A Memory I Can Hold

CH 14

A Strand of Orange

"Mommy, are you alright?"

Ichigo smiled at his son as he pushed himself away from the wall. He had finally been given the okay to walk a week ago after a month with bed rest, but was ordered to have someone by his side since he was still weak and unsteady. But Ichigo, being a stubborn person disregarded his orders. Currently Ichigo found himself trying to steady himself against the bedroom's wall as his legs shook.

"Umm Takeshi, can you call your father?"

"No need." Grimmjow appeared at the bedroom's door and took a hold of the orange haired man before his legs gave out. "Why don't you ever listen? You're gonna end up hurting yourself more."

Ichigo pouted and pushed a stray strand of orange hair out of his face and behind his ear.

"Well I didn't know if you were busy and I wanted to go outside."

Grimmjow sighed but carried the shorter man to the small green area out back with Takeshi silently following behind. Ichigo let out a sigh of content as a breeze brushed his body and the grass tickled his skin.

"I rarely got to see or feel anything that wasn't a part of that cell." the shinigami mumbled. It struck a pang of guilt in the espada's chest. Grimmjow watched his son roll around in the grass and snuggled into the earth making his mother laugh. The teal haired man couldn't resist grabbing a long strand of orange hair that fell in the other man's face. In turn Ichigo turned to look at Grimmjow.

"You don't like it, do you?"

Grimmjow leaned on the shorter man and continued playing with the orange hair. "Hmm, no, it's not that. It suits you. Long or short hair, either style your still going to be gorgeous. I actually like running my hand through it." the espada nuzzled his face into the crook of Ichigo's neck.

A light blush adorned Ichigo's cheeks. "Suits me? Are you implying I'm girly?"

Grimmjow suppressed a chuckle. "That's not what I meant at all."

"Yeah right. Grimm, you say the most embarrassing things." Ichigo shivered as a light nip to his ear was dealt and a hand placed itself over his bare chest where the white yukata didn't cover.

"Can I kiss you?"

Ichigo looked at the serious face that the other man was giving him. "You're actually asking?"

The espada nodded.

Ichigo sighed. "You don't have to ask Grimmjow. Can't you just treat me like you used to eight years ago instead of a fragile nuisance? I feel like we're strangers with ourselves at times." The man rubbed his arm where bandages covered a deep gash.

"It's not the same. You need to give me time. It's hard for me to act like there's nothing wrong when I-"

"When you look at me."

Grimmjow froze.

"It's not like I haven't noticed that every time you look at me you get this guilty look in your eyes and most of the time you're awkward around me. D-Did I do something wrong?"

Takeshi watched his parents closely before his father asked him to go back inside which he reluctantly did. As soon as the child was out of earshot the espada answered.

"I'm not going to lie. I do feel guilt when I look at you, but that's because each time I see you covered in bandages I blame myself for you being in that condition. I don't know how to react around you because I have no idea what's going on in your head, if there's any doubt, and where the hell did you get the idea that you did something wrong?" By the end of his rant, Grimmjow's voice had taken a 180 turn from soft and worried to confused and ticked off. A fine blue eyebrow twitched.

Ichigo stared at the man with a blank face but to the espada it looked like he said something wrong and the shinigami was ready to burst into tears.

"Look Ichigo I-"

Suddenly that wonderful sound broke out and rang throughout the yard. The sound was rough from years of not being used but at the same time it was music to Grimmjow's ears.

Ichigo's laugh had a soft undertone to it that mixed perfectly with the warmth it radiated. It was the complete opposite of Grimmjow's deep and strong laugh.

"I-Ichigo are you alright?" the sixth espada asked nervously.

"Owowowow." mumbled the orange haired man with a smile. "You really are an idiot Grimm."

"Are you sure-What the hell did you just say?" Grimmjow half glared at the grinning shinigami.

"I'm sorry, but right now for the first time since you took me out of Soul Society you've acted like the jerk I've always known you to be."

"Ummm thanks?"

Ichigo shook his head. "You don't have to feel guilty about anything you know. I've forgiven you, yet there really wasn't anything there to forgive. So can we please try to go back to how we were I..." the words were whispered so low that Grimmjow almost had trouble catching all of it. "I've missed you so much."

Grimmjow sighed and stretched as he stood up. He leaned down and lifted Ichigo causing the shorter man to wrap his arms around the broad shoulders and lean in closer to the firm chest as he was carried with an arm underneath the curve if his knees and another supporting his back.

"G-Grimmjow!"

"Ya know I love you, right Ichi?"

Honey brown eyes widened as they stared into sincere bright teal eyes.

"You say you don'y doubt me so I'm not going to give you a reason to start. I'm going to make everything up to you. I swear." Grimmjow captured the shocked shinigami's lips in a soft kiss. Tears began forming at the corners of honey brown eyes.

"Shit. Did I hurt-" The espada did not get to finish as Ichigo pulled him back in for a kiss. The man sobbed into Grimmjow's chest.

"It's been seven years since I last heard you say you love me. I love you, Grimm."

A tender smile appeared on the espada's face. "I love you, Ichi."

Of course things would never be the same but now was the chance to make up for lost time.

Currently the small family was laying about in the temporary haven's living room. Four months had gone by since Ichigo's rescue and it was barely beginning to look like a promising recovery.

"Mommy, can I brush your hair?"

Grimmjow opened and eye and stared at his son. His head was resting against Ichigo's lap who was currently running his fingers through the soft teal hair. Ichigo tilted his head to the side.

"Sure, why not?"

Takeshi leaped up off the floor from in front of the TV and ran towards the room. The espada reached up and took a strand of orange hair into his hand an twirled it around his finger.

"I guess even Takeshi notices how you don't take care of it."

Ichigo yanked his hair away from the other's hold and threw it over his shoulder.

"I do take care of it." the shinigami mumbled. His unruly orange hair was splayed around his back reaching just below his waist, hitting at his hip. Tangles could clearly be seen.

The espada scoffed. "Che, yeah right. Clearly I'm mistaken." He ran his hand in the orange locks and smirked when Ichigo yelped as his hand got stuck on one of the tangles.

"Ow! Ok, so maybe I need to work on it but that doesn't mean you have to yank my hair off." he swatted the hand away and rubbed at his head.

"If it's to hard to handle you could always trim it down a bit. A bit longer than shoulder length perhaps." Grimmjow looked away, the floor being more interesting than Ichigo's face.

Ichigo chuckled as he pulled the espada's face to look at him. "I get the feeling you don't want me to cut my hair to how I had it all those years ago." The shingami smirked as Grimmjow tried to hold back a blush.

"I-I-"

"If you would have told me you had a thing for long hair I would have grown it out for you, you know?" He kissed Grimmjow on the nose and smiled as the other tried to deny.

"I don't have a thing for-You just look good with-Either way you look like-Damn! Just don't chop it all off. I like running my hands through your hair." Grimmjow finished with a huff.

"I won't. Besides, Takeshi is used to seeing me with long hair. And as long as you like it, even more reason for me to leave it the way it is."

"You're such a girl Ichi." Grimmjow nipped the shinigami's ear.

Ichigo rolled his eyes at the leecherous grin the other gave him and shivered as he felt the warm breath near his ear. "Bite me, Grimmjow."

"Gladly."

The shinigami yelped as the espada nipped his neck.

"Mommy, I found the brush!" Takeshi ran back into the room and leaped onto his father's lap making the man grunt from the impact. "Turn around. Turn around."

"Alright. Man, you're just as demanding as your father." Ichigo smiled at his son as he turned so his back was facing him while ignoring the protest from his boyfriend.

The dark teal haired boy instantly began brushing his mother's hair with practiced ease.

"Should I be worried you know how to do this so well?" Grimmjow asked his son.

"Come on daddy, I've been doing this for mommy since I was 3. It's like a habit."

The teal haired man nodded and watched as Ichigo closed his eyes in enjoyment.

"Wanna try daddy?"

Grimmjow looked at the brush like it was a double headed Aizen ready to attack. "Umm, I don't think I should."

"Just try it."

Grimmjow reluctantly took the brush and as he passed it through the orange hair, it got stuck in a tangle. Ichigo bit his lip as his scalp was mistreated. The teal haired man growled and handed the brush back to his son.

"Told you I shouldn't have even tried." He massaged his berry's scalp where he knew he pulled a bit to hard. "Sorry Ichi."

Said man turned around and gave a small smile. "It takes practice Grimm. Takeshi will show you."

And Takeshi did. It took a few tries before Grimmjow got the hang of it. And that's how Urahara found them, sitting in the living room brushing Ichigo's hair.

"Oh my, what a lovely looking family. This brings joy to my heart just watching the three of you together." the crazed fan waving man said. The "lovely looking family" stared at the green striped hat wearing man as he hid his his face behind his cursed fan.

"Urahara." grumbled Grimmjow as he braided Ichigo's hair and tied it with one of his son's hair-ties that the boy so conveniently wore on his wrist.

"Uncle Kisuke!"

Urahara greeted the young boy and took a seat. "I'm here to see how you're doing Ichigo."

"I'm fine." the orange haired man examined his braided hair with amusement and wonder before he looked at the store keeper. "I've been feeling better every day."

"Well let's see those bandages and then I'll know what to do from there." Urahara strode over and stood before the younger man.

Grimmjow helped Ichigo remove his long sleeved black shirt as to not jostle his wounds in the process. Urahara took off the bandages and examined the still healing wounds, only a few were still bleeding around the arms and abdomen. The rest were either bruises and sore scar marks.

"Well these seem to be healing nicely. Now take off your pants."

Even though they'd gone through this process many times, Ichigo still managed to blush as Grimmjow eagerly but most definitely carefully took the man's sweatpants off and stood in just his boxers in front of Urahara, his boyfriend, and son.

"Hmm, I don't see any blood on the bandages. That's good." The blonde ex-capyain took the bandages off. "And all of the cuts on your legs have closed up. There will be minimal scarring but I don't think wrapping them in bandages is necessary anymore." the man said as he ran his fingers over a pink gash. He pressed on a tender spot near the orange haired man's thigh making Ichigo hiss.

"Though it seems your muscles are still healing. You'll probably be sore and in pain for another month or so. Max three months."

Honey brown eyes glared at the blonde man. "Thanks for poking me on the one spot you know that still hurts like a bitch, Urahara."

"Language Ichigo. There is a child among our presence." the blonde man smiled. If Ichigo could kill with his glare, Urahara would be a decaying corpse by now. The stupid man had the nerve to laugh at him.

The blonde man's face took a serious tone . "They really did a number on your body, Ichigo. Even I'm surprised you're still alive." Urahara said solemnly.

The orange haired man looked at his slowly healing wounds as his voice lost it's bite. "They made sure to bring me back even if I was close to death." Ichigo whispered. "They couldn't afford to kill me but they also couldn't let the chance to experiment and get some answers pass them by. I guess I kinda got lucky since traitor's aren't treated that nicely." He didn't look anyone in the eye and the blonde man knew he wasn't telling them something.

"Urahara, if you don't want me tearing a hole through you then I suggest watching what you say."

Ichigo sighed. "Don't get angry Grimm. He's only trying to help." He played with Takeshi's hair as he sat besides him, running his finger through his son's bangs. It was something he picked up on doing when he was nervous.

"Grimmjow, I'm only stating the facts. And if I'm going to help all of you then I need to know exactly what happened." he looked over to the worried shinigami and picked up on the little gesture that signaled his discomfort. "But that will be for another time." The man got to work bandaging the man's torso and then reached for the arms. He ended up inspecting the man's slightly deformed hand and banged up bracelet.

"You know, I can fix this up if you want." Urahara pulled at the bracelet. He knew for a fact that the reason the young man's hand was the way it was because there was no way for the jewelry to be removed without Grimmjow's reiatsu and Mayuri must have had a field day trying to remove it. The espada had no doubtly already had his guilt trip, argued with Ichigo about it (Ichigo winning of course), and had come to terms with it.

The espada had come to terms with everything that had happened to Ichigo and Takeshi after a series of long and painful conversations with the shinigami. The emotional roller coaster the two had gone through as Ichigo re-told what had happened in Soul Society, and the firsts Grimmjow had missed of Takeshi's life had them get past the first step in the healing process. Urahara had warned the espada that if he hoped for Ichigo to get better then he needed to be ready to face the emotional turmoil and take it on in order for the shingami to move on and heal. No guilt, no anger, just a listening ear and a comfortable hold. It worked. Ichigo would only talk to the blonde man about what happened if the teal haired man was there with him. Grimmjow was the support Ichigo needed. It brought a smile to Urahara as he remembered how the two men had been on unsteady ground at first but now it was different. The progress was incredible.

"Come on Ichi. Let him fix it." Grimmjow took the battered hand and kissed it. "Wouldn't it be nice if we added Takeshi's initial to it?"

Ichigo beamed at the idea. "Really?"

Grimmjow nodded as he slid his finger over the bracelets clasp and it popped right open. He took it off gently and handed it over to the storekeeper. He looked back at his love and noticed the uncertain and worried look he held. "It's alright Ichigo." He nuzzled his face into the hand.

"But-" Grimmjow kissed the man into silence. He didn't care that the shopkeeper and his son were watching.

Takeshi had knocked out in his mother's lap. It wasn't unusual since the boy seemed to be always stuck to the shinigami's hip. They were laying in bed as Ichigo ran his fingers through his son's hair. A quick and effective way to put the boy to sleep that he had found out years ago.

"Ichigo." Grimmjow stood at the door and leaned on the frame as he watched his family. The orange haired man lifted his face up and gave a small smile.

"What is it?"

The teal haired man said nothing. He made his way to the bed and maneuvered himself behind the younger man. Once he had Ichigo in between his legs and completely against him, he wrapped his arms around the man's waist and leaned against the wall. Takeshi stirred in his mother's lap but didn't wake. Ichigo was surprised by the man's actions. He leaned completely against the other and craned his neck so he could see the defined jaw and smooth features that belonged to the espada. The gigai really brought out all the best that made up Grimmjow from his soft teal hair, to his sexy azure eyes, all the way to the perfected body mad up of strong arms, a firm chest, well endowed and powerful long legs. After Ichigo was done admiring the man he nuzzled his face in the crook of Grimmjows neck.

"Really, what's wrong? Is the gigai bothering you?"

Grimmjow shook his head and took a hold of the hand that had been brushing through their son's hair. "The gigai is fine. I'm already used to it." He stroked over the scarred hand. The fingers were slightly crooked and uplifted scarred skin marred the otherwise flawless hand. His fingers trailed higher to where the bracelet he had given the man for their anniversary lay.

Knowing what was going through the man's head, Ichigo took a hold of the man's hand. "I was stripped of everything when Soul Society took me prisoner. The necklace you gave me really seemed to piss of Yamamoto. Not only because it was from you but because I wore it and it held your rank." Grimmjow listened as Ichigo talked. "As he so kindly phrased it 'It is the most disgraceful act he has ever witnessed. Wearing the rank of an espada, giving the enemy the position of ownership.' But you see, I'm not owned by anyone and I made it clear to him. You never treated me as a possession." Ichigo gave a small snort. "Although you have a habit of saying I'm yours."

Grimmjow grumbled. "Well you are mine."

Ichig chuckled and continued. "What pissed off Yamamoto even more was this here bracelet. The research department tried everything to remove it with no luck. They never would have been able to anyway and so my hand ended up turning out like this. I am glad they couldn't remove it though. This bracelet actually kept me sane at first and it gave me a sense of hope, so I don't want you getting all depressed on me because of this. Remember, we're moving past this."

The teal haired man held onto the younger man tighter. "You're such an idiot. You tell me not to worry, to not feel guilty, but when you say those things it's hard not to." Grimmjow looked at the injured hand and held it gently. "You are so stubborn Ichigo. You really are. That's one of the reasons I love you but that hard headedness always gets you in trouble."

"Grimm-"

"Ichi, if they didn't think you were useful to them do you really think they wouldn't have killed you the moment you didn't comply?" What would have happened then? What about Takeshi?"

Honey brown eyes were wide as the espada's words dawned on him.

"I didn't-"

Ichigo was brought closer against Grimmjow's chest as the older man buried his face into the other's neck.

"It's fine now because you're safe. Just never ever put yourself in a position to be hurt for something that can be replaced." Some of the gems on the bracelet had fallen off and base was scratched up and dented.

Ichigo gripped the teal haired man's hand tightly. "It's not as easy to do as you make it sound. If you had been in my position none of that reasoning would have passed your mind. I was scared and alone,Grimm. I know you're right but the bracelet was the only thing that linked me to you besides Takeshi."

As Grimmjow held onto Ichigo he tried to process what the orange haired man was saying. And once it did it hit him like a ton of bricks because he actually understood how Ichigo felt. He pulled the man's lips to his and placed a chaste kiss upon them.

"Then from now one, how about we focus on making sure we make more stronger memories as a family so that those will be the stronger link to us than a mere object."

A watery smile broke across the shinigami's face. "You've grown soft." He kissed the espada with as much love as he could muster. "And I would love that."

"Remember Ichi, we're not trying to replace the memories it holds, but add new ones."

Ichigo smiled as he knew exactly what Grinnjow meant.

Nana: Done! Dear readers I hope you at least like this chapter because I'm sick like a dog at the moment but I'm still posting this up for you.

Grimmjow: -shivers and coughs- Yeah and now you got me sick -glares-

Takeshi: -brings Grimmjow some medicine- Here you go daddy.

Nana: He's just being a big baby. How the hell does an espada get sick anyway?

Grimmjow: How the hell am I suppose to know? -coughs- I'm sick and you're the one responsible for it. -growls-

Nana: Relax. I have something for you that will make you feel better.

Grimmjow: I highly doubt it.

Nana: -grins- Oh Ichigo.

-door to bedroom burst open-

Grimmjow: -chokes on air-

Nana: It fits.

Ichigo: -dressed in a nurses outfit. His orange hair pulled up into a bun with bangs framing his face- I need to perform an examination on the patient -grins at Grimmjow and kneels on the bed- Tell me how you're feeling so I can make you feel better.

Grimmjow: -smirks- I so owe Nana.

Ichigo: I bet. -leans down and kisses the espada-

Nana: Takeshi, lets leave your mom to make your dad feel better. -leads the boy out the room- Sheesh, can't they wait until I take the innocent boy out of the room?

Takeshi: -confused- Why is mommy wearing a nurse outfit?

Nana: -takes Takeshi's hand- It's a grown up thing. But your mom looks good in it doesn't he?

Takeshi: Mommy looks pretty in anything he wears. -thinks- Will you help me pick out a dress for mommy? Daddy like it when he wear them.

Nana: Sure.

Peace&Love

{Nana}