Here is a little musing I had when I should have been preparing for my exams. Sequel chapter to Something in Your Eyes, R&R.

Sapphirebee x

:fashbacks:

Stirrings

By Steph

Six months, it had been six months since Sam's passing. Six, long months without the one thing that made the world seem right. During that time, Bumblebee's spark had grown cold, things didn't seem the same, and the small things in life that had once made him happy now barely even prompted a response. Most of his life, even amongst his own people Bumblebee had stood alone never quite feeling the same sense of family his fellow Cybertroians did when they were together. Upon meeting Sam everything had changed, that one small perhaps seemingly insignificant event, had forever changed Bumblebee. With Sam, life seemed brighter, happier; there was sense of unity and family between them, the other autobots had noticed the change in the young scout almost immediately, Bumblebee was happier.

Then in that single instance, it was taken, taken cruelly away. The bond between guardian and charge was always said to be strong, it ran spark deep, with the transformer race they would usually last a lifetime. A single pledge to protect another's life, and this kind of oath left marks. The failure of a guardian to protect his charge was perhaps one of the worst pains a Cybertroian could feel aside from losing a sparkmate, and Bumblebee was now experiencing this hurt.

"Are you sure it is wise, to form this kind of a pact with a human? It has certainly never been done before." Ratchet sounded, wary.

Bumblebee gazed up at the medic, his bright blue optics full of certainty. "I am sure, Sam needs protecting, and I believe this is the best way of accomplishing that."

Ratchet stood silently, contemplating what was going to eventually transpire. "You do realize that Sam will only live for a fraction of your own natural lifespan? He will die as all humans do when their time comes; they are such a short-lived race."

Bumblebee turned quickly, facing Ratchet, the forefront of the mech's optics glaring into the larger bots.

"I know that Ratchet! I have done nothing but go over the countless possibilities of how Sam could be harmed, or how shortly he will live. You, Optimus, Ironhide, you all had your chance to experience a guardian bond; Ironhide still has that with me. I want that chance myself I never will under normal circumstances, there are no more sparklings. As Sam's guardian it is my job to make sure he is safe, what better way than a bond that will link us together?"

"I do not doubt your intentions Bumblebee." Ratchet replied, his voice both soft and calming. "I only fear what the loss of Sam will do to you, you are still young, these types of bonds are not taken lightly, and it will change you, perhaps for the remainder of your existence."

Bumblebee nodded once, looking at Ratchet directly. "I know of the risks, but I am wanting to this Ratchet."

The medic paused, inside admiring at how much the young scout had matured since arriving to earth. "Very well."

That was how it had all started.

Bumblebee after explaining the implications of the bond to the young human and with his permission had gone and sealed a promise he made to Sam when he had first asked to stay with him in Mission city.

"What do I have to do Bee?" Sam asked nervously, he was afraid at what was going to happen, but one thing Sam was absolutely certain of, he trusted Bumblebee with his life.

The yellow mech gazed down at his young charge, they were currently at the overlook, a peaceful, familiar place that Bumblebee thought would help Sam with this new transition. "Just close your eyes and stay very still, I'm going to require to touch you physically in order to initiate the bond itself. You will feel a bit of shock but this is completely normal."

Sam nodded, he looked at the floor, quietly contemplating at what was about to happen. "Bee?" Sam asked quietly.

"What is it Sam?" Come the soft, gentle reply.

"What will this 'bond' to do us? I mean will it change anything between us?" Sam looked up into his guardian's optics. Bumblebee immediately recognized the worried expression on the teenager's face, carefully, Bumblebee scooped up Sam's body, and gently deposited him upon his lap he stroked one metal digit down the contours of Sam's back.

"Nothing is going to change Sam, you are my charge, and one of my closest friends, with this bond it will allow me to find you, wherever you may be, or how ever far away you go. I will be able to sense if you are in any kind of danger and I will know if you ever need my help."

"So," Sam began slowly "this bond will allow you to protect me better?" Sam gazed up at Bumblebee's face, finding himself starting into the bright optics of his closest friend.

Bumblebee held Sam's gaze, his own optics softening. "Yes, but it also means more than that Sam. This bond is very precious to Cybertroians; we do not initiate it lightly. Translation problems seem to occur a lot when we try to translate our language into English." Bumblebee said with a soft sigh, "Sam do you know what being a guardian means?"

Sam taken aback by the question had to think for several seconds, "It means a protector right? Like you protect me from getting squashed by crazy decepticons?"

Bumblebee hummed in his chest, sounding like chattering static, it seemed to Bumblebee's equivalent of a laugh.

"Our language is difficult to translate at the best of times, I think this is one of these occasions where a mis-translation has happened, a guardian means to protect yes, but it means far more than that, it means friend, confidant, comrade, and most importantly family."

Only when Bumblebee had uttered those words did Sam realize the depth of Bumblebee's feelings for him, he was more than an assignment, and at the same time, Sam could not help but feel humbled.

"Why me, Bee, why would you choose to take on that kind of commitment? I'm not one of you, I'm just a human."

Bumblebee shook his head, "you were never 'just a human' to me Sam, your my charge and my closest friend, and that is why I chose to become your guardian after mission city. Your species is at best illogical and seems to put much emphasis on making mistakes."

Sam began to open his mouth to protest.

"But you grow as a result of them; you yourself have grown Sam, in so many ways. You were drawn into a war that you should not have been a part of, but you fought alongside us, with me anyway, for that I am eternally grateful to you. For that reason I wish to re-pay a debt, you saved my people, and gave them second chance. Please Sam, I wish to share this with you."

"I… don't know what to say, Bee."

The yellow scout gazed tenderly down at the smaller being, optics glowing softly as he placed a gentle fingertip under the human's face. "Just say yes."

Gazing into Bumblebee's bright optics, Sam could sense the weight of this decision on Bumblebee, this meant a lot to him.

And then, that single word left the young human's lips, spoken so quietly that even Bumblebee nearly missed it. "Yes."

And it was then, that the first guardian bond between a human and a cybertroian was formed.

The moment Sam had died was when the bond had broken, It was the moment Bumblebee's world had fallen apart, humans were already such a short lived species, that Sam had barely lived less than a quarter of those years only added to endless grief that now tore itself through Bumblebee's spark.

"Bee" a gruff but soft voice said in the darkness. "It's been more than two months since Sam's passed away, he wouldn't want you grieving like this."

Dimly lit blue optics stared upwards, from the metal berth Bumblebee was laid upon he recognized the dim outline of Ironhide. The yellow mech stared at his own Guardian for a moment before looking away.

"Bee, come on, talk to me." The soft plea came out in the words as Ironhide moved slowly forward, placing a hand upon Bumblebee's metal shoulder.

"What do you want me to say?" Bumblebee's vocalizer crackled from lack of use. "That I'm going to be okay, that I will simply get over Sam's… death and move on like nothing ever happened?"

Ironhide's optics widened, he squeezed Bumblebee's shoulder, shaking his ebony metal head. "No, no-one would ask that of you, but I knew Sam well enough, to know he would not want you to suffer like this, he would want you to live for him."

Bumblebee's yellow frame began to flinched as, Ironhide bent down, placing his other hand on the yellow mech's chest, attempting to calm down his own charge. "Bee, Bee, Bee." He crooned, "it's going to be okay."

Bumblebee sat up, leaving the berth as he stood, Ironhide moved back in surprise. "No, it's not, Sam died, I should have spotted something was wrong, I was supposed to be his Guardian, his protector, his friend and I let him die."

Bee was shaking now, Ironhide quickly moved forward and in a rare display of affection pulled the younger mech close to his chest. "Bee, no, you did everything you could, not even Ratchet knew anything was wrong when you brought Sam to the base that day. It's not your fault, these things happen."

Bumblebee moved in Ironhide's arms, looking up at Ironhide's ebony face. "I miss him, not a day goes by that I don't. It hurts."

Ironhide gave the younger mech a squeeze "The sense of loss will never leave you." He said quietly.

Bumblebee shook once more. "Does it get easier?"

As Bee spoke, Ironhide placed a hand over his Bumblebee's spark chamber. "Yes, with time but remember, he will always be with you, in here." Ironhide patted Bee's chest plate, gesturing to the spark that pulsed beneath. "These type of bonds don't disappear Bee, not even if your charge is no longer with you, Sam is still with you, and always will be, and who knows, you may see him again someday."

Ironhide removed his hand and moved back, placing both hands on each of Bumblebee's shoulders. Bumblebee's optics brightened as he placed his own hand over his spark chamber. He then looked back at Ironhide. "Thank you."

Ironhide nodded, standing to leave. Bumblebee stared after him, and as he did he felt a small stirring in his spark. Bumblebee mentally smiled. "Sam," he murmured gently.

From then, Bumblebee saw that Ironhide was right, time was the biggest healer, and with each day that past, he found himself able to breathe that bit easier. But there were still those days when he was felt particular alone or sad, and it was then Bumblebee would feel those small stirrings inside his spark, a gentle reminder that wherever he was, Sam was still with him.