AUTHOR'S NOTE – READ IT OR EAT IT!

DON'T THINK I WON'T SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!

Oh. My. GOD!

This chapter has 35 pages, 12,426 words, 64,888 characters, and is 43 KB big. [EDIT: Could be more now, since I just corrected some things]

I think I broke my brain reading those numbers – did it break yours, too?

Crap! I had fun, though! XD

Um, let's see...

Alb3l-N0x: Hi! So you're my stalker, now? Cool! Always wanted one. Hm, so that I can be politically correct when referring to you, what's your gender? I don't want to accidentally offend you by calling you a guy when you're a chick, or a girl when you're a dude. I don't want to be hit by my new stalker, mmkay? (Grin)

And yeah, it takes me about...oh, I don't know. Three hours (max) to write each chapter, and then I go work on the next chapter, and the next chapter, and then I check over my previous chapters, submit it, and then go back to work.

As I've told Herr Wozzeck, I have no social life. :3

Also – no! Putting it in a trilogy will break my brain, because then I'll have to decide where to stop for different parts, and that would suck. I need my brain to write, kay?

Intress: If you're still here (oops), you READ my story on a phone? Holy crap! Sorry for your eyes, but I'm glad that you enjoyed yourself. And nope, you can't trade places with me – my spot! Get your own! (Laughs), and you don't sound crazy – I talk like that sometimes, I do. Big fan of Master Yoda, I am! XD

Star Wars geek? Me? Nooo! Never! (Shifty Eyed)

Please enjoy,

GentlyConfused.

PS: I don't own Mass Effect or anything aside from my own soul.

So there.

Chapter 4 – Two weeks of darkness, and a lot of hijinks and laughter.

Garrus is ignoring me now.

I pouted.

That's not fun.

But, fine. I'll be quiet, too.

Don't give me that look – yeah, I'm talking to you! I may be blindfolded, but I know when someone is giving me a doubtful look!

I am female, fear me!

But seriously, I can too be quiet!

Watch me!

I'm still quiet.

Haha.

Not saying a word.

Nope.

Nothing!

Still nothing.

I'm amazed that you're still here, but no, I'm still not saying anything.

Not. A. Word.

Zip.

Nada.

...Silence.

...

Twitch.

"GRAH!" I finally snapped.

"Ah!" Garrus yelled, and I heard some crashing noises.

Pause.

"What was that?" He questioned, incredulous.

"Me trying to be quiet. It backfired." I answered, simply. After a beat, "Are you talking to me now?" I sounded so hopeful right there.

"If it keeps you from doing that again, then yes!"

"Yay!" I clapped.

"What was that?" I heard Ashley shout out. Oh, yeah, my 'grah' sort of echoed in here, didn't it?

My bad.

"That was me!" I yelled back. "It's all cool over here though, no worries! Nothing broke!"

"Says you," Garrus grumbled, and I, at least, had the grace to blush this time.

"Er...sorry?"

I have erred.

I listened with half an ear as Garrus ranted to me about his poor, innocent rifle. I was more busy thinking about my medication.

Plus, I don't really care about his rifle, I added, mentally my eyes.

It's...odd. I'm still me, like I said to Shepard, and I'm still weird, spazzy and mean, but...calmer? I mean, I haven't cussed anyone out today (seriously, anyway – yet. Because, yeah, Miss Sheppy is right, I am a bit of a hot-head) since I took my medication, nor have I been tapping my foot or biting my nails. I haven't heard from my internal voice either, or, if I have, I didn't really notice, since I don't remember.

It's kinda bizarre, actually.

Is this how the average person's mind should be? I wondered, frowning.

"What are you thinking about?"

Ah – Garrus is a sharp one. It only took him ten minutes to realize that I wasn't listening to him.

I'm impressed, really, I am. I applaud his observational skills.

...okay, yeah. Not really.

"My mind," I replied to his question, before I could stop myself. I groaned. "Didn't mean to say that aloud..." I grumbled, annoyed.

"Your mind?" Garrus echoed, sounding bemused. "What for?"

I debated with myself for a little bit, before deciding to...trust...him.

Because I'm a bitch to my instincts.

"Has anyone told you that I'm going on medication now?" I questioned first, partly just because I wanted to know how in the dark he was, and partly because I was wondering if Chakwas, Shepard, Ashley, Kaiden and Joker had spread the news.

I paused at that. Huh. I guess I don't trust them that much, after all.

Damn you, instincts! I'm the bitch here, not you!

Garrus sounded surprised, "No, no one has. What's the medication for? Your eyes?"

That made me sit up straighter, stunned.

Oh.

They didn't tell.

That's...nice. I honestly wouldn't have cared if they had told everyone, but the fact that they didn't...

I suddenly feel warm on the inside.

"No," I breathed, before shaking my head. "No, they're aren't. It's because I have mental issues."

"I could've told you that," He teased.

Ass.

"Haha, Garr-Bear. Ha. Ha." If I knew where he was, I'd kick him. I think this is the first time I've ever really been insulted at being called crazy. "I'm serious. They know that I'm clinically depressed, have a bipolar disorder, and that I'm ADD. So, they've given me some meds to help keep it together."

Pause.

"What's a 'bipolar disorder' and 'ADD'?" He asked, calmly.

I gave him a Tia Answer; blunt and straight to the point.

"Bipolar disorder is basically where your emotions run wild and in circles, and ADD stands for 'Attention Deficit Disorder', where someone has issues concentrating. Do turians have something similar?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"Yeah, we do," I imagined that he nodded. He hesitated, "Is that...why you're thinking about your mind?"

"Uh huh. It's kinda weird. Not bad, just strange. It's the fact that I'm calmer, but still me, and I am not a calm person. I'm a manic," I pointed out. "I love yelling and spitting out curses. I love being a pest, and I love causing chaos and mayhem, just because it's funny. Sure, I have a conscience, but, for the most part, I don't really listen to it unless it's important. But, that's beside the point; my point is, I'm still me, but calm, and that's confusing me."

Thoughtful Pause.

"Maybe you're just a confusing person," Garrus guessed.

I mentally blinked, taken aback.

"What?"

I'm not sure if I should feel insulted or complimented by that.

"Well, think about it. You already admitted that you liked causing chaos, right?" I nodded. "Maybe this is just how your mind embodies that trait."

I paused, mulling that over. "That...actually makes sense," I decided.

"Of course it did – I said it," He said smugly, and oh my God! I thought he didn't get a noticeable ego until ME2!

Or maybe I just never paid him any attention until then, I thought, actually sad.

Garrus was actually a pretty good guy, you know? He's like the obnoxious brother I never had – Bubba's my nice, mildly annoying, understanding one.

But I guess that Garrus also has the ability to be sensitive, too, since he just eased my mind and all, and I appreciate that.

However, I really didn't like the arrogance in that sentence; if there's one thing that pissed me off more than stupidity, it had to be arrogance, even if it's just a slightly big ego.

So I scowled, and said, "Hey, Garrus?"

I listened closely, straining my ears.

"Yeah?"

Over there! I thought victoriously, and I then kicked him.

"Ow!" I think I hit his shoulder.

"Stop being an arrogant ass!" I finished, smirking.

"I'm not!" He actually whined.

Do badass turians with a future of being the Archangel whine?

Apparently so.

"Pifft! Yeah, right," I drawled, sarcasm dripping from my voice. "Pull the other one. It's got bells on it."

There was another pause, and, strangely, I felt some dread during this one. I got the feeling that I was going to regret that sentence.

What is he thinking? I wondered, resisting the urge to scoot back.

I'm not a coward, damn it!

"Oh? Really?" He mused, and then I felt a grip on my leg. I barely had time to think, furiously, he's not – !

He did!

He yanked on my leg and I fell to the floor, ass first.

Again!

Ow! My ass!

"GARRUS!" I shrieked, flabbergasted and enraged. I hope I burst his ear drums! "YOU ASSHOLE!"

"But you said – !" Haha! Did he actually think he could pretend to be a stupid turian? And get away with it?

Not bloody likely!

"ASS. HOLE!"

"Children! Behave!" Ashley yelled at us, and I heard a smirk in her voice.

"Ashley, stay out of this! This is between me and the deformed Care Bear here!" I took a chance and flung myself to where I thought Garrus was.

"Oof! Get off!"

Ha. I have successfully landed in Garrus's lap.

Sadly, I am not a Garrus fangirl, so I took no pleasure in sitting in his bony-ass lap.

"Not until you apologize, jerk!" I slapped his chest plate, causing a loud CLANG that ended up hurting my hand, but damned if I was letting him know that!

"You kicked me!" He protested.

"No, your ego bit you in the ass, that's what happened! Apologize! I'm just a defenseless, blind human girl, and you pulled me off my box!"

My box, damn it!

"Ha! You're blind, I'll give you that, but you aren't defenseless!" He pushed me off and I squawked in indignation. I think I landed on some gun parts.

Oh, that's it! I'm gonna eat him alive!

"HISS!" I violently hissed, and then I lunged to where I last heard him.

Unfortunately, I didn't get to eat him, because this is Garrus we're talking about. He's basically a cop right now, and what do cops love doing? It's the classic 'Grab Offender By Their Wrists, Twist Arms and Hold Them Against the Ground ' Maneuver.

And I hated it with all of my being.

"Gah!" I, of course, squirmed, because, hello, there is no way I'd just sit there and take it. Plus, I'm my mother's daughter, and Jennifer Late was a menace to the police force before she got sick – she would taunt them with pig calls while driving by, going beyond the speed limit, and doing hot checks. Of course, by the end, she had this amusing Love-Hate thing with the police going on there, and I think they were actually rather fond of her (things were never boring), but it didn't change the fact that she was a menace to the poor bastards.

I think I hear Ashley's muffled laughter – nearby.

Oh, thanks, Ash. Just stand there and laugh at me; don't worry, I won't get offended at all.

Yeah, right.

You guys know me better than that, yeah?

Of course you do. You're smart!

"Are you going to behave now?" Garrus asked, sounding bored, and that pissed me off even more.

I growled, but then I went quiet, silently fuming.

Shepard might be as stubborn as I am, but everyone else is easy pickings! I was quiet for so long out of sheer stubbornness that I freaked Garrus out when I finally lost it (I think I was quiet for about twenty minutes, maybe more), because I guess he thought he won, and he forgot about me for a while there – ha!

He should know that I always win.

...when I'm lucky, and I'm a helluva lot luckier than most people.

Want proof?

I downed a fucking krogan without dying! Of course, I used his 'Rawr! Charge!' thing against him and dodged at the last minute, and he ran into the wall, and while he was getting his bearings together, I used those precious, precious seconds to pelt him with grenades and then I ducked – and hit the bar stand, because the gods love messing with me (this is where I got my concussion from). Once the grenades went off, I then promptly fired off my pistol until I was certain that he was dead.

And, hehe, yeah, most of the damage that Udina is probably still spazzing about was caused by that.

But, ha! I'm fucking lucky and smart!

And, yes, I told you about my fight because I realize that the scene changed before you would witness my awesomeness back at Chora's Den.

I got impatient, kay?

But my point is, I will outlast Garrus Vakarian, mark my words!

I was still stubbornly not saying a damn thing, my determination fueled by my self-righteous anger this time, when Shepard, Tali, Wrex and Liara ran into the Storage Bay, panting and sounding a bit frazzled – well, Wrex just seemed pumped, but that's Wrexy-Baby for you.

Oh, and how did I know that they were back, aside from the hanger door opening and everything? It's because, a while ago, I felt a twinge in the Force, like it just went 'oh shit!' on me (I think it was Joker, actually), and the Normandy sort of swerved a bit, and then it picked up on speed. Then there was the rumbling, and then the landing, and then they rushed in.

Garrus and Ashley were wondering what was going on. (Hey! Where's Seth? Damn it! That man is never around when I could use his help! First, it was my box, and now it's Garrus being an ass to me. What's next? Wrex deciding that he's had enough of me, and tries to off me? Then again, I doubt Seth would be much help there)

Anyway, I just wanted Garrus to get off – he didn't even bother with getting off of me in all of the commotion.

I think he enjoys my suffering.

Asshole.

Tali was the first to notice me and Garrus. "What are you doing?" she sounded incredulous.

I don't blame her, do you?

At this point, Garrus was still sitting on me ( – actual sitting this time – ), while he was tending to his rifle, to add insult to my injured pride. I doubt that I looked too impressed, either, since I was laying on my stomach with one hand propping up my face, and the other one was slowly drumming it's fingers against the floor.

I certainly didn't feel impressed, that's for sure.

"Eh, they're just playing around," Ashley informed them, acting like it's no big deal.

"He's sitting on me!" I stated the obvious, sounding annoyed.

"She's being a child and I'm disciplining her," He sounded so damn smug.

I squawked, indignant.

"Bullshit! You're just mad that I kicked you – for being an arrogant ass, I might add! I'm just a defenseless, blind human here!"

"You aren't defenseless. You're dangerous," Garrus retorted.

Is it such a bad thing that I actually feel proud about that?

Naw.

"Oh, shut up and get off me! I heard another set of footsteps, so I know that there's a new person here and I need to introduce myself – I have manners!"

And then Joker butted in with this lame-ass joke;

"Was that before or after you ran into that wall?" He piped in, and I heard a grin. Damn eavesdropper!

"ALMOST! I almost ran into a wall!" I corrected, snarling. However, with a snicker, Garrus finally got off me, so I got up too. I heard Wrex lumbering over to his spot, probably to drop off some of his new toys over there. Tali was smothering snickers at my situation, but she had a cute giggle, so I wasn't too annoyed at her.

"You both suck," I muttered, popping my back. Since I couldn't see, I didn't see the looks of disgust people shot at me for that. I paused, "So, who is the new person? I assume that they're female."

Liara sounded startled. "Why yes, I am. How did you know?"

"Skills," I shrugged. Plus, I cheated, what with ME and everything. "I'm pretty good at recognizing and sorting footsteps. Who're you?"

"She's Liara T'Soni," Shepard answered, who had been quiet until now. Hm. She sounded tried and hurt. I think I heard a bit of a limp, too, as she began walking further in the Storage Bay. "She's – "

"Sorry, commander," I apologized, looking towards her voice sharply. "But you're hurt. Medi-gel?"

"It can wait," Shepard said, dismissively. Gah!

"Bullshit," I tapped my foot, frowning.

"Serviceman," She warned, and I huffed.

Well, excuse me for being concerned here.

"Fine. I'll ease off. I'll ambush you later." I paused, and then mumbled, "Crap. Giving away plans of ambushing is not a smart move..." I spoke up. "Nice to meet you Liara T'Soni, I'm Serviceman Tiana Late. You sound fatigued; you might want to go sit down somewhere, drink some water," I airily commented, and then said, "The turian that's hovering somewhere near me is Garrus Vakarian, and I've decided to adopt him as my brother. He's annoying enough."

"Hey!"

"Don't deny it."

Before we could really get going into a verbal bashing, Shepard stopped us. "Knock it off you two! We're going to the comm room for a meeting, and to properly introduce Dr. T'Soni to everyone," She paused, and then said, in a knowing tone, "Did you get that Joker?"

A pause. Then grudgingly, "Yes, commander. I'll tell Alenko. I take it you want me to send out a retrieval team to get the Mako?"

"Yes, please," She said pleasantly, like she didn't have creepy powers of observation (and maybe good hearing, too?).

Damn, Shepard is good. Even when she's injured (granted, I don't know how badly), she never misses a beat.

I've picked the perfect role model.

And to think, for a while there, I used to idolize Jack. Of course, I still think that she's freaking rockin', but I need an awesome and an emotionally stable adult as a role model.

Note; "Emotionally Stable".

You know, it is damn eerie to walk around blindfolded. It's dark, since I can't see any light because of the bandages covering my eyes (which is the point), and I have to depend on the others around me to keep me from running into anything.

It's unnerving for someone with trust issues. In the back of my mind, even when I'm bantering with others, I'm preparing myself to run into something, because if you can run into a wall or a door in a certain way, it won't hurt as much – I know this, because I used to purposely run into walls and shit for my friends when I was younger, so that they could be happy and entertained.

A bit messed up, I admit, but I never had any real friends until high school, when my friends broke apart and drifted to other circles, leaving me to my own devices. And I had fun tormenting and scaring the shit out of people, since I was no longer bound by their ties of loyalty.

But it's really, really unnerving, forcing myself out of my comfort zone to trust people like this. And so far...my trust hasn't been taken for granted, and I haven't ran into anything, aside from Garrus (but that's just Garrus) – hell, even Wrex hasn't done that to me (yet, anyway), and I would've thought he would. He seems like the type, you know? But, Wrex does have some kind of honor code, doesn't? I think so, anyway, so maybe taking advantage of a 'weak, blind human pipsqueak of a girl' for kicks doesn't appeal to him?

Then again, he could just be lulling me into a false sense of security, because honor or no honor, this is Wrex we're talking about here.

Meh.

As we filed into the comm room, sitting down (okay – Kaiden guided me to a chair) and getting comfy, Joker's voice came on over the intercom.

He sounded as cocky as ever, but I think the adrenaline ran out of his system, because he sounded a bit weary.

"That really was too close commander; ten more seconds, and we would have been molten sulfur, " He said, seriously, before adding in, "The Normandy isn't designed to land in exploding volcanoes. They tend to fry our senors, and melt our hull – just, you know, for future reference."

I giggled, but coughed. I smirked, "And I thought I told you guys not to blow anything up!" I teased.

"We almost died out there, and your pilot and crew member are making jokes?" Liara marveled, sounding bewildered.

Oh, poor 'Ara. Don't worry, sweetie, I'll teach you all you need to know about sarcasm later. I thought at her.

And then a thought occurred to me; Hey, wait. Is Miss Sheppy going to hook up with Liara or Kaiden? I picked Liara during my play through, but Shepard is her own person – she can do whatever she wants.

It's true. This Shepard (who looks like my Shepard, but isn't my Shepard), is her own person. I still don't know what background story she has, or if she has her own unique story line, and she's not even a biotic – she's a soldier, and, apparently, she's good at tech stuff, too, while mine couldn't hack her way out of a paper bag. She has her own thoughts, her own ideas, her own personality, her own personal quirks...

It's cool. It's like, my idea of what my Shepard was like came to life, but only with more depth and layers. Lots of hidden layers are behind those purple eyes of hers, like she's seen a lot of things that no one should see – old. But they were also sharp and intelligent.

Well, at least there's that – she has my Shepard's Sherlock Holmes thing, right? I wonder if she was a fan of the 'ancient' book series as a child, too...

The other characters have more depth to them, too. More life like. I haven't really interacted with them much, preferring to mostly cling to Shepard (which I need to change, if I'm going to grow any as a person), but, hey I have months to get to know these guys – it's only been, what? Two, three(ish) days?

Yeah. I have time.

And whoa! All of those thoughts that I just had only lasted but a few seconds, because I caught Shepard's reply to Liara.

I. Caught. It!

"It's a coping mechanism," I heard Shepard say, in a calm, scholarly way. I heard a smile, "You'll get used to it," she assured, gently.

"I...see," Liara said, shy as ever. "It must be a human thing. I don't have a lot of experience dealing with your species, commander," she told Shepard in a respectful and polite tone.

W-what the –! When I zone out, I zone out! I don't just, just, snap back in a few seconds!

Is this because of the medication? I wondered, bewildered. I fucking love it now!

I hate missing things because I'm thinking about something! Do you have any idea how annoying that can get?

Really annoying.

"I am grateful to you – all of you. You saved my life back there, and not just from the volcano. Those geth would've killed me or dragged me off to Saren."

No! Not my Little Wing! I mock-cried in my head, but wisely kept silent. No need to make 'Ara flip out...no matter how funny it could've been.

"What would Saren want with you? Do you know something about this Conduit?" Kaiden questioned, and, once again, I am thrown off by the fact that he sounds like Carth Onasi from Knights of the Old Republic.

It was why I avoided him like the plague in ME. It was just too weird, I recalled. I've already romanced one Carth – I didn't need to go through that emotional hell again, even if it had paid off for my character in the end.

Seriously. Once was enough.

"Only that it is somehow connected to the Prothean Extinction; that is my real area of expertise," Liara replied. I heard some fabric move, so I assume that she squirmed a little in her seat. Hm. Maybe everyone is staring at her, and she's uncomfortable with it? Understandable, since she hasn't had much interaction with others. "I have spent the past fifty years trying to find out what happened to them."

...gah. She said that so causal like.

"Wow," I breathed. "Fifty years. How old are you, Miss T'Soni?"

Sorry, Shepard. I stole your question. My bad, I thought sheepishly.

Liara hesitated, "I hate to say it, but, I am...only a hundred-and-six," She admitted softly, sounding embarrassed.

I whistled, leaning into my seat. That is a lot. And yet, not, if you think about it – it's just fifty plus fifty and a six. Small numbers. I think by asari standards, Liara is probably around Tali's age, give or take a couple of years...sounds about right.

"Damn!" Ashley cursed, sounding shocked. "I hope I look that good at your age!"

"What? Early to mid twenties?" I asked in a mild tone, yawning. Damn, fighting with Garrus took a lot of me...bastard.

Pause. "What?" Ashley asked, confused.

"What?" I said back, just as confused. Then it dawned on me. I said that aloud! "Oh! Um...well, like she said, she's only a hundred-and-six. By human standards, I'd say she's about Tali's age, in her twenties. Miss T'Soni is really young, Ash. Asari just age much more slowly than we do; that's all." I shrugged, and, feeling some stares on my person, I sunk into my chair, sheepish. "Um...hi?" I squeaked.

"You seem very familiar with asari matters, serviceman." Liara stated, sounding interested.

"Uh...yeah. It's one of my more interesting quirks; I know a lot about Asari, Krogans, Turians, Salarians, Batarians, Rachni, and, well. I just know my foreign races. I know some stuff about Protheans, too, but not all that much, just the stuff everyone else knows. Hence why I haven't said anything. What's the point in pointing out what everyone else already knows, right?" I explained, looking mildly miffed. "So, whoever it is that's glaring at me, all offended like, stop it."

And that was all basically true – even the last part, because I can feel the glare.

Garrus chuckled. "You're a bit off," He informed me, oh so kindly. "No one's glaring. But we are staring."

Oh – "we". That's why it feels like a glare.

"Then stop it!" I whined, trying to curl up in my seat to hide, looking irritated.

Why are we even discussing this? So I'm a geek that knows her aliens – shove off!

I heard Shepard chuckle, "Alright, we're getting side tracked now. Let's get back to business," she said seriously, and then the conversation went on smoothly from there, and I didn't say a word, perfectly content with everyone ignoring my 'strange hobby', or whatever it was they thought my knowledge was.

Thank you God!

Most would assume that these guys would be mighty suspicious if some eighteen year old high school drop out (or impending one – there is a reason why most of my school books were freshmen or sophomore level) knew about alien races, however, I have one word for you;

Extranet.

Shepard shooed us out so that she could talk to the Council, and, on a whim, I decided to stick with Liara.

Why not? She's a new person! Plus, she sort of reminds me of how Addy was when we first met – she was so shy back then...

"Is it okay if I stay with Miss T'Soni?" I asked my teammates, for once sounding genuinely innocent. I don't know how I managed that. "I want to get to know the new person!"

"Sorry, Tia," Ashley said, grabbing my arm. "But you need to go to the gym." She pulled me.

What?

"Say what?" I asked, sounding oddly worried. "I thought Kaiden said that I wasn't training until my eyes healed!"

"No, you aren't you. You can't do any training courses blindfolded – no newbie is that good. But you still need to loose weight!" She lectured.

Oh shit, I'm blushing.

"You don't need to see to run on a treadmill, tubby!" Ashley continued, and I gaped.

S-she called me tubby!

Bitch!

"Bu-I...fine," I sulked, pouting. "Just yell at me at lot. That tends to encourage me. Or kill my ego, depending."

Hey, at least I'm honest, right?

I.

Fucking.

HATE.

Running.

I was currently gasping for breath on the ground next to the treadmill, and my legs burned and ached.

Ashley made me run for FORTY MINUTES STRAIGHT!

I think I'm dying.

Oh cruel world – I always hated your guts! I hope you die with me!

I grunted when I felt a boot prod my side, and I automatically curled up around it.

"Tia! Let go!"

I didn't let go.

"You. Poked. My. Side." I growled, weakly. The Tia is all out of Energizer Max. "I hate that," I whined.

And yes, I was sulking.

I tend to do that. I'm childish.

Ashley sighed. She sounded so put upon.

"Come on, tubby. Get up. You need some water." She reminded me, and she appealed to my knowledge of Health and Safety, my favorite class outside of English.

I weakly yowled, like a pained cat, but I let her foot go, and I sat up.

"Seriously, I still don't know how you're at the weight you are at – you're constantly bouncing off the walls!"

"Slow metabolism and nowhere to exercise before this," I replied, tiredly. For once, I actually let someone pull me up without a fight. I was too damn tried to bitch or hesitate.

I don't think I can even kick Garrus's ass in this condition; that's how tried I am!

"Hm; did you want to exercise?" She asked, and gently tugged me over to a bench.

"Yeah, but Dad wouldn't let me leave the house. I'm the baby of the family, and he was overprotective of me," I said quietly, still sulking. "I had days were I had wander-lust, and I really, really, really wanted to go walk or something, but Dad didn't want to risk it. I'm a girl," I pointed out, sensing that she'd understand my meaning.

She did. It's a woman thing.

"And there are a lot of freaks out there. I understand his reasoning, even if I don't really agree with it," She helped me sit down. "He sounds like he was a good dad, though. He wanted you to be safe."

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "Yeah, but he was still thick headed."

And a jerk.

"Most men are," I heard a smile. "Wait here. I'll grab us some water."

"Mmkay," I mumbled, straightening out my clothes.

I winced as my legs tightened, but I bent over to gently rub my ankles instead, because they hurt the most. I have weak ankles, something I inherited from my Dad, I think; it's why I always wear boots, because they support my ankles better. Sprained ankles are the worst for someone like me, because I'm practically disabled afterwords. I have to stay off that foot and not do anything until I heal, or risk breaking my ankle.

Seriously, when Ashley had me take my boots off, I was really hesitant. When I told her about my problem, she sounded troubled, but was down right determined anyway; she just told me that, if it felt like they were about to sprain themselves, then I should stop, and then we'd do something else.

But they didn't sprain, thank goodness.

Despite all of my bitching and moaning about running, I actually had some fun. Having Ashley yell at me to keep me on my toes was really great, because it was entertaining and she had all sorts of creative insults. Plus, it was so good to just run. I can't really describe how...freeing, it felt to run for the first time in years – to simply run for exercise and fun, and not because someone's life was on the line. I haven't done that since I was real little, back when I'd play in my backyard with my Mom, who had this loud, cackling laugh that always made me giggle in response...

It's...almost magical, actually. It's like something I've lost just popped by to say hi, and then hugged me.

I moved my hands up to my legs, wincing at the stabs of pain that just bitch slapped me.

Ow.

I think it's hugging me too tightly, I thought, sourly.

I sighed, then smiled brightly.

At least I don't have a gay ass run anymore! Ashley helped me correct my running stance, and taught me breathing exercises along with the stretches.

Now I have an awesome run –

…okay, okay, Ashley said it was 'acceptable', but whatever.

Don't be such a kill joy, sheesh...

Ashley came back with the water, and handed me a bottle.

"Here," I heard a smile as she pressed the bottle into my hand.

"Thanks," I smiled back. I uncapped it and downed half of the bottle in one go.

"No problem, kiddo," She said, sitting down next to me. She uncapped her own, but then laughed at me, "Slow down, or you're going to choke!"

"Sorry," I smiled sheepishly.

I paused, and turned to Ashley. I could feel her body heat next to mine, so it was easy.

"Hey, Ashley?" I looked down, shyly playing with the bottle.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you," I said sincerely, because she gave me back the joy of running, something that I used to love as a kid, but that happiness was resented after everything that happened, because I forgot about it under all of the pain. I think, once I get used to it again...I think I could really like running.

Mind boggling, really. It's almost similar to the Meatloaf Incident; I used to hate meatloaf, but I never tried it because it looked, quite frankly, gross as hell. Didn't eat it for years, until, finally, I decided to humor my long suffering sister-in-law, and I nibbled on some – and I loved it!

Still doesn't change the fact that I'm a picky eater, but now I can acknowledge that, yeah, trying new things can be good, but just I'm too stubborn to eat something unfamiliar.

It's as simple as that.

So, yeah, it's similar.

I felt Ashley ruffle my slightly damp hair, and I heard another smile, but this one was somehow...warmer, "You're welcome."

I smiled.

I think I just grew up a little bit, I noted brightly.

"Okay, now. Are you sure that you can keep your eyes closed?" Ashley asked me, for the umpteenth time. "Do you want me to help you?"

NO! That would be mortifying!

"No!" I vehemently denied, flushing. "Just...just, show me where everything is, and I'll take care of it. So, can I go take that shower now?"

Please?

"Alright," She reluctantly said. I know she means well, but...gah! No one has witnessed me being naked since I was five years old!

And no one is going to see me naked until I'm dead and in a morgue! I thought viciously, peeved. I paused. Yeah, all future boyfriends and girlfriends – no peeking, or I'll maim you!

So I'm a prude. Fuck you, too. I'm a very private person – as Ashley just found out when I all but freaked out on her a few minutes ago.

Argh. Screw military protocol about shared showers! They can take those shared showers, and shove them up their –

"Now, are you sure..."

– asses. Hello there, Ashley dear, I forgot about you for a second there...

"Yes, I'm sure. I know where everything is. Now go guard the door. I'll be out in five minutes," I paused, and frowned, "Stop giving me that doubtful look!"

"How do you do that, anyway?" She sounded amused.

"Skills," I grinned playfully. "Now shoo. Please, Ashley?"

She sighed, but left. "I'll be timing you!"

"Good! Then I can rub it in your face later!" I retorted, not missing a beat.

There is a reason why my friends don't usually get into verbal spars with me – aside from the Teddy Bear. He's kinda like the Wrex of my circle of friends back home, but quieter and more annoying, and just as intimidating. Somehow, he always gets the last word in our little verbal games, and pisses me off every time.

But I get the Last-last word, because I get to mock him, mister tall scary guy, with a sweet and fluffy sounding nickname.

I don't play fair.

"I'm done!" I shouted, and I felt smug.

I was done in two minutes.

New record for me, since I'm usually the type that stays in the shower or bath for hours – but I always rise to a challenge, no matter what it is!

I kept my eyes firmly shut while I heard the door open again.

"Wow, you actually managed to do it in less than five minutes," I felt her look me over, probably making sure I didn't put my clean clothes on backwards or something.

Okay; seriously. I may be a bit slow in the head, but I'm not stupid – I can feel for the tags, you know.

Geez...

I'm currently wearing my old clothes; a red turtle neck shirt, a black cotton vest, a pair of black jeans, and my brightly rainbow colored toe-socks, which clashed terribly with the more serious colors of my outfit.

Hence why I love wearing them.

"You actually look good in retro clothing. Most people look really stupid, but you pull it off well. It's like you just stepped out of some historical vid," Ashley complimented me, and I heard another smile.

Oh, Ashley. Ashley, Ashley, Ashley. You're so close, but not quite, I thought, amused, No cigar for you, hon.

If I could see, I'd probably be tempted to pinch her cheeks.

"Thanks, Ash. My favorite are the socks!" I beamed, wiggling my toes.

She laughed. "They are pretty dorky looking," Ashley mused, and I gaped.

B-but...they're rainbow colored!

You know? Walk with the rainbow?

...they aren't dorky, right?

Right?

"Stop gaping like a fish put your boots on," Ashley ordered me, pressing my boots into my hands.

"Yes, ma'am," I pouted.

"Hi, Dr. Chakwas!" I greeted as Ashley steered me into the med center.

"Hello, dear. I see that you took a shower," She noted, probably seeing my wet hair and the fact that I didn't have my bandages on.

"Yep! And in two minutes flat!" I added, and smirked. "Right, Pink Phoenix?"

What? I think it's fitting!

"Still don't know how she did it, since she can't see – " My nickname suddenly seemed to register in her brain, because she smacked me! Ow! "What?" She demanded, and I whined, holding my head.

"Ow!" I whimpered, just to be over dramatic. It didn't hurt, so much as sting. "It's your favorite amour!" I protested.

"Then just call me Phoenix, tubby! Pink Phoenix, my ass..." She grumbled. "Sounds like something from some kiddy vid..."

Chakwas laughed at us. "I'm beginning to think that you live to annoy others, Miss Late." She mused – she must have heard some stories. Yay! I have a reputation! "Now, sit down over here,"

The lady moved me over to a bed, and I obediently sat down. She began to reapply some fresh bandages when Ashley spoke up.

"Hey, doc, do you think that you can watch her? I told the guys that I'd go help out with the repairs on the Mako in an hour. That's ten minutes from now," She said, and Chakwas shrugged, because I heard the movement of fabric.

And I take offense at the 'can you watch her?' thing! I'm not a three year old child, thank you very much!

"I don't see why not. She may be a hellion to everyone else, but she's a nice girl around me. Aren't you, sweetheart?" Chakwas teased, petting me on the head.

I scowled, grumpily crossing my arms, but I didn't say anything. Compared to my interactions with everyone else, aside from Shepard, I'm an angel when I'm visiting Chakwas.

She sort of reminds me of my mother-in-law, but with more steel and attitude. She has that 'aging' gracefully thing going on for her, and it gives her this type of elegance that most women younger than can never imitate, and it made her look classy and beautiful; I'm sure there's a few young men on broad that have the classic 'I have a crush on my teacher!' thing going on for them, even though they'll never do anything about it.

It's kinda cute to think about.

Ashley made a disbelieving snort. "Her? Nice? Haha, right. She can be an okay kid, sure, but nice? She's a brat!"

"Love you, too...Pink Phoenix," I shot back, feeling strangely offended.

"See!"

"Oh, shut up and go fix the Mako's boo-boos!" I finally snapped, annoyed. "Stop picking on me!"

I twitched when Joker's voice floated in, feeling the over whelming urge to kill something.

"But it's so fun!" He said, with a grin in his voice. "Nothing is more entertaining than to watch you fume and throw a fit!"

"Joker! Stop stalking me, you, you pedo!"

Yes, I'm aware that was lame.

"You're of legal age," He pointed out, also knowing that the comeback was lame and had a serious hole in it.

"So what? Just...shoo!"

"Hi, Miss T'Soni!" I cheered, entering the room.

After Chakwas re-bandaged my eyes, and after Joker and Ashley stopped irritating me, I asked if she knew where the new girl was, as if I didn't know, and she guided me to Liara's nest.

What? I think that's a fitting codename, since her childhood nickname was 'Little Wing'. You know, birds?

Yeah.

But before I had requested to see Liara, I asked if Shepard stopped by for medical attention (no), and then I told Chakwas about the limp.

Right now, I'm sure that Chakwas was scolding Shepard like a disobedient child, just like I planned.

I told Shepard that I was going to ambush her – I just sent the doctor in to do my dirty work.

The commander isn't the only one that's clever, you know.

"Oh, hello!" Liara sounded surprised as I entered the room. I heard her put something down (datapad?) and then I heard her hesitant, soft footfalls. "Would you like to sit down?"

"Sure!" I smiled and I let her gently tug at my arm, as if she was afraid she'd hurt me. Normally, something like that would piss me off, but this is Liara – it's impossible to get mad at her, you know? It'd be like stepping on a kitten.

A sweet, innocent kitten, at that.

She sat me down, and I heard another smile, "There you go. Are you, uh, comfortable?"

You can almost see her fidgeting, don't you? Same here.

"Uh huh," I nodded, and then I noticed that the seat was warm. "Hey, this is your chair!" I protested, "I didn't want to steal your chair away from you!"

I almost stood up, but she quickly interrupted me.

"Oh, no! Please don't be mad," She pleaded, and she made me feel like an ass for being nice. "I needed to stand up, anyway," she laughed nervously. "I was sitting down for too long..."

I frowned. "Yeah, but you still sound fatigued. You should sit down," I told her gently, standing up this time. I carefully shuffled away from the chair, and then crossed my arms, frowning sternly. "Now, sit down and relax. You shouldn't sacrifice your own comfort for others like that!"

It never does you any good, in the end, I thought darkly, having some flashbacks.

"But..."

I wouldn't hear of it. I knew that she was stuck inside that glowing force field-thing for a long time, and she needed to take care of herself before she freaking collapsed.

"Na uh! Sit." Anyone could tell that, if I could see, I'd be pointing at the chair in question. "If anything, you should go to sleep, but I'm not your mother – or anyone's mother, at that, thank goodness. I'd be a horrible parent. I feel sorry for any future spawn of mine. Now sit down."

Yes, I purposely rambled on after the mother comment, because I had belatedly realized that it might have struck a cord in her.

Liara was quiet for a few seconds, before I heard her hesitantly walk over to the chair, and she sat down.

I smiled, "Thank you, Miss T'Soni."

And I promptly sat down on the floor. "Am I facing you?"

"Um...yes?"

"I'll take that as a no," I said dryly, but shrugged. "Ah, well. If it doesn't bother you that I'm not facing you, then I won't let it bother me, either. Now! What's your favorite color?"

Yes, I'm starting slow.

Shut up. I gotta ease her into this socializing with people thing.

I was serious about teaching her sarcasm, you know.

"Ah, favorite color?" She asked, bemused.

"Yeah, what color do you favor the most? If you absolutely had to wear the same color, for the rest of your life, what color would it be?"

Liara thought about that for a while, and I could hear her fidgeting a little.

"Yellow," She finally decided, and that took me by surprise.

I'd figure blue, purple, or green – but, yellow? Really? That's Shepard's color. Strange. I never thought that Liara would like that color; it's a very loud color.

Then again, my favorite color is a calm one, so it'd be hypocritical of me to criticize her for liking a loud color – not that I was anyway.

Remember; kitten.

"Yellow?" I repeated, lightly. "Why?"

"Because it's...a happy color," I heard her smile quietly. "What color do you favor?"

"I like blue," I said promptly. "But it's a certain shade of blue. It's the color of the Earth's sky. A nice, pretty, light blue. I like it because...well, it's calming. Yeah, that's it. I like it because it's a nice, calm color that doesn't inspire feelings of intense energy in me," I smiled.

I have enough of that on my own, I thought, amused.

"That's beautiful," I heard Liara smile, sounding awed. "That put a very picturesque image in my mind's eye."

I mentally blinked. Picturesque?

Oh God, I thought, faintly horrified. I don't know the vocabulary of that word!

That's never happened before.

The sad thing is, I can't look it up because I'm blindfolded now.

Damn.

I was taking a Tia Nap on one of the hospital beds (I suggested the same to Liara, but she didn't want to just yet. She's oddly stubborn, you know that?), when Chakwas and Shepard came back – the later without a limp in her walk, I was pleased to note.

"You're sneaky," I heard Shepard accuse me, causing me to snicker.

"Uh huh," I said smugly, rolling over on my back. I was about to get up. "Whacha gonna do about it?"

"Oh, I don't know," Shepard said in a causal tone. "What about...this?"

And then she tickled me! What the fuck? Since when do badass commanders tickle people?

How the hell did she know that I was ticklish, anyway?

"Stop it!" I protested while giggling like a little girl, wounding my pride. Damn her!

It's time for dinner now, and I was moodily waiting for Kaiden to get my food for me, because I was still annoyed about the tickle attack, and, you know, I can't fucking see.

Which pissed me off.

Normally, I'd be delighted that others are doing my bidding, like the minions I've always wanted for Christmas, but now I know; I am a very independent person, and having everyone take care of me annoys living daylights of me.

And do you have any idea how hard it is to eat blindfolded? Really hard, and you have to be real careful, otherwise, you'll get your food, sure – but it'll be all over your face, and not in your mouth.

I'm just glad that no one has offered to feed me. I'd be forced to choke them to death, blindfolded or not, and then I'd be sad.

For like five minutes, and then I'd dance on their grave – with The Backstreet Boys as my music choice.

...and shut up, I like those guys.

It just further proves my case of being a demented and evil person.

Which reminds me, I need to download their music.

Oh, wait.

I can't because –

I CAN'T FUCKING SEE!

Grr...

Muffins. I want muffins. But there aren't any muffins here.

It's tragic. I don't think they even have bagels.

I can't wait for ME2, so that we can have real food – food I like!

Not this...bland military food.

I'm beginning to doubt that these guys have ever even heard of those cute donations from the school kids. You know, the donations where kids write letters and collect food to send out to the troops? Those absolutely darling children that send out pop tarts and chicken noodle soup, with cute little drawings and sloppy letters?

Yeah, those guys.

I don't think they exist here.

That's kinda sad, actually. I know that the people with kids get stuff, but what about the others? What about those guys that don't have any family or friends to communicate with back home? What about them? Do they even have anything to look forward to when vacation comes around? A girlfriend? Boyfriend? Pets? Neighbors? Anything?

It's...sad, to think about. Because you know that there are soldiers out there like that, because some people have the worst luck – I, of all people, should know that.

I frowned thoughtfully, carefully, and politely, eating the bland soup that was given to me.

I thought for a moment, and then I smiled.

I have an idea.

In two weeks time, things are going to change around here.

It will be a small change, for sure, and I doubt that anyone would even care too much, but despite that, it'll still be a pleasant change, small or not.

Because you know, I may be a bitch sometimes, but I'm not heartless.

Alright, I'm impatient, so I'm going to fast forward a bit.

I'm only going to include events that are either my favorite, or had an impact on me. Things I'd write in my diary –

If I could, you know, see.

Gah. This is every writer's worst nightmare, wannabe or otherwise.

Recovery Day 3:

"Wrex! Put me down, you overgrown lobster!" I yelled, kicking and squirming.

"Not a chance," He rumbled. "You need to learn not to steal from those bigger than you are."

"It was just one blanket!"

And I'm awfully proud of myself for getting that blanket, too, since I couldn't see.

You'd be proud, too.

But Wrexy-Baby is a bitch, and wouldn't put me down.

So, for about an hour, I was forced to hang on his shoulder like a sack of potatoes (it was humiliating, and Wrex knew it, the bastard), until Seth took pity on me and called in Shepard to save me.

What do you know – he was here when I needed him!

It only took him two tries.

Recovery Day 4:

"So, wait," I mentally blinked. "You almost robbed a store?"

Chakwas laughed. "Yes, I was young – and drunk. Very drunk. Good times, good times...fortunately, I didn't rob anything."

"What happened?" I asked, feeling like this was akin to watching a train wreck, just without seeing. I couldn't stop listening, and I wanted to know more.

"I couldn't figure out how to leave my vehicle," She said, very matter of fact. How...anti-climatic.

I mentally blinked again, and then I shook my head in disbelief, hugging a hospital pillow to myself.

Just when you thought you knew a person...

Recovery Day 5:

"Ow...ow...ow..."

I stirred from my Tia Nap, and, for a moment, I wondered where the hell I was, before remembering that I was talking to Kaiden in his little area, and eventually fell asleep. It was late after all. I smiled a little as I realized that I had a blanket covering me.

Kaiden can be a sweetheart sometimes, can't he? I've never noticed, since I've never romanced him in ME (you know why), and most of the things I know about him is from other people in forums and stuff – I mostly ignored him, and he was the one that I picked to die on Virmire, since I wasn't emotionally attached to him. Cold of me, isn't it? That I'd condemn a man (even a pixelated one) to death because he reminded me of someone else.

I'm actually disgusted with myself.

It's the reason why I've decided to spend my day with him today, so that I could get to know him.

To fix my mistake.

"What?" I murmured, yawning a little.

"Migraine," Kaiden mumbled, sounding pained. He let out a shaky breath. "Sorry. Didn't mean to wake you..."

Oh, yeah. He went out with Shepard and Garrus yesterday, didn't he? They had gone off to find Garoth's brother, Willem (who turned out to be dead), and they had to take out the privateers as well as two krogan battlemasters (eek, right?); Kaiden had used a lot of his biotics then, pushing himself to his limits. I had thought that his migraine had gone by now, since he had seemed fine a while ago when we were talking, but I guess not.

I frowned. "Don't worry about it," On an impulse, I gestured for him to lay his head down on my blanket covered lap. I was on the floor. "Come here, I'll massage your temples; sure fire way to reduce the pain and make it go away."

I don't need to see to do that.

Kaiden made a startled noise, quickly followed by a pained one – smooth, Alenko, smooth. "No, no. Thank you, but I'll just go to Chakwas – "

"Kaiden," I said, unknowingly using Shepard's Commander Mode voice, looking stern. "Do as I say, or I will scream – in a loud, high pitched way, just to spite you."

He laid his head down.

Good puppy!

Recovery Day 6:

The treadmill tried to kill me today. I slipped, and flew off of it, tumbling to the ground with a shriek.

Ashley is still snickering about it.

Bitch.

"Oh, har de fucking ha!" I mumbled, scowling. "It wasn't that funny!"

"You're right! I'm sure that your intimate encounter with a wall was much more hilarious!" Joker said over the intercom, like a ninja in the night.

I swear that he's stalking me with the intercom now, just waiting for the right moment to strike! I wasn't kidding before!

I think he's still pissed off about the whole 'dickless' thing.

"GRAH!" I yelled, tugging at my hair in frustration. These wall jokes are getting old!

Damn Shepard to HELL for letting Joker in on my slip up!

"Score!" Joker cheered, laughing his ass off, Ashley quickly following him.

I hate them both so hard right now, that not even molten lava could compare.

Recovery Day 7:

"Why are you red?" I asked Wrex, and yes, I'm still hanging out with him – minus the hanging part.

God, I hated that...

"That's an odd question to ask," Wrex noted, cleaning his gun, the one that I liked to call "Boom-Boom", just to irritate him.

I didn't even know what the fuck it looked like.

"I'm an odd person," I said, dismissively. Seriously, I thought everyone knew this by now. "But really, why are you red? Not many krogans are red. Is it a rare gene, like the albino gene, or whatever, in humans?"

"How should I know?" Wrex questioned, sounding almost exasperated, but still spoke in that calm, steady tone of his. It had an almost soothing rumble to it. I really liked to listen to his voice – it's just as good as Tali's Storyteller Voice. "Krogans aren't known for having scientists."

I whined, "But I wanna know! It's driving me up the wall! It's such a pretty red color, too..."

I couldn't see, and I knew that it would've been way out of character for him, but I knew that he was rolling his eyes at me just then, or something similar to it.

Yay! Point to me!

Recovery Day 8:

"Hey, Miss Sheppy?" I was sitting on her bed, swinging my feet above the ground.

"Yes?" She was at her desk, writing a mission report. Ick. I hate paper work.

"You said that the beacon on Eden Prime gave you a vivid, if confusing, vision, right?" I asked, as if to clarify.

There was a pause.

"Yes?" She asked warily, and I heard her turning around in her chair to look at me. "What about it?"

I hesitated, because I knew that this was a somewhat personal question to ask, and we haven't known each other for long.

Oh, fuck it – I'll deal with it when it slaps me in the face.

"Does it still bother you?" I finally blurted out. "Like, I dunno...vivid nightmares or something? From your description, it sounds intense, and horrifying, and like...like it burned itself into your mind. Are you okay?" I asked, genuinely and honestly concerned.

I wish I could see, more than ever now, because there was a very lengthy pause this time. I wondered what her expression was, if it was pained, bemused, angry, upset, or even just flat out blank. I wondered what she was thinking in this pause, and if I just should've kept my big mouth shut. No, I knew I should've kept quiet – that was a very insensitive question to ask her, despite my concern.

"Jane?" I called softly, and I hated how my voice cracked. I bit my lip. "I'm sorry, I won't ask again..."

She sighed, and it was a tried sigh. I heard her get up from her chair and walk over to me. She sat down next to me, and slowly, so as not to startle me, moved my head towards her direction, despite the fact that I couldn't see anyway, a considerate move that I always appreciated.

"Don't be sorry," She told me, in an almost regretful tone. "I was just taken aback. You're the first person to ask me that, aside from Chakwas. It's very kind of you,"

K-kind? I'm not kind! I'm a rabid, maniacal bitch!

Really, I am!

"Oh," I mumbled, and, strangely, I felt flustered, contradicting my mental protests.

"And to answer your question...yes," Shepard said quietly. "Yes, it does still bother me."

I fumbled for her hand, wanting to comfort her her, because, okay, you got me, I'm actually a very empathic and...sweet ( – gah! – ) person, and I hate it when other people suffer in my presence. I always try so damn hard to stamp that out, though, because it has no place in the real world, but I don't think that part of me is ever going to disappear, no matter how much I dearly wish it would – it only ends up biting me in the ass later on.

But, regardless, I held Shepard's hand in a supportive grip, because I care – because I have a heart, and I'm not always a bitch or a brainless spazz.

Not always, anyway.

I asked, in a gentle tone, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really," She said in an oddly (or not so oddly?) anxious tone, and I nodded, letting go of her hand.

Instead, I hugged her, and I didn't say anything else, because nothing really needed to be said.

Sometimes, you don't want words to soothe your pains and fears. Sometimes, you just want to be held, and not feel like your dealing with your problems alone.

Sometimes, you just have to reach out and touch the untouchable, I added in my head, faintly amused. Because yeah, Shepard is untouchable – no one can ever reach her level of strength and courage, and I think only Mordin can surpass her in intellect, and that's only because his a salarian. Shepard is so impressive, so awe-inspiring with her ability to do the impossible, that people actually bring her back to life when she dies, because we need her if we're going to even have a fighting chance with the Reapers.

However, I have no qualms about reaching out to something that's 'untouchable', because nothing is out of my reach, even if I am short.

And since when have I roped myself in with these guys? "We", indeed...

I am starting to get attached to this place? To these people?

Oh, boy...

Recovery Day 9:

While I was talking to Tali, I somehow fell over. I don't know how I did it, because I was just innocently standing there and doing absolutely nothing, for once, and then I fell over.

I hate it when I do that.

"Keelah!" I exclaimed, pissed off. "Fucking gravity...air is conspiring against me again...fuckers," I mumbled, getting up.

"You speak Quarian?" Tali questioned, sounding surprised.

"Nooo..." Argh. This is why I never cursed in Quarian around her. "I only know 'Keelah' and 'bosh'tet'."

"Oh," She sounded oddly disappointed. Damn.

I'm going to regret this, but...

"Uh, can you teach me?" I asked, sheepishly tugging at my uniform sleeve.

I didn't even need to hear her voice this time to know that she smiled; I could feel the glow of it through her helmet and my blindfold.

It made me feel...pretty awesome.

Recovery Day 10:

"Hey, Kaiden?" I called, sitting in my usual spot on the floor.

"Hm?"

"Can you do me a favor?" I asked, fidgeting.

"What is it?"

"Could you look up an old Earth song for me? It's really old, and I'm not even sure if you'll be able to find it, but could you try anyway? It's an old favorite..."

I heard a smile, "Sure. What's it called?"

"You're Gonna Go Far, Kid by the Offspring," I told him, smiling.

"Never heard of it," Kaiden admitted. "But you did say that it was old..."

After a few moments of silence between us, with only the sound of Kaiden typing and pressing buttons, my song actually started to play. It wasn't the best quality in the world, but one could hear it just fine; the song was full of energy and noise, and it never failed to make me bob my head or tap my feet on the ground.

I've been thinking about this song a lot, since it reminds me a lot of my situation here.

"With a thousand lies,

And a good disguise;

Hit 'em right between the eyes,

Hit 'em right between the eyes.

When you walk away,

Nothing more to say,

See the lightning in your eyes,

See 'em running – for their lives!"

"Slowly out of line,

And drifting closer in your sights.

So play it out I'm wide awake;

It's a scene about me,

There's something in your way,

And now someone is gonna pay!

And if you can't get what you want,

Well it's all because of me."

"Now dance, fucker, dance,

Man, I never had a chance.

And no one even knew,

It was really only you..."

And no one even knew, that it's only me, not even the real Tiana R. Late...

"Thanks, Kaiden," I smiled softly, sadly, as I lied once again to cover my ass. "It brought back some good memories..."

With a thousand lies, and a good disguise... I softly sung in my head, like a lullaby, smiling slightly.

Yes, this is my song.

Recovery Day 11:

"Phoenix?"

"What?" Ashley asked absently, looking at some pictures that one of her sisters sent her. She told me that, when I get my eyesight back, she'll show me the photos.

I look forward to that.

"Why don't you like aliens?"

She paused, and then sighed. "It's not that I don't like them, it's that I trust them."

"You seem to be getting along with Garrus lately," I pointed out.

"Just because I get along with someone, doesn't necessarily mean I trust them, kiddo."

"Sadly, I know what you mean," I admitted, but continued before she could question me on the matter. "But it just seems weird to me."

"Weird?" She repeated, sounding bemused. She's probably never heard someone say that it was 'weird' to distrust aliens, at least, not in that context.

"Well, my family accepted aliens, and saw them as our equals," Which is the truth, but I'm twisting it a bit to fit in with the place. We're a very sci-fi centric family. "I was raised to see aliens as, well, human beings that look a little weird. They can feel, they can think, they can be heroes, they can be corrupt, they can have faith, they can lose hope, they can bleed and cry and laugh – they're mortal, just as we are. They have dreams, families, likes, dislikes, interests, personalities... To me, they aren't all that different from us, and we aren't all that different from them."

I shrugged. "It's just...weird to meet someone that doesn't think like I do. It's okay, I guess, because I can understand. Don't agree with it, but I can certainly understand your wariness, and I can respect your views," I smiled brightly, laughing a little. "Doesn't change the fact that it's weird, though!" I teased.

"Haha. There's this old saying, 'the pot calling the kettle black', and it fits you perfectly," Ashley said sarcastically, but then she fell into a thoughtful silence, pleasing me to no end, because I wanted her to think, and to use some logic and common sense; to see things for how they are, not for what she sees them to be.

Now, I just need to wait for Shepard to do a Paragon action, and totally convince Ashley to into being less wary of foreign races, and I'll be happy.

I really do like our little Pink Phoenix, really, I do, but her distrust of alien races never fails to irk me.

Recovery Day 12:

"Hey, Garrus?"

I was going to prank Garrus without my eyesight; watch and learn.

"Hm?"

"Have you checked on the Mako today, yet?"

Pause.

"Nooo...?" He drawled, sounding almost nervous. Aside from his rifle, the Mako was one of the things he loved the most – seriously; boys and their toys. "Why?"

"Oh, nothing," I said airily, taking a sip from my coffee. We were in the mess having breakfast – and we were both very careful about what we were eating, not wanting to accidentally eat something that could burn a hole in our stomachs or something.

"Nothing?" He repeated, and scoffed. "Do you really think that I'll fall for that again?"

I sighed. "It was worth a shot," I said mournfully.

I allowed him a full five minutes to bask in his victory, and then I attacked for real.

"Did you know that 'gullible' is written on the ceiling above you?" I asked, sounding bored. I even yawned sleepily, acting causal.

"Huh?" There was a pause, and I assumed that Garrus looked up. So I took a chance at looking stupid, and spoke up.

"Haha! Made you look!" I mocked him. "You really are gullible, aren't you? I can't even see, you idiot!"

"Damn it!"

I. Am. Awesome!

Recovery Day 13:

"Whoa – I lost almost twenty pounds?" I breathed, stunned.

Shit. I was sixty pounds over weight before this (that's overweight for my height - I checked!), so now I'm just forty?

Whoa, indeed.

"Yep! Keep this up and you'll be in shape in no time!" Ashley boasted, and ruffled my hair. "Proud of you, kid!"

I beamed.

This means that I get to wear awesome Gothic Lolita clothes! Hell yeah!

What? I'm girl! Of course the first thing I'm going to think about is shopping!

I like shopping. It's like, like, the woman's version of hunting. We even have our own ceremonial war paint and everything – or, at least, that's how I think of it, anyway.

I feel more badass that way.

Blood red lipstick to represent the blood of my enemy, green eyeshadow for luck on my hunt, blue nail polish for the tears of my victims as they plead for mercy, a simple, but stylish and sophisticated looking black sundress, my mother's wooden beads ( – the beads of my ancestors – ) simple jeans, and my boots – an outfit to make me look deceitfully cute and innocent and perfectly harmless (my camouflage) – and two, messily made, Chinese styled buns as my hair style of choice; ready to go ninja on someone's ass.

So, if I'm ever wearing makeup or dressed in nice clothes, you better watch out.

I'm hunting, and if some blonde bimbo is trying to take the last discounted coffee maker, blood is going to fly.

Especially over coffee.

You don't fuck with my coffee.

Hey! I wonder if I have my beads in my bags somewhere? I remember wearing them the week before the Blink Incident, and then I stuffed them in...I think the top pocket of my red messenger bag? They could still be in there! Oh, I hope so...that's the only piece I have of Mom now, my last connection to her, since I don't have my long hair anymore.

That will be the first thing I check on when I can see again.

One more day after this...

Recovery Day 14:

"So, we're going to Noveria, tomorrow?" I questioned Joker, idly leaning against the back of his chair.

"Uh huh..." Joker said distractedly, no doubt reading something that was absolutely fascinating on his screen.

Hm...

"That's the cold place right?"

"Uh huh..."

"With the snow?"

"Uh huh..."

"And the ice?"

"Uh huh..."

"And the naked women?"

"Where?" Joker suddenly sounded awake. He probably perked right up in his seat, too, all alert and everything.

I think I heard Kaiden snort from his seat. It was kind of muffled.

I myself just laughed, helplessly holding onto his chair so that I wouldn't fall over. "Joker! That's bad!"

Oh God...that's...that's so hysterical! He's as bad as my uncles!

Then again, I don't think those guys have 'tapped' anything in, what? Twenty years? Maybe more?

So they have an excuse, I guess. They're lonely.

Joker, on the other hand, while being handy capped, was a perfectly handsome man with a good sense of humor, and I'm sure that women everywhere all but throw themselves to his delicate feet – so what's his excuse, hm? There are ways around his condition in order to have sex, you know.

...and am I seriously thinking about Jeff Moreau's sex life?

I am messed up.

"Stop squirming!" Chakwas scolded me, and I stilled, making impatient, whining noises.

"Hurry!" I whined. She was taking off the bandages that covered my eyes. Today is the day that I can finally see, even if I do have to wear sunglasses, or shaded goggles, for a few days.

Seeing in shadows was better than total darkness, after all.

"Alright, alright..." The last bandage was removed, but I kept my eyes shut.

A small pause, and then Chakwas gently slipped on a pair of sunglasses onto my face. "Here you go. You can open your eyes now,"

With a shaky breath, I slowly opened my eyes for the first time in two weeks, and saw the smiling faces (or grumpy, in Wrex's case, and blank for Tali's – I can't see her face because of the mask covering it) of my friends, the very first things I saw with my new sight – even Joker was there (shocking, isn't it?). And yeah, I totally saw these guys as my friends now, and I even trust them a bit – and that's a lot more trust than most people get from me.

Shepard smiled, looking bright and warm even with my new shades.

"Congratulations, serviceman." She said to me, and I beamed back at her.

I can SEE! Hell yeah!

Universe at large! You better prepare yourself! The Tia Monster can see now!

Muhahaha!