A/N & Warning: This chapter is unbeta-ed. It's been a long, long time since I last wrote, and I might've gotten rusty over the years. If someone would like to beta this, then I'd be more than happy to accept, since this is my first Kaze Hikaru fic. :)
EDIT (12/9/2011): Fixed some tense mistakes. Thank you Kitten Kisses for the corrections! Really appreciate it. :)
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Full Title: Kaeru ~To Come Home~
Disclaimer: I do not own Kaze Hikaru.
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"It's been a long time, hasn't it?"
I smiled at the source of the voice, looking to see that he still hasn't changed much - the boyish charm of his smile, the warmth in his eyes, the carefree aura that he exuded back then. Still free-spirited like the wind, a boy in a bushi's body.
"You still haven't changed." Spoken with an even tone, but given more emotion with the smile on my lips.
"I know."
"How are Kondo-sensei and Hijikata-san?"
He chuckled before sitting on the porch outside my bedroom, looking at the me who was buried and bundled underneath a thick blanket and my winter kimono. "They're doing fine. Kondo-san, most especially. He told me last time that he never felt so much at peace before in his life." Tilting his head upward, he gazed at the heavy gray sky, and closed his eyes as a chilly breeze blew, yet he didn't shiver. "Hijikata-san, well, he's having problems dealing with Ito-san's advances."
Now it's my turn to chuckle. I remembered how the oni vice-captain desperately avoided the beautiful councilor during the heydays of the Shinsengumi. Images of Hijikata-san hiding and running to avoid Ito-san flashed like a silent play in my mind, and I could not resist a laugh. "I pity vice-captain. He's going to have a hard time avoiding Ito-san right now."
"Actually, Ito-san told me that he's looking forward to your arrival."
The laughing stopped. I looked at him incredulously. "You're kidding."
He shook his head, his eyes twinkling in silent mirth. "I'm not."
"But he knows the truth by now, right? I think everybody knows by now."
"He does." A thoughtful expression crossed his face, his eyes staring at the sky, with his index finger on his cheek as if remembering something. "Ito-san can't forget the times you tried to avoid him, and that added to your appeal. Knowing that you're a woman only made you all the more desirable in his eyes. He said that 'women who cannot be easily obtained are the most fulfilling to pursue', or something along that line."
I cringed. "Now I'm dreading to meet him again."
He answered my complaint with a soft laugh of his own.
We watched as the snow began to fall softly, gently like the cherry blossoms in spring, without the wind to disturb it. I watched as he held out his hand to catch one, only to pout when he unsuccessfully managed to do so.
"And how about you, sensei?"
He sighed, giving up on the act of catching snow, and used his hands to support his weight instead as he leaned back to watch them fall. I clasped my hands on my lap, patiently waiting for his answer. I wanted to ask that to him for a long time, patiently waiting for the day that we would meet again, and now that he's here, I don't mind waiting for a little longer.
After all, I've already waited for 52 years.
"Kondo-san, Hijikata-san, Saitou-san, and most of the members are already with us, so it's never a dull moment. But I still can't help but feel a bit lonely." I wasn't surprised that he never answered me directly. Back then he would do things to avoid confronting what was asked of him (except during troop assignments, of course), either by letting others do the answering for him (in the case of Nakamura Goro), or by looking at it in an entirely different way. He would look at me back then - after all, it was unavoidable, since we were in the same troop, and he's my captain - but he would never really see me. I can't count the number of times that he entirely missed what I was really trying to say, resulting in heartbreaks and sleepless night and puffy eyes and countless tears.
But now, after all that has happened...
This time, he turned to look at me in the eye.
And I could feel that he finally sees me.
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"Because I always find myself missing you."
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Flashbacks of the times when he and I were together played in my mind; the times he used to tease me and treat me like one of his nephews and nieces, times when he would panic and turn red everytime my period came, times when he would act like a kid around me, Kondo-san, Hijikata-san, or Saito-san, times when he would stand in front of me to take the blow from an enemy during patrols...
...times when he would run and hide from me, when I would chase him to find him leaning against the well, desperately trying to suppress the cough from his lips, hastily wiping the red liquid that slid down his chin with the sleeve of his haori, and he would find me staring at him with worry and shock and hurt in my eyes. I knew back then that it won't be long, that I have to cherish whatever time we had left, for if I don't, I can never bring them back and I'll be regretting it for the rest of my life and...
This is the first time that he admitted it out loud. The first time that he told me what he felt. And I...
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"...and I've always missed you, too."
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He smiled that smile that I loved so much, and I felt tears falling from my eyes. The smile that was the reason I can't forget him after all these years, the smile that always, always haunted me in my dreams, the smile that captured my heart and had me falling for him the first time I saw it...I finally saw it again.
I surrendered to the fact that I would never see it once more before my everything ends, but now that I do, I felt that I can finally be at peace.
"I'm sorry to have kept you waiting."
And I knew that he meant it.
He stood up from the porch and brushed non-existent dust from his hakama. "I told Kondo-san that I would be the one to get you," he began. "At first, Ito-san and Nakamura-san were adamant that either one of them would do the honors. It was a good thing that Hijikata-san sided with Kondo-san. Ito-san can't refuse Hijikata-san, and Nakamura-san is just plain intimidated by him."
I slowly stood up as well, letting the blanket pool around my feet, and walked towards him. Wiping my eyes, I felt light and warm at the same time, and it wasn't because of the thick kimono. "Looks like I owe the oni vice-captain once more."
"Remind me to remind you to thank him when we get there afterwards."
I don't need to, for that will be the first thing I'll do.
And I know that he already knew that.
"It's time. Everyone's waiting."
I nodded.
"I know."
He held out his hand.
The time has finally come.
I don't have to wait anymore. Neither do they.
"Are you ready, Sei?"
Slowly I reached for his hand and entwined my fingers with his. He pulled me towards him, and before his eyes, I became the 20-year old bald-headed, idealistic, and stubborn bushi Kamiya Seizaburou once more.
And this Kamiya Seizaburou - now Tominaga Sei - was finally reunited with her mentor, captain of the first troop, Okita Souji. The wind to her grass.
Forever.
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"Ever since."
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Around them, the world became white as if in a haze, surreal and breathtaking. The last thing she saw was his face leaning towards hers, pulling her into a kiss before she closed her eyes for the last time.
He watched as the people started to depart from the cemetery after paying their last respects.
His kendo students, no – her usually calm and collected students – never bothered restraining their tears during the cremation process as their sensei, Tominaga Sei of the Kamiya School of Fighting and Swordsmanship, was finally laid to rest.
She was 72 years old.
Staring at the vertical grave marker bearing her name, the once-catatonic boy, now second-generation master of the Kamiya School of Fighting named Masaichi, formerly known as Mabo knelt before it, clasped his hands and said a silent prayer.
He remembered the day when he and his students discovered Sei's body the morning after her death. When she never showed up to watch over the morning practice like she usually did, they decided to go to her room to check if she was still asleep. They found her frozen solid on the ground, her body lightly covered with snow, her hands arranged as if she was clasping someone else's hand. There was a smile on her face, a smile that lightened the grimness of her state, and at that moment Mabo knew she was finally at peace, and he knew whose hand she held last before she passed on.
Only those who were close to her knew that she had been only waiting for her time, so that she can be reunited with her mentor and true love Okita Souji, who passed away half a century ago due to tuberculosis.
Finishing his prayer, he stood up and dusted his hakama before leaving, but not before glancing at Sei's grave once more. He smiled.
"I know you're happy where you are now, Osei-san," he whispered, before walking away.
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The wind blew at that moment, and Mabo was sure that it was her laughter he heard that was carried along with it.
And beyond the living plane, on a grassy hill, two figures, a free-spirited young man and a idealistic yet stubborn girl, smiled and waved as they ran towards a group of men clad in sky blue, smiling and waving at them in return, with the flag bearing the kanji for sincerity hovering above them, swaying underneath the eternally blue sky.