A shorter update than I would have liked to get this fic going again. :)

Loom

Chapter 5

After what had happened in the woods, the convoy's arrival at the top of the mountain was disturbingly anticlimactic. Sam found himself holding his breath as the Camero rolled to a stop, only releasing it when he got out to let Bumblebee transform and found Mikaela taking his hand.

Optimus was stood with his back to them, all the attention in his tall frame directed towards a mech that few of the humans had seen. Wheeljack, though not shy, had developed a paranoia of stepping on the infinitely breakable locals through sheer absent-mindedness, and thus avoided them wherever possible. His head-fins were currently as bright as his optics as he spoke to the Prime, his hands rolling and tumbling in emphatic description.

A blast of hot air that blew the loose earth up broke the teens' stares, their hands coming to shield their eyes at the same time as Bumblebee began squawking clicks to tell Starscream to knock it off. The Seeker breezed overhead in bipedal form, hovering through the use of his pede-thrusters to make small adjustments by hand to the space bridge's crude frame. He took absolutely no notice of anything on the ground.

Ironhide came to stand over them as a physical shield, crouching to cover them despite his initial urge to simply tell Starscream to frag off. Sharp optics looked between both humans, reading their vitals against their expressions to discern their emotional states. Finally, he uttered flatly, "We'll be going up inside the hour. The Ark's still got its combat armour in place, so the 'bridge needs calibrating."

Sam nodded vaguely, his attention clearly elsewhere. "Is Optimus alright?"

The dark mech smiled a little at the blunt, unapologetic concern, though his spark also sank for the same reason. It was going to be nigh-impossible to keep Optimus from discovering that the children had learnt the truth with the way they flaunted their emotions. "He's fine, and you'd do well not to keep asking after his welfare when he is close."

"Yeah, yeah, right," Sam agreed quickly, hands coming up in the gesture of surrender-coloured apology that Ironhide often inspired. "It just that, with how he left, we thought he'd be, y'know, upset."

Glancing to the tall mech and finding him walking with Wheeljack to the far side of the 'bridge, Ironhide rumbled softly. "Perhaps, but he's in front of subordinates now. Like complaints, personal upsets are only, if ever, shown up the chain of command – never down."

Mikaela folded her arms with low shoulders, swallowing something that hurt. The last time she had been in a forest with Optimus had been a year ago, and the memory had been plaguing her since their eavesdropping in the bracken. He hadn't been himself then, either: unhindered enough from a copious amount of High Grade to ask strange, intimate questions without any kind of context. And his optics had seemed so sad and weary, fixed on her with something she now knew was a need to understand. She knew from the Autobots that he was an embodiment of their god, an onus on him that had then, suddenly, seemed crushing.

"Is that a Prime thing?" she asked quietly, looking back to Ironhide's spiralling optics.

"That's an army thing," Lennox interjected, moving around a large splayed pede to stand alongside them. Above them Ironhide straightened, though kept an audio on the humans.

Before the soldier could go on, Starscream landed dangerously close with a thud. Ignoring Ironhide's glare, the Seeker flicked a gesturing hand to the humans. "I need to scan the fleshies before they can go through the bridge."

"Humans," the soldier replied, bolstered by his guardian's presence to showing absolutely no intimidation where the Seeker was concerned. Starscream had stayed away from the Base after being repaired for Megatron's parting gift, and his sharp visage still put the majority of those he met on edge. But there was no desire to fight left in him now. Away from Megatron, he had no one to undermine or better in acts of cruelty.

To the correction Starscream sneered, then his eyes flashed in mirth before he swung an extended arm onto them as if aiming a weapon. They didn't dodge, frozen in place until the watery blue light of a scanner fell across them from the Seeker's wrist, at which Lennox rolled his eyes and the teens glared.

"There. Now, I'm fairly certain that you won't liquidate inside your flesh sacks during transit." He turned his back on them with a smirk when he was finished, returning to the controls with the data. Though he wasn't laughing aloud, it was clear that he was cackling internally.

Sam shook his head, jaw clenched. "Peace or not, I still hate him."

Ironhide grumbled a note of agreement before rising smoothly to step over their heads, crossing the dirt to Optimus. The tall mech seemed to sense his approach, excusing himself from Wheeljack and waiting in place whilst the scientist convened with Starscream at the 'bridge controls. Optimus's helm was dipped, his posture stiff and almost hesitant.

When Ironhide came to stand before him, his hydraulics sighed with weary defeat. "I'm sorry, Ironhide. I should not-"

The Prime cut himself off when the other mech held up a hand, his gaze steady. "I think there've been enough apologies for one lifetime, so let's stop it," he uttered firmly, though not unkindly. "You stop apologizing to me for hurting, and I'll stop apologizing to you for caring. It just is."

A beat as Optimus absorbed that, brushing the bond for a moment to check the assertion against the mech's mood, and he smiled a little upon finding both resolve and relief. This was a trap they'd both ensnared themselves in, too anxious about how it might be interpreted by the other to escape from. Finally he touched a hand to the dark mech's arm, conveying more complexity than words alone could through that contact and a flare in his energy field. Ironhide answered him in kind, the hard line of his mouth softening.

Regaining himself, Optimus looked past Ironhide to where the humans where making a point not to watch them. "There is still one apology that I must make," he breathed, stepping aside his sparkmate at his grunt of agreement and crossing the ground in cautious strides.

The earth was dry and shifted about his pedes when he moved to one knee, exchanging a glance with Lennox before the soldier nodded and jogged to Ironhide, leaving him alone with the teens. Forever the children, in his mind, no matter how brave or insightful they proved themselves. They were too fragile to be thought of as anything less precious and in need of protection than younglings.

He offered his hands to them silently, feeling something ease in his chassis when they climbed into his palms without hesitation. Raising them closer to his optic level, faceplate drawn back to display sincerity, he spoke from the spark. "Sam, Mikaela, I cannot apologise enough for what happened, and indeed what almost happened last night. Are you both alright?"

To his surprise they both exchanged a glance before nodding rapidly. This hadn't been what he'd expected.

It was Mikaela who spoke first, her brow drawn with concern. "We're fine. Yeah, of course, Optimus. We're just worried about you."

Before the mech could speak, Sam took Mikaela's hand and went on: "And you really don't have to apologise. I mean, it makes sense for you to have nightmares sometimes."

Optimus felt his spark pulse a cold burst, every part of him going complete still for long seconds. He wished he'd left his faceplate on, as to extend it now as he so wanted would be dangerously telling. With great control, he flicked his optics across the two humans before finally, flatly, murmuring, "Really." It was neither a question nor a statement, intended wholly to get them past this moment and for them to reveal what they suspected, or even knew.

Sam didn't miss the reaction his statement had garnered, and felt Mikaela squeeze his hand with a sidelong look of astonished horror. Clearing his throat, he forced his voice to come out almost casually assured. "Yeah. It's like, ah, PTSD, isn't it? You may be the supreme commander of the Autobots, but you're still a, uh, mech. You've still seen stuff that maybe upsets you sometimes, and I know how bad nightmares can be." He managed a short burst of laughter that sounded too strained to his ears. "I don't imagine that having us crawling around inside your cab like vermin at the time helped."

Optimus watched him intently, trying to pick apart the underlying meaning in those words. It came down to the simple fact that either Sam was telling the truth or lying to appease him. If it was the former, they had forgiven his violent transgressions that had endangered their lives with what Sam saw as a feasible explanation for his behaviour. If it was the latter, someone told them and Sam was trying to protect his feelings. Ultimately he didn't know what to say, and so simply hummed a low note in agreement to the last statement. "It was… startling."

Nodding animatedly again, Sam looked between Mikaela and the blue optics fixed on them. "But, bottom line is that you're okay and we're okay. And we don't blame you. It'd be nice if it never happened again, but we don't think it's your fault."

They can handle it. The thought in Starscream's voice came entirely unbidden, and Optimus smiled a little at the realisation. For now, he decided, it didn't matter either way what they knew or believed to know. They were unharmed, did not fear him, and were content to move on from the incident. To want anything more than that was to wallow, and he was done punishing himself.

"Thank you."

Sam smiled back, the tension dropping out of his shoulders leaving his posture relaxed. "No problem, Big Guy."

"When you're quite done playing with the local insects," Starscream's scathing tone cut in, arch with irritation reflected in his features as he stood at the spacebridge's controls. "We're ready to 'bridge. On the platform, Prime. It is your ship, after all."