[Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin...or Arthur. I'd like to own Arthur...can you blame me?]

Guess Who's Coming To Dinner?

A Modern Family Dinner AU

Part One

"When it comes down to it," Gaius had always said, "you are a part of my family."

Of course, Merlin might have thought this statement more convincing had Gaius actually invited Merlin and Hunith to a single family dinner before now.

At least Gaius' timing was good—Hunith's latest useless-but-long-term-boyfriend, Cedric, had just broken it off with Hunith in time for the winter hols, because, as his title implied, he was an absolute wanker. And Merlin understood it would be good for Hunith to spend the hols with people—even new people. Merlin had always thought of Gaius as a sort-of well-meaning, slightly strange uncle, even if he was only a friend of the family. And Merlin really didn't usually mind that, to Gaius, he and his mother were the kind of "part of the family" that you didn't invite over for the hols, or display their photos.

Except now that they were invited over to Gaius' gigantic house, a house Merlin had never seen before in his life, he was feeling a bit more resentful. And the thunder upon their arrival had been incredibly ominous—thunder before a storm? Who had even heard of that?

Tonight was clearly doomed.

He considered all of this as he stood in Gaius's front hallway—Hunith had already been whisked away by some old friends of hers that Merlin didn't recognize. So now he was stuck just standing here awkwardly. He was good at that, at least.

"Oh, you're the little boy in the photos!" A gorgeous, dark-haired girl approached Merlin. She looked close to his age, maybe a few years older. "You always looked so darling; I've wanted to meet you for years! And you've grown quite nicely, haven't you?"

Merlin had absolutely no idea what photos the girl was talking about. "Thanks?" he said, shaking her hand.

And then, suddenly, he knew exactly which photos she was talking about. With his hand still caught between hers, he froze. "Oh, no."

She laughed lightly, the high, clear sound mimicking bells, and how did she even do that with her voice? "You were so adorable!" she cried.

"These wouldn't happen to be photos from when I was three and taking a bath, would they?"

"Just adorable," the girl enthused. She gently pulled her hand from Merlin's grasp. "The photos are in the stairwell, if you wanted to know. My name's Morgana."

"Excuse me," Merlin said. Then he turned around, because he was not an absolute dunce (no matter what Will might tell people) and he remembered to tell the girl his name, as well, and then he ran to the stairwell.

The spiral stairwell (which was about as grand as the rest of the house, which is to say very) was distracting—Merlin got lost for a moment just staring at the intricate carvings on the mahogany stairwell. The motif was clearly medieval—knights and wizards and Celtic symbols were etched into every inch of the staircase's side—it was all the more impressive that none of the carvings had been worn away by anyone's hands or feet.

"Do you like it?" A familiar voice asked.

Merlin turned upwards to see Gaius winding down the staircase, passing right by what had to be the most embarrassing photos Merlin had ever witnessed—a three-year-old Merlin in the bath, in a gigantic wizard's hat that only emphasized the size of his freakishly large ears, and dressed as a fairy princess, knighting Gaius with a little fairy wand. In each of the photos, except the very last, Merlin was, of course, absolutely starkers.

"Gaius—" Merlin began urgently.

"Merlin, my boy, it is wonderful to see you! Now, do you like the carvings?"

Merlin glanced quickly at the carvings. "Very much, Gaius, but about the photos—"

"The designs have followed my family for a very long time," Gaius said. Reaching the bottom of the stairwell, he stood beside Merlin. Gaius ran his fingers along the carvings in the wood, and Merlin had to blink and clear his eyes because he was nearly certain the designs had changed positions since Gaius touched them. But that was impossible…

"I do like them," Merlin murmured. "Very much."

"But you don't like the photos," Gaius chuckled. Merlin had forgotten how good Gaius was at reading other people. It was uncanny, really.

"Yeah, uh, well…" Merlin fidgeted. "Could you maybe just take them down? Just for tonight?"

"Certainly not, Merlin!" Gaius grinned. "They've been on my wall practically since they've been taken; everyone here tonight will have seen them already."

"Oh," Merlin said, groaning as inwardly as possible.

"Besides," Gaius continued, "by this point they're part of the décor. They've always been an excellent conversation piece."

"Now, Merlin," Gaius clasped Merlin on the shoulder and began leading him back to the living room, where everyone seemed to be gathered, all at once. "Have you met Morgana and Uther yet?"

"Uh…Morgana, yes, Uther, no."

"That's probably for the best," Gaius said, but he was smiling. "Morgana is Uther's stepdaughter and, to be honest, a bit better with new people than he is. Arthur, Uther's son, is coming tonight, too. He should be here any minute, though I'm sure he'll make some sort of excuse about getting caught in the rain…" Gaius looked around absentmindedly, trying to figure out who else he should point out to Merlin.

"You'll have to meet John, of course," Gaius said, referring to his new husband. "I cannot believe you two have never been introduced…but he seems to be greeting your mother at the moment, let's let them be for a bit, shall we? And who else…"

"Gaius," an unfamiliar voice said, pulling the man away.

"Sorry, Merlin," Gaius said. "I'll be right back."

"Oh. Yeah. That's okay!" Merlin called after him, feeling like an utter idiot. He was so bad at these social things. Terrible, really…

Merlin felt someone tugging at his pants. He looked down to see a tiny boy with gigantic blue eyes nearly covered in fringe.

"Hi," Merlin said, smiling but also a bit wary. Not that he was scared of a small child, because that made no sense whatsoever, but because…well, he wasn't quite sure why he was wary. It was just a little boy, after all.

"Hi?" he tried, when the boy didn't answer. "My name's Merlin."

The boy stared at Merlin with wide eyes.

"So what's your name?" Merlin asked, a bit shaken.

"Oh! This is where you wandered off to! You're talking to…the boy from the photos! Hi!" A tall, dark-haired man scooped up the boy in his arms. "You must be Merlin. I'm Cerdan, and this is Mordred."

"Hello," Merlin said.

"Sorry if Mordred here was a bit quiet," Cedran said, "he's got a bit of a lisp, so he takes a while to warm up to new people." He poked Mordred's nose, while the boy continued staring at Merlin. "Once you get him going, though, he's a real chatterbox. You should see him then!"

Mordred eyes seemed to grow wider.

Somehow, Merlin was beginning to doubt the whole "chatterbox" thing.

"Oh, wonderful, you're meeting lots of people," Gaius said, breezing in like he'd managed to be there the entire time, except now he had a glass of red wine with him. "Dinner is beginning soon, I promise, we're just waiting on Arthur a bit—apparently it's very rainy outside." Gaius winked at Merlin.

"You'll get along with Arthur rather well, won't you?" asked a second man, who was standing behind Gaius.

"What?" Merlin said.

"Oh, John," Gaius said, putting an arm around the man—This must be Gaius' new husband, Merlin thought—"Let the boys get on for themselves!" Gaius turned to Merlin. "John's into…Tarot, I guess you'd call it. Apparently, you and Arthur got on magnificently when he put the cards together for tonight."

"We sat you next to each other," John added seriously. "You can thank me later."

"Erm," said Merlin, as politely as possible.

"So whenever Arthur arrives," Gaius said, "everything will be just lovely. Now, John, did you remember to add Merlin and Hunith to your toast?"

John nodded. "Of course."

Merlin balked. "Oh. Oh, that is really, really not necessary. Mum doesn't really like to be fussed over, and I don't do terribly well under public scrutiny…"

"Public scrutiny!" Gaius chuckled. "Merlin, we're family. Or we're not family, actually, which is even better. You're allowed to forget most of our names!"

Cedran approached. "I don't mean to be a bother, Gaius, but Mordred's getting hungry. Is there anything we can grab from the kitchen?"

"Are the appetizers all gone?" Gaius asked, and the man nodded.

"Very well. Bugger Arthur, though we love him so—I think it's time to eat." Gaius knocked on his wine glass with a fork. "Time for dinner, everyone! Let's adjourn to the dining room!"

Merlin followed Gaius to the dining room, where they found Merlin's mum already seated at the long table. She looked much happier than Merlin had seen her all week—laughing and joking with women her age, instead of sobbing over romantic comedies on telly.

"Sorry to interrupt," Merlin said to the women. "Hi, mum? Do you know where we're supposed to be sitting?"

"I'm right here, sweetheart," Hunith said, pointing to her place card. "I haven't seen your name anywhere, though."

"You're probably at the children's table," said a teenaged girl passing by. "Er, not to say that you're childish, or maybe you are, I suppose I don't know you, but I assume you're reasonably mature…It's just that Gaius seats everyone at the children's table until they're either married or, like, ancient."

"Oi!" Hunith said, sounding every bit like a teenaged girl. "I'm not ancient!"

"This is my mum," Merlin explained. "Hunith, meet…"

"Gwen," the girl smiled sweetly. "And I know, you're Merlin. Photos, and all."

"Aren't they just adorable?" Hunith said.

"Thanks a lot, mum," Merlin muttered. "So where is this children's table?"

Gwen pointed to a second, smaller, circular table off to the side. Mordred was already sitting there, doing as he usually did—watching Merlin.

"Wonderful," Merlin muttered. He watched as the girl from before—Morgana—took her seat at the main table, next to an elderly man.

"Gwen, is Morgana married?"

"No."

"And she's not ancient…but she gets to sit at the adult's table?"

"Yeah. And trust me, with Uther, it's better this way." Gwen explained this as she led Merlin over to his seat. Sure enough, Gwen was next to him on one side, and on the other was an unoccupied spot left for "Arthur." There was also a pair of small blonde girls, sticking their tongues out at each other.

Merlin sat down. "It's 'better?' What do you mean by—"

"Is everyone seated?" Gaius asked, looking around at the nearly full tables. "Wonderful. If we're all ready to begin, alcohol is probably in order." Everyone laughed a bit at that. "John?"

John stood up, and raised his glass. "Destiny has gathered us all here today," he began. "Some might call it Yule tidings, or even a holiday miracle. However, they would be mistaken, for it was rather the greater hand of fate."

"Wow," Merlin said.

"Yep," Gwen replied.

"It was upon another Christmas, far back in my childhood, I learned the importance of fate and destiny…"

"Is he always like this?"

"Oh, yes. His speeches—you can't quite call them toasts, can you? Not when they're so long—are always incredibly weird. He also asks that we call him 'The Dragon.'"

"Seriously?"

"It's the name the gathering gave him." Gwen said "gathering" like it was a word Merlin should understand. Which he did not, but before he could ask about it he heard his name.

"And now, to have Merlin and Hunith join the circle…"

"Maybe he's a bit bothersome, but we all sort-of put up with him, you know?" Gwen said. "I mean, have you ever seen Gaius so happy?"

Merlin looked over at Gaius, who was smiling at John like he had just hung the moon.

"I guess not," Merlin admitted.

"We shall be joined here today like a two-sided coi—well, like a many-sided dice. And I think…"

"And he's better than Uther," Gwen finished.

"You're all a bit weird, aren't you?" Merlin asked.

"Oi! Watch it, Merlin," Gwen said. "And, also, yes, I can see how one might consider us the tiniest bit odd, not that you said odd, you said weird, which is really a bit worse!"

"Yeah. Sorry."

"It's okay. They're just…family, you know? Oh! John's done."

Merlin and Gwen took obligatory sips of their drinks.

Merlin watched Hunith, laughing nervously in that awkward but happy way of hers. He saw Gaius place a hand on her shoulder, and saw Hunith turn to Gaius with a brilliant, and very genuine, smile.

"I think I get it," Merlin said. "The whole family thing?"

Gwen grinned. "Good. Now, how about some food?"

Merlin's eyes drifted to the back of the room, where Gaius had just begun uncovering tray after tray of meats, breads,and vegetables. Everything looked amazing. Although anything would've looked amazing to Merlin right now—Hunith always left Merlin to do cooking when she was heartbroken, and while Merlin never minded, he was hardly the best of chefs…

"Wow," he said.

One of the two little blonde girls turned to Merlin, smiling. "Our table eats first!"

Merlin glanced back at Gwen, who nodded. "Vivian's 's at least one advantage to sitting here…"

The doorbell rang, and Gaius ran off to answer.

Merlin waited as the younger girls and Mordred piled their plates with food. He was just about to add some turkey to his plate when someone tapped their fingers on his shoulder. He turned back around.

"Gwen?"

"Not in the least," a boy behind him said. "Are you done with that yet?"

"Arthur," Merlin breathed, which was embarrassing, but so not Merlin's fault. Because standing behind Merlin was currently the most gorgeous mass of soaking-wet blondeness Merlin had ever seen. Arthur certainly had been caught in the rain, to say the least. The boy had to be his age, he just had to (and clearly he was, thank God!), and his eyes, with the lashes all wet, and his mouth all…

And that's when Merlin noticed Arthur was laughing.

"You're the boy in the photos!" Arthur crowed. "The ears have only grown with age, haven't they?"

And apparently, Merlin realized, the blonde dreamboat was a total arsehole. Clotpole. Something really, really obnoxious. Prat. Yes, that was it.

"You prat," Merlin muttered sadly.

"Arthur! Play nice, please," Morgana said from somewhere else along the line.

"Oh, come on, he posed as a fairy princess!"

"Are you drunk?" Merlin asked.

"Oh, he's always a bit like this," Gwen said, walking back to her seat. Merlin followed. "But if you want to make him equally embarrassed, all you have to do is call him Sir Arthur."

"Why would that work?"

"It's sort of an old family joke," she said. "He always wanted to be an Arthurian knight, if not the king himself, and none of us had the heart to tell him they all died out bloody ages ago. So for years and years he expected to go off after uni saving princesses, or slaying dragons, or whatever it is knights do."

That wasn't so embarrassing, Merlin thought…If Arthur hadn't been such a prat, it was the kind of story Merlin would've found adorable.

"My favorite, Merlin?" Arthur said, ignoring his place card and sitting down square across the table. "Has always been the wizard one. I think the hat really made the ears stand out, you know?"

Vivian poked Arthur in the arm. "Arthur, you're in my seat," she said.

Arthur began eating.

Gwen looked annoyed at Arthur, but wasn't saying anything to the older boy. This was just ridiculous.

"Sir Arthur," Merlin said, and Arthur's head automatically jerked up, "don't you think you should give the girl her seat back? Prove chivalry isn't dead?"

"I guess we've come to the point of calling names, have we? Only, wait, you don't have a name. I guess 'naked boy' will have to do. It has kind of a ring to it."

"Or you could call me Merlin," Merlin said.

"Don't get smart, naked boy," Arthur chided. "It'll only confuse everyone."

"Is that an order, sire?"

Merlin saw the blonde girls whispering furiously to each other. The seated girl turned to Gwen and asked why the boys were fighting with each other.

"All right," Gwen said, putting down her fork. "That's enough. Arthur, Merlin is new to family dinner, please be nice? And give Vivian back her seat already!"

Arthur looked at Vivian like he hadn't realized she had been standing for the past two minutes. He traded plates with the girl long enough for him to help her get set up. He didn't apologize, but he pushed her chair in for her after she sat down. Vivian beamed up at Arthur like he was some sort of God, and Arthur walked over to his proper seat, next to Merlin. He began eating silently.

"Wow," Merlin whispered to Gwen. "That was impressive."

Gwen looked a bit shocked herself. "I sounded like my mum!" she whispered back.

Merlin smiled and started eating as well. Things grew quiet as everyone tucked into their food—even Mordred seemed to take a break from watching Merlin to look equally intense about chewing sweet potato mash. The blonde girls pushed green vegetables onto each others' plates. Arthur's voice had to be the last thing Merlin expected to hear in the midst of everything. And yet, there it was.

"Naked boy."

Merlin looked up, cautious—but Arthur didn't seem angry, exactly. He spoke the words in between bites of food, as if he was trying to initiate civilized conversation or something.

Merlin wasn't entirely sure what to do with that.

"Sir Arthur."

"Just Arthur will do, unless you want me to start telling everyone you're my royal manservant."

Merlin blinked. That had almost sounded like Arthur was flirting. With though there was probably a higher probability that Merlin was going insane than the chance that flirting was going on here and then between the two of them. Merlin coughed, and pulled himself together.

"If I stop calling you 'Sir Arthur,' will you stop calling me 'naked boy,'?"

Arthur looked up from his food and grinned. "Not a chance. Now, naked boy, tell us a little about yourself."

"Gaius said Merlin's at uni," Gwen chimed in, smiling at Merlin.

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Of course he is. What are you studying, then?"

"Chemistry," Merlin said.

"Really?" Arthur's eyebrows shot up. He smiled without showing teeth. "Well, my father must just love you."

"I haven't met him yet. Why?" Merlin took a bite of the asparagus the blonde girls had been avoiding. It was quite good, actually. He ate more.

"Uther runs one of the biggest pharmaceutical companies in England," Gwen explained. "I guess it's just surprising you didn't know. Arthur's in-training to manage everything when Uther retires."

"All the joys of being a Pendragon," Arthur added.

Merlin swallowed his food before he could spit it out in shock. "Pendragon Pharmaceuticals? That company?"

"It really does take you a while to catch on, doesn't it?"

"It's really more of an empire," Gwen murmured.

"I applied for an internship there! I was hired! Um…does that make you my boss?"

"It does not. Fortunately for you," Arthur said proudly, "I quit today."

The entire table was silent.

Mordred blinked.

"Wait," Gwen said. "What?"

Arthur shrugged. "I quit."

Gwen put down her fork. "Arthur, can you even do that? Just quit? What did Uther say?"

"He was delighted, Guinevere," Arthur said sarcastically. "What do you think he said?"

"But…but you both came to dinner!"

"Of course they did," Morgana said. She brought a chair with her, and sat down between Arthur and the little girls. "Do you think Gaius would ever forgive them if they skipped? Besides, Arthur and Uther don't have to sit at the same table, or even speak to each other. There's no reason everyone can't appear perfectly civilized." Morgana said this last bit rather pointedly, with her eyes trained on Arthur. Then she turned to Gwen.

"And of course we all know Uther's temper, and Arthur's quitting was likely a sign of complete idiocy, but that doesn't mean it should ruin the hols, should it now?"

"I guess not?" Gwen said.

Morgana kissed Arthur on the cheek. "Hello, darling."

"You know I did hear that bit about me being an idiot—which I am not," Arthur told her.

"Lovely," Morgana said, totally unfazed. "I'm keeping your reflexes sharp…since your sanity is clearly gone. Arthur, really. I can't believe you quit!"

Arthur turned away from Morgana (and incidentally, towards Merlin) "I don't want to discuss this."

"I mean," Morgana said, "can you even do that?"

Arthur sent a pleading look to Merlin, of all people. What Merlin was supposed to do with this situation, to appease these people he didn't really know about a conflict he didn't fully understand, well, Merlin had no idea. It wasn't like he was exactly magic in social situations, or anything.

"Seriously, though," Morgana said. "Explain this to me, Arthur. I'm assuming anger played a significant role today…" She sighed. "So what were you angry about?"

Arthur was still watching Merlin expectantly.

Merlin widened his eyes at Arthur to very clearly indicate, How in hell would I know what to do in this situation?

Arthur nodded back, because maybe Arthur was also not magic in social situations.

Merlin shook his head at Arthur—We will ALL regret this—and then turned to Morgana.

"So, Morgana, erm… do you know if Arthur has an obsession with nicknames?"

Morgana smiled at Arthur, and Merlin couldn't tell if that was a good or bad sign. "I hadn't heard, but maybe he's taking up new hobbies in his unemployment. Why? What's he named you?"

Merlin coughed. "Well, that's not really what I meant—"

Morgana stared at him, waiting.

"Naked boy?"

She laughed aloud, (like bells, again) and Arthur kicked Merlin's shin under the table. So much for that plan.

"Oh, that kind of a nickname. Yes, well, I think you two will turn out just fine. Lovely bit of subtext they've got going on here, isn't it?" she asked Gwen.

Gwen grinned. "You don't know the half of it," she said. "Remind me to tell you later about…" and then she started whispering.

Merlin turned to Arthur.

"I don't...Um, do I want to know what they're going on about?"

"NO," Arthur said. "But I guess they're distracted for the moment, thank God."

Merlin felt a smile beginning to form across his face. "So I wasn't a total failure?"

Arthur dipped his head for a moment, considering. "Only a partial failure," he decided.

"You know, while kings might not need to say thanks, it's quite a commendable trait in the common people."

"You should keep working on that, then."

"Would it kill you to take one moment off from your life as a prat?"

"I'm sorry, naked boy, what did you just call me?"

"Well…Would you prefer the term clotpole?"

"What?"

Gwen and Morgana, who had apparently caught on to their exchange, broke out into a fresh round of giggles. Merlin decided not to push his luck any further. He stood.

"So I'm going to go find my mum, if no one minds. Make sure she's doing alright with all the new people. She's still getting over her breakup, so I think I'd just better…Um. I'll be back."

Morgana smiled up at him. Merlin had hoped no one had actually heard him, but that just seemed too much to ask for tonight.

"That's very sweet of you, Merlin," she said.

"Thanks. Well."

And then he ran away.

He didn't run terribly far—and he did check in with his mother first, who introduced Merlin to a long series of old friends she was laughing with. She had apparently been sharing some of the highlights of her Stream of Useless Boyfriends, and everyone found her utterly delightful. Merlin shook lots of hands and then excused himself to the bathroom.

Actually, he went to the staircase.

He wasn't sure why he went back to the staircase, exactly, but it calmed him down to examine the medieval carvings again as he sat on the mahogany stairs. He tried repeating Gaius' action from before—he ran his fingers along the designs, and jumped back a little when he thought he saw a carved hunting dog stand up after he touched the carving of the animal. He tried again, and the dog's mouth was open.

Barking, Merlin understood, even though there was no way he could possibly know what the dog was doing, because it was a wooden carving, and not a real dog, and tonight was just getting too damn strange. He put a hand up to his forehead, but he couldn't feel a fever of any sort. He closed his eyes and felt his head again—maybe he just wasn't trying hard enough…

"I'm not certain that's wise," Gaius said, and Merlin's eyes flicked open. The man stood on the first floor, watching Merlin through the poles of the banister.

"How did you find me?" Merlin asked.

"Well, for one, there aren't any bathrooms in the direction you left the dining room. But I also thought I might find you here."

Right. This was that whole uncanny bit, where Gaius always seemed to know what you were thinking. Merlin sort-of wished he could do that. It might make social situations easier, and moments like this one, with him staring at Gaius and sitting on the man's stairwell, less awkward.

"Er. Why?" Merlin asked.

"You seemed intrigued by them earlier," Gaius said, and reached between the bars of the stairwell to place his fingers over the carving of the dog. When Gaius pulled his hand away, however, there was no dog at all but a horse.

A shudder ran through Merlin's body. "That's not right," Merlin murmured.

Gaius squinted at him. "What's not right, Merlin?"

"Well…did it…um."

"Did it what?"

Merlin stared at the dog—or horse, or maybe dog-now-horse? "Did the carving just move?" he whispered. "Gaius. Did…did I move it, too?" He was aware that he sounded like a crazy person, but he couldn't stop himself from asking…

"Yes."

Oh, hey. Look. Gaius was a crazy person, too.

"You're gifted, Merlin."

Merlin stared at Gaius. "What does that mean?"

Gaius didn't answer his question. Instead, the man tapped the wood. "You've actually seen these designs before. When you were quite little, you used to turn the dog into a dragon."

"I don't remember that," Merlin said, but even as he spoke the words he could picture the incident in his mind—small hands brushing over images Gaius had doodled on paper, a dog changing to a horse, changing to a…

Merlin drew his hand over the carving, and the horse became a dragon, asleep. He touched it again, and the dragon awoke.

"You were very young." Gaius continued on as though Merlin had not just changed the woodwork on his stairs. "And at the time, I had no explanation for your abilities. I knew the designs from my parents and grandparents, but I thought them merely decorative."

"And they're not."

"They tell a story," Gaius said. "A very old one, and also very important, if I can only read them. It's something I've worked on since you were small—it's how I became involved with my gathering."

There was that term again, the one Gwen had used. Why did Merlin feel like he was being roped into a conspiracy, or a secret cult? Or maybe any second now Gaius would look at Merlin like the boy was crazy and ask Merlin if he'd had a bit too much to drink at dinner, if he actually believed this elaborate practical joke.

But, actually, Gaius seemed rather serious. The man took a steadying breath.

"Not everyone in the family has supported me in this—and I'll understand if you, well. If you don't understand." He sighed. "Though you do seem to be taking all of this better than Uther."

"Uther disapproved?"

Gaius nodded. "It seems there's not always a logical explanation for the ways of the universe—a truth Uther did not wish to accept. He thought it was foolish of me to chase after a fantastic story. And after the mess with Nimueh's gathering and Arthur's mother… Suffice to say he does not hold the beliefs of many here tonight."

"But you invited him to dinner."

Gaius frowned at Merlin. "Of course I did, Merlin! He's family. You always invite family back."

"You didn't invite…" What were their names? "Nimueh? And Arthur's mum?"

Gaius ran a hand along the carvings, and the awakened dragon turned back into a dog once more. He spoke without looking at Merlin. "No, though I wish I could have. They're dead."

"Oh." Merlin said. "I'm sorry." Then he winced, because the line of thinking was horribly selfish, but he couldn't help it. "And you didn't invite me back. Not until tonight."

Gaius placed a hand over Merlin's. "Merlin, I've wanted to invite you over to our holiday dinner for years! But your mother always had some new man in her life." Gaius smiled. "And she was always so sure he was 'the one.' I couldn't take you away from what could be your future father."

Merlin remembered exactly how fatherly some of the men were—Hunith did really have a talent for believing each tortured artistic soul was "the one."

"I wouldn't have minded," Merlin muttered.

"You have no idea how delighted I was when I found out that horrid Cedric had left your mum in time for the hols this year—and you must NEVER tell your mother I said that."

Merlin smiled, a bit. "I would have liked to have known sooner about the carvings? They seem important."

"And I should have told you. But by the time I understood what was going on, you'd grown up. You had a life of your own. Who was I to change that, some strange old man obsessed with medieval art?"

Gaius closed his eyes, considering. "I supposed I could have telephoned to explain your magic abilities, but, you know, I think you would have hung up on me."

"So that's what this is? I'm magic?"

"It appears so."

Merlin thought about this for a second, then glanced up at Gaius for a moment, panicked. "Like, wizard-magic, though, right?" he asked "Not like children's-birthday-party magic?"

"I suppose it has many applications," Gaius laughed.

They sat in silence for a minute, Merlin's brain bursting with questions. Oddly enough, the one that fought its way to the surface fastest was probably the most useless. But it had been bugging Merlin all night long.

"So, um…people really call John 'the Dragon?' He's not actually a dragon, or anything."

Gaius' face got all dreamy and in love. "Well, he is in some ways."

"Like what?"

"Rawr," Gaius answered.

Merlin cracked up, despite his utter mortification. Apparently some questions he really, really didn't need answered. "No!" he cried between giggles. "Just, no! Please don't do that ever again."

"Agreed," Arthur said from the doorway. Merlin turned to see a look of absolute terror on the young man's face.

"I need to go wash my brain out with soap," Arthur said.

"Now, I believe that is code for 'get rather incredibly pissed,'" Gaius explained.

"Oh, it absolutely is," Arthur replied. "Merlin?"

"Yes?" Merlin asked, confused—but not unhappy—to hear Arthur call him by a real name.

"You had to witness this lovely moment just as much as I did; I demand you join in my drunken misery." Then Arthur turned and walked away, as if Merlin would just follow him or something.

Well, it was an option…

Merlin looked at Gaius, who smiled at him once more.

"Welcome to the family," the man said.