Title: Bulletproof

Author: Dirge

Date Written: 7-24-10

Summary: Gaz had the most interesting ways of driving Tak back to her psycho boyfriend.

Notes: Okay, I'll admit I'm totally in love with Bulletproof, by La Roux. She's a good singer, and it's a cool song! Sadly, this stories a bit short and, like everything else I write, I just write it and see where it goes. I never, ever have an outline for anything. True story.

Characters: Tak, Zim, Gaz

Warnings:Language

Disclaimer: Nah.

Song(s): Bulletproof *La Roux*

Whenever Tak was broken down by her boyfriend, or anything else, she always went to Gaz. Truth be told, she couldn't stand the human and vice versa, but they were pretty good friends when they needed each other. Kind of like Zim and Dib, but they would never admit it.

"This is your LAST warning." Gaz lectured, looking bored. How many times had she lectured the Irken female about this? She pointed to a picture of some guys goofing off with one black nailed finger. Gaz Membrane had recently discovered the goys of Power Point, and she seemed happy to use it. "Meet the male species. They can be idiots. They can be jerks. Especially in their late teens to late twenties."

"And?" Tak was equally bored. She had a short attention span, and was starting to regret coming.

"Stop interrupting me." Gaz snapped, before regaining her composure. She took a deep breath. "This does not make them bad people. However, if you weren't aware of this fact, because you are naive and sheltered, or because your male friends make a conscious effort to hide it from you (which is sweet and in no way a bad thing)- guys get up to the most disgusting, inane, and ridiculous things."

"No shit." Tak mumbled. Gaz shot her a glare before continuing.

"They like boobs. They like strippers. They like setting random shit on fire. They think farting is hilarious." Tak was about to protest, when Gaz cut her off. "If you think this isn't true, you are WRONG; the boy in question is either gay (in the boring, sensitive, warm and fluffy kind of way), matured long before their time, or have no sense of fun (in which case, why would you date him anyway?)."

The Power Point swapped to a picture of Dib and Zim fighting, when they were thirteen. Tak laughed. "The no sense of fun thing is prominent in young teenage boys- and it isn't that they're not fun- they're just scared/barred from having it. They just fight a lot. Combine drunkenness into the mix, and guys can be real tools. The fact that they attempt to hide their depraved side while sober and act like normal human beings is what makes them so lovable. That, and the fact that they put up with our (the female race's) shit. If you don't mind seeing what some guys get up to, then by all means, come one, come all…have at it!"

Tak sat there in the Goth girls room, one invisible eyebrow raised. "And this is supposed to help me... how?"

Gaz threw a book at her and Tak ducked, and it barely missed her antenna. "Because I'm trying to show you that guys are jerks and you just shouldn't go back to Zim anyway!"

"You said 'have at it'."

"With a normal dude. Not some psycho alien bent on ruling the world." she rolled her eyes.

"I'm bent on ruling the world." Tak replied.

"NOT WHAT I MEANT." Tak ducked as a chair came her way, hitting the wall behind her with a 'thock'.

"I think you're describing a human male." Tak stood up, turning on her human hologram. "Not an Irken like Zim."

"I tried." Gaz shrugged. "Now get out of my room before I call security on you."

Yes, Gaz had some strange ways of driving Tak back to Zim. Mainly by complaining to her about human males and showing her the bad sides, then telling her to never go back to Zim because she knew that if she said that, Tak would go right back to him just to spite her.

And in her own way, Tak was bulletproof.