ALERT. ALERT.
This fic contains stuff that some people'll find squicky, some potential OOC-ness, eventual male-x-male relationships and an OC all for the sake of humour. Please read at your own risk - I'm not held accountable for any deaths at the hands of this fic!

Chapter I: Please Leave your Sanity at the Entrance

Jet Ioaha, the world of white sands, black skies and purple seas, and also the place in which Sora was temporarily staying. He had come to the 'town on the eternal beaches' a couple of days ago for a holiday, because all the fighting was tiring him out, because let's face it, what was he, 8?

"I'm 15, actually," Sora reminded the author, who apologises dutifully.

Meanwhile, upon one of the cliffs surronding the area, the Superior of Organisation XIII sat with a telescope at his eye, staring down at the Keyblade Master.

"Master Xemnas!" exclaimed the Superior's second-in-command, Saix, as he ran over to his master... eh, make that ran into his master, knocking him over.

"Saix, what have I told you about watching where you're going?" Xemnas shouted, causing Saix to jump back and... die a little inside.

"S-sorry, sir... but I finished recon here!"

"And?" Xemnas asked, rubbing his pretty head with his pretty hand whilst being pretty.

"Well, this girl called Manaka runs the place, and she was the one who got all the people together to build it, and-"

"I didn't mean I cared, Saix... Sense the tone, it's called being sarcastic..."

Successfully sensing the disinterested tone in Xemnas' voice, Saix decided to take his leave.

'Ugh, why the hell do I love him so much?' Saix mentally asked himself as he left his Superior to his pirate-style spying.

Xemnas focused on Sora harder than he had ever focused on anything before, until it was like the only thing in the world was the vision through that telescope, and-

"Hey, welcome to Jet Ioaha!" announced an overly cheery voice behind Xemnas, causing him to scream and fall flat on his pretty face. Again.

"Oh, sorry! Didn't mean to startle you," the voice apologised happily.

"Seriously, what in the name of Kingdom Hearts was..." Xemnas trailed off, looking at the little girl before him. She had long, black hair with a fringe, a see-through orange top with a black vest under it, a matching shorts and sarong combo with orange sandals. She looked to be about 10-

"Hey, I'm 16!" Sorry! She was 16 with a 10 year old's face.

"I do not look 10!" FINE. 13's the highest I'm going though. Anyway!

"Well, I wasn't going to shout at you because I thought you were 10, but after your discussion with the author, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SNEAKING UP ON ME LIKE THAT FOR?" Xemnas began his pre-scheduled screaming fit.

"That's what I do, I'm the chick who sneaks up on people," she replied calmly. "I'm also the owner of this town, so it's my job to welcome folks," she smiled.

"Oh, right. Manaka, is it?"

"Yayz, I'm popular! Lolz!1!11one!" Manaka suddenly beamed, jumping up and down, clapping.

Xemnas was slightly entranced by this strange behaviour, a look like he'd just been hypnotized on that pretty face of his.

"Um, ahem! Sorry, it's just, uh..." he began.

"Don't worry, I tend to have that effect on people, hee hee hee roflcoptr. Anywho, I gotta run. See ya! Oh, and if ya have any enquiries, just come see me. My office is the little building with 'l33t' on it. Bye!" Manaka called, skipping away and leaving Xemnas to wonder what exactly a roflcoptr was.

Elsewhere in Jet Ioaha, an argument was taking place.

"But DiZ, I don't get it! How could you be pregnant?"

"I don't know, Riku, I just don't know." The pair were walking along the beach, discussing the newfound paternity... Maternity? Paternity?

"Paternity," DiZ responded flatly to the author, who once again apologises.

"Anyway, do you know who the... uh... mother? Father? Is?" Riku asked.

"That is what we're here to find out. Or at least it's what I'm here to find out. You did just follow me, after all..." DiZ muttered.

"What?"

"What?"

Meanwhile, in Manaka's office...

"So what'd you find out, Manaka?" asked Sora.

"Well, there's at least one of 'em here. He had a relescope, too. I think he was spyin' on you!" Manaka responded, leaning back in her office chair and putting her feet on the table.

"Aw, man..."

"So, I alienated him by l33t-speaking!" Manaka said proudly, placing her hands on her hips and grinning.

"Nicely done!"

"I know, tee hee," Manaka giggled upon receiving a high-five from Sora.

"So, what are we gonna do about all this?" Manaka asked.

"Well, nothing yet. We'll wait til' they make a move first!"

"...Too scared to approach him?"

"Terrified," Sora replied in less than a heartbeat.

"Ah, well," Manaka smiled, cuddling her friend. "It'll be okay. I'm sure of it."

Meanwhile, elsewhere, Donald Duck shuddered.

"Why do I get the feeling that someone's hugging my boyfriend...?"

A/N: So, there's chapter 1! Yes, I know, there's some squicky stuff. And yes, I know, some people may be a little OOC. And yes, I know... there's the dreaded OC. *narrowly avoids several hundred bullets from angry readers* But all the squick, OOC, OC-ness and eventual male-x-male are all for the sake of humour. Bear with me, pweaze? *puppy eyes*
So, thank you for reading! Chapter II'll be up soon, and feel free to review! x