"The Buffy Effect..." VIII...
PG 13
Disclaimer: No, Joss, no...I make no claims, put that thing down! It's all yours and ME's.
Spoilers for Angel to this week...Flee at once!...
Summary: Similar to my Immortal Beloved series of sketches, and my Semi Parallel Lives bits mostly just short brainstorming ideas for other tales...As with both of those, some bits may be multipart, others just a few lines...
Part H...
Buffy eyed the Emperor…
"You're saying Anne's escaped…?"
"Unless she knows the secret of invisibility?..." he asked, pleasantly…Nodding at Previous' frown… "Well…One never knows with such remarkable visitors…In that case, yes…She obviously has escaped…"
"Why?..." Previous cut in… "She wouldn't go without us…"
"Your faith in a demon…Even a demonic counterpart of yourselves…Is remarkable…" Justinian noted… "But, a demon nonetheless, often has its own agenda…"
"Did she cut a deal with you?..." Buffy, grimly…
"I offered one, yes…" he nodded…His wry smile catching her for a moment…A vision of Spike smiling at her, making one of his observations on human in general and her own in particular, nature… "I knew you'd guess that…But she refused…A most independent sort, in her way…"
"So we've found…" Previous noted…
"I imagine you're trying to follow her…" Buffy staring coolly… "See if she leads you to the rest of us…Did you let her get out?..."
"I won't try to lie, Buffy…Yes, we let her go when she broke out…Unless I wished to risk Theo how could we have stopped her…And we are trying to follow her…"
"You want something…" Previous eyed him…
"He wants the transit system, for beginners…" Buffy said, matter-of-factly…
"I wouldn't say no…" Justinian smiled… "It would make reconquering the lost provinces quite a deal easier…"
"It's not something you should have right now…" Previous shook her head… "If you are our Will, in part, you should know that…"
"I also should know you shouldn't be here…Even to save me or William as I understand it…You're violating laws of nature I may not understand but I can guess at…" he returned their stare… "For one man…While we are trying to save an empire and millions…"
"If we have come back here…" Buffy noted…
"Your future is probably secure…On your world…But as you have noted, this is not your world but another…" Justinian replied… "Therefore, as God's ViceGerent and Augustus of the Empire I must see to it…As must my Augusta…That our world and our future is secure…"
"You'd harm your world with this technology, Will…Justinian…" Both Buffies began…
"Theodora and I will take every precaution to see it's kept secret…I promise you it will not be allowed to reach beyond the Court until the time is right…We do have a good many well-kept secrets, even in this primitive times, ladies…" he smiled…
"We won't help you…" Buffy shook her head… "If Anne did break jail, she's probably going to get the others and then spring us…At least for the moment she needs us…"
"I don't expect your help, Buffy…" the Emperor sighed… "I just hope you won't try to interfere…I don't want to have to end this harshly…For the good of millions, most yet unborn…"
"If you couldn't stop Anne…" Previous began…
"Lets not put me or you to the trial, ladies…Please…" he put up his hands… "I can say we will allow you all to leave once this 'technology'?...Interesting word…Technos…Yes…Is in our hands…"
"Excepting…" Previous…Coldly…
"Yes, he'll have to stay…At least until my experts understand enough to do without him…"
"We can't get where we're goin' without him…So…" Buffy…Eyeing the bars carefully…
"I will see he sends you properly on your way…And after a time he will rejoin you…"
"Not good enough, Will…" Previous shook her head… "No deal…"
"Giles?..." Buffy stared at the sorcerer who'd now reluctantly re-entered the cell block he'd left only too short a time ago…
"You're certain they won't be harmed?..." Justinian asked, hurriedly…
"So long as the occupied bodies are properly restrained, my lord…"
"Time to go, sis…" Previous called…Lunging at the door…Collapsing at it as the Gilesian sorcerer waved a bag…
"Goddamn you…" Buffy growled at the sad-faced Justinian as she likewise collapsed…
"I am sorry, love…" he sighed…Eyeing…
"Quickly, Flavius…" he turned, waving Flavius and the guards in…
The sorcerer nervously hanging back, dragged into the cell by Flavius…His black robe catching and tearing on the door…
Well…Theodora eyed herself in the bronze mirror of the tavern she'd paused at to grab a quick bite…
Blonde does go with the lighter skin and green eyes…
A heavy-set, hard-faced fellow moved her way…She frowned off the disguised guard attempting to intervene…
"Choice piece we are…" he smiled… "A nice sedan chair outside as well…Wealthy whore, are we?..."
"A respectable woman sure wouldn't stop in this place…" she smiled back…
"I see we remember our lines…Even after ten years on our glorious arse…" the man grinned…
"Fortius, you rogue…" she grinned back… "I should kill you right now for piercing this disguise…"
"And a fine one it is…" he stepped back… "By the gods, I'd swear you were taller…"
"Don't… " she hastily put a finger on his lips to silence the "Augusta"… "This really is important…"
"It must be…For you to color your eyes, whiten your skin, and the man of your house to let you go blonde…" he smiled… "Now what can a retired theater manager cum tavern-keeper do for his ex-star…?"
Buffy groaned, stretched, groaned…And looked up to see the Empress glaring down at her…Another woman, ragged…One of the prisoners locked up in the other cells, no doubt, likewise staring down…
"You planning on sleeping our lives away?..." Theodora stared at her… "I know it's not much to work with but we'd best start trying to make do if we're gonna get outta here in time…"
She blinked…Groaning again in earnest as she felt muscles weary as never in her life…Skin itching and sore…She sat up, barely…The other woman helping her…
"It's me, sis…" Previous sighed… "And guess who the new Empress of Byzantium is…"
"Not Warren Mears, yet, at least…" Anne noted…
"But…" Buffy stared…
"Soul transmigration…Like the curse only cuter…" Anne frowned… "Justinian and Theo…Whata couple…Shoulda guessed they'd have no problem using whatever magics were at hand…"
"So…She has your body…"
"My magnificient vampiral corpse, yeah…" Anne sighed… "And left me, stuck in this human bag of bones…God…I'd heard Wolfram-Hart sold bodies to some demons but I never thought a vamp demon could get pulled into this sort of miserable…"
"Well…If you're a Slayer…" Buffy suggested…
"Slayer power at zero…I'm normal…Ain't it cool?...Just what we always wanted, I'm a normal human girly-girl…I'm so happy…" Anne pasted a phony beam… "The Augusti took no chances…They made sure any Slayer abilities were blocked off…And damnit, I broke a nail finding out…"
"But us…"
"Yeah, as bad as me…" Previous nodded…
"My one consolation…" Anne grinned… "At least I remain the pretty sister…Have a looksee…" she offered a bronze mirror, gilded and studded with jewels, to Buffy…Who gasped…
"Oh mi god…" she stared at the gap-toothed hag in the reflection…
"The sad thing is she's only twenty-five…But I guess that's Roman life expectancy plus two years in here…" Anne noted…
"But if we're in here…" Buffy blinked… "Then they have our bodies?..."
"I don't think so…" Previous sighed… "There's someone in here with me…I feel her clawing at me…Or she'd like to be…I think I actually deserved to be here, as matter of fact…"
"They probably put you in there to hold your souls anchored…I'd guess they put something docile in the two of you…Groots probably…" Anne suggested…
"Groots…?"
"World's stupidest demons…Will obey a two year old if he or she hollers loud enough… Perfect for making a Slayer body nice and obedient… Just have to find Slayers stupid enough to let themselves be occupied…I think the trick is having trust in one or more of the spell-casters…"
"Will…A William…Would do that to us…?" Buffy stared…
"We're not his Buffy, kiddo…And his Gerentness or whatever has Imperial ladeda interests to consider…Think William gone the Kennedy route…" Anne noted… "But don't worry…Annie is here to handle things, and as viciously evil as ever despite the human limitations…Arrrggghhh…!" she screamed…Jerking a foot…
"Was that a rat?...I think it bit me…Did it bite me?...Oh, God! Lemme outta here!..." she beat the bars… "Hey, Flavius, get the Emperor!…I don't wanna die of rats eating me!…I'll go find the others…Lemme outta here, please!...Flavius, my sex offer's still open!...The Empress' body no less!..."
Our heroine…Buffy eyed Previous…
"So now, Cicero…Or Warren, forgive me…Must get used to that interesting sort of name…" Procopius beamed jovially…Warmth issuing from every pore… "Is our proposal satisfactory to you?..."
Warren, hanging upside-down, tunic torn from his chest…Two slaves holding red-hot iron tips within six inches…
"I think I could see my way…"
"That's excellent…" Belisaurius rose from where he and the others had been watching with interest…Future men apparently possessing no especial resistance to torture… "I'm sure I speak for the rest of us…And the entire Empire…In saying I see a bright future in our association…"
"Uh, sure…" Warren sighed… "Could I possibly be set down on terra firma, please?..."
"Latin has survived in your era?...Wonderful…" Procopius clapped and the slaves lowered Warren and helped him up…
"Proper garment for our honored guest…And partner…" Procopius called…
"My uh…sis…And her sisters…May object to this arrangement…" Warren noted...Thanks, Bennie…He patted slave Benvo who pulled a fresh tunic over his head, while making a curse sign at his back…
"Overthrowing governments on other worlds wasn't exactly on their agenda…"
"Leave that to us, dear boy…" Procopius patted him… "We have ways of charming women even your world may not have heard of…"
"Absolutely…" Belisaurius beamed…Antonia, seated beside him, frowning…
Ok…Torture or imminent threat thereof is a valid excuse when the girls kill these guys…Warren thought…
And if, by some miracle, these clowns can pull their little scheme off…Give me a year or so…And it's Emperor Warren I…
"The Buffy Effect..." VIII...
PG 13
Disclaimer: No, Joss, no...I make no claims, put that thing down! It's all yours and ME's.
Spoilers for Angel to this week...Flee at once!...
Summary: Similar to my Immortal Beloved series of sketches, and my Semi Parallel Lives bits mostly just short brainstorming ideas for other tales...As with both of those, some bits may be multipart, others just a few lines...
Part I¼
Fortius, frowning at his greatest, former star…Queen of the Hippodrome, Augusta and Consort of the greatest…If not perhaps best-loved…Imperator since Augustus…
Can't say the blonde really suits her…
"You say you seek your twin?..." he said slowly… "And you believe she may be acting with Belisarius?..."
"Not necessarily of her own free will…But yes, I think Justy's…Er, the Augustus' good friend and our national hero of the moment…Is up to something involving her special abilities…"
"Which abilities are similar to your own?..." he eyed her…
"Identical…Not unheard of, eh…Watcher?..." she smiled…
"No…" Fortius nodded slowly… "As we know all too well, Slayers have coexisted before…But you haven't died?...Recently?..."
"Not since North Africa…" she put up a hand…
"You…" Anne fumed as the Augustus, solitary, entered the corridor in front of the cell in which the Buffies in their current state, that of the Augusta minus Slayer power and two female inmates in rather decrepit as well as utterly human condition sat, trying to brainstorm a plan of attack…Anne rather miffed that her own brilliant suggestion to seduce the first guard in range of her charms and strangle him in the cell had not been gratefully accepted…
"Ladies…" he sighed… "Believe me, I truly didn't wish to have to do it this way…"
"Where are our bodies, you miserable son of a bitch…?" Previous cried…A slight but distinct tone of hurt…
How could a William…?
"Safe…Ladies, this is for your own protection as much as mine or my wife's…"
"Oh?..." Buffy said, stepping to the bars between her and him…
"You would've tried to escape, likely succeeded, and we might have been forced to employ extreme measures…This is only a temporary state, you'll be returned to your bodies as soon as we've secured what we need from your other sister and your philosopher…"
"Justy…" Anne tried… "Don't leave me locked up in here with these two vengeance-seeking, wrathful bitches…You wouldn't want me hurt?..."
"Yeah…" Buffy moved to Anne… "And we may only be human now but we could do mucho hurt…"
"Absolutely…" Previous had taken the hint and come over as well…Though her missing teeth made her attempt at an ironic smile a bit less effective…
"Girls…" Justinian frowned… "You know you won't hurt your own…"
"…demon?..." Buffy noted… "We were gonna stake her if she gave us any trouble…Breaking a few bones is no biggee…" she picked up an old, worn stool…
"I know your wife's retired from the stage but still she probably won't appreciate having her pretty face rearranged…" she swung the stool between her hands…
"William!..." Anne pleaded… "They're not kidding!...Don't let them hurt me!...Get me outta here, please!..."
He sighed… "Guards…" he waved a hand…Four stepped in from the door to the corridor outside…Two pulling swords, one a spear targeted on Buffy…Flavius the forth, in command… "Take the Augusta's body to the other cell there…"
"Hey!...I'm the whatever…Augusta…My husband's gone mad…Get me outta here and…" Anne cried…Flavius opening the door and with a sword sweep, forcing Previous and Buffy back to the rear…The two bearing swords stepping into the open cell, carefully eyeing the two Buffies…
Sounds like those stories Procopius tells are true after all, one thought…
"Come along, demon…" Flavius frowned at Anne…The spearman thrusting slightly at her…
"Hey, don't any of you guys wanna be Emperor?...And do an Empress?..." she tried, backing from the spear…Flavius seizing her arm… "Oww!..." she howled…
"Not too rough, Flavius…" Justinian called…
"No, Augustus…" he nodded…
"Oww!…Oww!...Honey, he's hurtin' me!..." Anne sobbed as Flavius pulled her out of the cell… "I'm back in the body, honey!...The spell failed…Justy, it's me…" Flavius removed her gripping hands from the bars carefully and lifting her in his arms, carried her out over his shoulder like a sack as she began screaming, twisting, pounding on the unflinching shoulders of the tribune… "Sweetheart!...Tell him to put me down…Justy, I wouldn't lie to you!...I can prove it!...You put me down, you…!" Flavius nodded for the spearman following behind him to open the other cell…
"She'll kill herself if you don't let us go!..." Buffy called…The swordsmen keeping her and Previous at bay…Looking over where Anne now stared at her from Flavius' back…
I'll what?...
"The hell I will!..." Anne glared… "Justy, I'm your little Theo…Come on, baby..." she pleaded… "Let me prove it!..." Flavius set her down and stepping back and out of the cell, closed it with a clang… "Honey!..." she ran to the bars… "Lovey, please…I musta lost my Slayer strength from the spell…You gotta believe me, babe!…"
"Fine…" Justinian sighed…Flavius signaling the swordsmen to leave Buffy and Previous and step out… "What did I say to you when we met that first day?..."
Ummn…Anne desperately rummaged…Damn…Not a single Theodora memory…She took everything, bitch…
"Uh…That was a long time ago, honey… 'You're the hottest thing I've ever seen, let's go make out'…?"
"That was the third thing…" he smiled… "Though not quite like that…I'm afraid, miss, that she retained her memories with the transfer…"
"No…I was thinkin' of that…Give me one more chance…" she demanded… "The first time we fought, you said you'd be going out… 'for a walk, b***…'?" eager smile…
"Second time…Nice try, though…" Justinian smiled…
"Oh, fine…" Anne fumed… "Well, bring me something to eat at least…I'm…" she paused in a bit of wonder… "Hungry…God, in fact…I'm starved…"
Geesh…I haven't been hungry for food in…Well, never since my rebirth…she thought…
"Flavius?..." Justinian turned to him…
"Yeah, a nice steak?...And maybe some bread?...And cheese…And some nice salad?..." Anne called…
"Have the Imperial kitchens fix whatever she wants…" Justinian told the tribune…
"And some soup?...I like…Hmmn…"Anne pondered… Been so long…?
"Tomato bisque, maybe?...And do you guys have cheesecake?..."
"So you don't have the device with you?..." Procopius frowned at Warren…Belisarus glaring as well…Antonia, in her chair, satirical look…No others, even the ubiquitous slaves allowed to attend this meeting in the master's study…
"No…The other ladies preferred to keep it with them…" Warren explained…
Morons…Would I be sitting here in a land where people die of a cold at 25 and there's not a processor to be had if I didn't have to?...
"Not good news…" Belisarius eyed Procopius… "But…" he turned back to Warren… "…you say you created it?...Could you reproduce it?..."
Ah, hah…Right…Like in say four or five hundred years if I gain Immortality and you give me carte blanche to spend every penny this miserable "empire" of yours can cough up…And I can somehow reinvent the entire spectra of modern industrial technology from steel production to microchip manufacturing…
"Absolutely…" he nodded, confident look… "But it would take time…I'd say it would be a lot faster if we got it from the girls…"
A lot faster…he thought…
"Who are currently under lock and key in the Imperial dungeons…" Procopius noted… "Excepting of course your 'sister'…Currently under our care…"
"Surely the women have been searched and their device secured…" Belisarus shook his head… "Justinian wouldn't miss a trick like that…"
"More than likely…" Procopius nodded… "But that's not necessarily a disaster…We do have friends in the Palace…"
"Well, then…Lets get our 'friends' movin' and get my transit system…" Warren rose…
"How do we know this clown is what he claims to be?..."Antonia, sweetly, eyeing Warren… "He could be nothing but a miserable slave in his world…And comic relief to boot…Leading us on, thanks to you, Procopius…While his owners make off…Besides, I'm still not convinced in them and their future, other world, simply because the girl looks a bit like the Augusta…"
Hey…Warren glared…
"Speaking of not being convinced in one…" Procopius began, with some heat…Fuming… "If your husband hadn't insisted on your being allowed to attend here…"
"Procopius…" Belisarus eyed him…
God, the last thing I need right now…
"For all we know you are reporting everything to your old friend, the Augusta…" the white-haired Procopius had turned beet red in the face…Antonia for her part rising to her feet, fists up…
Oooh…Little rift among friends here…Warren thought…Useful to bear in mind…
"Now, now…Friends…" Belisarius rose to put hands out to hold the two apart…
"Old fool…" Antonia fumed… "Putting us all at risk over a wretch's fairy tale…"
"I've seen their power, you…" Procopius, raging… "And the only one endangering us is you…"
"Enough, Procopius…" Belisarus, hastily…Realizing matter were about to move to discussion of Antonia's past career and perhaps present flaws…
"Antonia has a point…We've not seen any proof of the power this fellow claims to wield…" he pointed out…But put up a hand… "I don't deny what you saw but our lives may be at risk in this…"
"People, people…Friends, Romans…Whatever you are…" Warren called… "Lend me your eyes and have a gander, here…" he pulled a ballpoint pen from a pocket in the trousers he wore under his tunic and robes… "Behold, yokels…" he pulled up a small scrap of white paper from his pocket and began to write "Warren Mears, the new God…" in what he was fairly certain, particularly from the puzzled and astounded looks, was English, not Greek…
Though except for the history buff geezer, he doubted anyone else in the room…The wife who was apparently a retired strumpet or whatever and the heroic muscle-bound military boy…Could read Greek, let alone English…
Hmmn, pity it's not a clicker pen…They've probably never seen a spring before…
"What is that?..." Procopius stared as the blue ink traced letters on the sheet of what appeared to be silken parchment or cloth…
"I call it…The pen…And 'tis mightier than the finest sword…" Warren beamed…
"I invented it myself…" he noted, smiling….
"Nice…" Antonia eyed the pen…Suddenly snatching it from his hand…
Hey…
"Antonia…" Belisarus frowned…
"Oh, get hold of yourself, Bel…This thing is just some kind of…" she eyed the pen's barrel…
"…Clear amber?..." she held it up to a window… "With some paint inside…A nice toy, but…"
"And this?... " Procopius held up the white paper… "If you can tell me where fine parchment like this…" he bent the scrap…Unfolded it… "That can endure such manipulations…Exists…We could probably buy the Empire in a short time…"
She stared… Belisarus eyed her…Hmmn?...Warren, though a bit miffed at all the seizing of personal property, deeming it best to let the monkeys have their see…
She shrugged… "It's unusual but hardly proof this fellow comes from the future…Anywhere…And it's hardly something to bring down Justinian with…"
"Bring down…?" Belisarus frowned… "I thought I've made it clear…We are simply gaining leverage to persuade the Augustus to make a few reforms and heed our advice…And see to it that should he die a proper successor is named and ready to prevent the disaster of a woman coming to power alone…The Augustus is to remain and we to be his most loyal subjects and advisors…I'm no friend to treason…Rome has suffered enough from ambitious, selfish men trying to seize power for their own interests…Justinian stays on his throne…We are clear on that…?"
Hmmn…Antonia frowned…But…
"Yeah…"
"Certainly, sir…" Procopius eyeing her…
Guess we have common ground on one thing, anyway…she thought… "Fine…But getting back to… 'Cicero'…here…"
"Just a moment…" Warren interrupted… "I've saved the best for last…"
Nice way of expressing himself the lad has…Belisarus eyed him… "…'the best for last…' 'pen(? yes...pen) mightier than the sword…' 'Friends, Romans, whatever…lend me your eyes…' I could use him on my speech for the triumph today…
Warren pulled a small black rectangle out from under his toga…
"Guards…" Antonia backed away… Now that had the look of a weapon, even if a rather flimsy one…
"Hey…Not to worry…" Warren raised a hand… "This is just my device for making calculations of incredible complexity in record time…Powered by the energy of the sun…" he moved to the window…The calculator's LCD lit up in green…
Whoa…Belisarus and Procopius stared…Antonia cautiously coming to them and peering…
"Let's see…How about?..." Warren pondered… "You have, say, 112 slaves doing 25 things, say making those lousy smoky candles you have here at night .. In an hour working for 8 hours…How many candles in a day…" he punched in the numbers… "And here's your answer..." he held up the machine…
"What is that?..." Procopius stared at the unfamiliar number…
Ummn… "22,400 candles…" Warren noted…
Antonia looking round…Hmmn…
"I see no candles…"
"No, it's the number of candles…It's a calculation…" Stupid…
Nice to know modern blondes haven't regressed from some high plateau of intellectual ability…
"Those represent numbers?..." Procopius tapped the screen… "I must admit…If your figures are right, quite a feat…" He strode to the study door… "Benvo!...My abacus…"
"This may take a bit…" he noted, setting himself down at the large table in the center of the study around which the others sat…Abacus before him…
Lovely…Warren sighed…
"While you're running the ole Commodore 64…" he began…
The three stared at him…
Forget it, he waved it off… "What about dear ole 'sis'?...Have you got her under proper lock and key?...Cause if you don't…I can promise you…"
"Warren…" Belisarus beamed… "We Romans know how to handle troublesome women…"
Oh yeah…Sure…Procopius rolled eyes…Brief glance at Antonia's smugly wry smile at him…
Still, in this case…
"Benvo!..." Procopius called… "Have your…Wife…Bring the wine…"
Warren eyed the smug looks on the Romans cautiously…
Nah…These clowns?...Nah…
"Master…" Third Buffy bowed, entering…Glassy look… "Benvo my husband said to bring you and the guests…Wine…" she tottered a bit…Lifting a wine jug…
"Right here, girl…" Belisarus held out his glass…She slowly stumbled over, pouring…
"Mind that jug, you silly wretch…" Antonia called… "Or it's the whip for you…Procopius, you ought to trade this one away…"
"Oh…No…Please…" Third Buffy vaguely pleaded… "Not from my…Husband…Please…Master…"
"Not to fear, girl…Just try and learn your duties well…" Procopius, kindly tone…
"Back to the sweepin', wife…" Benvo told her as they went out of the room… "And look sharp or it'll be a hiding for you…Master…" he bowed…She bowed, clumsily…
Hmmn…Warren pondered…Looking after her…
Have my moment of pleasure in the vague hope she won't remember when the…Drugs?...Wear…Or do the sensible thing and make noises about injustice to cover my ass…?
"Nice job…Magics or drugs?…Or both?..." he asked…
"A formulation from the lotus flower and other ingredients that blinds memory…And induces susceptibility…Not useful in your case, but excellent for her…" Procopius noted… "And one of my slaves, a Greek girl from Athens, is very good at dealing with the susceptible…A unique gift, really…."
"Can't believe she's not faking…She really believes she's one of your slaves and that pus-faced little package Benvo's her…" chuckle… "Husband?...You can do that and you need help with the Emperor and his girl?..." Warren, forgetting a moment where his best interests lay…Keeping these bozos believing he and only he could win them Imperial power…
"Oh, yes…But you see, the Augustus, Augusta, and the whole Imperial staff have long ago taken antidote in formidable concentrations…Routine thing for the Imperial service…Besides we need to armies…Not a few" Procopius noted, sliding some round balls on his abacus… "Of course we can't push it too far…And that reminds me… " he rose…Went to the door… "Hera!..."
"Lord?..." a buxom, red-haired lady in white robes and headpiece came to the study door, waiting…
"Tell that idiot Benvo to leave his 'wife' be…As I instructed…He's to tell her that she's been ill and they've pledged themselves to chastity for the next six months as a thanks for the blessings of Christ…Make sure he does that in no uncertain terms…You are her dearest friend among the slaves and are nursing her while she completes her recovery of her mental faculties…Meaning you can stay with her and watch them both…Understood?..."
"Yes, Lord…" she bowed…
Pity…Warren thought…I thought they made such a nice couple…
Fortius sighed at the angry face of the tall, brown-haired girl in blue robe now facing the transferred Theodora…Cross in one hand, cross-bow in the other…
"Claudia…"
"Demon from Hell, a vaunt!..." she cried, waving cross at Theodora…Who sighed but looked to Fortius…
"Claudia…This is my friend…And a rather important personage…" he tried…
"What?..." his apprentice…Skilled yet a tad underexperienced, he noted to Theodora…Stared at the blonde demon in human form before her…Having risen out of her seat in the back room to the attack on seeing Fortius' charms in his 'study' vibrate to indicate a demonic presence in the front shop… "Master Fortius, this be a demon…However pleasing to you her form may be…The warning system…"
"Yes, yes…" Fortius nodded… "And I commend you, Claudia for your attentiveness…You will make a fine Watcher one day…But you must sense deeper…There is a soul presence here as well…Concentrate and you will sense that…"
"I truly am Fortius' friend, girl…" Theodora nodded… "Don't fear, though I heartily second your master in commendation for your alertness…"
"Truly, Master?..." Claudia looked to Fortius… "Truly, girl…Rest easy…And look a bit more closely…The lady is not unknown to you…"
Claudia, rather near-sighted, squinted…Oh-oh…I think I have seen…
"My greatest protégé…Our Slayer…And Augusta of the Roman Empire…" he smiled…
"Hello, girl…" Theodora smiled…"No fear…You've done your duty…Now, let your master and I talk, eh?..."
"And to your books, Claudia…" Fortius told the girl sternly… "With no word of this to anyone…"
"Yes, Master Fortius…" Claudia nodded…Eyeing Theodora… "Be the blonde demon a disguise, most noble Augusta?..."
"Indeed, girl…And I count on you to follow your master's dictate and say nothing of me…" Theodora nodded, sternly…
"Ma'am…Master…" Claudia bowed and headed back…
Well, Slayer or no, everyone do say she be demon incarnate…she thought…
"Glad to see you caught the demon…" Theodora smiled at Fortius… "I assume you had stake and cross at ready all the time…"
"Naturally…" he nodded… "But your soul has a distinctive aura for me, girl…And now that my dear apprentice is safely off to her studies…Just what insanity has prompted you to take a demon's body and risk seeking me out, knowing the Council has sanctioned you…?"
"Rome's good…" Theodora sighed… "And the knowledge that my old Watcher would not betray me, even to his beloved Council…"
Oh , God…Anne gasped…Her bosom in lovely purple robe girt with gold chain heaving…Eyes rolling in ecstasy
God, Almighty…
Geesh did I just pray, more or less?...Damn, I am in a human shell…
"Good?..." Justinian asked, smiling…
"Incredible…Oh, sweetie…" she moaned… "I haven't had it like that since…Well, since I was human…But I don't remember specifics from then so…I guess, ever…"
Oh, brother…Buffy rolled her eyes…Previous shaking head…
"Well, being in a sense your husband…And counterpart of this William you all seem to adore…" he grinned… "I'm pleased to be of service…"
"Baby…" Anne smiled…Ummn…
"Could I have a little more of that honey cake?..." she pointed through her bars to the table on which a feast of epic proportions laid spread…
"Absolutely…" he beamed…Pulling the dish over… "But don't make yourself ill…"
Or elephantine…Buffy thought, frowning…
God, tell me I don't chow like that when I'm hungry…
"What?..." Anne had caught her sisters' mutual disapproving stare… "I'll have you two know I haven't eaten food except a little to try and fool Dawn and Willow the second night after I transformed…And the occasional burger to keep company with Spike when he watched soccer matches on TV… In three years…Besides, it's not my body…Permanently…And she'll be a Slayer again when she retakes it…So big blowhardies…" she flounced away from them…
Blowhardies?... Previous blinked…
"Thanks, darling…" she beamed at Justinian as he handed her a plate of cake through the bars…
"How's about sex later?...After I digest a little?..." she asked, hopefully…
"Afraid not…Tempting as it truly is…" he smiled…
"Oh, come on…It's your wife's body…Voluntarily handed over…" Anne noted, seductive leer… "She must have figured we'd get it on…"
"She figured, as you say…" Justinian grinned… "That you'd offer…And her statement on that was quite Imperial and rather unrepeatable…"
"What she doesn't know…" Anne teased, munching on the cake…Swilling down some wine from a bottle…
"She'd know, believe me…" Justinian shook his head… "No, thank you…It is very tempting but I'll manage for one night…"
"Without me?..."Anne, heartfelt plea…Sincere stare…Tears in eyes…
Buffy and Previous staring…Whoa…
"You are very good…" Justinian eyed her, smiling… "I can see you must have been a terrible menace on your world…"
"Devastating…And God, could I show you…" Anne smiled…
"Lady Anne…I hope you do find and save your William…" Justinian replied… "Tell him, if you do, his counterpart hopes he should be truly grateful…"
"He is…" Anne agreed… "Even his demon is…So I know…"
"I'd better go now, before you manage to melt even my icy heart…" he grinned…
"She's lucky…Honestly…" Anne said, simply…"Sleep well, love…" she blew a kiss…Swig of wine, gulping…Ahh, that's so…Belch… "'cuse…" she wiped her mouth with sleeve…
"Ladies…" he nodded to Buffy and Previous… "Please don't do anything foolish…Flavius and your own counterparts will be with the guards…I swear to you on the Holy Testament that I will keep my promise to restore you and send you on your way safely when all's settled…" They eyed him coolly…
"I'll…mmphf…Keep an eye on 'em, honey!..." Anne called, between mouthfuls of bread…
He bowed to them all and stepped out of the chamber…The large door at the end of the corridor swinging rustily open to allow him exit, then slamming…
" 'Sleep well, love.'?" Previous frowned through the bars at Anne…
"So, I like him…Besides if Theo bites it, I might decide I like it here…" she replied… "He's a Will, after all…"
"What about Spike?…Your Spike?..." Buffy frowned…
"Just bein' practical…If we can't leave and I have to stay in this bod anyway…It's what he'd want, you know that…" Anne noted…Shrugging… "Though yeah, he'd still want me to go and get that soul back…And maybe…If Justy asked nice…" she smiled, a bit fondly…Looking to the banquet table outside her cell… "Say, uh, Flavius?...Another slice of that lamb, please?...With lots of that sauce…What is it?..."
"Garum, demon…" Flavius replied, curtly from his seat near the wall…Fetching a plate and signaling for the nervous cook from the Imperial kitchen to slice yet another piece…
"Right…Lots of that, ok?..."
Jesus Christos, where does she put it?... The cook blinked at Anne…
"What did Justinian mean…Your counterparts?..." Previous asked… "Not…?"
"Be prepared for some major humiliation, gals…"Anne grinned… "Lots of drool…More than your usual, dumber even than you two normally are…And be very glad our pious Mr. Flavius is in charge tonight…Cause otherwise when you do find Will, you might have some 'plainin' to do about the buns in the ovens…"
"The Buffy Effect..." VIII...
PG 13
Disclaimer: No, Joss, no...I make no claims, put that thing down! It's all yours and ME's.
Spoilers for Angel to this week...Flee at once!...
Summary: Similar to my Immortal Beloved series of sketches, and my Semi Parallel Lives bits mostly just short brainstorming ideas for other tales...As with both of those, some bits may be multipart, others just a few lines...
Part J¼
Buffy frowned at the now solidly sleeping Anne…Currently human if demon-possessed, in the body of the Imperial Augusta, Theodora…
"She looks like a python that swallowed several pigs at once…Tell me we don't eat like that…" she noted to Previous who was sighing at herself in the metal mirror she held…God, look at my hair…
Worst of it is…I think this one had something going with the young brown-haired guard manning the outer hall…I keep gettin' horny every time he comes in with Flavius…Some kind of sexual imprinting or residual memory or something…
"At least she still has a Buffy body, if no Slayer strength…"
"And is ready to offer it to any guard who says yes…Great…" Buffy frowned…
"Would serve that bitch Theo right…" Previous noted… "And it could get us outta here…"
"Not with her snoring like that…My teeth…What's left of them…Hurt…" Buffy groaned… "What are we gonna do?..."
"God knows…" Previous shrugged… "If they catch Warren and sis, bring them in…And give us back our bodies, maybe we can try something then…We must be patient, there's nothing we can do about God's Will, sis…"
"Huh?..." Buffy stared…Previous blinking…Hmmn…
"Sorry…Must be some residual from the previous owner…I think she was very devout…"
Jesus…Buffy sighed…Staring…
"Where?..." Previous, looking round…Shaking herself as she instinctively started to cross herself…Stop that…
"Oh, no…" Previous groaned, looking where Buffy was staring…
Where two well-armed guards…Including her host's boyfriend…And Tribune Flavius…Were leading…
"Get them outta here!...Now…" Buffy called to Flavius who sighed…
"Sorry, miss…But the Augustus feels you require additional guarding…You…" he addressed a rather glassy-eyed, slack-jawed 'Buffy', distinguishable from 'Previous' beside her by dress… "Sit…"
"Uhhn…" 'Buffy' groaned, sitting on the floor…
"And you…" he commanded 'Previous' who vaguely stared at the women in the cells…Picking at her hair strands with one hand… "Sit there…" he pointed… "Watch the women in the cells…" he pointed to Buffy and Previous… "They must not escape…Understand…?"
"Uhnnn…." 'Previous' nodded…Sitting slowly down…Legs out on floor…Quickly returning to the hair strand pulling…
"It's gonna freeze my bum off…" Previous frowned… "At least get her a blanket or something…" she eyed the brown-haired soldier, giving a faint smile… "Please?..."
"Get a blanket, Michael…" Flavius told the soldier who nodded to his superior and saluting, thumping hand on chest and stretching it out, went out…
Giving a quick return glance to Previous…
Hmmn…Michael, eh?...Nice…
I mean…Maybe we can make use of that lovely…Of him…Geesh…She shook her head…
Girl is really gone on that one…However devout she may be…
"What?..." Buffy eyed her…
"Nothing…" she replied, waving it off…
"Hey!..." Buffy cried… "Don't let her do that!..." she glared at 'Buffy'…
"Stop that…" Flavius sternly commanded… "Bad.."
'Buffy', vague look his way…Hmmn?...
"Bad…Don't do that…" Flavius insisted…Wiping the drool from her chin…
"God, the least your Emperor could do is not let his wife's counterparts be humiliated…" Buffy noted…
"Yeah…" Previous agreed…Though thank God…Praise His holy…Enough!...Mine isn't…Oh…Eehw…She groaned as 'Previous' calmly began exploring the contents of her right nostril… "Will you…?" she indicated the demon to Flavius…Who hastened to intervene…Bad, he insisted… 'Previous' eyeing him with a puzzled stare…
"Bad…No…" he noted gently…She…It…Reluctantly ceasing her expedition…
"My apologies, miss…" Flavius, apologetically looking to Previous… "But it is easier to watch them here as well…"
"Bright idea putting demonic morons in Slayer bods…" Previous frowned… "Hope you guys have good hospitals for when they start tearing limbs off…"
"They're quite harmless until ordered to be otherwise, I assure you…" Flavius replied… "And we have the best medical staff in the Empire here at the palace…" he took a stool…Pulling out what appeared to be a small book…He began murmuring in Latin…
Previous nodding at the prayers…Amen…
"Hey…" Buffy hissed… "Have your conversion later…" she nudged… "We gotta find a way outta here and get to sis and Warren…"
"Sorry…This one's got a lot of baggage I guess…" Previous sighed, whispering… "But there is one thing…I think she and that God-like Michael are a couple…We might be able to use that…"
"Who?..." Buffy stared…
"Michael…The great-looking hunk…"
"I saw two runty guys before, filled out a little by their chest armor…One of them..?"
"The brown-haired one…" Previous frowned… "With the beautiful smile.."
Ummn…She blinked…Sorry…
"She has got it bad…" Buffy noted…"Can you keep your head clear enough to get him to help us?..."
"I guess…Sure…" Previous shrugged, wrinkling nose and pulling away… "Must you come so close, sis?...No offense but your breath smells like…What theirs probably do normally…" she indicated the Groot Buffies…
"Sorry…" Buffy stepped back… "Say are we really that hot?..." she stared over…
Hmmn?...Previous looked at the dimly staring Buffies, one occupied with picking at her blouse…God, tell me not for bugs…The other quite intrigued now by one of her shoes…Pulling it off and playing with her toes…
"Oh, crap…Crap!…" Buffy sighed… "I'm gay, I think…"
Loud sound from the sleeping Anne…The Groot Buffies giggling with glee, looking over to see…
"Too much garum…" Flavius noted, looking up from his devotional book… "She'll regret it tomorrow…"
"I regret it now…" Previous sighed to Buffy…Who was reflecting on a past memory opened by her change of lifestyle…
"You know, I think William was a girl once…" she noted, rather happily…
Given that Belisarius and Procopius would be needed at the morrow's great Triumph for the victory in North Africa, Fortius was reasonably hopeful an attempt to then seek the mysterious twin of the Augusta and her companion from the future at the court historian's place might succeed…
"Just hope that idiot demon in my body can carry off my role…" Theodora noted, grimly… "Being a proper Augusta does require a certain talent for the theatrical…"
"I'm sure your husband will instruct her as to what to do during the ceremonies…" Fortius noted… "Now, before we take some rest, lets consider how we shall carry our own performance out…"
Claudia eyeing the Augusta in her temporary residence…Not bad as a blonde, really… "You'll miss the Triumph, Augusta?..."
"I know that's what shocks me the most in this business…You've never let an understudy take your part before…Even when badly wounded…" Fortius grinned as Theodora mock-frowned…
"Yes…Well…Hope this shows you just how dedicated an Empress I am…" she noted… "Besides, Justinian gives me a private Triumph every week, at home…" Grin…
"Say what?..." Warren stared at his idiot partners…Junior partners, soon to be removed…
"You want me and spaced-out Buffy to raid the Imperial Palace tomorrow?..."
"There'll be no better time, Warren…" Procopius noted… "The Augustus and Augusta and most of the Guard will be at the Triumph…Most of the City will be there…The best chance to recover your device…And secure your other friends…"
"Exceptin' that one Mears has an aversion to being skewed with thick swords…Forget it…And they're hardly 'friends' of mine…"
"Philip the Antiochene here and my people and a good number of Lord Belisarus' finest guards will be with you, along with our dear lady…Who still remains quite formidable if rather docile…" Procopius noted. "They'll see you safely in and out…You'll be in no danger…"
Philip nodding…No biggee…
Hmmn…A chance to gather all the marbles in my hot little hands vs the likelihood of this motley crew of morons getting me killed…
"Unless you'd prefer to spend the Triumph in Procopius' torture chamber…" Antonia noted brightly….
Hmmn…Well, I would have Buffy the drugged out Slayer on my team…Insurance at least against Slayer assault…'What? Why girls I was protecting your sister…'…Should these idiots blow their little coup…
"Antonia has a point…As do most of the implements…" Belisarus noted, smiling…
Right…Funny soldier boy…
"No need for threats, fellow conspirators…We're all in this together, right?...One for all and all for fun?..." Warren noted…Solemn nod…
"True enough…" Procopius nodded…Must start writing these things of his down…
Hmmn…Figured they'd all want to pray or something to seal the deal…Warren eyed the group…
Night had stolen across the greatest city in Europe like a thief…Profound silence…Utter peace…
Dullsville…God…Warren sighed, turning on his pallet in the room he'd been assigned…
Not a sound…Not even one of those infomercials to watch…
Well, changes will be acomin' once Emperor Warren I takes his throne…
A faint creak…He glanced over at the slave sleeping on a mat on the floor…Assigned to "take care of him"…Yeah, as in …If he were to reconsider the deal…
Still no reason the lower orders can't start earning their keep…He reached to nudge the boy…Or was it a girl…? Never did quite get a good…
"You want something, idiot?..." Antonia looked up at him…Pulling her wig off…And rising from the pallet…Wiping make-up and pulling at some false whipping scars…
He sat bolt upright…
That bully boy Belisarus really acts to keep his interests covered…
Unless of course…The lady wife wants to see what the future holds in the shape of a real man…
"Cicero?...Or whatever your fool name is?...Keep still if you don't want half the house in here...I'm here to help you…"
"To what, an early grave…Very early, considering how far in the past this hick burg was…"
"This help, dormouse brain…Comes from my friend the Augusta herself…" Antonia noted…