One Moment of Weakness.
A/N: I was working on a different fic when this popped in my head. It refused to go away (glares at idea) so I typed it up.
It's my first serious fic, so if there's anything resembling humour, that's normal. And in case you don't know, it's
Quirrell's POV.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Not mine, not the characters nor the animals. Death belongs to himself, but this part of his personality belongs
to Terry Pratchett.
We lost. Well, there's no 'we' anymore. He left me, abandoned me, left me to die here, in this sorry excuse for a dungeon.
It's amazing how clear your mind gets when you're about to die, or maybe that's because he has left me. For good. On the
other side of the room lies the boy, Harry, the one who caused this. My hands are red, blistered and my neck feels strange,
like someone tried to strangle me. Perhaps I deserved it, serving him all that time, maybe I don't deserve to die like this.
I hear footsteps, and I'm relieved. They're going to safe me, I'm going to be alright, I'll live to see another day. It's
Albus and he makes Harry float with magic. Probably the Leviatus spell, or maybe something gentler. But what am I worrying
about spells for, he should cast one on me. I try to speak, but all that comes out is a hoarse sound. He turns to look at
me. The friendly twinkle in his eyes are gone, replaced by a ice-like coldness. He walks out, taking Harry with him, leaving
me behind, to die.
I never thought it would end like this, I assumed we'd succeed, like he had promised me so long ago. It seems like years,
but it's only been several months. Now that he's out of me, I can think straighter than before, and it all comes back to
me. The way he deceived me, charmed me into believing him. Being under his possesion clouded my mind, though somehow I knew
what I was doing, it's hard to describe. I can't help but to remember how this nightmare started, though at the start I
thought it was a dream come true.
(Start flashback)
I walked through the forest, trying to find my way on the muddy path. It had been raining for the past week and it's still
clouded. I curse myself for wearing a robe, since Muggle-like pants would've been more convenient in this wilderness than
something that makes you trip. My bag weighs heavily on my shoulders, no wonder, I tried to take as many books with me as
could, and for what? There's no need for it here, I should've taken more food supplies, or something useful.
And that's why I'm here, because I didn't feel useful enough at Hogwarts. Sure, teaching young children to defend themselves
against Dark Arts is very important, but I felt they needed to have a teacher who knew what he was talking about, so I
decided to take a year off, and do some field-work. I heard there was a small town in Albania, being plagued by some strange
attacks from an unknown creature, so I decided it was time for me to get my hands dirty. I didn't know then I would get my
hands literally dirty. Damn mud.
I talked to the villagers a couple days ago, and they were all very scared. Some of them were wizards, and they told me in
private that they had no idea what this creature could be. They seemed quite relieved when I told I was a Defence teacher at
Hogwarts and wished me the best luck, I would need it.
It's been three days since I left the village, and there's no trace of any creature, magical or not, not even birds fly
through the forest. I'm tired, I'm dirty and I've had enough of this nonsense. I swear, if I don't see any animal tomorrow,
I'm going back, back to Hogwarts, back to teaching. I continue to struggle through the woods, my robe getting caught in
branches more times than I can count, but it's all worth it, because after I free my clothes for the umpteenth time, I see
another living creature. A wolf.
I back away, the normal reaction for anyone. It's not a werewolf, that's a relief. The animal doesn't seem hostile though,
it just sits there, watching me. It stands up, and walks into the trees, stopping to look over its shoulder. Does it want me
to follow? The wolf takes some more steps, looks at me and growls. The sound sends shivers down my spine and I decide to
follow. Of course, I have my wand ready and try memorise the Stunning spell. Wasn't it Petrificus something? I really should've
brushed up on those spells before I left.
After walking for several hours we have reached a small cave. The wolf stops, and sits down next to the opening. Assuming it
wants me to enter, I walk into the darkness, after lighting my wand with the useful 'Lumos' charm. I look around carefully,
I don't want to walk into boobytraps or wild animals. After a while I meet the scariest creature I've ever seen, an
Acromantula, a huge spider. Poisonous as well. For a moment I'm frozen to my spot, then I run away from the beast. The wolf
that lead me here however, growls at me when I try to exit the cave. Wonderful.
I walked back, the wolf behind every step, growling. I end up where I ran away, a few meet away from the spider. The wolf
backs away, from me and the Acromantula. Well, what can I do now? Face the wolf or kill the spider. I never thought I'd say
this, but the wolf definately seems like a good option right now. Stunning would be good now. I face the wolf, draw my wand
and prepare the Petrificus curse, but then I hear something I never expected a spider to say. Meaning, I never expected a
spider to say anything.
"Don't."
Naturally, I was shocked, surprised, that sort of thing. I dropped my wand and stared at the spider.
"Never heard a spider speak before, human?" The huge beast sounded somewhat... amused.
"N-not r-really." I managed to get out. Great, I haven't stuttered since I was 15, and now it's coming back.
"You don't come out enough for a wizard of your potential."
My potential? Who made Acromantulas experts in wizard potential? "Uhm, I s-studied a lot from books." Lame explanation, well
done 'professor'.
The spider made some sort of chuckle sound. "And you have decided to grace me with your company? How thoughtful."
"Er, I was sort of brought by the wolf." I explained.
"Ah, Meldrik, my servant. I don't go out a lot, and he brings me food every now and then and I don't kill him or any of his
pack. A good deal, don't you think?"
An Acromantula and a wolf making a deal? This is fascinating. I should've done this ages ago. "If I may ask, why don't you
go out a lot?"
The spider hissed, a low, threatening sound. "An encounter with a young wizard, younger than you. He hurt me a lot more than
any human has ever dared. I am recovering here, and plan revenge." The creature looked hateful.
"I see. So, any idea why Meldrik brought me here?" I asked, trying to be casual. Don't let me be dinner, don't let me be
dinner.
The spider regained its amused look. "He obviously thought you could be of help. Wolves are more intelligent than humans
think. I suspect he knew you were a wizard, and a possible aide to my cause."
"Cause?"
"Revenge on the young wizard."
"Ah." I thought for a moment. "Do you know the name of this wizard?"
"Of course. His name is like poison to me and the mere thought of the little one brings me great pain. Little Harry Potter."
The two words hit me like a ton of bricks, immediately I realised who I was facing. The Dark Lord. You-Know-Who, He-who-must-
not-be-named.
"You, being a wizard, must be smart enough to know who I am?" You-Know-Who asked.
I nodded, terrified. This is the end, I am dead.
"Yet you do not attempt to kill me, or run away. I wonder why?" The spider looked thoughtful. I merely waited, for the kill.
This is not how I planned my life. I was supposed to die happy, with a family, old and not in a cave with the evilest wizard
ever. "Perhaps you do not know a curse sufficient and powerful enough to do so. Wouldn't you want to?" The voice sounded
friendly, surprising for someone evil.
"No. I've never wanted to kill anyone." I said, sounding more secure than I really am.
"I don't believe you. Anyone has someone they'd rather see dead. A bully from your past? Someone stronger, who used to beat
you into a bloody pulp every now and then?" The spider came closer.
"No one." Except for a dozen Slytherins who kept tackling me, year after year after year. Did I mention they imitated my
'charming' stutter?
"I hear doubt, human. I am convinced there is an urge to kill in every human."
"That would be evil." Right, be all childish in front of someone who has killed thousands.
The spider chuckled again. "Evil does not exist, young wizard. There is no good, nor is there evil. There is only power, and
those too weak to seek it. Are you weak?"
I remained silent for a while. "Y-Y-You're wrong." Must be the bravest thing I ever did, standing up to a Dark Wizard.
"Lord Voldemort is NEVER wrong. Think about it. Why do I wish to kill everyone? Not because I'm evil, but because I deserve
power more than the weaklings that have it now. Dumbledore and his cult don't deserve power like I do. I worked hard to
achieve what I was, while they just got everything handed to them on a silver plate." He sounded bitter. "Can't you think
of someone who achieved success and glory, undeserved? There are thousands of examples. It's all about power and the desire
to get it."
Examples of powerful people, undeserved. Well, there's halve the Ministry of Magic, most of them get their position because
of their parents' influence. Wait, I shouldn't think like this, it's You-Know-Who! Don't listen to him...
"Just imagine, young wizard. Accept me, and I will give you riches, glory, fame, everything you desire. What's your current
job?"
"Defence Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts." I replied, automatically.
"Hogwarts..." You-Know-Who looked deep in thought. "What better way to gain glory than by ridding Hogwarts of those unworthy?
People will respect you more than they do now, you're only a teacher." He spat out the last word.
True, a teaching job never gets a lot of respect, but it's what I've always wanted, teaching young children to use their
magic, helping them achieve their dreams and goals. But what about my goals and dreams? Can't I try to achieve my dream?
Glory, fame, wealth. A vision of a vault filled with galleons danced before my eyes.
"What do you say, how about it? Together we would be unstoppable, a team. You, as my right hand will rule with me over every
wizard in the entire world." The Acromantula came closer, only a few feet away from my face. It's hard to think when you
look into the eyes of a creature like that. I realise what I'm about to do. I can be responsible for the bringing of the
Second Dark Age, a second ruling by You-Know-Who. Still, how bad can it be? I'd be in control, it wouldn't be as bad as
before...
"Do you accept me as your lord and master?" The Acromantula looked more serious and threatening than ever.
I swallow. "Yes."
"I need you to state it, officially."
"I will accept you as my lord and master, Lord Voldemort." I never expected I'd say those words, and it's too late to stop
now. The spider grins and stretches its front paws to the sides of my head.
The next thing I remember is feeling like my mind is pushed back and its place taken by someone else. I explore the back of
my head with my hands. I feel a flat nose and a pair of eyes. "I needed some place to stay." A voice comes within my mind.
"And as a warning, look at what became of my previous host." I look at the Acromantula. It's hardly breathing, blood
streaming from its body. "It'll die within minutes, a slow agonizing death. Unless you want the same fate happen to you, I
suggest you get on your way back to Hogwarts. And find something to cover me up." I nodded and walked out the cave, Meldrik
sitting like he was petrified.
(End flashback)
Now I realise I'm like the spider, dying a painful lonely death, while He still lives. It's unfair, but then again, so is
life. I still think he was wrong. There is good and evil, and at the end of the day, good will triumph over evil, just like
Harry triumphed over me. A part of me is relieved at my defeat, at the Dark Lord's defeat. At least thousands of lifes have
been spared, even it means I have to die.
I see a dark figure, in a long black robe, carrying a scythe. My mind puts the pieces together. "You're Death." Surprisingly
audible, compared to the hoarse sound I uttered to Ablus.
The robed figure nods. "QUITE RIGHT."
I look back at my body. It looks awful, bloody and red. A part of me wonders how they'll clean it up for the funeral. Then
again, that's none of my worry. "Why don't I feel sad, or happy, or anything at all?" I ask, expecting I should think of
something else than funerals.
Death shrugged. "EMOTIONS ARE ALL A MATTER OF GLANDS. YOU'RE LACKING THEM."
Well, that's reasonable I supposed, it's only fair. "Just one more thing. Where do I go? Heaven or Hell?"
"WHAT HAPPENS NEXT IS ENTIRELY UP TO YOU. IT ALWAYS IS."
"Up to me? Are you saying I can become a ghost?"
Death looks surprisingly thoughtful for a walking and talking skeleton. "I SUPPOSE SO, IF YOU HAVE ANY UNFINISHED BUSINESS
LEFT ON THIS PLANE."
I remember the dark, ghostly figure escaping up the stairs. I recall how He charmed me, and how he can charm anyone else He
desires. The many deaths in his first reign. The constant fear. And how that could have returned because of me. I face
Death, for the first time. "I think I have a lot of unfinished business to do. A lot of making up."
A/N: I was working on a different fic when this popped in my head. It refused to go away (glares at idea) so I typed it up.
It's my first serious fic, so if there's anything resembling humour, that's normal. And in case you don't know, it's
Quirrell's POV.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Not mine, not the characters nor the animals. Death belongs to himself, but this part of his personality belongs
to Terry Pratchett.
We lost. Well, there's no 'we' anymore. He left me, abandoned me, left me to die here, in this sorry excuse for a dungeon.
It's amazing how clear your mind gets when you're about to die, or maybe that's because he has left me. For good. On the
other side of the room lies the boy, Harry, the one who caused this. My hands are red, blistered and my neck feels strange,
like someone tried to strangle me. Perhaps I deserved it, serving him all that time, maybe I don't deserve to die like this.
I hear footsteps, and I'm relieved. They're going to safe me, I'm going to be alright, I'll live to see another day. It's
Albus and he makes Harry float with magic. Probably the Leviatus spell, or maybe something gentler. But what am I worrying
about spells for, he should cast one on me. I try to speak, but all that comes out is a hoarse sound. He turns to look at
me. The friendly twinkle in his eyes are gone, replaced by a ice-like coldness. He walks out, taking Harry with him, leaving
me behind, to die.
I never thought it would end like this, I assumed we'd succeed, like he had promised me so long ago. It seems like years,
but it's only been several months. Now that he's out of me, I can think straighter than before, and it all comes back to
me. The way he deceived me, charmed me into believing him. Being under his possesion clouded my mind, though somehow I knew
what I was doing, it's hard to describe. I can't help but to remember how this nightmare started, though at the start I
thought it was a dream come true.
(Start flashback)
I walked through the forest, trying to find my way on the muddy path. It had been raining for the past week and it's still
clouded. I curse myself for wearing a robe, since Muggle-like pants would've been more convenient in this wilderness than
something that makes you trip. My bag weighs heavily on my shoulders, no wonder, I tried to take as many books with me as
could, and for what? There's no need for it here, I should've taken more food supplies, or something useful.
And that's why I'm here, because I didn't feel useful enough at Hogwarts. Sure, teaching young children to defend themselves
against Dark Arts is very important, but I felt they needed to have a teacher who knew what he was talking about, so I
decided to take a year off, and do some field-work. I heard there was a small town in Albania, being plagued by some strange
attacks from an unknown creature, so I decided it was time for me to get my hands dirty. I didn't know then I would get my
hands literally dirty. Damn mud.
I talked to the villagers a couple days ago, and they were all very scared. Some of them were wizards, and they told me in
private that they had no idea what this creature could be. They seemed quite relieved when I told I was a Defence teacher at
Hogwarts and wished me the best luck, I would need it.
It's been three days since I left the village, and there's no trace of any creature, magical or not, not even birds fly
through the forest. I'm tired, I'm dirty and I've had enough of this nonsense. I swear, if I don't see any animal tomorrow,
I'm going back, back to Hogwarts, back to teaching. I continue to struggle through the woods, my robe getting caught in
branches more times than I can count, but it's all worth it, because after I free my clothes for the umpteenth time, I see
another living creature. A wolf.
I back away, the normal reaction for anyone. It's not a werewolf, that's a relief. The animal doesn't seem hostile though,
it just sits there, watching me. It stands up, and walks into the trees, stopping to look over its shoulder. Does it want me
to follow? The wolf takes some more steps, looks at me and growls. The sound sends shivers down my spine and I decide to
follow. Of course, I have my wand ready and try memorise the Stunning spell. Wasn't it Petrificus something? I really should've
brushed up on those spells before I left.
After walking for several hours we have reached a small cave. The wolf stops, and sits down next to the opening. Assuming it
wants me to enter, I walk into the darkness, after lighting my wand with the useful 'Lumos' charm. I look around carefully,
I don't want to walk into boobytraps or wild animals. After a while I meet the scariest creature I've ever seen, an
Acromantula, a huge spider. Poisonous as well. For a moment I'm frozen to my spot, then I run away from the beast. The wolf
that lead me here however, growls at me when I try to exit the cave. Wonderful.
I walked back, the wolf behind every step, growling. I end up where I ran away, a few meet away from the spider. The wolf
backs away, from me and the Acromantula. Well, what can I do now? Face the wolf or kill the spider. I never thought I'd say
this, but the wolf definately seems like a good option right now. Stunning would be good now. I face the wolf, draw my wand
and prepare the Petrificus curse, but then I hear something I never expected a spider to say. Meaning, I never expected a
spider to say anything.
"Don't."
Naturally, I was shocked, surprised, that sort of thing. I dropped my wand and stared at the spider.
"Never heard a spider speak before, human?" The huge beast sounded somewhat... amused.
"N-not r-really." I managed to get out. Great, I haven't stuttered since I was 15, and now it's coming back.
"You don't come out enough for a wizard of your potential."
My potential? Who made Acromantulas experts in wizard potential? "Uhm, I s-studied a lot from books." Lame explanation, well
done 'professor'.
The spider made some sort of chuckle sound. "And you have decided to grace me with your company? How thoughtful."
"Er, I was sort of brought by the wolf." I explained.
"Ah, Meldrik, my servant. I don't go out a lot, and he brings me food every now and then and I don't kill him or any of his
pack. A good deal, don't you think?"
An Acromantula and a wolf making a deal? This is fascinating. I should've done this ages ago. "If I may ask, why don't you
go out a lot?"
The spider hissed, a low, threatening sound. "An encounter with a young wizard, younger than you. He hurt me a lot more than
any human has ever dared. I am recovering here, and plan revenge." The creature looked hateful.
"I see. So, any idea why Meldrik brought me here?" I asked, trying to be casual. Don't let me be dinner, don't let me be
dinner.
The spider regained its amused look. "He obviously thought you could be of help. Wolves are more intelligent than humans
think. I suspect he knew you were a wizard, and a possible aide to my cause."
"Cause?"
"Revenge on the young wizard."
"Ah." I thought for a moment. "Do you know the name of this wizard?"
"Of course. His name is like poison to me and the mere thought of the little one brings me great pain. Little Harry Potter."
The two words hit me like a ton of bricks, immediately I realised who I was facing. The Dark Lord. You-Know-Who, He-who-must-
not-be-named.
"You, being a wizard, must be smart enough to know who I am?" You-Know-Who asked.
I nodded, terrified. This is the end, I am dead.
"Yet you do not attempt to kill me, or run away. I wonder why?" The spider looked thoughtful. I merely waited, for the kill.
This is not how I planned my life. I was supposed to die happy, with a family, old and not in a cave with the evilest wizard
ever. "Perhaps you do not know a curse sufficient and powerful enough to do so. Wouldn't you want to?" The voice sounded
friendly, surprising for someone evil.
"No. I've never wanted to kill anyone." I said, sounding more secure than I really am.
"I don't believe you. Anyone has someone they'd rather see dead. A bully from your past? Someone stronger, who used to beat
you into a bloody pulp every now and then?" The spider came closer.
"No one." Except for a dozen Slytherins who kept tackling me, year after year after year. Did I mention they imitated my
'charming' stutter?
"I hear doubt, human. I am convinced there is an urge to kill in every human."
"That would be evil." Right, be all childish in front of someone who has killed thousands.
The spider chuckled again. "Evil does not exist, young wizard. There is no good, nor is there evil. There is only power, and
those too weak to seek it. Are you weak?"
I remained silent for a while. "Y-Y-You're wrong." Must be the bravest thing I ever did, standing up to a Dark Wizard.
"Lord Voldemort is NEVER wrong. Think about it. Why do I wish to kill everyone? Not because I'm evil, but because I deserve
power more than the weaklings that have it now. Dumbledore and his cult don't deserve power like I do. I worked hard to
achieve what I was, while they just got everything handed to them on a silver plate." He sounded bitter. "Can't you think
of someone who achieved success and glory, undeserved? There are thousands of examples. It's all about power and the desire
to get it."
Examples of powerful people, undeserved. Well, there's halve the Ministry of Magic, most of them get their position because
of their parents' influence. Wait, I shouldn't think like this, it's You-Know-Who! Don't listen to him...
"Just imagine, young wizard. Accept me, and I will give you riches, glory, fame, everything you desire. What's your current
job?"
"Defence Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts." I replied, automatically.
"Hogwarts..." You-Know-Who looked deep in thought. "What better way to gain glory than by ridding Hogwarts of those unworthy?
People will respect you more than they do now, you're only a teacher." He spat out the last word.
True, a teaching job never gets a lot of respect, but it's what I've always wanted, teaching young children to use their
magic, helping them achieve their dreams and goals. But what about my goals and dreams? Can't I try to achieve my dream?
Glory, fame, wealth. A vision of a vault filled with galleons danced before my eyes.
"What do you say, how about it? Together we would be unstoppable, a team. You, as my right hand will rule with me over every
wizard in the entire world." The Acromantula came closer, only a few feet away from my face. It's hard to think when you
look into the eyes of a creature like that. I realise what I'm about to do. I can be responsible for the bringing of the
Second Dark Age, a second ruling by You-Know-Who. Still, how bad can it be? I'd be in control, it wouldn't be as bad as
before...
"Do you accept me as your lord and master?" The Acromantula looked more serious and threatening than ever.
I swallow. "Yes."
"I need you to state it, officially."
"I will accept you as my lord and master, Lord Voldemort." I never expected I'd say those words, and it's too late to stop
now. The spider grins and stretches its front paws to the sides of my head.
The next thing I remember is feeling like my mind is pushed back and its place taken by someone else. I explore the back of
my head with my hands. I feel a flat nose and a pair of eyes. "I needed some place to stay." A voice comes within my mind.
"And as a warning, look at what became of my previous host." I look at the Acromantula. It's hardly breathing, blood
streaming from its body. "It'll die within minutes, a slow agonizing death. Unless you want the same fate happen to you, I
suggest you get on your way back to Hogwarts. And find something to cover me up." I nodded and walked out the cave, Meldrik
sitting like he was petrified.
(End flashback)
Now I realise I'm like the spider, dying a painful lonely death, while He still lives. It's unfair, but then again, so is
life. I still think he was wrong. There is good and evil, and at the end of the day, good will triumph over evil, just like
Harry triumphed over me. A part of me is relieved at my defeat, at the Dark Lord's defeat. At least thousands of lifes have
been spared, even it means I have to die.
I see a dark figure, in a long black robe, carrying a scythe. My mind puts the pieces together. "You're Death." Surprisingly
audible, compared to the hoarse sound I uttered to Ablus.
The robed figure nods. "QUITE RIGHT."
I look back at my body. It looks awful, bloody and red. A part of me wonders how they'll clean it up for the funeral. Then
again, that's none of my worry. "Why don't I feel sad, or happy, or anything at all?" I ask, expecting I should think of
something else than funerals.
Death shrugged. "EMOTIONS ARE ALL A MATTER OF GLANDS. YOU'RE LACKING THEM."
Well, that's reasonable I supposed, it's only fair. "Just one more thing. Where do I go? Heaven or Hell?"
"WHAT HAPPENS NEXT IS ENTIRELY UP TO YOU. IT ALWAYS IS."
"Up to me? Are you saying I can become a ghost?"
Death looks surprisingly thoughtful for a walking and talking skeleton. "I SUPPOSE SO, IF YOU HAVE ANY UNFINISHED BUSINESS
LEFT ON THIS PLANE."
I remember the dark, ghostly figure escaping up the stairs. I recall how He charmed me, and how he can charm anyone else He
desires. The many deaths in his first reign. The constant fear. And how that could have returned because of me. I face
Death, for the first time. "I think I have a lot of unfinished business to do. A lot of making up."