A/N: after a very long time away from I have decided to make my return. This little nugget wouldn't get out of my head while I was listening to the Twilight soundtrack. This is my first Twilight fanfiction but I have however written many in the Harry Potter category. Please bear in mind though that I am English and live in the UK so I have tried to keep to using American spellings and words as such but there may be some that do fall through the net. Without further ado please enjoy the fic and don't forget to leave a review for me so that I can see whether I should continue or just scrap it.

Disclaimer: Everything you recognise belongs to the wonderful mind that is SM. Everything that has been made up in my head belongs to me.

Summary: Edward and Bella had an argument after their graduation. This led to Edward walking out of Bella's life and keeping her little secret. What happens now when a tragedy makes Edward reappear into Bella's life. B/E, J/A, R/E AH AU OOC

My Little Secret

Chapter 1

September 22nd 2016

Hey, it's me. Does anyone actually address their diary like that nowadays. Well if anyone does then they must be a complete and utter lunatic. Meh I am a complete and utter lunatic. I mean who on earth keeps a diary at the grand old age of twenty nine? Well I guess that I never grew up so really in my mind I am a complete and utter lunatic for thinking that I am still a child.

Anyways someone had this idea that I should rant at a diary in order for me to get rid of some of that bottled up anger that I apparently have. This is today's rant...

Do you believe in true love? I sure as hell don't. I had this boyfriend that I thought was my true love and well yeah it turned out that he wasn't my true love. Everyone that I know still thinks that I'm in love with him and maybe I am, but then if I admitted it, it would prove how deranged I actually am and lets just say that I am not quite ready for that just yet. I'm only twenty nine for Christs' sakes. I'm still a baby. Everyone around me is either married or having a baby and have at least something to show as a result of their life. I have nothing... Well I do have one thing and I am so proud of that one thing. Is it possible to love something so much that you're afraid to stop loving it in case it disappears and turns out to be a figment of your imagination? Apparently it is. Anyway back to true love...

I haven't even seen or spoken to my ex since he walked out on me eleven years ago. I wouldn't even know if he took that blasted job or if he has a wife and kids now. Well I hope he's had a nice life. I wonder if he still remembers me? If he remembers all the good times we had at school with our friends and just being who we wanted to be? He probably doesn't. He probably erased all of those memories the night he left. Is he still in this country even? Probably not. He probably got a promotion at work and hot footed it out of the country to get rid of the memories that he had in his head. Ah well we don't need him and I sure as hell don't need him...

Oh dear god I do need him! I've missed him. I've missed his touch. His smell. His looks. His personality. Him as a whole. I don't want him to have a wife and kids. I hope he's had a horrible life just like I have without him. I hope he still remembers me. Hope he remembers all the good times we had at school with our friends. I hope he hasn't erased all those memories. I hope he's still in this country thinking about me like I'm thinking about him. I need him so much. That leads me to my conclusion. I am hopelessly head over heels in love with him. With my ex boyfriend. I am deranged I tell you. I love him. TRUE LOVE SUCKS!

Everyone has someone...

Jasper proposed to Alice at the end of our graduation from high school. He now owns a fashion boutique in which Alice manages. Well he bought it for her as a wedding present. They're very happily married and have two kids. Abigail (or Abi as she's known) is eight and Cara is five.

Rosalie is still with Emmett. Rose is pregnant and is due in three months. She helps Alice out in the store and Emmett is a police officer. They're very happy together.

Then there's me. Not happily married or happily in a relationship. Haven't had one of those in a long time. Probably wouldn't know what to do in a relationship. In bed even... I work as a teacher in a middle school, I currently teach the seventh grade. Although I do have my one thing that I'm proud of. That one thing is my daughter. Carlie makes me so proud in what she does. She's ten and takes every day as it comes. She won't allow anyone to walk over her. She also watches out for younger children. She's a complete individual. Don't get me wrong I'm not one of those pushy mothers but everything she does makes me proud and she makes me feel so lucky to have her.

Until next time.

The complete and utter lunatic is signing out.

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