Our mad dash from Hale Hall to the northern campus dorms felt exhilarating. Crisp autumn leaves crunched beneath our feet, and the whistling wind held the icy note of an approaching winter.

We sprinted, stumbled, and snorted in laughter.

"Was that a cat? It looked evil."

"I don't know, crazy lady. Just keep going."

"Watch out for that cracked step!"

"Ouch."

"Warned you so."

At last, we came to a stop at Damen Hall's main entrance.

"Come upstairs?" asked Edward.

"But what about my brother?"

"Jasper might be out. Sometimes, he sleeps over at Alice's dorm," said Edward quickly. "I try not to think about it."

I smiled. "Up for me it is then."

His eyes shone in excitement before he turned and practically slammed his ID through the scanner.

"Come on, woman."

Once we reached the third-floor landing, Edward rushed forward to open our door, move past the living area, and peek inside the bedroom for a glimpse of Jasper.

"All clear," he said, smiling. He tilted his head to invite me in.

I pretended to give the place a perfunctory once-over while my heart beat in nervous anticipation. "I like it. Very homey."

He pressed a soft kiss to my forehead and stepped back to say, "Thanks." Pushing the hair off my forehead with one hand, he slid the knuckles of the other down to rest against my cheek.

"Bella," he breathed. "You still stun me. Just please know that you control tonight's pace. Understand? I expect nothing but honesty."

My heart filled to the brim with interwoven strands of joy and guilt at his words. "I understand."

A bark sounded.

Evan, tail wagging, sprang at me. I picked the hyper little thing up and laughed to feel his leathery tongue swiping at my cheek.

I turned to see Edward watching us closely. He smiled after a moment and plucked Evan from my arms. The puppy growled at him in annoyance.

He lifted Evan by his underarms to meet his eye. "Yeah, yeah, I get it. But don't steal my thunder tonight. Okay, boy?"

Evan barked.

"How'd you get out of your cage anyway?" asked Edward.

I may have forgotten to lock it.

He put Evan down and led us to the couch in the living area before turning on the stereo. The soft strains of a Chopin piece started to permeate the room like a heady perfume.

I stared at the familiar lines of my man's back, so strong and straight. He carried so very much on those muscled shoulders of his. These past few weeks, he'd opened up gradually, telling me the stories of his troubled childhood, the insights of his adolescence, and the oddities of his adulthood.

He hated himself at times.

I found him glorious always.

"Edward?" I asked.

"Yes?" Green eyes turned to me.

I patted the couch seat beside mine, and he smiled.

"I have a better idea," he whispered.

He tugged me into his arms and sat us down. "Much better."

I laughed and stole a kiss, which he seemed reluctant to break for quite a while. His hands roamed, and mine sunk happily into his floppy hair. I tugged at the strands and hummed into his mouth.

A jerky movement got us aligned differently, and he thrust his hips upwards reflexively. At my moan, he flipped me onto my back along the length of the couch and bit my neck lightly.

My hands snuck under his shirt to stroke chilled skin. I giggled to feel abdominal muscles contract in response to my flattened palm. I let a hand wander lower.

He stopped me.

I lifted my eyes to meet his.

"Edward?"

His forehead pressed against mine, our ragged breaths mingling.

"Bella, did I ever tell you about the first girl I ever slept with?"

"What?"

"Sorry. Let me rephrase. Did I ever tell you why I chose to lose my virginity early?"

I shook my head, torn between confusion and anger.

"It's my most closely guarded secret." His mouth tightened.

I touched his face. "Baby?"

"I felt dirty. Like my arteries and veins housed muck instead of blood, and for some reason, the thought of being in someone else seemed like a good way of cleansing myself."

My vision grew cloudy. He kissed the tears away and continued, "But Bella, I don't want those kinds of thoughts or feelings to intrude on us tonight. I want to be inside you because you mean the world to me. Because I want to be a part of you without losing any part of myself. Let's share instead of take."

"Edward." I wrapped my legs around his torso and squeezed.

"So now, Bella . . ."

"Yes?" I asked.

"Is there anything you'd like to share with me?"

I paused and then said, "You mean the world to me too."

He pulled back slightly. What was that emotion lurking in the murky green depths of his eyes? Disconcertion? Bafflement? No. Disappointment. But why?

"I see."

Fear filled my bones, but I had to say it. "Edward?"

He pressed against me harder. "Yes?"

"I love you."

He searched my eyes. I don't know what he found, but he laughed lightly—somewhat sadly. "I love you too."

Then he dropped his weight atop me and let us simply be for a long moment.

"Aren't you going to take me to your bed?" I asked.

"Not tonight."

"What? Why?"

"You're not ready. We're not ready."

8o8o8o8o8o8o8

I left in the morning.

I fell asleep on the couch after Edward refused to elaborate about his reservations. I realized he might have sensed a level of dishonesty in our relationship. I had refused to peel that layer back, and the guilt tugged at my heartstrings.

He would hate me if he knew. Could I risk that?

Essentially, I'd infiltrated his swim team, a safe haven he cherished. Considering his initial reaction to Jasper attempting such a sin, I knew it would be infinitely worse if he realized Bella had done it all while beginning a relationship with him.

So I stewed in my misery like a mushy tomato in soup.

Leaving Damen Hall as Bella, I continued to mull it over—

Only to walk straight into James.

He had pulled his silvery blond hair back into a ponytail, which accentuated his sharp nose and cold eyes. I noticed the reporting notepad, clutched at his side with the tips of his fingers, and my heart began to race.

"Hi," I mumbled and made to move aside.

"Now hold on there. What's the rush?"

I gulped. "I have to get home. It's a long drive and I'd rather not hit traffic."

He laughed. "It's a holiday, so there isn't going to be any traffic. Besides, you wound me. It's like you never want to be around me."

"Actually, I don't believe we've ever met."

"Oh no?" A step forward.

From behind me: "Is there a problem here, James?"

I turned to see Edward, shirtless and fuming, as he leaned against the doorjamb of the main entrance. He crossed his arms. "Well?"

James looked frustrated. "Seems you've got a good thing going for you, eh, Edward? A winning team and a little something on the side all at once?"

I blushed at his blatant perusal of our relationship.

Edward grew red too, but in anger. "I told you before, you're not only wrong, you're a disgusting piece of filth. Hanging around my dorm at daybreak for a glimpse of a little something? Mind your own business, Cooper."

"I'm a journalist, Cullen. My business is the truth, and if I have to sit on a grimy stoop for hours, I'll do it. You are putting this school's rank and reputation on the line with your debauchery."

"No, but I will hang your neck with the line if you don't get out of my face. Come near my Bella again, and you will snap." Edward uncrossed his arms and stepped onto the stone pavement.

James stumbled backward. "I used to think better of you, Cullen, or I wouldn't have approached you privately in hopes you'd make the right choice. Seems like heroes do fall."

He sprinted off, all while scribbling in his notepad.

My heart only beat faster as I turned to Edward and demanded, "What the hell was that about? What is it he knows?"

Edward stared at James' retreating back for a moment, eyes unfocused. "He's too nosy for his own good. Don't worry about him."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that he has suspicions without substantial evidence as well as a boatload of shit that's only going to sink soon. You should be getting home."

He pulled me forward to take my face in his hands.

"Edward?" I breathed.

"Yes?"

"You can tell me anything."

He smiled. "So can you."

"Can I?"

"Yes, but be warned that my bite is worse than my bark." He kissed my collarbone before scraping his teeth against my throat.

I punched him.

"Oy. I'll need that shoulder for next week's meet."

Feeling better about us, I kissed him lightly on the lips. "Goodbye then, my love."