HEEEEEEEY. I wrote a oneshot. Now, I know I should be working on To Love an Android, but I saw an episode of MTV's The Real World (shoot me plz) and they went barhopping, so I got this idea.

USUK SUBLIMINAL MESSAGING FTW.

Hetalia's not mine, silly.

Three teens sat on stool chairs by the bar counter. Two of them were half-buzzed, scoping out the girls-and guys- that walked by. The last one sat there idly, twiddling his thumbs and quietly sipping his non-alcoholic drink. He was, quite obviously, a first-timer to that drinking establishment. Actually, any drinking establishment.

"Aw, come on, Kiku! You've barely said anything all night!" A blue-eyed blonde with glasses and a bright smile slapped his friend on the back. Quite obviously, he was American. The other guy, an albino with red eyes and a German accent (though, oddly, he liked to call it 'Prussian') agreed. "Yeah, Kiku, seriously! How about you get out there and pick up a guy or two?"

The last, a Japanese boy with black hair and brown eyes, sighed for the fifth time that night. "I'm sorry, Alfred-san, Gilbert-san, but I'm just not interested in finding anyone… Especially not at a bar…"

The two exchanged unimpressed glances before going back to Kiku. The American, Alfred, grinned, showing that he had an idea. "I've got it!"

"You've got what? The ability to read the mood?" The 'Prussian', Gilbert joked. Alfred sent a half-hearted glare his way before returning his attention to Kiku.

"No… We'll show Kiku it's not that hard to pick up dates!" He declared.

"Whoa! That's actually a pretty good idea, Al!"

Kiku stared at his friends. Why were they his friends again?

"Alright, since I'm awesome, I'll go first!" Gilbert shouted. Alfred whined, "But it was MY idea!"

"Who cares? I already found my target!" And with that, Gilbert got up from his seat and walked over to a brunette girl, who had a pink flower barrette in her waist-long hair. As he talked to her, he smirked every now and again, causing a bright pink to flush across her smooth features.

He walked back triumphantly, waving a little piece of paper in his hand. "I got her number, suckers!"

Alfred gave Gilbert a small applause. "Nice job, Gil. What was her name?"

"Elizabeta Herder-whatever. Some Hungarian chick. Score for me!"

"I-It's not polite to call a woman a chick, Gilbert-san…" Kiku interjected. The two only laughed.

"Alright, if Kiku's not into gals, then we'll just do a guy! Alfred?"

"Awesome! It's the hero's turn now!"

They both rolled their eyes at that, but Alfred was too busy scanning the crowd to notice. Finally, his blue eyes found a suitable target. "Damn, he's hot! See ya guys later!" He got up and rushed towards his victim.

"Who was he talking about?"

"Ooh! That kid over there!" Kiku looked to where Gilbert was pointing. Alfred had run up to another blonde boy, though he had green eyes. He was just a bit shorter than Alfred, though he carried an aura of maturity with him. His eyebrows were the only turn-off, though Alfred seemed to love them. Their conversation consisted of 'heroic' grins, cute blushes, and what looked to be embarrassing comments. Alfred returned with a bigger grin than usual. He answered his friend's questions before they could even ask.

"His name's Arthur Kirkland! He's an exchange student from the U.K. and he's freaking hot."

"We knew the last part already," laughed Gilbert, "did you get his number?"

"AND his address." He smirked. Kiku applauded quietly.

"That was impressive, Alfred-san…"

Gilbert waved his hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah. Anyway, it's YOUR turn, Kiku."

"M-M-My turn? B-But…"

"Don't worry," said Alfred, "just find someone!"

Gilbert hummed. "Someone's impatient."

"I told Arthur to meet me here in like, twenty minutes."

"… Wow."

Kiku sighed again, giving up on trying to reason with them and looked around the bar. There was really no one he felt attracted to… Then his eyes landed on a certain man.

He had curly, shoulder-length hair and teal, practically green eyes. He looked to be half-asleep. Kiku blushed and quickly looked away.

"Did you find anyone?" Gilbert asked. He, unfortunately, found the same guy Kiku had been looking at. "What about that guy? He looks easy!" Without room for a rebuttal, Kiku was shoved towards the man.

"Good luck, Ki-ki!" he whispered teasingly before rushing back to their original spot. Both he and Alfred flashed him a thumbs-up. Kiku gulped and turned to face the man…

… Who was staring right at him. Kiku jumped and yelped at the same time.

"… Are you alright…?" The man asked. He had a Greek accent.

"I-I-I'm f-f-fine, a-arigatou!" Crap. He'd just spoken in his native language. He only did that when he was nervous.

The man stared for about three seconds. "… You're Japanese?"

"Y-Yeah…"

"W-Watashi wa Nippon no neko ga suki…?"

Kiku blinked.

"Really? You love Japanese cats…?"

"Erm… I m-meant to say culture…"

"Oh, that's watashi wa Nippon no bunka o aishi."

The man smiled, and Kiku felt his heart melt. "… I'm Heracles. Heracles Karpusi."

"I'm Kiku Honda."

Talking to Heracles was… really easy, actually. At the end of their conversation (Heracles' friend had gotten really drunk so he had to take him home) Kiku had given him his phone number and Heracles returned the favor. He headed back to where his friends were waiting.

Gilbert waved excitedly, grinning presumably at the small piece of paper in Kiku's hand. Alfred was…

He was making out with Arthur… Both blondes didn't care to register the presence of the other bar patrons; they were too busy snogging to care. Kiku blushed and directed his attention to Gilbert.

"How'd it go?" he asked, though he knew the answer already.

"It was good…" he answered, trying hard not to look at the other couple next to them.

"Heh… You're a natural, Kiku!"

1 year later…

Gilbert and Elizabeta hit it off great. They're currently on-and-off dating but that's only because they're so stubborn. He loves her despite the bodily harm she causes him. She just plain loves him.

Alfred and Arthur are actually engaged now. Alfred is getting a job as a lawyer in the city's biggest law firm, and Arthur is a professor at the university. They both have plenty of passion and love in their relationship to last many lifetimes.

Kiku and Heracles started dating a week after their meeting. They're still together now, and Kiku is giving Heracles extra Japanese lessons for their trip to visit Kiku's parents. Kiku thanks his best friends for forcing him to walk up to the Grecian man that night at the bar.

R&R for an awesomesauce muffin~