Hello again! I thought for once maybe I'd try a chapter fic, and since I seem to enjoy this couple I'll go with them.

This was randomly inspired at three o'clock in the morning by the song All Or Nothing by Theory of a Deadman. I listened to it for an hour straight and developed this in my mind, haha.

Rated M for later chapters.

BoyxBoy love warning, don't like, don't read, kay? I know haters are gonna hate, but don't hate here.

Enjoy, my fellow literature lovers.

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His thin, pale hands curled into the blunette's short, ruffled locks of hair, green eyes daringly locking with the icy blue orbs that stared him down. They searched within his own eyes as if it was the only thing that kept them open, the only thing that kept the other man alive. Once again, the two hadn't been able to resist the touch they provided to each other, the enticing feeling they obtained when their hands traced one another's bodies, when their lips would meet in a fiery passion.

But the taller man never stayed for long afterward, and Ulquiorra would once again be left alone. He would revel in the feeling being beside Grimmjow gave him, however, for that brief time that the other man stared into his eyes, searching for something Ulquiorra didn't understand. But it seemed that he couldn't find it—he never could—and he wished he knew what the man was looking so determinedly for. With a grunt, the cat like man sat up, forcing the slim male beside him to let go of his hair, and he stood, putting on his clothes slowly… almost as if he was waiting for something.

But Ulquiorra couldn't fathom what.

He never could.

He watched Grimmjow turn back to him, now clothed, and once more he stared—and it confused the black haired man. The sixth Espada never stayed this long, he never gave him a second glance once clothed, and would act as if nothing had happened between them for days, until the urge overcame him again. He watched as Grimmjow took a step towards him, his mouth opening as if he had something to say, but it closed again in seconds, and his alluring icy eyes shifted away.

Ulquiorra wanted to say something, anything, to make that gaze return to him. He didn't know why he felt the way he did—it was just another thing about Grimmjow he didn't understand.

The blue haired man turned away, walking more slowly than he normally would towards the door. And as he touched the handle he paused, turning his head to look at his rival again.

"This…." He trailed off as quick as he began, taking a deep breath. "This can't…. it can't keep happening."

Ulquiorra's heart pounded, just once, just a millisecond of unrecognized fear, and he sat up in bed, staring at Grimmjow with slightly wider eyes. What was wrong with what they did? It gave them pleasure, wasn't that all that mattered?

His voice the same tone as he always used, his eyes showing nothing more than normal, Ulquiorra frowned as he spoke. "It can't?"

Grimmjow's eyes were dark as he replied, his voice low and stoic—and Ulquiorra missed his loud, brash and violent cat man.

"What are you afraid of?" Ulquiorra questioned, sensing the other Hollow's fear, however slight.

Grimmjow turned the doors handle, opening the door.

"This never happened."

With that the brash man left, nearly slamming the door behind him, and Ulquiorra suddenly felt absolutely alone.

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The morning came and passed slowly for the fourth Espada, taking food to the human had been brutal—he'd never noticed how close her room was to Grimmjow's quarters. He didn't understand why this bothered him as much as it did, but the nagging feeling somewhere in the hollow of his chest just wouldn't leave him be. His chest ached, and he didn't know why—he didn't know much lately, it seemed. Everything that involved the lower ranked Espada baffled him, shocked him, and seemed to bind him in place. The same place, always the same—a lonely space where he wished Grimmjow would appear beside him. A yearning he couldn't suppress.

He pressed his palm to his forehead, willing his thoughts to go away, to leave him be and allow him to get through today.

He shouldn't have to worry about Grimmjow… the man couldn't have meant what he'd said. Of course it happened, and it would happen again.

Wouldn't it?

He closed his vivid green eyes, confusion overwhelming the small Arrancar, swirling in his mind like mist, blurring his thoughts and corroding his feelings. Everything in his mind had seemed to move to one object, one objective. As if his world only revolved around that thought.

'What was he looking for?'

Ulquiorra had always wondered why Grimmjow searched his eyes like he did, always wondered what the man was searching for—but he couldn't fathom what it could possibly ever be. Eyes were eyes; there was nothing to look for in them. But when the cat man stared so intently into Ulquiorra's green orbs the smaller man couldn't help his racing heart, his spinning mind, and his eyes stared back without question. Though meaningless, Grimmjow's eyes were enticing to him, so blue—icy. He'd studied them many a night, as he watched them search.

The raven haired man growled at himself, there was no need to be bothered by something like this; he'd even gone as far as giving the human reason to question him. She said he looked as if he were in pain, and asked if he needed to be healed. Ulquiorra had glared at the girl, and threatened that he'd kill her in a heartbeat if she ever asked such a ridiculous question to him again.

"You seem troubled, growling to yourself like that." Ulquiorra shifted, turning his head to glance at the intruder, and grimaced as he recognized Nnoitra. "What? Your human toy get taken away?"

"Leave, Nnoitra." Ulquiorra replied, blunt and uncaring.

The fifth Espada laughed cruelly, his one eye crinkling as he grinned his normal grin. "Man, you're no fun, Ulquiorra. No wonder Grimmjow can't stand you."

Ulquiorra turned away, his eyes now wide, his heart hammering, his body beginning to quake.

"Ne, Ulquiorra, are you shaking? Do I scare you? Haha! To think, the fourth Espada quakes before me, like a sniveling dog!" Nnoitra chided, for once able to tease the raven haired superior like he did everyone else.

Ulquiorra glared, anger flowing through him, and he snarled viciously. "He can't stand you, either, Nnoitra. For obvious reasons." With that, the fourth Espada turned back towards the tall, spoon-headed man, his eyes shadows beneath his bangs as he raised his foot, and before Nnoitra could find the control in his arms to block the unexpected violence he sent the taller man flying. "Don't mention not being liked until you look at yourself in a mirror. Then you'll see someone to be disliked."

The green eyed Arrancar turned and continued down the hall, his mind still troubled and his heart still aching. Behind him, Nnoitra lay in a heap of rubble that had once been a wall, caught in the sudden wave of unexpected violence from his usually calm superior. But Ulquiorra didn't look back at what he'd done, for what he didn't see didn't exist—and if he didn't see the proof that he'd lost control, then it never happened. He never lost control from six simple words.

Six.

He hadn't lost control over Grimmjow.

Then why did it hurt so much to deny it?

Why couldn't he see what the blue haired male had wanted? Ulquiorra couldn't see it, but Grimmjow tried to, the other male tried to see something in his jade green orbs, something…

Could something really be missing from his eyes? Something Grimmjow wanted?

Ulquiorra sighed, a few halls away from the rubble now, and he rested his back against the cool concrete. He placed his palm on his forehead once again, the pain had begun to return. Why couldn't he understand what the other man wanted so badly? Badly enough that he would give up something that gave him pleasure because he couldn't find it?

'What am I missing? Why is it so important?' he opened his jade green eyes again slowly, staring intently at the white floor as he contemplated what it could be. 'Why…. Why do I care so much? Trash is trash.'

His eyes widened, and his slit pupils thinned further.

Grimmjow wasn't trash to him. He wasn't something to throw away.

He wasn't something expendable.

Why was he so important?

Ulquiorra sighed, his eyes closing.

"I don't understand…"

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There it is! I'm looking forward to writing the next chapter, but don't think it'll come too quickly… I work, you know. So even though school is out my job still keeps me busy. I shouldn't have even been up at three AM last night, since I worked today, but I had to at least start this.

I hope you enjoyed. Please leave a review to tell me what you think thus far, I'd appreciate it!

Peace,

W.A.R