AU fic.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognise.

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Chapter one

Once upon a time in a tree outside a beautiful house was a pink-haired girl who was scribbling furiously into a notebook.

"My assignment that sucks Part one

By Sakura Haruno

You know there are tons of movies and books and other such forms of media, which revolve around the concept of making a deal with the devil. Even Disney marketed this concept under the guise of Hercules .You would think that the moral of the story is to never make a deal with the devil no matter what the circumstances, never ever sign a deal with Hades or any other such form of the Lord of the Dead.

But see the truth is there are some divine powers which are less powerful than him and still manage to keep you on a shorter leash and cause your life to turn into a virtual hell.

And that's where I come in.

Hello my name is Sakura Haruno and I work for Cupid. Or as he prefers to be called Eros (he thinks it sounds more badass I think it sounds like he's a porno star).

You may have heard the many stories of arrows of love and stuff like that, well after the Psyche fiasco things were changed a bit. Instead people got assigned 'handlers' of sorts who would find their perfect match and set them up them e.g.-Cinderella's fairy God-mother (who was my trainer).These handlers are the ones born out of the love that cupid and/or his aides give them. Once you complete twenty five assignments you are free to live life as a normal human being. Unfortunately if you don't complete one assignment you get two as punishment. And I have to complete fifty assignments instead of twenty five(Long story short I took on the share of my sisters work).So far I'm on assignment forty nine.

That's right I'm that close to freedom .I'm very good at the job. In fact if I have been employee of the month for every month I have been on the job. And the fact that I am just seventeen makes it even sweeter.

It's just kind of sad that while I have been working for so long I won't get to use the references for when I go out into the real world to work. Pity.

I'm good at my job, but I know my limitations. I know there are some people who are just not cut out for love. I'm not a miracle worker. And that's why this assignment really bums me out.

See I am currently hanging outside the great Uchiha mansion. Literally. I'm on a tree outside my charge's room invisible to human eyes.

Who is my charge you ask?

The man no one agreed to take. Hell people preferred to take on Mel Gibson just to get out of being his handler. Mel Gibson!

I of course got his name in a lottery (which I think was rigged).

You see children; my charge is the infamous Sasuke Uchiha.

Insert fan girls screaming here

Yes you would think that finding the perfect love for a boy with his own fan club(284699 members and counting) his own facebook fan page , a website dedicated to him, an official merchandise store without doing anything other than being a high school student and one of the heirs to a billion dollar corporation, would be easy right?

Well it isn't.

He hates the world. No seriously he actually hates the world, glares at everyone, there is always something about them that he hates .So far the only girls I found with all the characteristics he can stand are either a) taken b) lesbians c) dead.

And that's not the only issue.

I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HIS DEAL!

No seriously, I have no idea if he's straight or gay or plain bisexual or anything! The boy is a block of ice!

Which is why I'm in the tree outside his room. I figure I might be able to find out something anything that indicates his preference so that I can narrow down the list of potentials further down. Just in case he's gay, I've started looking for guys who fit his preferences too. Unfortunately all the guys I've found are either a) taken b) straight c) dead. And I'm here. In a tree .With squirrels running into me occasionally because I'm invisible to them too. There's this really annoying one who keeps on trying to walk into me .He's hit his head on my leg so many times I've stopped counting. Oh look there he is again.

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Well he won't be troubling me anymore. I just flicked him off the branch.

Right, back to the ice-block. So far I have learnt that he has no personality. The man has no life! He gets back from school, finishes his homework and then if there's a lot of time left he plays basketball. Alone. Though sometimes he plays with his brother.

Now his brother, he is another piece of work. At the age of 5 he was found to be a child prodigy. He did the whole shebang, graduating from school early and going to college at a really young age, the works. And his father put him to work when he was 's been a workaholic ever since.

The entire family (or as their father calls it, clan) is bat-shit crazy. The only relatively normal one in the entire bunch is the matriarch Mikoto. Who is obsessed with getting herself some grandchildren to spoil.

I almost feel sad for the poor bint who'll have to get married into the family. She'd be a baby-making machine with an ice-block for a husband.

Meh it's not my problem.

Wait it is.

So I'm still outside Sasuke's room. Sadly enough so were a bunch of his fangirls. That's right a few made it past the security and are now on the branch next to mine looking for their precious 'Sasuke-kun'.

Want to hear something that's even sadder? They are actually some of the candidates I have to consider for the role of 'Sasuke's Soul mate'.

Right now Sasuke's not in his room. The fangirls left a while back after stealing some clothes of his so I can't even amuse myself with throwing acorns at them and blaming the squirrels for it. And I'm bored. Do you want to know what his room looks like?

It's got dark blue walls and dark blue bed sheets with the Uchiha fan on it. The furniture is all dark mahogany. The floor is black marble like tile.

Can you sense the theme yet?

His room is next to –"

"What are you doing?" Sakura looked up from the notebook she was writing in to see the older brother of the boy she was stalking, looking straight into her viridian eyes. They stared unblinking at each other for a minute before she yelped and started flailing around, ultimately falling off the tree.

As the many branches of the tree continued to hit her on her way down, the young prodigy watched her descent with a hint of interest on his usually expressionless face. The pink haired girl had been observing Sasuke for days now jotting down things in her journal but not once had his brother noticed her, even when he would have been staring straight at her.

He knew she couldn't possibly have been a fangirl from the way she didn't swoon like the rest nor did she actually enter the house and violate Sasuke's privacy like the others were prone to.

Not to mention it wasn't everyday you saw someone with pink hair.

From under the tree Sakura got up wincing as the pain in her...well, body became apparent and glared at the branches that had attempted to break her fall and ended up breaking her bones instead.

When she saw Itachi still looking at her, panic began to settle in. Humans weren't supposed to be able to see her when she used an invisibility spell. Muttering a transportation spell under her breath, she teleported herself back to Cupid's headquarters.

As Itachi watched the pink haired chit disappear into nothing, his eyebrows flew up his forehead.

Things had just gotten very interesting.

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So should I continue or not?

Please review.