Chapter 2

First

I swing my legs over the side of the bed and try to follow the two of them into the kitchen – I assume that's where they would go to get food – but Gaara hears me and looks over his shoulder, "Just stay here, you shouldn't be moving around too much yet," he says calmly.

My first instinct is to argue, but he gives me this sympathetic smile when he sees my aggravated expression. I can feel my face heat up like before. I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out. I just sit there with this stupid expression on my face as I watch them exit.

Still within earshot, I hear Gaara tell Kankuro that after eating, he is to find my friends and make sure that they're okay. Oh wow, I had actually forgotten about them… I mentally slap myself.

I hear Kankuro sigh and reluctantly agree to go and help my friends. I smile to myself; I know he must hate doing boring grunt work almost as much as I do.

They didn't shut the door behind them, and I see that on the other side of the doorway is Gaara's office. So I assume that this bedroom belongs to him; whether he uses it or not. Maybe he does, because I see a couple of possessions lying around… I suddenly wonder how often he goes back to his old home with his siblings…

They've only been gone for a few seconds, and already I'm snooping around. On the bedside table next to the empty glass is a picture surrounded by a simple black frame. I pick it up and see Gaara and his siblings somewhere in the village, and I can't help but smile. Kankuro and Temari are grinning, and Gaara has the slightest hint of a smile in his eyes. They probably took the picture when Gaara first became Kazekage, because they look a couple of years younger than they are now. They look so comfortable together that it sends a wave of warmth through my chest. I can't help but be happy for Gaara, even if I get a little jealous sometimes.

I put the picture down and notice that the table has a drawer attached to it. It has a keyhole, but I discover that Gaara didn't lock it as I open it. There's a blue binder inside… I can't resist. I quickly glance at the door to make sure that Gaara isn't back yet, and then I pull the binder out of the drawer.

I half-expect to find really important documents that I can't understand, but I don't. As I flip through all of the hole-punched white-lined papers, I find that the binder is completely filled with poetry – mostly non-rhyming free verse – and prose.

"This is wrong…" I think aloud as I look up from the binder. I mentally warn myself not to read what he's written, but my curiosity gets the best of me. I start to read one of the poems in the middle of the binder. This isn't just wrong; it's a betrayal of trust.

After reading about two prose and three short poems, I'm tearing up. People who don't know Gaara that well would never suspect this kind of depressing and heart wrenching stuff to come out of a cool and calm person like him. Even I had forgotten how much he's been through in the time that I've been here; he's gotten so good at hiding his pain from others. It physically hurts me to see how recent the entries are that are still so solemn. But I guess he had to find out another way to get out his feelings, now that he's not taking it out on other people, right? And I know he's definitely not the kind of guy that likes to "talk it out." Everything more than the vague back story he gave me in the hospital I've had to wrench out of him. And now I know why; it still hurts him to go into the specifics of everything that happened. And even when he's told me the more emotional parts like what happened with his uncle, he struggles to tell it in anything but a passive voice; he tries so hard to separate himself from it to make it hurt less.

But the poem on the next page really catches my interest, mainly because the date at the top says it was written in this year on my birthday, which was actually only a couple of months ago. Like the majority of the other poems, it's untitled, but right away from the first couple of lines I can tell that his mood was way different when he was writing this one. He was writing about how he really cared about a specific person, and I immediately ruled out his siblings as I discovered that this poem had lovesick intentions behind it. The fact that Gaara has a crush makes me beam with pride, but then the piercing wave of jealousy hits me. Gaara's already preoccupied with someone else. I was convinced it was Matsuri or Sari until I saw that the physical and personal traits he was describing didn't really fit either of them. It's funny though, because I would have never guessed that blonde, ditzy, and bubbly was really his type… Well, that's not exactly the way he worded it, but I'm assuming. I'm trying to picture this blonde haired, blue eyed, overly helpful and enthusiastic girl in my head until I come across the pronoun "he."

I stop reading there because my breath catches in my throat. When exactly did he plan on telling me that he was gay? Did he even plan on telling me at all? I mean… He would trust me enough to tell me, right? Unless… Blonde hair… Blue eyes… My heart starts thumping so hard and loud that it physically hurts. I hurriedly read the rest of the entry and go back again, and now there's no mistaking it. He's really writing about me… About crushing on me…

"I should have known you would do that."

I look up with a horrified expression to see Gaara standing in the doorway with food and drinks in his hands. I panic, and the binder slides off my lap and onto the floor. I don't look at his face; I just can't, "Gaara… I…"

"How much did you….-? Never mind… I can tell just by looking at you," he says quietly, and when I finally look up at him, I can't read his expression at all, which really worries me. He puts the food down on the bedside table and sits on the edge of the bed, on my right.

"G-Gaara… I'm… I'm so sorry…" I stammer. He doesn't even look at me; he's staring off in front of him with that unidentifiable expression… Actually, he almost looks indecisive about something… Maybe… Maybe he's deciding if he wants to kick me out or not… Or maybe he's just trying not to beat the shit out of me…

I plead with him, "That was really wrong of me, Gaara, and I'm really sorry… I shouldn't have…"

He's still not acknowledging me, and I can't tell if he's tuning me out or not, so I gently put my hand on his shoulder, "Gaara… I… Please…" I trail off because he's still not listening. I can feel tears rolling down my cheeks. I may have just completely lost his trust, and no amount of apologies is ever going to fix that. He probably never wants to talk to me again. I can't… I really don't want to lose him… I suddenly feel really scared… I feel… Lost.

But I guess you can say Gaara "finds" me. He suddenly turns to face me, and he tilts my chin up slightly. He leans in, and as his soft lips press against my own, I feel all my worries float away. So that's what he looked so indecisive about before… I smile with relief in between kisses.

His lips have an unidentifiable taste to them, but it's definitely not normal… I think he's wearing some sort of lip balm… Had he…? Had he actually planned on kissing me all along? My face flushed in recognition. So I guess that was another reason to send Kankuro away…

I feel myself starting to slide off the edge of the bed, and I guess he noticed too, because he moves me more towards the center of the mattress so I have a good amount of room to sit.

After a few more kisses, it's like I get this surge of confidence. Why should I hold back if I know for certain he likes me just as much as I like him? I gently bite his ear lobe, and I feel his whole body tense up in response – yeah, you weren't expecting that one, were you, Gaara? But now I can feel him trying not to laugh at me… Almost like I'm some inexperienced child… That actually pisses me off a little. True, the only experience I've had before this was that "accident" with Sasuke – come on, we all know he enjoyed it – and that scary chick who tried to kill me, but it can't be that much less experience than Gaara's had, right…? Am I really wrong about that? I can't even picture Gaara being with someone else now that I know he likes me.

But anyways, if Gaara likes to think that I'm immature and inexperienced, then I'll just have to prove him wrong. I wrap one arm around his waist and easily slide my hand under his shirt. His back feels cool against my overexposed hand. I feel him shudder as my other hand grabs his shoulder. I lean forward, gently pushing him backwards. I fully expect him to comply, but he doesn't. I gasp and tense up as he grabs the wrist of my hand that has been on his back. He persuasively pushes me up against the wooden headboard of the bed frame, and I completely give myself up to him, not wanting to struggle. I'm having a hard enough time as it is keeping myself from wincing because of the sunburns. And it feels good, I guess, though it's hard to admit it to myself since I'm usually the first to take charge in every other aspect of my life.

Gaara's hands slowly alternate combing through my hair, stroking my cheeks, and massaging my back and sides. He's very careful not to press too hard, and it feels so good that I let out a soft moan as his lips move to my neck. He immediately pulls away, pursing his lips, and I laugh out loud because he forgot about the sunburn gel even though he's the one who put it there. I had originally thought he'd avoided putting it on my mouth for ease of eating and drinking, but now I'm wondering if that was planned, too.

He tries to pull completely away from me, but I hold him down; my legs gently but firmly wrap around him, and so do my arms. He pauses for a moment, but then he kisses me again. One of his hands gently cups the back of my neck for better control.

The sudden hook-up slowly loses the feeling of newness and urgency. My body relaxes again as Gaara and I both calm down a little. He lingers for a moment, and then he gently kisses me on the lips one last time. I'm greatly disappointed when he finally pulls away from me, panting a little. He leans back on his hands and looks up at the ceiling.

Even though I'm probably even more tired than he is, I pout theatrically, "What's wrong? Was I too much for you to handle?" He looks back at me and smirks in response to my teasing, but he looks too exhausted to actually say anything back. I didn't say it out loud, but I was actually pleasantly surprised at how not-awkward that was, considering it was my first time willingly kissing someone. And once again, I try hard not to think about how much prior experience Gaara's possibly already had… I'll have to ask him about that later…

I crawl over to Gaara and cradle his face with my hands. He slowly closes his eyes as I pull my face closer to his. My nose lightly brushes his cheek on my way to the tattoo on his forehead, which I kiss lightly. He hugs me closely in response, and I lean down to wrap my arms around him and awkwardly snuggle against his chest. He notices the awkward position and twists to lie down on his back with me resting on top of him.

Gaara takes a breath like he wants to say something. But he pauses awkwardly, as if he's deciding something important. He takes another deeper breath and moves his face closer to my ear, "I love you," he murmurs, and those three words suddenly take on a new meaning for me. They feel so much more important to me than ever before. My body – my chest in particular – feels insanely warm.

I don't respond right away, and I feel him start to get nervous that he had accidentally said something wrong. His fear of rejection and his need for my approval makes me smile, but I decide not to torture him for too long, "I love you too," I giving him a peck on the lips.

I squeeze him tighter, and we stay like that for a long time. The steady sound of his heartbeat is strangely soothing to me. I want to stay like this with him, but tiredness hits me hard, and the pain and exhaustion from earlier today returns to me. My head throbs with excruciating discomfort. I reluctantly give in to the searing pain, and I feel my body weaken in Gaara's arms.

"Get some sleep, Naruto," Gaara murmurs softly. I don't move though, and I wait for a sign of irritation, like an exasperated sigh, but he just cradles me in his arms and gently kisses me on the lips one more time. Then he flips me around and lays my head down on the pillows, "I love you," he repeats softly as he pulls the cover up to my shoulders. I want to respond, but my need for more rest is pulling me out of consciousness. I just smile tiredly and hope he understands that I love him too, with all my heart. And those feelings will never fade.

END.