This had been on my laptop for quite a time, so I decided to overwork and upload it. I'm quite satisfied with the result :) Aww, you gotta love Raph's soft side! ...gotta go, he has his sais raised! Please enjoy, I'm off!

Raph: "STOP TALKIN' NONSENSE ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK!"

Me: "Raph, cut it out! I just -!"

Raph: "Not only are ya makin' my little brother cry in every freakin' story you write and send him through unbearable pain, but now you're callin' me a whimp!"

Me: "That's not what I meant! Besides, Donny's okay with -!"

Raph: "I DON'T CARE IF HE IS, I'M NOT!"

Donny: "RAPH! WHAT DID I TELL YOU, LEO AND MIKEY IN THE MAILS MARIE WROTE TO PINGUIN!"

Me: "Donny, he's insane!"

Raph: *grabs my throat*: "I'LL SHOW YA HOW INSANE I AM!"

Donny: "RAPH!"

Me: *gulping*: "Need...air...and...reviews!"

Raph: "YOUR BAD TIMING IS ANOTHER REASON FOR ME TO CUT YOU OPEN, YOU SICK LITTLE -!"

Donny: "RAPH!"

Even I Do

Raphael made his way towards his room, exhausted and slightly injured.

One of the dirt bags he attacked had carried a knife and scratched him on the shoulder.

The cut wasn't deep, but deep enough to put Donny into "Doctor Mode" again.

Raph sighed. Maybe he should just bandage the cut himself.

He turned around to get the first aid kit.

To do that, he had to pass Donny's and Leo -!

…Donny's room.

While walking by his younger brother's room, Raph heard quiet whimpering.

Raph immediately froze at the sound, glancing at the lightly opened door.

His eyes widened with shock.

Donatello was sitting in…Leo's bed, clutching tightly onto his old blanket. He was crying.

Raph fully opened the door.

"Is this really what I think it is?"

Donatello's head jerked up at the unexpected noise. His still teary eyes filled with…fear.

"S – sorry I w - oke you up."

Still holding onto Leo's old blanket, the purple banded turtle moved deeper into the shadows of the room.

Raphael started to walk towards Donny. The red clad turtle saw his little brother shivering slightly…in fear!

Raphael felt how his heart tore apart. He didn't want to scare the younger. He never does.

He sat down next to the younger warrior. He had no idea what to do. To be totally honest: Raph had never seen his immediate younger brother like that. And usually, it would be Leo who comforted their little brothers when they're crying.

Leo.

Raphael felt rage boiling up within his chest. Leo was doing that to his usually calm and rational little brother.

Slightly insecure about the situation, Raphael pulled Donny into a tight hug.

Donatello's eyes widened! This was Raphael…could it really be…Raphael hugging him?

He stopped thinking about it and leaned into the older, sobs escaping from his mouth.

Raphael laid one of his hands onto the back of Donny's head.

"'s it 'bout Leo?"

Donatello started trembling.

He cringed tighter onto the older.

"I just miss him so much!"

Raph nodded understandingly and shushed the younger.

He felt bitter hatred coming up his chest.

He hated Leo with all of his being!

How could he even dare to do this to their -! …Raph's little brother!

"'s alright. I'm here."

Donny cried all the harder. On one hand he wanted Leo to be the one holding him.

But on the other hand, it felt so good to finally feel Raph acting like a big brother.

"Do you think…he'll come back?"

Raph clenched his teeth. He didn't want to think about that!

"Maybe…"

Not sounding convincing enough, Donny's sobs got louder, that Raphael almost feared he would wake Mikey and Master Splinter.

Then, he did something he never did before. Never.

He placed a soft kiss on his crying younger brother's forehead.

A short breath escaped the second youngest turtle's mouth, while being shocked, surprised and overtaxed.

But then, he just enjoyed the love coming from his older brother, who showed it so rarely.

His head still resting on Donny's, Raphael whispered to the still sobbing turtle: "Try ta breath smoothly. It'll ease the poundin' in ya head."

A questioning expressing was seen in the younger's face.

"How do you know my head is pounding?"

Raphael clenched his eyes together. Busted.

The red masked turtle took a deep breath: "Well, brainiac: Even I cry sometimes."

Donatello's face jerked up and he looked at Raph, shocked and disbelieving.

Raph crying? His big brother? The one who always throws the first punch? The tough guy? The hothead?

No way could he actually cry!

As if he had read his thoughts, Raphael whispered against the younger's head: "Hard ta believe, I know. But it's true, anyway. I may not cry often, but I do. Ya guys just don't notice. I don't want ya ta notice."

Donny's head was now resting on Raph's chest, slowly realizing everything he just heard.

Then he asked one question. One question which had burned in his mind for a long time, but he thought he'd never ask.

"Raph?"

"Yeah?"

The younger held tighter onto the older.

"You wouldn't leave like him…would you?"

Something inside Raph wanted to shake Donny. To yell at him, how ridiculous that question was. He wanted to scream, to punch.

But he couldn't. Seeing his brother's agony…and he couldn't do anything like that.

He simply couldn't hurt him.

"Donatello."

More tears fell down the purple masked teenager's eyes. The full - name - thing was Leo's part.

"Don't ya dare ta ever think somethin' like that. No way in shell I'd leave ya. I'd rather die than leave ya."

In his head he added "I'd never be like Leo".

He continued.

"I know 'm not a big help 'round here and I know I'm not really showin' you and Mikey that I care. But I care, Donny. I really do."

And then, he quietly whispered: "Because I freakin' love ya guys ta death."

Donatello gasped. He could honestly say that he'd never heard that from Raphael, never ever.

His Brooklyn accent would make him sound a little harsh to people who don't know him, but Donatello could clearly hear the apology, the honesty and love in his second oldest brother's voice.

Being overwhelmed, Donny buried himself even tighter into the hug, which made both turtles fall over, now lying on their absent older brother's bed.

Raphael was still holding Donny, stroking up and down his shell.

Donny whispered, his voice cracking: "I love you too, big brother! I love you so much!"

Raphael tightened his grip around the younger. Tears dared to form in his eyes.

But he wouldn't cry. Not in front of Donny. The purple banded turtle needed a big brother now. And Raph owed him to be one for at least one time. He got up, Donny still in his arms.

"Let's get ya into bed." His voce turned firmer. "Your bed!"

With that, the red banded turtle climbed up the leader of his little brother's bed, laid him down and covered him with the blanket.

Donny was still holding onto Leo's old one.

Raph wanted to take it away, but Donny refused to let go of it. Begging was shown in his eyes.

Raphael looked at him, his gaze as soft as he could manage.

"Don't hurt yaself more than ya have ta."

New tears were sparkling in the younger ninja's face, holding tighter onto the only remain of his absent brother.

Raphael grew impatient.

"Gimme that freakin' blanket already!"

Donny's eyes had again filled with fear. Was his brother going to outburst?

Raphael's gaze got softer at Donny's face.

"Sorry, lil' bro. I didn't mean ta…please, just gimme that thing."

"But -!" "I'm not gonna ask ya again!"

His heart breaking, Donatello handed over his eldest brother's blanket, his hand shaky. Raph was able to see the pain in his eyes.

"Uhm…I'd normally ask Mikey 'bout that, but…need protection?"

His eyes widening, Donny nodded, a relieved and thankful expression on his face.

Raph smiled big brotherly. He was surprised at how good that felt.

Then, he picked up his little brother and carried him to his room. While walking, Donny used all of his strength to hold tight onto his older brother, burying his head into his chest. That made Raph tighten his grip.

He carefully laid the younger turtle into his hammock and then joined him.

Being surprised himself, Raphael placed his arms around his little brother, pulling him close.

Donny had stopped crying. He snuggled up against Raph and tucked his head under the older turtle's chin.

"Good night, Raphie."

Raphie. He hadn't heard that nickname in ages. Well, by Mikey, but that was just to provoke him. Donny said it just like in the old days. When he had still acted like a big brother.

Raph smiled. Like he had lost control of himself, he placed another kiss on Donny's head, whom was almost asleep.

"Sweet dreams, Donny."

For the first time in ages, the red banded teenager felt like a big brother again.

He had totally forgotten how much he loved that feeling.

The End