"Hey, Blondie!" Jacob called from the living room. "I think I have one you ain't heard before!"

In the kitchen Rosalie was busying herself making a sandwich with double meat for Jacob. She would not have been caught dead doing this unless Esme hadn't given her a glare that was so fierce she had to comply.

She slammed a piece of bread on to the counter and haphazardly spread mayo and mustard on to it. Opening the lunchmeat, she took the entire contents and slapped it on the bread. Quickly chopping an onion, she added half of it to the sandwich, garnished with some lettuce and tomato and grabbed another mixing bowl and bent it into a dog bowl; with her perfectly manicured nails she scratched 'Fido' into the side of the new bowl.

Exiting the kitchen she crossed to where he sat beaming up at her. She carelessly tossed the bowl on to the coffee table. It spun, causing the top part of the sandwich to fly off on to the floor and onion chunks to decorate the table. Satisfied, Rosalie walked away.

"Hey! I said I have a joke for you!"

"…and I said that I have killed many times before. You really want to risk it?" she said as she spun to give him a glare from across the room.

Not missing a beat, Jacob replied with, "What did the blonde do when she heard on the news that over 90% of accidents occur at the home?"

Rosalie clenched her fists and jaw, shooting venom at him with her eyes.

Jacob smiled. "She moved. Is that why you guys move around so much? You cause too many accidents?"

Upstairs a loud laugh bellowed, but quickly died after the last part was delivered. With a screech and a blur, Rosalie tore off up the stairs. Throwing the door to her room open with such force, it broke through the wall and off the hinges, where it fell against the hallway wall.

Emmett looked at her and quickly got to her side and enveloped her in a bear hug. "Shh, it's okay baby. You know he's only teasing."

"I can't take it anymore! I just wish that Bella and Edward could move away from here and take that damned mutt with them! I don't so much mind the jokes, but the quips hurt! I never wanted this! I never wanted to move around every seven damned years! It's just a constant reminder of what I am and what I can't have."

Pulling back Emmett noticed the color of her eyes. "You need to feed or you're going to kill Black."

"It'll be for the better," she retorted with a bitter smile.

"Baby, you're going to have to suck it up. He's here to stay as long as Bella is around."

"Thanks for the kind words, Em."

Emmett kissed the top of her head and then her lips. "Well, I'm going to go and hunt. You know where to find me if you care to join to cool off and relax."

He smirked, and opened their bedroom window, before jumping down and over the river, jogging into the wooded area behind the house.

Rosalie sat on the bed and though about her life. If anything, she was glad that Carlisle had found her when he had. If not for that she would be dead and her life would be meaningless. She was grateful for Emmett, in a way he was her savior. Her thoughts then turned to Jacob, she thought of the torment he caused her. As she thought about what she wished she could do to him, how she could explain it to Bella and the rest of the Cullen clan, her thoughts yet again turned into something completely unthinkable.

Her body tightened at the images that suddenly coursed through her head; a sweaty tanned ass pummeled into her depths, her white skin providing a stunning contrast.

She gripped her head and groaned.

As if on cue, Alice burst through the broken door in a panic. "What happened? I just saw your future go blank."

"I…I don't know what you mean, I was just plotting ways to kill the mutt, and get away with it," Rosalie replied quickly.

"Then, why did your future go dark?"

"Maybe I self consciously placed myself on the reservation?"

Alice took a moment to ponder this and once satisfied with the answer she spoke. "Rose, even if you wanted to, you know you can't kill Jacob. It will void the treaty and we'll all be hunted and killed. All you can do is torture him back or come to an understanding with him."

"I guess you're right," Rosalie responded. Alice simply nodded serenely, before dancing out of the room.

Later that night, the rest of the house went to hunt. Edward decided to stay with Bella, and he had moved her to the back of the house in the yard, where he had set up two chairs and table, so they could watch the fading day turn into night.

Wanting to give them privacy, Jacob decided to stay in the house. He was lounging in the front room in just his cutoff sweats and watching a Redskins game on ESPN.

Taking the advice given to her by Alice, Rosalie went ahead and joined him. She stared at the TV, but wasn't really paying attention to what was happening on the screen.

"Hey Blondie, that looks like something you would do." Focusing more intently on the screen she watched as the men tossed a football back and forth and tackled each other.

"No, I would mow them down, most likely killing them as I ran towards the goal."

Jacob's head turned slowly in her direction. "What? No clever come back?"

Starting to get irritated she turned to look at him. "Bella is my sister and you are her friend. You are here to stay as long as you're breathing, so I might as well suck it up until you leave," She of course said this through clenched teeth.

Jacob broke into a huge grin and could not resist saying the first thing that came to his mind. "I could give you something to suck up."

Rosalie, whose attention was now on the television again, slowly turned her head to look at Jacob. "What did you say, mutt?"

Jacob thought it was funny at first, but hearing her reaction made his dark skin flush red as he stammered, "I-I'm sorry. It just came out."

Rosalie was out of her seat and in Jacob's face in nanoseconds; her arms on either side of his head. "Trust me, Jacob; you don't have half of what my Emmett has to 'suck up'."

With Rosalie mere inches from his face, her sweet aroma filled his senses; in any other situation it would have caused him to make snide remarks and gag, but not today, however. They gazed heatedly into each other's eyes, both breathing heavily.

Then, without hesitation Jacob gripped the back of Rosalie's head and pulled her down to him. Their lips met and they fiercely kissed; mouths opening and tongues battling for dominance. Jake's grip on the back of her head tightened as he pulled her hair to hold her more firmly. At his ministrations she growled low in her chest and pulled away. Only Jacob kept her close. "What do you think, do I compare up to Emmett?"

Rosalie allowed her head to be titled down and saw an impressive tent poking up through his sweatpants. "I don't know. Looks can be deceiving."

Pulling her head back up he nipped her bottom lip and pulled her hair roughly back. "Is that an invitation?"

In a blink of an eye they were upstairs. Jacob looked around the room and then back at Rosalie who was standing at the window. "Did you just carry me up here?"

Without answering the question she said, "What I am about to do, negates the vows which I have spoken with Emmett. I don't know why I am exactly doing it this way, but there's tension between us and it needs to stop. I should just go out back with you and throw your ass around, but I'm not." In a blur Rosalie moved and stood in front of Jacob. "This remains between the both of us."

Taken aback by her honesty Jacob was shocked nearly to the point of being speechless, but he finally got out words. "Look, if you don't want this, we don't have to. It was stupid of me to say it. I just enjoy seeing you seething and frustrated. It's a turn on."

Rosalie placed a cold hand on Jacob's warm chest and trailed it down to the waist of his pants. "Your warmth turns me on and frustrates me at the same time. It's a constant reminder of what you have. Deep down, I need this."

No further words were spoken.

Rosalie got down on her knees and pulled his pants down as she went. His erection sprang forth from the confines and bobbed by Rosalie's head. She took in the size of him and he was, shockingly, about the same length as Emmett, but its girth was something she had never seen. She placed a cold hand around the base of his cock, causing Jacob to suck in his breath and release it slowly. Rosalie smirked up at him and slowly slid her mouth around the head of his cock and sucked hard. A strangled moan came from his mouth as her frigid tongue moved in figure eights around the frenum of his cock.

She slid down his cock a little further; with her mouth opened as far as it could go, it only allowed her to get halfway before she had to stop and work her way back up. As she did so, she swayed her tongue slowly from side to side, until his head was out of her mouth. Licking it in a circle, she gripped the base of him and started working him at a slow pace.

Jacob closed his eyes and let his head fall back as the vampire stroked him off. He really wished it was Bella doing this to him, however, but pushed that thought from his mind. He paid attention to what Rosalie was doing to him and the way she stroked his cock and twisted slightly at the end of each stroke and the way her mouth slowly made its way down the length of him and nuzzled his balls.

He looked down in time to see her tongue snake out and lick his balls. His sack drew up slightly from the cold and she picked up the speed of her hand. She continued to work on his balls, taking one of them at a time into her mouth, sucking gently before working her way back up.

Finally, Jacob spoke. "I want to feel my cock at the back of your throat."

Hearing those words come out of him sent an unexpected surge of wetness from her pussy down her thighs. "I'll do my best…don't want to knick your cock."

Her mouth slid once again down his cock to her stopping point. Grabbing a fistful of hair, Jacob pushed her further down and Rosalie opened a little further. With this effort she made it to three quarters of the way down.

"Relax," Jacob said in a breathy whisper. Keeping her stationary, he started to thrust in and out of her mouth. Not entirely satisfied with the slow speed, he picked it up a notch and his balls slapped at her chin, his head once again fell back.

While Jacob fucked her mouth, Rosalie felt her own needs being neglected. Taking matters into her own hands and without missing a beat, she removed her pants in a flash and got down to her pleasure.

Rosalie thrust two fingers into her pussy and brought them back out and fingered her clit in a circular motion. After a moment she hummed her pleasure around his cock.

Jacob brought his head back up and looked down at Rosalie and the site of his tanned cock penetrating her red stained lips. Further down he saw one of her hands working as she moaned again.

This time, however, it was longer and throatier. His balls drew up even closer and the first feelings of his orgasm became present.

Jacob just barely managed to say 'bed', and he and Rosalie worked their way on to it. Jacob got on to his back and Rosalie greedily went back to his cock and started to suck him again. The way she was laying across him made her pussy easily accessible. He tentatively put a hand on her back and she stiffened slightly, but never missed a bob.

His hand trailed down and reached the dip of her back where it met her ass. He rounded on it, and spread her cheek a little daringly playing around her hole. Thinking twice about it, he continued his journey until he finally reached her opening. He pushed one finger inside of her. He could tell she was cold on the inside, but it was considerably warmer than the rest of her. Slightly withdrawing his finger, he then bent it a little, causing Rosalie to shake.

He felt her cold mouth leaving his cock and she turned her face to him. Her eyes had lost its gold coloring and were replaced by a dark brown. With almost a snarl she said, "Two fingers."

Not hesitating he plunged two fingers inside of her and removed them with the same bending motion. His other hand in the process weaved its way back into her hair, but did not try to move her.

All too soon, Rosalie was helping with her pleasure and was moving her body in time with Jacob's fingers. They both started to moan in anticipation of their releases.

Suddenly, Rosalie left the bed and removed the last of her clothing. Jacob's hand in the mean time had gone to his balls; a tight sensation started to take over and it felt like his balls were getting pinched. He watched as she crawled back on to the bed and positioned her hips over his. She brought her eyes level to his and spoke. "We're going to fuck now. Do you have an issue with that?"

His eyes went wide and without waiting for a response, she slammed herself down on to his cock.

With the intense flood of sensations that went through him, he sat up and his arms went around her waist and buried his face in her chest. They remained unmoving and he said something into her chest and even with her vampiric hearing, she couldn't make out what he said. "What?"

Pulling back he said, "I'm a, or was, a virgin."

Slightly shocked, Rosalie's only response was, "Oh... Well, don't expect anything tender."

Jacob grinned up at her, "Didn't even think you had it in you."

Laying back down, Rosalie took it as an invitation to move and so she did. She rode him with long strokes, her needless breath hitching when she took him all the way in. He stretched her wide and it shamefully felt good to be filled like this. She could feel every nerve ending being met when his cock entered and left her body and when it left, she felt empty, but then every time in returned and stuffed her until it rested at her cervix. She let out a low moan at the sensations.

Unexpectedly, Rosalie was rolled on to her back and Jacob started pumping into her. Bracing himself over her, he bent down and took one of her nipples into his mouth and tongued it before releasing it with a bite; with that bite, Rosalie's pussy clamped around him, causing him to groan.

Figuring the end was near, he decided to make arrangements. "Where do you want me to come?" His eyes closed and he took a deep breath, releasing it as a moan.

"In me," Rosalie said too far gone, "It'll be fine." Her body stiffened and she released a breath. "I'm close."

Jacob released his restraints and ruthlessly plunged into her, not worrying about hurting her.

His body began to tense, the tendons in his neck protruding out. His cock pummeled into her-

"What the fuck is going on here?"

Rosalie was up and out of the bed fast. Jacob wound up on his back on the floor at the foot of the bed. Arching his back, he looked towards the window and saw Emmett standing there with a perplexed expression on his face. Rosalie was in the corner biting her nails.

"Rose, when I said to suck it up, I didn't mean to fuck him. I mean come on, if you wanted to fuck him, you should have at least told me so. I could have shown him how to get you off in ten seconds."

Still looking at Emmett upside down, he cocked his head, "What?"

"Man, you can make her pussy cream in ten seconds flat if you know what to do."

Getting up, Jacob stood facing away from Emmett. Trying not to be awkward, he got up on the bed and was reaching for a pillow when hands went around his waist and drug him to the edge of the bed. Emmett's mouth was next to his ear. "Just like how I can get you to shoot your load all over the bed with just a flick and a stroke." Emmett's hand traveled down to Jacob's ass and mimicked his earlier adventures on Rosalie.

"I'm not gay."

"You don't have to be in order to feel this," Emmett circled Jacob's hole with a finger.

Jacob tensed. It was definitely new territory, but what Emmett was doing, did indeed feel good without any penetration and his balls were back to aching and he needed release…

In the corner, Rosalie finally spoke. "Are you mad? You should be going ape shit right now, but instead you're going to give him pointers and fingering his ass?"

Emmett looked over to Rosalie and grinned. "Baby, remember the seventies?" He licked his finger and placed it back at Jacob's opening and circled it, applying more pressure than the last time.

Despite the fact that he had just been fucking one vampire, and another was now fingering his ass hole, let alone a male vampire, Jacob moaned and he could feel his cock growing full once more.

Rosalie was staring at what was transpiring between her husband, and for all things considered a frenemy; he very well couldn't be an enemy any longer since his cock had been in side of her.

Emmett could only guess what Rosalie was looking at and keeping with up with his anal play, moved his free hand around to Jacob's front and gripped his cock.

Jacob cried out and pressed his ass further into Emmett's hand, which caused the finger to slide first knuckle deep inside. The hand on his cock never faltered in its stroking.

"He's ready for you, Rose. Come and lie down on the bed, like normal."

Sexually frustrated herself and almost positive that there wasn't going to be any explosive fights any time soon, she made her way to the bed. She got on to the bed like in her normal way. Her knees were bent and her feet and ass were at the edge of the bed. Her pussy was now right on display in front of Jacob.

He finally took that part of her in, realizing he hadn't even really looked at her tits either. Her pussy was just as white as the rest of her, though her lips seemed to be a faint pink color. Her hair was blonde and it seemed that once upon a time she had trimmed it close to her lips. His eyes scanned up her body to her tits. He guessed they were probably a C, a perfect handful and her nipples were the only dark thing on her; a deep pink, almost a purple with a nickel sized aureole.

"What do you think of her?" Emmett said, picking up the speed of his hand, bringing the attention back to what he was doing.

Flexing again, his ass was penetrated further with the finger. "For a vampire, she's pretty hot."

"And for a wolf, she's pretty hot for you. Look at the way her pussy is glistening for you to eat it." Emmett removed his finger and pulled away from Jacob and in an instant was back, only this time rather than his finger, his cock slid up and down the canal between his cheeks. "Hell, I'm pretty fucking horny myself. Now, do you want me to tell you how to properly fuck my wife?"

Emmett's hand was once again on Jacob's cock and Jacob could only nod. "Lick her pussy."

Jacob leaned forward, but hesitated at the last second. "Is it safe?"

"It's not the same venom we produce when we feed."

With no further restrictions applied, he delved in.

The myriad of tastes that touched his tongue was almost intoxicating. Her pussy was sweet, very sweet. It didn't have any bitterness to it, which shocked him a little. His tongue laved at her opening and delved in and a strong taste of what almost could be described as jasmine filled his mouth. He sucked at the juices that flowed from her and worked his way up to her clit. He pulled it into his mouth and rolled his tongue around the bead, and then with the tip of his tongue he tickled the tip of it.

He was so lost in the taste and the need to pleasure her, he forgot about what was happening to him.

Seeing how Jacob laved at his wife's pussy, Emmett further pushed his finger into Jacob's ass; he being distracted made it easy to slide in. Without moving the finger he directed Jacob what to do next.

"Now, if you can pull your mouth from her long enough, shove three fingers into her, she can take it."

Removing his mouth he did as instructed. "Good. Now put your thumb on her clit and rub it in circles and flutter your fingers a bit."

Rosalie gave a low moan, and her pussy clamped down around his fingers. She then tightened her muscles.

"Now, do you feel the spongy tissue towards the top of her stomach?" Unable to speak, Jacob nodded. "What you need to do now is to continue with the pressure on her clit, but instead of moving your fingers in and out of her move them up and down and brace yourself with your other hand on her mound.

Jacob attempted to do this. He moved his hand in a vertical motion and while Rosalie did voice her pleasure, nothing beyond her getting wetter was happening.

"Lean on her mound more. When you reach the up stroke, flutter your fingers a little and curve into the sponge."

And then it happened.

Jacob gave it his all. He bent his fingers inside of her and quickly maneuvered his fingers and he fluttered when he got to the top. The noises that Rosalie was making damned near caused him to climax all over the bed, stopped.

"Pull your fingers out now and rub the from side to side over her clit and lips."

Utterly turned on, he complied. Rosalie let out a scream and her whole body convulsed on the bed and a fountain of liquid erupted from her pussy, coating her legs, as well as Jacob's hands, face, and chest.

That's when Jacob's knees buckled and he caught himself on the bed. He felt Emmett's finger buried in his ass and it was hitting his own pleasure spot. He probed and fluttered around it and Jacob felt like the entire contents of his balls was going to shoot out of his cock. He went to grip his cock, but Emmett's hand stopped him, and the finger inside of him stopped as well.

"You're going to properly fuck Rosalie and make her sweet pussy comes all over your cock and I am going to fuck this tight ass of yours until my load is deep inside of you."

Jacob hesitated and went to argue with Emmett, but Emmett had other ideas. He easily slipped another finger inside of Jacob and stretched his opening a little. Finding the spot again he made a scissor motion around his prostate. Submitting to what was about to happen, he bent his head further down and lapped at Rosalie's juices. She has since quieted down, but the first lick of her clit quickly brought her back to attention.

Emmett continued stretching Jacob's ass. Once satisfied, he moved on to a third finger. In no time, Jacob was thrusting back on to Emmett's fingers and Rosalie was mewling her pleasure.

"On the bed, now," Emmett barked, his own cock and balls needing their own release.

Once situated on the bed, Jacob penetrated Rosalie once more and pumped away slowly. Emmett was behind Jacob and he easily slid three fingers inside of him. Satisfied that he was ready, he positioned his cock at Jacob's ass and started pushing in.

Jacob's motions stopped as he felt Emmett slide in. He tensed upon him, but a surprisingly soothing hand down his back relaxed him. He felt his ass being stretched, and soon enough he felt Emmett's pubic hair at his ass.

Emmett sank back in and withdrew further each time. Slightly pulling out, Emmett spit a little on his cock, allowing for a smoother entry. Jacob arched his back over Rosalie and let out a soft growl as Emmett sank back in.

Jacob resumed fucking Rosalie, though the pace was slower. It took a moment, but they worked out a rhythm. Every time Jacob pulled out, so did Emmett. Emmett would slowly slide his cock in and Jacob would sink into Rosalie.

The threesome carried on this way for a while, each of their orgasms building.

Emmett sensed Jacob's impending orgasm by the way his ass seemed to clench, much like Rosalie's pussy. He titled his hips up just a little more and Jacob cried out. Smirking, Emmett continued to hit his prostate with every thrust in.

Jacob's movements started to falter. "Put my legs over your shoulders." Rosalie moaned, and a tangle of limbs later her legs were almost on Jacob's bulky shoulders. This position allowed her pussy to tighten around Jacob and for him to sink in further. He pistoned into her and Emmett kept up behind him.

Then without warning, his orgasm hit. He rammed into Rosalie, pressed and held in her as his balls tightened. His cock swelled and he pulled out one more time and slammed back in. He twitched and he felt his release start to pump out of him. Jerkily he moved in and out of Rosalie.

At the feel of Jacob's warm come flooding her depths and his short movements, her own orgasm hit. Her pussy clamped around him and helped milk his seed.

Once his two partners had finished, Emmett grabbed Jacob by the hips and relentlessly pumped into Jacob's ass, making sure to hit his sweet spot. It didn't take long and Jacob, already spent, twitched and came again with a shout, his flaccid cock seeping more semen on the bed.

With a growl, and with one last powerful thrust, Emmett released inside of Jacob. Every time he pulled out, semen leaked from his ass and down his legs.

Satiated, Emmett released Jacob and he collapsed on Rosalie, quickly rolling on to his back. Emmett joined the two and they all stared up at the ceiling.

"So," spoke Rosalie, "do you think we could leave the differences aside and keep the comments to ourselves?"

A lazy smile came over Jacob. "I dunno, we're just going to have to wait and see."

"Well, I think I have an excellent suggestion as to how we can all relieve a little tension if the situation arises again. Only this time, Jacob, you get me in the ass."

"Uh, yeah about that…"

"Most straight men play with their asses, it feels good. So what if another guy does it to you, it doesn't make you gay. Besides, Rose could use a little time off with the strap on."

"…okay that was something I didn't need to know…"

~o0o~

Meanwhile, on the back porch Edward and Bella sat wide eyed staring off into space. Even with her human hearing, Bella couldn't help but hear what had just transpired upstairs.

Edward was beyond mortified as he listened to the thoughts of the three people upstairs. He put his head in his hands and let out a sigh.

"This is going to be interesting to say the least…"

Bella nodded her head.

And round two began upstairs.