WARNING: Parts of this story contain very explicit sexual content.

Please do not read if you are underage.

**********Bella***********

I stood there at the very edge of the cliff waiting to hear the voice I craved. I stepped back preparing to throw myself forward when I heard it.

"Bella! Stop! You promised."

It was wrong though. It wasn't the velvety smooth voice of my delusions, it was the very real husky voice of someone else. Jacob. I tried to think quickly. Should I jump anyway? Would Edwards voice still reach me though our moment had been interrupted? I went for it, taking the last step of earth between me and the air, hurling my body with all my might- but warm strong hands grabbed me around my torso and yanked me back to the world.

"Jacob, let me go! I want to!"

"Bella, what the hell is wrong with you? I told you I would do this with you! You promised you would wait to do it with me, why would you even think about going by yourself? Haven't you noticed how rough the water has gotten? You would have been hurt, probably killed."

I wretched myself out of his hold and turned to face him. I was about to scream at him for interrupting my moment with his voice, moments were hard to come by, but then I saw his face. His eyes looked slightly red, had he been crying? Then panic. Had Victoria gotten to someone? I would never forgive myself if she killed or even hurt someone else while she sought out revenge on me. Laurent said that she thought it was only fair to kill Edward's mate since he killed hers. She didn't know that Edward no longer wanted me. I wasn't worthy of the revenge she sought.

"What happened?" I asked urgently. "Did Victoria..."

"No, no Bella, not Victoria. Harry Clearwater had a heart attack. It doesn't look good. Charlie's with him now."

"Oh no!" I melted into Jacobs arms. Relieved that Victoria hadn't done anything to hurt the people that I love. Saddened as I was snapped out of my own terrifying world and brought back to reality. Jacob held me tight as the rain started. He held me tighter as the rain and wind picked up. Finally, he whispered in my ear that he was taking me home. I stiffened, not wanting to move from that moment, but Jacob is strong and probably didn't even notice that I was trying to resist. He cradled me in his arms, hunching forward to keep as much rain off me as possible and took off through the woods back to my truck.

He set me in the passenger seat and climbed in behind the wheel. The ride home was silent, when I shivered, Jacob reached over and pulled me to the middle of the seat. Pushed up against him, with his arm around me I was warm. Jacob took such good care of me. He loved me.

I saw Charlie's cruiser in front of the house and my heart sank. Jacob held my hand as he walked me to the door. It was just like the hundreds of other times that he held my hand, he didn't expect anything back, but this time I think it meant more to me. Was it just gratitude for how much Jacob did for me? Was it just my need to be close to someone, anyone at all? No, not that- my feelings were specific to Jacob. But what then? I had to figure this out and quickly!

I opened the door and was nearly ran over by Charlie. "Bella." I saw it on his face, the pain of permenant loss. Harry was dead.

"Oh dad!" I rushed into his arms. He held me for a few moments, I could feel the weight of his sadness. I wished I knew what to say, but I know there is nothing, so I just clung to him as long as he seemed to need it. After a moment he loosened his grip on me.

"Bella, I need to head back to Sue's. She needs people around. There are arrangements to be made..." He stumbled through more, but he was somewhat incoherent.

"Go Dad, I'll be fine here with Jacob." My dad look gratefully at Jacob. I wasn't sure if I should be alone with Jacob. He and I had been together so much, it felt like our relationship was on the verge of a huge change and I didn't want change, change that I was sure would only hurt Jacob and pull him from my life. I couldn't burden my father right now, I would just have to be careful.

As my dad left, I headed back toward the kitchen. The sadness on Charlie's face was haunting me. What was I thinking? How could I have been so reckless, taking such risks. Had something happened to me, Charlie would be devastated. That was it, no more stupid stuff. The addiction of my delusions was broken. The hole in my heart ached as I thought of cutting myself off from my drug of choice, my adrenaline fueled delusions of Edward. I would have to stop, I wasn't the only person in the world who felt pain and I couldn't be the cause of my father's.

Jacob followed me back to the kitchen. The phone on the wall rang, just as he passed it.

"Swann residence" I watched him answer our phone, waiting for him to respond. The caller must have asked for Charlie, "He's not here, he's...planning a funeral. Can I have him call you?" I heard the line go dead.

"Who was that?"

"Not sure, they hung up." He shrugged his shoulders and came closer to me as I leaned against the sink. He reached his hand out taking mine, just as he had done so many times before. A comfortable guesture. It wasn't comfortable anymore. I'm sure it was the same for him, but for me- it asked questions that I couldn't answer.

I looked at Jacob, the questions whirling in my head. Jake looked into my eyes and he must have seen the uncertainty, the weakness. He saw an opportunity. He leaned down towards me, his hands came up to catch my face. I hadn't finished thinking this through, I didn't know which direction I wanted to go. How can I slow the world down?

************Author's note****************

Thanks for reading my story, I was always kind of disappointed that Jacob never had a chance. I'm not positive which direction I am going with this, but feel free to make suggestions!

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