripping the shirt off and tossing it aside. He wrapped his arms around Suigetsu's neck and the white-haired teen reciprocated the clothing-removal gesture and after five minutes of hands working frantically, all the while trying to maintain the intense kiss, the two boys had managed to strip down to their underwear.

"I still don't know if this really is love... I've never known how to love"

Suigetsu kissed Sai's pale neck, nibbling gently on his skin. "You'll have to learn someday"

"And you'll teach me?"

The white-haired teenager lifted his head and locked eyes with his lover. When they had started getting together, Suigetsu would never had guessed it would end up like this. It had started out as purely physical, nothing more than kissing and sex. Somewhere down the line, Suigetsu had fallen in love, and now Sai wanted to fall in love as well. Sai smiled and leant forward, kissing his companion tenderly on the lips.

"I don't know if I can teach you" Suigetsu gulped. "But I can show you"

"Then show me" Sai's voice dropped to a whisper, and he placed his hands softly on his lover's neck.

The brunette smiled wider than usual as Suigetsu wrapped his lightly tanned arms around Sai's waist, an oddly calm expression on his usually very expressive face. The two fell, entwined, onto the rough bed. The old mattress creaked in protest but the two boys totally ignored it, tongues invading each other's mouths with renewed passion and lust. Only now it was different. Suigetsu had no worries of wondering if Sai would be there when he awoke in the morning; no worries of wondering whether or not Sai would moan out his name as he climaxed or just staying silent – usually it was the latter. But this time it was different. One of Sai's hands tangled its delicate fingers in Suigetsu's soft blue-and-white hair while the other reached out to the side of the two, fingers interlocked with his lover's fingers. The brunette boy's back curved inwards so that he was pressed close to Suigetsu, who held him near with a strong arm.

"How am I doing?" Sai said, pulling away from the kiss with a pant.

Suigetsu chuckled. "Good. It's not about lust this time"

"It's not?"

"No. This is different. The fact that you pulled away to check proves that. And I can almost guarantee that if I said I wanted to stop, you'd stop; but you'd still stay"

"You want to stop?"

"Never" Suigetsu moved both of his hands to cup Sai's cheeks. "I love you"

Violet eyes locked with chestnut ones, with neither of the eyes able to look away. Sai's lips parted, but not so much as a whisper came out. Suigetsu knew that it was most likely too soon for Sai to reciprocate that phrase, but he had hoped. The brunette's half-lidded eyes opened widely, and the corners of his mouth curved upwards into a shy smile unlike his other smiles. Sai had always had real and fake smiles, but this was even more different than the others. It was an innocent, childish smile. Like he had just discovered something new, something exciting.

"Are you alright, Sai... your smile..."

Sai pressed a finger to Suigetsu's lips. "Shh... I love you."

"You're learning fast" The other teen muttered.

"Is that good?"

"It always is"

Sai fell sideways onto the bed with a bounce, and wrapped his arms around Suigetsu, laying his head on his companion's chest and closing his eyes with content. Suigetsu grinned, and put one arm around his lover's pale shoulders and stroked his cheek with his other hand. The lust was fading now, but it was being replaced by something more intense. It was being replaced by love – something Suigetsu never thought he'd have with Sai. He thought their entire relationship would just be random, exciting bursts of kissing and spontaneous sex. But now it wasn't.

It was love.

And that was even more exciting.