The Toad Always Bounces Back...

Toad felt a shiver of anticipation run up his spine.

This was it, probably the best chance he'd ever get to avenge himself on the Wind Bitch. Mortimer sighed, Storm had left the safety of the mansion for a few days, but just like the pretty, rich 'I-can-pass-for-human' mutant she was, she'd checked into the swankiest hotel in town. No dirty, cramped flats or dingy dives for the Weather Goddess, this place turned away regular humans with more money than Mortimer Toynbee had ever seen in his life, which, honestly, wasn't much. And the place was well guarded, couldn't have poor people cluttering up the place, could we now? How much less a green, warty mutant wanted on some heavy terrorism charges? But he had advantages himself, and he intended to use them.

He looked around the darkening street before swiftly leaping onto the first balcony. By some miraculous combination of empty apartments, well-placed balconies with large, concealing plants and dark corners, and, of course, his own mutant climbing abilities, he finally reached his goal... Years as a thief and break-in artist made it easy for Mortimer to slip silently into the apartment, and he shook his head in disgust at the almost royal finery surrounding him. Silk and satin sheets and pillows on a very soft looking bed, a huge wardrobe, expensive carpeting... even the massive, artistically tiled bathroom was by far better than most of the flats he'd ever slept in. He grinned, she'd went shopping, just as she had every day since checking in, and would be gone for hours...

Plenty of time to finish his work here.

...

Storm returned to the Royale exhausted, having embarked on a near seven-hour shopping spree. Nothing frivolous, of course, just a few things for her garden back at the mansion, a few new dresses, O.K., maybe the Gucci purse had been a bit much, but it matched those wonderful shoes! She gracefully swept into her room, tipping the bellhop for the many bags he had carried, and carefully set everything away before collapsing into the plush comfort of her bed.

...

Toad hunched slightly, sinking deeper into his warm leather jacket, and smiled as Storm's apartment went dark. The small mutant stood in the shadows of a nearby alley, the cleanest alley he'd ever seen.

Can't have the likes of Miss. Munroe passing a dirty alley, now can we?

His thoughts drifted back to that terrible night; hanging desperately from the railing of the Statue of Liberty by his tongue, the whore making a truly lame joke about toads getting hit by lightning before hitting him with a jolt that would have killed most mutants, even though he'd been completely helpless at the time. He'd have shown her no mercy if she'd been helpless, true, but this was different. He was proud to be branded a criminal, a terrorist even, by the Flat-scans, he was expected to be the 'bad guy', but Storm was supposed to be the 'good' little mutie, the hero... Do heroes kick a guy when he's down?

She sure had, with a vengeance.

The pain, it had nearly killed him in itself... Not to mention the humiliation. He'd survived the blast, dazed, burnt and confused, but the river would have finished him had not that passing human, a human! spotted him and pulled him out before he could drown. (How the hell he'd got close enough to shore for someone to swim out and save him he never did figure out.) Mortimer managed to limp away as the man was calling for an ambulance, obviously unaware that he'd just saved the life of a mutant terrorist who, under other circumstances, would have probably killed him. And the ambulance would bring police, after which Mortimer could only pray they'd have the mercy to shoot him before the government interrogators could get to him.

He shook slightly, bringing himself back to the present. He still had minor tremors and twitches, damage from the lightning bolt. Time and help from sympathetic mutant healers had fixed much of the damage, but they couldn't heal all of the injuries he'd sustained. Mortimer Toynbee, despite his lack of any kind of religious ideals, thanked God they'd been able to heal the burns on his face, mouth, throat and tongue... This was his revenge, if only in a small way.

He laughed softly and waited for dawn.

...

Storm stepped into the shower, her long white hair contrasting against her dark chocolate skin. She blindly reached for her shampoo, a new brand, direct from France. It was heavy and smelled a bit strange, but it was expensive. She didn't even look as she massaged it into her lovely white hair...

...

Mortimer was expecting some kind of outburst, but half the windows in the Royale shattering at once wasn't one of them. He jumped a good thirty feet, landing gracefully in time to hear a scream of utter outrage, to see small bursts of lightning fly from Storm's apartment.

"Try passin' fer human now, bitch."

He grinned an outrageously huge grin and hopped away, cackling loudly.

...

"When I catch that little monster, I'll rip out his tongue and strangle him with it!"

She heard a snicker in the background, but Wolverine had the good sense to hide his amusement under Storm's glare, "No, first I'll castrate him, assuming there's anything there, then I'll..."

"Storm." Xavier shook his head lightly, "We shouldn't go after someone just for revenge. Especially for a petty joke. If we find Mr. Toynbee, we'll let the authorities deal with him."

"Petty! You call this petty!" Storm gestured toward the ruined remains of her once long, lustrous hair. So much had been fouled by Toad's slime, forcing them to cut it away, not to mention the fact that they'd had to literally wax her hands to get what hair they couldn't remove by other means.

"It's not so bad," Wolverine couldn't resist a chuckle, "You could get some punk gear and..."

The lightning bolt hit Logan square in the chest, knocking him through the wall of Xavier's office and into the hallway, nearly bowling over an unusually pale Bobby Drake. Drake looked at the stunned Wolverine and swallowed heavily, "Professor, maybe you should tell her..."

Xavier shook his head and sighed as he looked into Bobby's mind, seeing what he had just seen, before Bobby wisely fled as fast as possible.

"Storm... I..." For the first time, Xavier actually felt a little fear of his student. "Some of the students were... searching the internet...and..."

...

Toad lay back in his current lair, an old, abandoned subway tunnel, and set aside his laptop. He smiled, the climb had definitely been worth it.

The End?

Toad was the only good thing about that wretched movie. I hope he survived... Ray Park kicks serious butt!

Forget the vampires and werewolves, I say: TEAM TOAD!

Stalker!Toad, slime, Storm, the shower and spy cams. A truly dangerous combination...

I do not endorse the use of spy cams, it's a terrible invasion of privacy, disgusting, cruel, illegal and immoral. Unless the victim is a self-righteous Weather Witch who struck you with a bolt of lightning and left you to die in the cold, cold water...

It was a really, really lame joke, "What happens to a Toad that gets struck by lightning?" The scriptwriter, and the director should be slapped for that line. It ruined the whole movie for me!

Toad, Storm and the others belong to Marvel Comics

Ray Park belongs to Ray Park and God

Gucci belongs to... I guess some family named Gucci.