Simon watched the stars, his eye tracing the patterns of constellations that would shine eternally in the dark. Kinda like me, he thought with a wry grin.

He couldn't sleep anymore. Not because vampires couldn't sleep, he could, but because he simply didn't want to. There was no cure to his boredom in sleep. That's what he truly need. A distraction. Something to take his mind off eternity, which was all that had been filling it up since Valentine's defeat. Maia had stayed in Alicante with Luke while he tried to find a proper replacement as the werewolf representative to the Clave. He spent his days with guys, as usual, but they seemed so, so- dare he say it?- mundane. There minds were always filled with such meaningless nonsense that had used to keep him entertained, but now had lost its effect. And Clary-Clary was always busy with her training, and Jace. Always Jace.

So all he had was his home's rooftop, an endless canvas of stars, and constant thoughts concerning his future circling his mind. He couldn't help but wonder, where was he going? And every time he came up with the same answer: Nowhere. Simon Lewis would be stuck as a sixteen year old for the rest of infinity. That didn't sit well with him.

He would never order a drink at a mundane bar. He would never find out if in time he would have filled out more. He would never have another growth spurt. He would have to watch as everyone he had ever loved moved forward, and he would stay in the same spot. He would have to watch his loved ones die, knowing he wouldn't. Clary, his mom, the guys, Luke, Sebastian, Maia. Hell, even Jace.

Isabelle.

A new lance of pain shot through his heart with each name he thought up. He couldn't bear the thought of having to go through that. He wished so badly that he was human once again. For the hundred thousandth time, he wondered "What if?". What if he had never gone back to Hotel Dumont? What if he had never even gone to that stupid party at Magnus Bane's? What if he had never pursued Clary when she had disappeared into the Shadowhunter world?

He would still be human. He would still feel queasy around blood instead of filled with some mad thirst that consumed his every thought if he didn't quench it.

But you wouldn't have Clary. You wouldn't have Maia. You wouldn't have Isabelle. The last name woke a mix of confusing emotions within him. He didn't know how he felt around Isabelle.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. He blinked in slight surprise even as his hand went into his pocket, and pressed the talk button. His mind still couldn't completely catch up with his body most of the time.

"Hello," he asked into the receiver, his voice breaking the silence of the night.

"Simon. It's Isabelle."

Speak of the devil. Simon winced as the saying came to mind. He hated how he could still say devil, but could barely think God.

"What's up," he asked, leaning back against the chimney.

"I-," Isabelle paused, breathing in a quick breath that sounded suspiciously wet. "Are you doing anything?"

Simon could tell from her brisk tone that she was trying to hide the pain in her voice, but after the night they had spent in Alicante, Isabelle couldn't get much past Simon.

"Not really," he replied, staring around at the empty night stretched before him. "It's almost two on Wednesday night. I don't think anybody's doing anything. Unless you count the psychos and the serial killers. But I don't like to group them with the general crowd."

Her small exasperated laugh barely managed to cover the sniffle behind it.

"Are you okay?" he asked, softening his voice. She'd hate it, but he couldn't help it. Some side of him demanded he help sniffling women. He doubted it was the vampire side.

Isabelle was quiet for a few seconds too long, and when she did speak she had mastered control over her voice. "I need a distraction," she almost purred.

A strange sort of twinge happened in the pit of Simon's stomach as she said the words. He remembered her last distraction all too clearly. Vampirism captured everything in crystal clarity. Of course they hadn't gone too far. She was upset then, and he would never take advantage of her in such a fragile state, but that wasn't saying she didn't try.

Did he want to do that again?

Yes. The voice spoke a little too loudly for his liking.

Bad idea. She's upset. She's just trying to run away from it. Simon bit his lip, torn.

But hadn't he just thought a few minutes ago that he needed a distraction himself?

"Where are you?" he found himself asking.

"The institute, but I can be at your place in twenty minutes." Her voice was eager. She was obviously pleased that he was taking her up on her offer.

"My place," Simon repeated, his eyes flicking down to the roof he was sitting on. How did she know it was empty? His Mom had gone on some tour of Italy for a week. She had asked if he wanted to come, but he had said no. He didn't really know why, just that he wanted to stay close to New York for a while. He wanted to absorb as much of it as he could before he had to leave, for the obvious reasons. Eventually someone in the city would realize he wasn't aging any.

"Is that okay?" Now she sounded slightly irritated with him. Her impatience came through loud and clear.

"Yes," he said before he could stop himself.

"Good. See you soon."

"Bye." Simon murmured even though he knew she was already gone. Numbly he closed his phone and slid it back into his pocket.

"What am I doing," he groaned, resting his suddenly tired head into his waiting hands.