I remember sleeping outside, I was doing History homework, so I remember seeing this rabbit, and it was standing on its back legs like a human. In a red jacket, glasses, and with a pocket watch in its left paw. It was downright freaky lookin'. But then again, I was asleep; so it did make some sense. So I merely picked up my dream binder filled with nightmarish homework, yeah I'll stop with the dream jokes, and I walked to my room, sat on my bed and threw the damned atrocity out the window. It made a very nice slam onto the driveway, causing useless papers to fly everywhere.

"Yeah, biznitch!" I shouted in victory, raising my fists into the air. I always swear like a sailor, it's in my lazy and weird nature. I smiled like a crazy person who escaped from the local insane asylum, and continued to pet my cat, Angel, who I was having a very intellectual conversation about which place is the comfiest for a human and a cat. But, that rabbit showed up again, in all its freaking weirdness.

"It looks like a weirdy," I said.

"You're supposed to follow me!" It scolded.

"You're not even supposed to be here, Mr. Weirdy," I said.

"If you won't come with me willingly I'll-"

"What you'll beat me to death with your fuzzy, soft paws?" I mocked with a smirk.

"I'll take you by force," It said with a sneer. In a puff of smoke (hey it's a dream he can do whatever he wants) and transformed into a man with white hair and red eyes. He was dressed in the same jacket from his previous form now accompanied with brown slacks and black dress shoes.

"Um, EW," I said sticking my tongue out in disgust. He still had rabbit ears and those glasses. I just stared at him with a disturbed look on my face. I dislike rabbits very much; they're the devil's servants. Well I do like the killer bunny rabbit, but that's another story. Well, I decided I was going to kick this guy's ass. I smiled evilly and tilted my head to make it tilt straight to the left. And then started to take part in laughing evilly and shrilly, I walked slowly forward laughing even louder. I kicked him in the shin, and watched him let out an ow. I punched him in the gut and uppercutted him. His butt hit the carpet and a loud victory was shouted out from behind me. I smirked and picked up my cat, who was praising me. I smiled, but my glory didn't last long. I grabbed my IPod, my phone, and my cat. I passed Mr. Weirdy, and jumped from the third step, then getting back up to run outside from my back door. But, my mom forgot to remove the locks from the outside to the inside. Wait, oh crap. I turned around to Mr. Weirdy; with a none too pleasant look on his face. I let out an awkward laugh but it sort of died when he started getting to close for comfort. Okay, maybe I shouldn't have kicked his ass.

"All right that's it," he said glaring at me," we are going now!" Maybe I should just shut my mouth and let this guy kidnap me. But, then again, I always had a tendency for pushing people's buttons at the wrong times.

"Well someone's not a happy camper," I said. I placed my hands over my mouth before I could say anything else. Oh he doesn't look too happy. He let out a growl and hefted me over his shoulder.

"I do not concede! I did not eat the last Reese's! I'm innocent I tells ya! Innocent!" I shouted.

"Let us go you damned rabbit!" My cat yelled. I smiled instantly; did I mention I love you Angel?

"Yeah, let us go, or face the all mighty awesomeness of- wait, what are you doing?" I questioned, to mostly myself," Oh holy Freaking shit!" I was tossed down this giant hole, like your mom's- never mind. But all I saw was a light and with Mr. Weirdy following close behind us. Me and Angel were both silent, only 2 minutes into the fall did we seriously start screaming. All I saw was Weirdy smiling like a douche bag, yes I do know what a douche bag smiles like. I clutched Angel tighter as everything went dark. Then I felt two hands come up around my arms and my chest. I screamed even louder and I started to kick the air behind me. I had Angel even tighter, who was complaining about how he couldn't breathe. I finally hit something which was exchanged for an ouch. I scowled, realizing who it was.

"So, you throw me down a freaking hole and now you try a comp a feel?" I screeched.

"Now Audrey," my cat began," let me go so I can claw this guy's eyes out," he finished with a growl. His meow was pitiful but his growl was something to be feared. I didn't dare let go, mostly because I didn't want blood on my new shoes, and I didn't want to be charged with murder.

"Mr. Weirdy isn't worth it," I said," besides don't you want to see him go splat?" I wanted more than anything to see Mr. Weirdy go splat, but I didn't want to be next after him. I saw Mr. Weirdy's ears drop. I think he was sad, well at that point I could care less about him. I was more focused on what he was saying.

"What did you say Mr. Weirdy?"

"I said it's too bad we can't fall forever, and my name is not Mr. Weirdy!" he shouted.

"What? And if you don't want to be called Mr. Weirdy then tell us your name," I said bluntly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, which it was.

"Well, I'll tell you soon enough," he said. I was totally confused. I let out an ignorant "Huh?" before I saw a brighter light coming from the bottom of the seemingly endless shaft. I let out a yelp, Angel just looked below at the light and then back up at me. I flipped him so that he was facing away from the light and put his head on my shoulder. I gave him a brief squeeze and buried my face into his fur, and then I felt arms encircle my waist. But, before I could protest, we were swallowed up by the light.

I woke up, on the cold hard ground, well it was more like stone, but I doubt that truly matters. Everything seemed fuzzy for a few seconds, and then my vision returned. I was on top of a castle like structure, with blue skies above me and clouds passing along lazily. I started searching for Angel; I knew he was with me when we went into the light. I found him 10 feet away from me, and I began crawling towards him. I picked him up, and he was snoring, which was too cute for words. I held him in my arms like you would hold a baby. He was my little boy after all- ok I'll stop. As if on cue, Mr. Weirdy appeared out of the blue. I gave the meanest glare I could give him, and held Angel tighter. I kept my eyes on him, he only walked forward with that grin again, oh god I hated that grin. I bared my teeth like a feral animal, and let out a small growl. He only smiled wider. I was ticked.

"Oh wipe that grin off your face rabbit," I said putting all the venom in the word rabbit. But he reached into his once nonexistent pocket and pulled out a clear blue vial with a cap that had a small blue heart.

"I need you to drink this," he said with a blank look on his face.

"Are you freaking serious? Are you freaking serious?" I shouted." You throw me down a hole, comp a feel, knock me and my cat out, and NOW you decide to tell me to drink this suspicious liquid? HOW dare you?"

"But you won't progress any farther," He said with a pout.

"Are you completely fucked up in the head?" I questioned, anger radiating off me. If this was a old American cartoon, a lightbulb would have apeared over my head.

"All right," I said.

"Wait, what?" He questioned.

"I'll drink your whatever it is," I said.

"Really?" He asked, I nodded," Oh this is perfect!" He held out the blue vial, which I snatched out of his hand. I looked at the contents of the vial, and with a flick of my wrist I threw it as hard as I could into the sky and beyond. Mr. Weirdy just stood there with an eerie smirk. I felt myself back up holding Angel to my body, but I felt something in my hand. I opened up my right hand and found the blue vial. Let's just say my heart stopped for 2 seconds. I screamed; this was a Click© moment. I threw it at Mr. Weirdy. He caught it, and started walking forward.

"Come on, you said you would drink it," he said. I was horrified.

"All right give me the damn vial! I'm freaking tired of you playing with my mind, just leave me the hell alone!" I yelled.

"Aww, you aren't any fun. Oh well," he said with a sigh, but he held out that pesky, little vial once more. I snatched it right out of his hand and sent him a glare before gulping down its contents. It tasted sweet, bitter and spicy all at the same time. I had to force myself to swallow it. I had tears in my eyes, it was awful. I glared back up at him, and asked a question that had been buried in my subconscious.

"Am I dead?" I asked.

"Dead?" he questioned," Of course you're not dead! You're dreaming!" He declared, with a smile. I felt my jaw drop as soon as he said that. But the wise ass in me couldn't let it be blow away in the wind.

"Oh, ok, I get it now," I said with a smile," You put me in a coma, and now I'm going to die! Oh, it makes PERFECT Freaking Sense!" I screamed at him." And you also killed my cat! Great job asshole!"

He looked like he was shocked, which made me say 'really?' inside my head. But his mouth curled up into a smile once more, and the look in his eyes told me that he knew something I didn't.

"Well whether you want to or not, the game has begun," he said." Oh, by the way my name is Peter White, and I'll see you again soon."

"Go to hell," I said.

He descended down the stairs that also appeared out of nowhere. I picked myself up and ran after him. I held onto Angel tighter as I pounded my feet onto the steps to get after Peter. I wanted to yell at him until he went deaf or would have shoved a large machete into his ear. I finally got to the bottom of the steps and quickly looked around for him. I was SOL at that point. I felt Angel star to stir in my arms, his eyes starting to open. He blinked a couple of times before turning his head in all sorts of directions before finally settling his gaze on me.

"What in the hell happened?" He asked, still groggy.

"I don't know I didn't get a good enough answer," I said shrugging my shoulders.

"What answer did you get?" Angel questioned.

"Apparently we're dreaming," I said with an eye roll. But, I knew that I had to keep walking, so I did.

"You can put me down," Angel stated.

"I could, I would, I probably should, but I won't," I said. So, we walked off into the forest with much swearing and complaining. It seemed like 4 hours had passed before I reached a gate. It was way too fancy for my tastes, but I'm not the one who wanted it.

"Uh, hello?" I called out." Is anyone out there?"

"Oh, yeah bring out the things that want to eat us," Angel said.

"Oh shut up, what do you know anyway?"

"What if the people here are cannibals? What are we going to do then?" Angel questioned.

"Um, I don't know! How in the nine hells do I know that smart ass? I'm not the almighty all knowing Audrey!" I shouted. The stress was building up in my mind. I guess my good judgment was all the way in China at that point.

"Excuse me miss?" A voice began.

"What!" Angel and I shouted in unison. I turned around to a brunette in a red jacket, whose ends reached down to his ankles. He had a black shirt and pants, with a sword on one of the belt loops. He had red eyes, which scared me a little.

"You're going to get crow's feet when you're older if you keep smiling like that," I pointed out. He kept on smiling as if it went out one ear and out the other.

"Hi," he began," I'm looking for the castle but I guess I'm lost, do you know which way it is?"

"Uh, I just got here so I don't know what the hell you're talking about. Wait, how tall are you?" I asked.

"6'2," he answered.

"Hah! My brother's taller than you!" I shouted in victory.

"Audrey, we don't have time! We need to find that god awful rabbit!" Angel shouted. I pouted.

"Oh cool, you have a cat that talk?" the guy asked.

"No this is my Uncle Pablo, he's a penguin who owns a barber shop and collects stamps, Of Course He's a Cat who can talk!" I shouted." What's your name anyway?"

"My name's Ace, I'm the knight of the Castle of Hearts!" he declared." And how do you know Peter?'

"Long story, but how do you know Peter?" I asked.

"He works at the castle with me." Ace said.

"Take us there!" Angel demanded.

"Well, I would but as I said before I'm lost." Ace said. I sighed, but I smiled.

"I guess we'll have to walk around in circles until we find it." I said. We both smiled at each other.

"Dammit knight!" Someone shouted, I yelped in surprise and Ace kept on smiling. I turned to find another guy with rabbit ears, only with a gun pointed at both me and Ace. He had orange hair, and two light brown rabbit ears. He was wearing a dark green jacket with a purple worn scarf with wheat popping out at random. He also had pants and a belt that had a skeleton bunny with an eye patch. The thing that tipped me off the edge was that he had purple eyes, I have heard of people having purple eyes but this was just… weird.

"Hey, Mr. Weird Eyes," I shouted," Do you wear contacts?"

"What?" He yelled.

"Mr. Weird Eyes? Is that your new nickname Elliot?" Ace said with a laugh.

"Shut up Knight, and this is Hatter Territory!" Elliot said.

"No Captain Obvious, it's the Castle of Hearts," I said with a smirk. Ace just smiled even wider, but Elliot's face started turning red.

"Uh, Audrey?" Angel began.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"I think you should stop."

"Why- Oh he doesn't look happy," I said widening my eyes.

"Ya think?" Angel yelled and I heard a bullet shoot into a tree. And in front of us was Elliot with a silver Red 9, it was beautiful gun, but with the barrel facing you, it was an entirely different story.

"Now Elliot, don't get mad, we're just pulling your leg." I said holding my hands up in surrender.

"Shut up woman!" Elliot yelled at me.

"Sexist!" I screamed pointing a finger at him.

"Now, Audrey, I would step back. Elliot is going to start a fight; I would hide behind the trees." Ace said calmly, pushing me towards one of the many oaks that littered the forest. Then I heard Elliot fire some more bullets. I heard the clang of metal, and decided to look out from my shield. Ace was still smiling with his sword out and deflecting Elliot's bullets. Most of the time Ace would dodge and Elliot would curse, or sometimes Ace would hit Elliot, or Elliot would hit Ace.

"Jesus, do you even have to reload?" I asked Elliot.

"Shut up!" he yelled at me before firing a bullet in my direction. I knew I couldn't dodge as fast as Ace so I dropped Angel and took the bullet myself. It hurt, and I screamed. I felt myself drop like a ton of bricks, I was hit somewhere near my belly button. Angel was telling Ace to help me, to which he told Elliot it was a draw. I felt hands touch my body but I couldn't make out what they were saying, it was all slurred. Then my vision went blurry, and blackness swarmed my vision.

I woke up to Angel nuzzling my cheek, it felt very nice. I opened my eyes to Angel plopping his fat ass in between my legs like usual.

"You scared us." I heard from my left side. I turned my head to find Ace sitting in a grey chair with a smile on his face.

"Do you always smile?" I asked my voice scratchy. My throat was so dry.

"Not always, I didn't smile when you were shot." He replied. Angel meowed and I groaned as a response.

"Little boy, you are a pitiful creature. You know that?" I said.

"I know." Angel replied.

"Aw, I could just cuddle you to death little boy." I cooed, I sat up to hug him but then I felt an enormous amount of pain and dizziness. I fell back with a yelp.

"Ow, ok I'm an idiot." I said scrunching my face up.

"I think you should continue to lay down ma'am." A new voice said. I looked up to find another man in a white suit and a white top hat. It had roses and who knows what on it. He had black hair that had been flared out to look spiked and had been layered. He also had blue eyes and a deep voice that made him sound like Barry White. Elliot followed close behind him with his eyes glued to the ground and his ears drooped.

"I hope you're happy Elliot, you almost killed me jack hole!" I shouted but cringed, my bullet wound not let up on the pain.

"Hey! I didn't mean to shoot you!" he yelled. He opened his mouth to say something else but Mr. Weird Hair here gave him a look. Elliot shut his mouth immediately. I snickered.

"Elliot, don't you have something to say?" Mr. Weird Hair implied.

"But Blood!" He whined. He just got a glare and he let out an over dramatic sigh." I'm swrry," he mumbled.

"What?" I said with a smirk." What was that Elliot, I didn't hear you well," I finished; I was definitely going to milk this moment.

"Yes, Elliot I didn't hear that either, say it louder," Ace said with a wider grin. We smiled at each other quickly before return out attention to Elliot. He gulped loudly before opening his mouth again to complain, which shortly stopped after Blood turned around directly to face him. Elliot's eyes widened, but he looked at me this time.

"I'm sorry for shooting you," he said. I sat in my little hospital bed, and pondered on whether or not I would forgive him.

"I forgive you Elliot, but you don't always have to be so mean towards Ace or me. We were just looking for directions," I said.

"But you don't get it; he always asks for directions and then ends up coming back here asking for them again," He explained.

"Then take him there yourself! Jesus are you always this lazy? My mom can't read a compass let alone a map. I still try and help her get to where she's going, that's why she got a Global Positioning Satellite for Christmas!" I yelled at him. He and everyone else, except Angel, looked shocked. I actually got myself to sit up with the pain signals calling rapid fire to my brain. Angel stood up and started nuzzling my arm.

"So stop being a total ass and help out!" I yelled. I fell backwards and just let out an ow. I felt Angel start nesting on my stomach, it hurt but I couldn't push him away he was too cute. I smiled and started to pet his head. He purred even louder, which I smiled.

"So, when am I getting out?" I asked looking up.

"You're getting out in 3 days." Blood answered.

"Holy crap, did I get that lucky?" I asked.

"Actually Ace deflected the bullet, but managed to hit you in the process." Blood answered.

"Well, I'm going to get out of your hair-, "Ace started to say while getting up.

"Hold it," I commanded. He stopped.

"You saved my life! You can't just walk away. I need to give you a hug first, partner!" I said.

"Partner?" He questioned.

"You're my new partner in crime! Welcome to the Awesome List," I said with a smile.

"OK!" He said.

"Come here, let me give you a hug, big guy," I said, holding my arms out. He gladly accepted the hug.

"Angel, meet our new buddy," I said," New buddy meet Angel, he's your commanding officer."

"What? He's a cat though," Elliot pointed out.

"No, he's my baby boy and I love him, so tough raspberries!" I yelled. Elliot was still confused, Blood seemed totally confused, and Ace kept on smiling. Oh, this was going to be good.

"Hey, everyone except Elliot leave the room, even you Angel," I commanded. Everyone left to my surprise, but I was going to say what needed to be said.

"Elliot, I have something very important to say to you," I said seriously, but on the inside I was laughing.

"What?" he asked his voice monotone.

"You're a tool," I said cracking up only a tiny bit," You are Blood's bitch," I said, now laughing hysterically. I heard laughter on the other side of the door much to Elliot's displeasure.

"Well, welcome to the team partner." I said holding out my hand. Elliot was horrified.

"Hell no!" he shouted," I don't want to be any stupid team of yours." I smiled, at least he could think for himself.

"Oh, well you will join eventually," I said with an eerie smile," they all join."

Elliot just stared at me even more afraid. I laughed but then I looked down at myself, I was in one of those hospital gowns, and I felt gauze around my, to my imagination, once bleeding stomach. I was calm but then, like a flash of lighting on a crappy night. I sucked in a ton of air and screamed; my palms out and my fingers bent at the second knuckle. Elliot yelped.

"What? What's wrong!" He yelled at me.

"I'm not in my normal clothes! I was, but now I'm not and who the hell did it!" I screamed, words flying out of my mouth at light speed. Elliot had a look on his face that said' is that all?' The sound of feet slamming on the floor and soon enough the door was kicked open by Blood, with Ace and two other people right behind him, Elliot screamed like a little girl.

"What happened?" Blood shouted.

"She just started screaming and starts yelling out nonsense!" Elliot yelled, point an accusative finger at me.

"Just remember Elliot," I said, glaring at him," you have 4 fingers pointing right back at you."

"I betcha he was being perverted with Onee-chan," One of the two strangers said. He, I imagine that he was a male, was wearing a Nazi looking outfit that was blue; he also had blue eyes and black hair.

"I think you're right brother," The other one said, he was dressed in a red Nazi outfit with match red eyes, he also had black hair. Which made me question whether or not Ace and the two boys were related, but I dismissed it quickly my attention being drawn to the window above me. Damn, I'm either not a good paranoid person, or I'm seriously going blind. No wait I can see things, I have my contacts in. I started freaking out again, because my contacts outside of the dream are going to roll into the depths of my skull. I whined.

"Oh mom is sooo going to kill me when I wake up," I said like the typical high school manicured, obsessed with pink bitch. I then returned my attention to the now quarreling brothers and Elliot. Ace kept on smiling, how do his cheeks not go numb, and Blood had a very bored look on his face.

"Excuse me?" I said loudly getting all of their attention," OK, since I'm now in a hospital of some sort, I need to ask, who the hell has my clothes?" I said with a glare, all of them flinched, odd. I raised my eyebrow and drummed my fingers on something metal.

"I know you all heard it now fess up all of you," I said.

"I don't know anything," Ace said.

"Neither do I," Elliot said with a blush on his face. Liar.

"I had a maid do it all right?" Blood said.

"I don't care, I want my clothes," I said crossing my arms. I wanted my shorts, and my brother's t-shirt that said," Kiss my shiny, golden ass." It had a gold Bender on it too. I pushed the covers off my legs, and swung them over so I could get out. I made sure I wasn't flashing anyone and started to walk away, my flesh wound complaining every step.

"See I'm perfectly fine," I said with a smile, which flipped upside down to a frown," Now get me my clothes or so help me I will castrate every single one of YOU! Except Ace, he's my new partner."

"Cool," Ace said with an even wider smile. Blood and co. flinched. I heard Angel run on into the now overly crowded room and he started nuzzling my leg. I picked him up and returned my gaze to everyone.

"OK, let the hunt for my clothes begin," I said," the one who finds my clothes first shall be welcomed to join the Awesome List and the dark side, we have cookies." I continued to move past them out the door and into a very well furnished hallway.

OK, I thought to myself, today we have a 85% chance of weird, with a 10% chance of getting lost, great.