In Other Words, Darling...

A/N: Toy Story? Yes, I was unwittingly lured into fandom territory by Toy Story 3. I got a big kick out of the last line in the epilogue: "Just go with it, Buzz." But it did get me thinking. I guess I could've taken a more serious look at this specific relationship tension that I see developing in the future, but a lighthearted take came much more naturally. I hope you'll find something to enjoy in this silly li'l piece. :)

-1-

"Well Buzz, if it's getting to you, why don't you just do something about it?"

"No," Buzz replied, lowering his gaze to the side a little. "It's perfectly...amenable," he looked Woody squarely in the eye, "to the ends of achieving desirable" – he coughed and looked away again – "results, on many occasions."

Woody rolled his eyes. They hadn't been discussing the matter for the last ten minutes just to wind up in the same circle over and over again. Woody pitied his best buddy's dysfunction just a little bit. "Buzz, just spit it out." Woody raised his voice a little. "Tell me why it bothers you. Isn't that why we're here, sipping pretend espresso..."

"It's good pretend espresso," Buzz postured.

"...while they're all over there having a good time..." Woody glanced across the room and waved slightly to acknowledge a group of toys playing a high-energy game of jump-rope on the bed.

Jessie removed her hat and waved it back wildly as she flipped upside down so as to be jumping on one hand. She indicated by gestures that Woody should get Buzz's attention too.

Buzz turned around cautiously, tossed a very awkward nod in Jessie's direction, and quickly turned his back again on the rest of the room, returning to the same tense sitting position as before.

"Aw, ya moron." Woody made to toss his cup full of a cappuccino-shaped plastic mold into Buzz's face, setting it upside down distastefully after nothing came out. He tapped his finger on the table, and glanced up to see a pensive expression overtaking Buzz.

Buzz was undoubtedly considering the events of the previous afternoon.

"Brrzzzzzz!" Little Bonnie spun around and around and around beneath a maple tree in the backyard. In one arm flew the horse that had grown wings – no, rocket packs – creating a blizzard of tornado flight enabling Jessie the Cowgirl's daring escape from Dolly the Witch. But the Witch's unicorn had wings AND a rocket pack, and so Jessie would be in trouble without an equally daring rescue.

Buzz Lightyear's wings and rocket packs were the fastest of all, and it was no problem for him to swoop in and fly Jessie and Bullseye to safety up in the nearest tree branch. Well, almost. Bonnie jumped, and jumped again, but she wasn't tall enough to reach even the lowest branch. So instead, the Witch accidentally spiraled into the base of the tree and was thereby defeated.

Woody the Sheriff was also a doctor, and so he stepped in to try and heal the witch before arresting her (although it remained to be seen whether magic healing worked in the same way as regular healing). Jessie was of course a cowgirl and a veterinarian, even of magical creatures like unicorns, so healing Buttercup would be no problem.

It was time for cookies, and Bonnie ran inside expounding to her mother what perfect timing it was, because the healing would take a little while and she'd have to wait anyway.

Buttercup and Dolly sat up and high-fived each other good-naturedly. Jessie smiled delicately after Bonnie for just a second, until she caught Buzz's eyes lingering on her cheeks and ponytail. At this, she sprang up and unleashed her energy into a full-force hug, squeezing Buzz's neck quite violently and then loosening her hold to plant a short, sweet, innocent kiss-on-the-cheek of gratitude.

Buzz's lips curled into a smile, half-cocked. "Ahem," he stammered. "You were...going pretty fast there. But of course, I was fast-er-"

Jessie rolled her eyes and whistled Bullseye over. She leapt on his back, and pulled Buzz onto the horse behind her. "Hah! You wanna see fast?" She elbowed Buzz in the rib. "Giddyap, Bullseye!"

Buzz felt the crispening October air in slabs upon his face, pulling his cheeks backward and making him dizzy. Sometimes, spacemen truly came from a different world than cowgirls. He reached instinctively for his space helmet button, but Jessie intuitively snatched his arm away from it without even having to look backwards.

She now turned around with a scolding, challenging smile. "None of that, now, pardner. Feel that air! Wooooo!"

Bullseye ran around and around the tree, in circles of increasing diameter. Faster and faster! Jessie suddenly dug her heels into Bullseye's side, and he stopped on a dime. She held on, giggling as Buzz went "flying" smack into the grassy lawn ahead of her.

Buzz sat up, dazed.

Woody, looking on from the base of the tree, couldn't resist the old joke. "Hey Buzz! Was that 'falling, with style'? Ahahaha."

Buzz curled his lip at Jessie, unsure whether to be upset with her, or welcome this as another helping of her signature brand of flirting.

Jessie winked in response. She turned to the other toys momentarily, then wheeled Bullseye around to be fully facing Buzz again. "HEY, I've got an idea!" She placed one hand on her hip and the other in the air ponderously. "If this Buzz can't handle horse ridin', maybe I should try...oh...Dunno..." She clapped her hands to a flamenco beat and snapped her fingers airily.

What Buzz regretfully remembered after that was his newfound equestrian skills taking the reins, compounded with an effortless serenade performed while standing backwards on the tip of Bullseye's nose. On one foot.

"Mi cielo, yo espero que pudiéremos montar a caballo juntos para siempre!"

Apparently, everyone present had been thoroughly impressed.

Woody tried to hold in a forthcoming guffaw as he observed Buzz flexing several facial expressions. He couldn't help but bring up the other recent incident, too: "Oh, and don't forget the other night, Buzz..."

Buzz had been delivering an important lecture to other battery-carrying toys on the differences between traditional batteries and built-in rechargeable battery cells. He'd been reading instruction manuals for a week in preparation, and had even managed to pull off a skilled heist in order to borrow a piece of equipment from Bonnie's mother's room.

"Now, I've already shown you how to plug in this Nintendo DS. Simple? Yes. What I'm going to show you next is an emerging technology that, although not yet equipped for our needs, is something that you should be aware - "

Buzz paused and glanced up. He had heard a distractingly enchanting giggle from somewhere high up above and behind him. He shrugged it off.

"Well here it is. A wireless charging pad. First, you plug this into the wall, just as before, and then, there's a small switch on the underside." Buzz lifted it up carefully and switched it on. The closer toys felt an enticing energy radiate from the charging pad as he set it back down level.

A hand waved in the audience. "Oo, oo, pardon me, I have a question!" It was Jessie. She popped up quickly, suddenly becoming visible in the small crowd.

Buzz blinked and became a tad flustered. "Er...yes? Let's pause and take this question for a moment, everyone."

Jessie grinned. "Can we also have this lecture..." She took a swift, bouncing stride forward. "...in..." She was in his face, upon him – no, behind him, tickling him? – "Spanish?"

The ensuing scene, involving the charging pad and a dusting of dandelion petals (courtesy of Bullseye), was coyly concealed behind Jessie's red hat, but would nonetheless go down in PG-12 history for some time in Bonnie's room.

Buzz had kind of liked that, in the end...but now was the time to snap out of his daze. "Okay, let's just suppose," he began, "That it causes me to feel..."

"Emasculated," interjected Woody casually.

Buzz glared. "...When she's able to control my whim at her every...whim." Buzz shoved his pretend coffee aside and scanned the table in front of him as if searching for some rather more eloquent words beneath where the cup had sat.

"El whipped-o Buzz-o?" Woody tested the waters, ready to chortle.

Buzz gave a sharp glare. "No! It's not like that." He paused, collecting his thoughts. "Oh, it just isn't fair! When Jess does that, she makes ME much more likeable to everyone than...than ME. Where is my intellect? My wit?" He sat back and considered this. "...I'm the one whose circuits are so malleable," he mourned with a flair of drama. "There's no helping that, I suppose. Jessie is just so...sturdy, " he blushed, "sure of herself, takes no direction and," he turned more serious, "is unable somehow to be penetrated in the very way that she can turn around and..."

Woody was suddenly howling with silent laughter and falling sideways off his chair.

"I mean, maybe she likes that Buzz more than she likes me..." Buzz trailed off quietly. After finally taking note of Woody's state, he simply raised an eyebrow and cleared his throat. He stood up to leave, finding the conversation becoming fruitless.

"Wait, Buzz!" Woody quickly flailed to a normal sitting position again. "I have an idea!"

Buzz considered this, but replied, "Thank you, Doctor Sheriff, but I have a course of action in mind."

Later that day, Woody lounged beneath the bed to beat the afternoon sunbeam heat. Even this late in the season, it tended to get warm in Bonnie's room. He was engaged in a game of checkers with Slinky Dog, just like old times. But this checkerboard had lava for red spaces and stepping stones for black spaces, and playing pieces shaped like little dinosaurs.

Woody captured a piece and placed it atop a plastic smoldering volcano accessory.

Slinky looked up sympathetically from the game board, addressing the piece that had been captured. "Doesn't do much in the way of cooling off for you little 'uns, now does it?" The tiny apatosaurus shook its head "no" regretfully.

Suddenly, a figure whooshed in from beyond the bed skirt, tucked and tumbled into a roll, and came to a halt with a tight grip on Woody's right shoulder.

Woody didn't look up from the board. "Yeah, what is it, Buzz," he said rotely.

"Woody, please allow me to hide here with you for the time being."

"Sure, Buddy. What's up?" Woody continued mechanically. "Wait...hide?"

"Jessie is looking for me, and she's got that rose in her hands. Blast! I won't have any more to do with my sexy alter ego until such time as I come to terms with this whole thing in my head, miss Jessie, and go back begging for another blazingly warm dance together!"

Woody looked personally affronted. "Buzz!" He gripped Buzz's shoulders and shook hard. "That is how you plan to deal with the situation?"

Buzz shrugged, glancing over his shoulder for any sign of Jessie.

"No" Woody scolded, rolling his eyes and then demanding Buzz's attention. He shook Buzz's shoulders and looked him in the eye. "Oh no no no you don't! Do you hear me?"

Slinky, in good faith as ever, took the opportunity to slink away and give the conversation some privacy. The dinosaur checkers leapt back into their box.

"Listen to me, Buzz. Avoiding Jessie is the worst thing you could do. If you're not going to talk to her about it..."

Buzz's face lit up at that idea, as if he hadn't even considered it yet.

"...Then I tell you, you should opt for harmless revenge. Show her how it feels, right?"

Buzz, calming down now, removed Woody's hands from his shoulders.

"Now Woody," Buzz said sensibly, brushing himself off. "Think back on your experiences and tell me on what grounds you can truly recommend that course of action."

Woody knew what Buzz was referring to, but that was such a long time ago. And a completely different situation. There had been that window, and that lamp, and everything had fallen into such ridiculous order that it was just like a script. Once-in-a-lifetime.

"I'm telling you, Buzz, just knock some sense into her. That's all it'll take. Listen, I'll tell you what to do. It'll be harmless fun..."