A/N: Yay! My first St. Berry story! I was going to write Deception At Its Best first, but for some reason I just couldn't start it the way I wanted it to be. So while I work on that, I'm writing this one. This one is very angsty and dark (hence the rating), so you have been forewarned. Hope you enjooooyyyy :)

Disclaimer: Glee is owned by FOX.

Summary: When Jesse St. James, the golden boy of McKinley High, and his goons take things too far, they realize their actions have more affect than they realize. In a whirlwind of emotions and heartbreak, Jesse begins to discover what it feels like to walk in the shoes of Rachel Berry. Rated M for themes of abuse, violence, attempted rape, suicide, and more.

Category:Glee

Genre/s: Romance/Hurt/Comfort

Story Type: AU/AT

Character Type: Jesse/Major OOC, Rachel/Major OOC

Rating: M

Pairing: St. Berry

Inspiration Behind Chapter: Who Am I To Say by Hope

Geeks and M-Gleeks

"The walls we build around us to keep

sadness out also keeps out the joy."

-Jim Rohn

After only one day of being in high school, I had already been labeled as a geek. They took one look at my clothes, hair, and face before casting me aside and ignoring me unless they decided they wanted some entertainment. By the time I hit sophomore year, I was the laughingstock of McKinley High. I was slushied every day, had my clothes stolen from my gym locker while I was in the shower, was called a number of crude and degrading names, and was even honored by having someone draw pornographic pictures of me on the wall.

I managed to keep my humiliation and torture from my fathers for my first three years of high school. When they grew suspicious of why I never invited friends over, I would merely brush it off with a casual, "I don't have time for friends if I want to be a star,"—which was true in a sense. Even if I wasn't suffering through all of this, I still wouldn't have many friends, if any at all. My dream was Broadway, and my free time was spent doing vocal exercises, taking dance classes, and picking up several instruments. By the time I was fifteen, my voice was near-perfect, I could both perform and create choreography routines so difficult and fast-paced it would make your head spin, and I could play five different instruments. I took classes during the summer to further cultivate my talent, completely forgoing camp and abandoning any hope of making acquaintances there.

On my first day of junior year, I walked through the doors of McKinley High with my head held high and shoulders pushed back in confidence. I had spent the summer in New York training with some of the best, and I had some self-assurance pumped back into my veins. Instead of hugging the walls like I normally would when walking through the walls, I strode straight through the middle. On the outside, my face was a mask of nonchalance, but on the inside I was smiling, basking in my good fortune that I was already halfway to my locker. It only took forty-six seconds of being a junior to receive my first slushie of the day.

I gasped as the cold drink hit my face, the red dye quickly seeping into my pink shirt and somehow managing to make it towards my white skirt. I blinked slowly a few times before opening my eyes only to see a smirking Jesse St. James, flanked by his three goons.

"Wow Berry, red is a good color on you," he sneered, the three Neanderthals behind him snickering.

"What do you want St. James?" I asked quietly, my posture already somehow timid and my previous confidence completely gone.

"Just wanted to see if training with Kristen Chenoweth over the summer actually salvaged some of that horrid voice yours," he replied, a smirk plastered on his face. I didn't answer, my feet trying to stealthily carry me away from the scene he was making, many onlookers already pointing and laughing at the sticky mess I was in. After only two steps, his hand shot out like lightening, his fingers gripping my wrist tightly.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked dangerously, his voice low and menacing. I gasped in pain, trying to pull my arm free from his grasp.

"Let go," I whispered.

"Why don't you make me?"

I quickly realized how bad the situation was, because no matter how traumatizing past events were or how many pranks they pulled on me, the circumstances never included violence. That status seemed to have changed drastically, especially since I was losing more and more feeling in my hand as the seconds passed.

"Please let go," I pleaded weakly. They all just laughed as he roughly pushed my hand out of his grasp, his motion jostling me and making me fall backwards. All I could see around me were students laughing at me, kids videotaping everything with their phones, teachers walking by and pretending not to see or hear a thing—after all; Jesse St. James was the leader of the school, the golden boy. He was off limits.

I rubbed my wrist, fighting back tears as the pain shot up my arm. The hallway started to clear, class starting in less than five minutes. My morning had gone from cool and confident to teary-eyed and slushied in a matter of minutes. Jesse and the rest of his gang were still laughing as they began walking away with everyone else, leaving me covered in ice and on the floor, before turning around.

"Oh, and Berry," he called. I could see the malicious glare he was throwing at me, the gaze chilling me to the bone and sending fear coursing through my body. "Don't even think of trying out for glee club. Not only would I not want to jeopardize our consecutive three-year national title, but I think you've embarrassed yourself enough. There's no need to torture yourself and everyone else with that voice of yours." Without a single glance backwards, he walked away just as the bell rang. I sat in a heap on the floor, his last words playing like a broken record in my mind.

Of course I had been planning on trying out for New Directions this year. Jesse had been the lead since his and my freshman year, bringing home the National's trophy to McKinley High three years running. He was a hero to everyone, a saint—pun very much intended. The glee club was McKinley's pride and joy, so no one was willing to believe its very core that gave it life was one of the worst people to have ever walked this earth.

The second bell rang signaling I was late for first period on my first day. I got up slowly off the floor, rubbing the tears out of my eyes before looking down at my numb wrist. In disdain I saw bruises already formed on my wrist, their shape looking a lot like fingers. I covered my wrist subconsciously before hurrying to the bathroom, Physics completely forgotten. I changed out of my trashed clothes and washed my face, grumbling in annoyance at the cherry smell that wouldn't fade from my hair. I pulled at the sleeve of my shirt, the material covering the assault marks. I took one final look in the mirror, grimacing at what I saw, before walking back into the halls.

"I can do this," I whispered confidently to myself. "I only have two years left here. I'm going somewhere with my life, they aren't." It was sad that I couldn't even believe those words myself.

A/N: Well, that's the first chapter…I think for this story I'm going to keep the chapters relatively short, averaging on about 1,200-1,900 words per chapter which isn't a lot. I'm going to be keeping Rachel and Jesse extremely OOC throughout the entire story, although you will see a bit of their OCs in their characters later on. Soooo, tell me what you think of the plot so far or guess where I'm taking this story. Or you can talk to me about your insane obsession with JGroff and St. Berry that you KNOW you have, so don't bother denying it (I choose to embrace mine :3). How about this: leave me a review and I'll give you a COOKIE. YUMMM!

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