The RANDOMNESS! Matrix:
The MOVIE!
"Follow the white rabbit? What the hell?" I asked my computer who only responded with green letters and porn, which wasn't mine. "Damn thing! What is this the 60's? I don't want a rabbit!" I yelled hitting the computer hard over the head. But as I was pounding the crap out of my computer there was a knock at the door. Quickly I put on some pants and grabbed the disk from my hard drive. I opened the door of my shabby apartment and saw the guys who were buying my virus. No Umbrella needed, it was not raining...yet...Damn that was a horrible pun! Any way...The guy with spiky brown hair and a stupid look on his face smiled looking at the disk.
"Hey I asked for a donut! Nea! What the hell?" Chris The idiot Redfield replied back. Luckily he was playing a character who only lasted 5 minutes into the movie.
"CHRIS!" I hissed. "Remember your lines!" I yelled death glaring him.
He gulped and then pulled the script out of his back pants pocket, "Oh yeah! Right! Wait! I'm not asking a 16 year old...15 year old to go to a club with me! I'm a cop!" He argued and my eyes started to glow red.
"You'll read the damn script or I'll send you back to your world with a red ass!" I yelled folding my arms.
Chris grumbled then cleared his throat, "Hey Nea you know you been working to hard recently, you should take a load off. Come party with us?" Chris finally said his line and hugged the stunt girls around him.
"No thanks." I waved my hand. "I got work tomorrow." I replied in my Neo copy voice.
"Suit yourself." Chris read off then turned and left my apartment.
I sighed glad that scene was over and went to sit back in my apartment. My name was Nea and I was a new age hacker with a double life. I had been having weird dreams or really nightmares of a Resident Evil movie rip off with a girl named Alice. Of course I killed Alice many times because ANYBODY even bloody Kenneth could kill her. I sighed hoping I didn't have another nightmare like that. I then looked at my clock and thought, 'What the hell? I'll have a good time.' After that I grabbed my lousy brown jacket and headed outside.
It was a few minutes before I was at the club that was blaring 'Breaking Benjamin' and 'Evanescence' and I was drinking my guts out. It was a few minutes later before I bumped into an asian woman with a leather black dress on.
"Hey." She said seductively scaring me.
"Um...hi." I waved with the hand not holding a scotch.
"Follow me." She purred and I cringed.
"Why the hell would I do that?" I asked staying put.
"Because I have a white rabbit on my ass." She replied making me tilt my head.
"How the heck was I supposed to know that?" I said blinking at the thought and not going near the image of Ada's ass...I mean Trinity's ass...I mean strange lady's ass. OH YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!
"You were supposed to look. Now are you going to follow me or not?" She asked folding her arms.
"Um...I guess. Just keep in mind I'm no lesbo lady. I really have no idea why some one would get a white rabbit tattoo on their butt and expect people to follow them. It makes no sense." I said shaking my head as I followed her outside into...the rain. Great now I need an Umbrella...I hate Umbrella...I mean Umbrellas.
"You wrote the script Jamy I'm just following the act." Ada shrugged and got into the cab me right behind her.
"Shut up Ada! I MEAN TRINTY! God this isn't going as good as I hoped. Maybe I should just cut to the chase." I sighed putting my head in my hands as I sat in the cab.
"Well what do you expect. These guys are a bunch of idiots...maybe you should just cut to the chase." Ada...TRINITY DAMN IT! Then lit a cig and puffed a cloud of smoke making me cough. She offered me one but I shook my head.
"Fine I'll cut to the chase." I sighed.
Cutting to the chase later...
I then followed Trinity out of the cab and we walked into an old abandon building that was falling apart as I narrated. We walked up the stairs, panty shots being visible from where I walked behind her. 'Mental note, cast Leon as Trinity next time.' I thought as Trinity then opened the doors to a lounge area with two chairs. Lightning struck outside the huge windows as I walked in and Trinity shut the doors leaving behind me. There was a form which I could not see sitting in one of the chairs.
"Ah! Nea its nice to finally see you face to face." I heard Wesker...Morpheus purr from the chair. (Yes I had to give Wesker that position...Hehehehe.)
"You haven't seen my face yet you idiot!" I growled walking over and taking a seat in the other leather chair.
"Now I have." Wes...Morpheus said sitting Gendo pose in... AN ALL WHITE SUIT?
"What the hell Wesker! I said wear your leather combat suit! What the heck is that?" I yelled standing up anger rising inside of me to throw something large and explosive at his head.
"Oh...I must have miss heard. This is what I was forced to wear to Chris' wedding. It doesn't fit me does it?" Wesker said looking at the suit not paying any attention to me.
"GO PUT ON YOUR DAMN COMBAT SUIT IDIOT!" I yelled jumping up and down sparks flying off my head.
"Yes..yes. It is your movie." Wesker said nodding and getting up from his seat. He opened the door, closed it, then opened it again wearing his combat suit from RE 5. "Better?" He asked sitting back down and crossing his legs with that I'm-a-bad-ass-fear-me look.
"Yes..much." I then took a deep breath and sat back down drinking some of the tea on the table then spitting it out. "What is this is?" I asked pointing to the tea cup in my hand.
"Black coffee, I do not like tea." Wesker said folding his arms and messing with his sunglasses.
My mouth flew open and I face palmed myself, 'Worst movie parody ever.' I thought shaking my head then sitting the tea back down.
"Okay ...okay none of that happened. Lets start over." I said waving my hand and messaging my temples.
"Very well...ahem. Ah! Nea its nice to finally meet you face to face." Morpheus said motioning me to sit even though I already was.
"Why am I here? Who are you?" I asked actually remembering my script.
"My name is Morpheus and you are here because you are The One." He explained sitting forward me seeing my reflection in his sunglasses.
"The One? What kind of joke is this?" My voice was reflecting my disbelief now as I sat uncomfortably.
"This is not a joke Nea. You are The One...who will kill Alice and rid us of that horrible rip off movie. If you do not I...I mean a man named Wesker will have taken over the world and infected ever one with a deadly virus...Wait? Whats so bad about that? I kinda like the sound of that future." Morpheus said as I glared daggers at him.
"Keep reading." I growled under grinding teeth.
"Alice will then destroy all hopes for peace in the future of evolved and superior life forms such as ourselves. This Wesker fellow is misunderstood and a very nice God." Morpheus said smiling.
"What? THATS NOT IN THE SCRIPT WESKER!" I yelled jumping up and looking at the rewrites on Wesker's script that was sitting on the table between us.
"Oh but it is Boyd." Wesker chuckled and my eyes began to blaze.
"BOOT TO THE HEAD!" I yelled throwing the shoe I had on at Wesker, him dodging and getting said shoe lodged into the leather chair.
"Temper temper Boyd." He chuckled grabbing the shoe and throwing it back at me. I however could not dodge and was hit getting a red shoe shaped red spot on my head. I rubbed my head and growled as I sat back down giving up.
"Fine whatever! Lets just get to the pill scene!" I yelled Wesker then grabbing something from his pockets.
He then opened both his palms and instead of pills two syringes lied there. "Ouroboros or The Progenitor Virus. Which ever you pick will decide you fate. Well...really wither or not you have tentacles." He said and my fist caught on fire from rage.
"THATS IT!" I then got up and threw the two syringes out the window. "I GIVE UP! I'm going home!" I yelled stomping out of the building and grabbing a cab.
Wesker then stood up and Ada along with Chris joined him, "Do you think that gave them enough time?" He asked looking at Ada and Chris.
"Those idiots, no way." Ada said shaking her head.
Chris shrugged as he stared at Ada's ass, "Hey look a bunny!"
*Reviewers Corner*
Next episode will be devoted to questions so leave all questions for the next episode...BEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
(Short I know but blame the actors! R&R please!)