Pulse

Summary: With every beat of her heart she knew this was wrong. That didn't mean she could stop it. Formerly Hope. ItaSaku. Vaguely Canon flavoured.

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Beat One

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It had been some time since Sakura had seen a fresh corpse.

The ones used for medical research were always perfectly clean, arranged as stiffly as a soldier in formation, and smelled like antiseptic. This was fresh; oozing, in disarray - grotesque. The fact that it hardly even bothered her in the slightest was probably the worst thing. Naruto looked mildly shocked - the rest of the group; perplexed. Sakura just knew that it had been too simple when she had watched Uchiha Itachi crumple beneath Naruto's strike.

Naruto completing a task Sasuke could not was shamefully unimaginable. She still imagined him as a twelve year old; bumbling and loud. Glancing over at him, she felt some relief that he was still alive and whole - tanned skin and features still present, correct and animated. It would not do to think of Gaara and what was happening to him that very instant - what would happen to Naruto if they captured him.

"This cannot be," Chiyo muttered, anxious for the first time.

"You know him?" Kakashi asked, though he probably already knew the answer.

"Yuura - a jounin of the Sand."

Naruto looked restless already, but Sakura turned her eyes back to the body. The niggling feeling that Tsunade had told her she must always - always- listen to began to signal an idea - half-formed and as fragile as an eggshell.

"A spy, perhaps..." She trailed off, knowing that wouldn't go down well.

Chiyo, predictably, shook her head and pursed her wrinkled lips until the thin lines around them deepened to trenches. "He worked hard as a leader for many years... Perhaps illusion was used."

"Those jutsu were the real thing," Kakashi said, unbending.

The idea grew and festered at the forefront of her mind. If anyone knew where Sasuke was, or how to find him, it would be Uchiha Itachi and...

"In order for them to use a technique like this they would have to be reasonably close," Sakura murmured, and stooped to press the still warm neck of the corpse to check for sure that there was no pulse.

Naruto obviously did not follow her line of thought. He shifted irritably from foot to foot and stared into the distance with a strained look in his blue eyes she was unfamiliar with. There was so much about him she was now unfamiliar with. Kakashi clearly caught her meaning - and she could tell by the steely look in his one dark eye that he did not approve. Not in the slightest.

"Forget about it," he said, dismissively, touching her on the shoulder lightly.

The touch of the tip of her fingers on the bare flesh of her neck slightly made her flinch away more than she entirely meant. The idea flashed fully in her mind as she eyed the gaping torso of the corpse critically. She placed a hand on Kakashi's bicep when he didn't remove his hand from her neck. Even though she didn't meet his eyes, Sakura could still feel the reproach in them. His muscles felt like steel beneath her hand, he squeezed her shoulder almost too tightly before he let go.

"Sure thing, Kakashi-sensei. Consider it forgotten."

She didn't.

A kernel of hope lodged itself in her heart and pulsed almost painfully with every beat.

...

"Sakura-chan?" Naruto touched her hand gently, lingered, but didn't hold on to it.

She tried to ignore the squirming feeling of guilt that crawled in her stomach as she thought about what she was about to do. For Sasuke, she added, in her mind. They hadn't even had time to wash since the fight two days before; she could feel the sticky flesh of Sasori's heart beneath her fingernails. The faint herbal smell of Chiyo was still on her clothes and hair.

That, coupled with a lack of chakra, and the ache of the newly healed wound in her stomach made her feel like she wanted to vomit.

"Do you..." he shifted from foot to foot, just as he shifted around the issue, "Are you still upset about Chiyo?"

"She died an honourable death," Sakura recited, calm expression ruined by the unshed tears in her eyes.

Naruto smelt like gunpowder and stale sweat and he had gotten so tall it felt like he could almost swallow her entirely. Once he had been shorter than her. His arms wrapped loosely around her, but quickly tightened. It felt as though she was being burned up by the sun - he was so warm and the orange of his jumpsuit was so bright against her stinging eyes. The effects of neutralised poison were still being felt in her body - sensitivity to light, vertigo, and slight loss of equilibrium...

When she only hung limply in his arms, he retracted from her slightly - a sigh rumbling from his chest. It might have made her feel like a stone cold bitch, but she knew he was used to this. After he removed his support she stumbled slightly, shamefully - another attack of vertigo making itself known. Now she would suffer the fallout that came with having a malevolent poison pulsing through her veins for any length of time.

"I'm sorry," she put her calloused palms to her face until she could see nothing.

She palmed away the trickle of tears on her cheeks before she looked at him again. His grin was so bright and wide it shamed the blazing, desert sun.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for, Sakura-chan."

Sakura was pleased she managed a shaky smile, and took his hand in her own, far smaller one. She didn't think he'd ever get used to how he'd grown. Naruto squeezed her hand almost hard enough to hurt.

Nothing to be sorry for... If only you knew.

...

Pretending to receive a message from Tsunade that ordered her on an immediate, urgent mission was not difficult.

Naruto whined that it wasn't fair and took the chance to grab her hand again, greedily. Sakura knew that even allowing this kind of contact could be seen as leading him on, but - selfishly - she sought the comfort. Since her parents' death her need for tactile contact went almost unfulfilled save for moments like these.

She laughed as she peeled his fingers from hers one by one, teasingly - conscious of the way Kakashi watched them intently. Sakura forced herself to turn and wave once as she ran West from their position into the trees - careful to track their chakra as she ran.

She didn't relax until their signals receded beyond her reach. Tossing her head in a flicker of petal shaded strands, she turned her mind back to the task at hand.

This body - Yuura, she reminded herself - had not had a proper burial. There had been no time to spare for someone who might have been a traitor, who might have lead the Akatsuki right into the heart of the Sand. Rigor mortis had set in, but she was glad to see he had been left almost untouched by scavengers. Still, all that congealing blood and waxy flesh was not a pretty sight.

Sakura carefully removed one glove - studiously ignoring the tide line of dried blood that had formed at her wrists and each finger - and placed a hand on the cold forehead of the corpse. The texture of the skin was something like butter straight from the fridge; pliable, moist... Or maybe more like the cold, slimy skin of uncooked chicken.

Sakura tried to breathe through her mouth as her head started to spin again. She anchored herself with the memory of the warm, dry feeling of Naruto's hand as she sent a chakra probe into the corpse to feel for foreign chakra. Traces lingered by the cerebellum and the heart - her eyes flickered shut as she focused... Focused...

A line swam before her closed eyes for an instant, wriggling like a worm on a hook - bright and hard to catch. Tracking by chakra was a skill few had but she could just about get by. The line would lead her to Uchiha Itachi, she knew, if she could move fast enough to catch him. Hopefully, the last day and a half would not have allowed him to get too far and she would have a chance.

Sighing, Sakura retracted her hand and flexed her stiff fingers. They still felt sore, and the odd splinter was still present, but not worth the effort of removing. . With her level of skill in the tracking discipline she would need something from the body to maintain sight of the line.

Now, the choice.

A section of the heart would be best - or perhaps the brain. The acidic burn of bile rose hot in the back of her throat, making her choke at the thought of touching a heart again. She knew her chances were better if she took it - that was the centre of chakra production, where his would have leeched on to control Yuura's. Grimacing, Sakura drew a kunai and focused on one of Tsunade's lectures about dissection.

The things I do for you, Sasuke.

The ribcage was already partially torn open and twisted from Naruto's attack. Part of his organs had already turned to a mush that had dripped down onto the ground around him in a greying, wobbling mess that reminded her of jelly. Steeling herself, she stuck her hand up inside the ribcage and, with a loud crack, ripped it the rest of the way open from the inside. It wasn't as though she had never cut a body to pieces before, but she had seen this one die - and she felt shaken from her earlier fight.

His heart was cold, slippery, unmoving, and gushed blood down her arm when she ripped it from the body. Sakura squeezed it tightly to try and remove any excess blood. It was muscular and strong; a shinobi's heart and almost entirey filled the only empty pouch she had. The slight extra weight against her thigh and the heavy, fleshy noises it made when she landed too sharply were a constant reminder of her task.

Closing her eyes, Sakura groped for that precious, white-gold line before following it in the direction it stretched.

She had expected his chakra to be darker somehow.

...

For the first few hours, Sakura did nothing but run at break-neck speed through the forests of the River Country - barely stopping. The chakra line remained when she closed her eyes - constantly squirming, and becoming alternately brighter and dimmer. When the sun began to dip towards the horizon Sakura found that she couldn't ignore her shaking muscles any more.

Her stomach ached where Sasori's sword had impaled her every time she landed on a branch, or stretched too far to jump. Stopping by one small, silvery blue stream, Sakura took a deep drink of the bitingly cold water - so sharp it felt like it cut her mouth - and swallowed two soldier pills. Her hands wobbled when she dipped them in the stream to try and wash away some of the blood.

"Out... Come out," she hissed under her breath, rubbing around her fingernails vigorously.

Without some soap and a nailbrush, there wasn't much she could do. The dark, rusty brownish red surrounded the chipped pea-green of her short nails like an ugly frame. Unwillingly, Sakura thought about her time limit. When Naruto and Kakashi got back to Konoha they would surely ask Tsunade about her 'mission', and her lie would be discovered. She wondered what they would think - Naruto would be devastated, Kakashi - furious. They might even think she was defecting.

Shutting her eyes against that thought, Sakura groped around her nervous system, digestive system, and circulatory system to check that the soldier pills weren't shocking her poison-wracked body too badly. She straightened - feeling the fresh burst of energy jolting through her body - before launching herself in the direction of the line again.

The only thing that was really keeping her going was the thought of finally finding Sasuke.

Night came and fell, and the line remained at the same brightness as it had been for hours. She could only assume that Uchiha Itachi had finally stopped moving. Torn between pushing herself to catch up entirely, and stopping so she could be better prepared for whatever Uchiha Itachi would have to throw at her, she reluctantly stopped at a tiny inn at the entrance of a valley.

The room she rented was the only unoccupied one in the entire place - consisting of two rooms; a bedroom and a cubby hole of a bathroom. She didn't bother with the light. Just threw off most of her clothes, her sandals, and placed the pouch holding the precious heart onto the grubby table in the corner. It was only when she flopped onto the futon by the window in just her shorts and chest bindings that Sakura realised she wasn't alone.

Kakashi stood by the door of the bathroom, staring down at her with one eye so dark it blended into the shadows of the room. His arms were tightly folded. He didn't do anything until she snapped her arm up to cover her chest defensively and crawled back slightly.

"Kakashi-sensei, I can explain!"

She lay stock still - guilt and something that tasted bitter like fear pinned her in place. She heard him inhale sharply through his nose.

"Yuura's blood and soldier pills," he muttered, voice flatter and colder, more clinical, than she ever remembered.

His sense of smell had never failed to startle her.

"I was tracking - not running away," she half-whispered - needing to justify herself to him.

If one could leave their team so easily... Sakura felt the need to prove that she wouldn't be another. Not anymore. That offer had been retracted long ago - when Sasuke left her knocked out and alone on a cold stone bench.

"Tracking after I specifically forbade you," the tonelessness of his voice made her shiver.

"You told me to forget about it... Not that I could," she replied, refusing to let go of the hope the idea brought.

Kakashi unfolded his arms to run one hand restlessly through the thick, messy strands of his hair. Now that he looked away, she wanted desperately for him to face her. She wanted some kind of approval, of anger, of something.

"I thought that would be implicit, Sakura," He suddenly sounded so tired, "you were always my brightest student - cute and unproblematic. Now you decide that it's a good idea to go running off alone after Uchiha Itachi."

She felt her stomach quiver in a way that had nothing to do with Sasori's sword wound.

"It's too good an opportunity to go to waste," she said, finally - defiant.

"Then why didn't you tell Naruto and I?" The shadows threw strange angles on his face, making it even more unreadable.

She found herself wishing she had turned on the lights when she entered the room - that would have, quite literally, lightened the atmosphere. Or, at least remove some of the simmering tension between them. Although, perhaps Sakura didn't want to see the full extent of his expression.

"Itachi is too dangerous for Naruto... He might take him away."

"And me, Sakura?"

When she didn't answer immediately he answered his own question," Because you always feel you have to bear the weight of anything to do with Sasuke on your own."

That stung, but she couldn't dispute it. Huffing slightly, she closed her stinging eyes and tried not to let his words get to her.

"Why didn't you pull me over earlier to lecture me?" Sakura's words came out furious and stinging, despite her intent.

Kakashi always had a way of making her feel like an ignorant, idiotic, childish Academy student, "I got to the border of the Fire country before I could work out where you had gone and ditch Naruto. I only just caught up."

Flopping back onto the futon, she felt her short burst of anger and energy drain away like water down a sink. Hearing him sit down heaving at the base of the futon she crawled up and over to his side to rest her head against his shoulder like a child, despite how he stiffened. They had all forgotten, she thought, what it was like to be a team. What it was like to be Team Seven. He didn't move to touch her, or throw her off, and sat as still as a statue.

"Don't be angry at me - I just want him back. I just want us to be like we were, before," she pleaded, feeling semi-delirious - the soldier pills were wearing off now.

Her body sagged against his and she rested her entire weight on him. The will to return to her futon gone in the wake of the warmth that radiated from him, and the deep sense of comfort that soaked into her very bones. Sakura would never admit to how shaken she still felt in the aftermath of the fight with Sasori and the death of Chiyo, and the wild, hope-filled chase across the country for someone as untouchable and elusive as the moon.

"It's alright," Kakashi said - so quietly she almost thought she had imagined it. His shoulder shifted until his arm wrapped tightly around her. She slept like that. Unaware even when Kakashi dragged the cover of the futon over them both.

...

When she woke up a few hours later she was lying on the futon with the covers tucked up just beneath her chin. Kakashi sat at one of the two seats eating a rather delicious smelling breakfast with another plate opposite it - obviously for her. The sun hadn't even risen yet, so she had no idea how he had managed to get it. She didn't care; it was like a peace offering.

Dragging herself up, Sakura had the presence of mind to pull on her top - which had been piled messily beside her with the rest of her clothes - before rushing over to the table to start demolishing the breakfast. The table was so small their knees touched no matter how Sakura angled her legs. Kakashi didn't even seem to notice. She almost choked on the scrambled eggs when she noticed the lumpy object left on the table between them

The heart lay sagging and oozing slightly on the table between them - the elephant in the room that Sakura studiously ignored.

Kakashi managed to finish the rest of his meal whenever she wasn't looking. The mask was always firmly in place whenever she looked up, and he drank the glass of water at his elbow with it on despite the obvious hygiene issue.

"So, this was how you were tracking?" He prodded the lump of flesh on the table.

"Yes. Using the chakra Itachi left in... it as a guide."

"Clever."

Sakura tried not to let on how that single comment made her swell with pride - she had never quite gotten used to getting praise, or even full on attention from Kakashi. She concentrated on shovelling in the rest of her food and trying to look dignified while she did so. A companionable silence stretched between the two of them, before Kakashi spoke again.

"If we're going to catch up, we'll have to leave soon."

Sakura stared up at him - green eyes bright and wide. A small piece of scrambled egg stuck, quivering, on her lower lip before she swiped her tongue across it. Her mouth felt suddenly dry, and a lump formed in her throat within an instant. For a moment, she struggled for something to say - an unusual occurrence.

"You're okay with it?" She felt oddly elated.

"Not okay," he stated, mindful of the way her face fell, "but willing to try. It's a good opportunity."

Sakura was too happy to dig into the way Kakashi had paused - she didn't want to think about his motives. Scooping up her fleshy guide, she stored it carefully in her newly strapped on pouch - relieved that the golden line was still faintly visible. She felt that Sasuke was closer than he had felt in a long time. Smiling genuinely at Kakashi, she looked up at the clouds as they stepped outside of the Inn.

Somewhere out there, Sasuke was under the very same sky.

...

Around noon the line began to falter and became thinner from then on.

Several times she was sure that it would dissolve completely and only pushing herself to the absolute limits of her speed allowed her to keep up. Kakashi kept up effortlessly. Having to close her eyes often had its obvious disadvantages too; nearly running into trees was one, feeling vulnerable another. More than once, Sakura felt that they were being followed. Kakashi did not speak for hours on end.

Night fell before the line began to strengthen again, much to her relief. The cool air helped to dry the sweat that covered her from the exertion of the run. A little town appeared on the horizon - piled untidily on a steep hill, lights glowing merrily. She knew Uchiha Itachi was there and that thought managed to force out an extra burst of speed. Sakura knew she would be in no state to fight when she arrived, but that wasn't part of the plan.

Hope had lodged itself in her mind, and she would not turn back now.

Kakashi signalled for them to stop just before they got to the road. She looked at him quizzically - irritated by the fact that he didn't seem to be tired in the slightest.

"What exactly are you planning, Sakura?"

She swallowed heavily, and looked away from him. This was the part she hadn't been looking forward to explaining.

"I actually got the idea from you, Kakashi-sensei. I'm going to," she paused, feeling the weight of his gaze,"offer to heal Itachi's eyes."

Kakashi's single visible eye was as cold and flat as stone. His expression didn't change in the slightest.

"You are aware that could be considered treason."

Sakura's heart thudded against her ribcage like a fluttering bird trying to escape from a cage. Oh, she knew alright. Finding it hard to speak, she nodded instead. Kakashi closed his eye - a deep frown visible on his face. She wasn't entirely sure why he had humoured her up to now. The silence was so taunt between them that she felt the need to reach over and touch him lightly on the arm - the way his muscles jumped beneath her fingers told her how little he was now used to impromptu contact. The remnants of their team struggled like badly set bones.

"Is he really worth this, Sakura? You know Sasuke will be furious if he ever finds out." She could tell by his tone that he was trying to make her give up.

Unsure of what to say to him, and too highly strung to argue, Sakura let go of his arm and began to walk away towards the small town.

"I'll be watching," Kakashi added, just before she got so far away that the shadows of the trees swallowed him entirely.

Sakura wasn't entirely sure whether that was a comfort or a threat.

...

...

Well, this was originally done as a request for Aria Illusine, but then it kind of grew and sprouted weird other sections and I ended up editing the whole damn thing and adding another chapter or so. I hope you all like the new (and, hopefully, improved) version. Oh, and I changed the name... Because I can.

Thanks for reading,

Silver ~ x

Edited: 22/11/2012