-Prolouge-

...I suppose living the way I used to; away from the world and too shy to really become myself; was in its own way; my attempt at preteding that the life I lived was not mine.

my only condolence; the only light in my life; were always books.

fact books, history novels, murder mysteries... I could put myself in another person's shoes for a time, own their stories, their pasts. And I would've preferred to live among my books all my life; if it hadn't been for Uzumaki Naruto.

He is the reason I agreed to undergo rigorous training as a future konoha nin, both at school and at home.

And the person he was; outgoing, and not afraid to look beyond his own troubled past into a future that seemed so bright to him...

It made me fall in love with him. Dreamer that I was; I longed for his courage and strength. Wished he could take me with him; on the journey that was his life and goals.

If I couldn't make it; at least let me be near him; to get a taste of what it was like.

To have someone proud of you. To be someone strong, worthy of praise

But I never talked to him. Few times I did I was too shy to say anything. Even to ask for his he gave it freely and to anyone; I still wish i'd asked.

Done something out of courage, for no complete reason. Like Naruto.

I stayed in my shell; though as I got older I got a little better. Tried newer things. Hoped Naruto would notice them and say something.

But he was in love with a pink-haired beauty by name of Haruno Sakura. 'Haruno-san is the luckiest girl on earth' I used to think. Because someone like
Naruto loved her. Even though she could not see him; and saw only their other teammate Uchiha Sasuke.

When I was 13; he left the village. When he left hwe took more than Sakura's heart. Because when Sasuke left; Sakura took Naruto away.

for years Naruto trained away from home. To find the only man standing in the way of his love. Because aside from a rival; Sasuke was his best friend. It was... Just like Naruto-kun.

Put himself in needless danger for the sake of others. Even myself.

beat my cousin at the chunnin exams. And changed him. Though he could've beaten him without defending me; he didn't do so. Helped me.

And changed me; in that way.

After the chunnin exams; after getting beat by my cousin and gaining my health back; I worked hard as I could. Both in the training rooms and life itself.

I stopped stuttering. And Ino was teaching me how to wear heels. So I could walk like a lady too.

But it wasn't enough, or it was too late... I keep telling myself these things; but maybe I just never had a chance.

Sakura was a rose petal; bright and soft. She was all around beaty and brains. I was brains but I was also a wallfower. reclusive, quiet. soft; but breakable.

And to the man I so desperately loved; invisible.

When he and sakura began going out; I would sit alone in my room; and pretend Naruto was thinking of me. He was wondering what I was doing.

That winter; when I got sick; I pretended that every sneeze was another thought he'd just had of me. In the spring; when the snow melted and the time of romance once again began afresh, I would imagine Naruto was outside my window; in the Hyuuga main house. To see me. And let go of Sakura.

Every kiss they shared in front of me; I pretended not to see. Sometimes; when Sasuke was still being interrogated and processed; we would all go on missions together. And at night; I would turn my back and pretend that the people I was talking to by the fire were not shadow clones of a couple really out together and away from me.

I would sit in my tent; and fall asleep thinking- He'll go into my tent tonight. To see me. Only me.

It was just me pretending like my love was not unrequited. It wasn't enough with books; I had to tell myself these things; in order to feel better.

So maybe I didn't really change when It came to Naruto.

Seasons went and came after that; all in a blur and silent. There was nothing interesting. I became a jounin. I kept my place as heir to the Hyuuga clan.

my life was going great. It seemed so well. I'd learned to walk in heels. I'd made friends in the countries I visited on missions; and their letters kept me busy.

Naruto and Sakura were away more often on missions together. They were always seen at the Icharaku shop; "taking one last bowl before we go" Naruto could be heard saying.

I would sigh when I'd hear these words. Naruto never stayed long anymore. Sakura was pulling him away into another world; where I didn't exist anymore.

But I pretended not to mind. I'd stopped lying to myself so openly by then. But I still kept a flicker of hope within me.

That Naruto-kun would wake up one day and realize I'd always be waiting for him. That it wasn't too late to change everything. Hanabi and Neji even convinced me to confess to him once and for all.

But I stalled. A day went by. And then a week. Then he was off on missions all the time; and I didn't have time to see him anymore.

Like I said; life blurred.

Until before I knew it; it had been 7 years since the rookie nine had all become gennin. I thought; '7 years!' must be a lucky time.. I'll tell him then. I'll tell him then.' So we all went to a bar.

We had a few drinks. Toasted to old times. Remembered some of our fallen. Some of our old sensei's were there as well. Gai still wore green tights; and Kakashi still covered his face and one eye. That much hadn't changed.

I was still a bit of an outsider; still a bit shy. Ino and Sakura now argued lightly; teasingly. Naruto still saw Sasuke as a rival; and Gai still challenged Kakashi to meaningless competitions. Which got stupider as the night and drinking wore on.

Other people came as well; Neji-nii and his team; even the sand kage and his siblings; Gaara, Temari and Kankuro.

Everyone important to Naruto was there. And he announced the happiest news of his life.

... " Sakura and I are going to get married!" and half-drunk; he lifted up his new bride and kissed her. In front of everyone.

... I'm not a selfish person. I don't like to think so. But...even as I mindlessly cheered; I kept hoping it wasn't true. I was waiting for Naruto to say it was another prank. I was joking, oops,

Sakura's engagement ring was a canary yellow diamond; beautiful and expensively cut; with a flower design etched into it. the bandwas studded with smal petal shaped emeralds. It was beautiful.

Of course it was beautiful. It was Naruto's love. And it meant something I could never be.

Uzumaki Naruto's wife.

And I was nothing now. 7 years gone by; and I still lost the only thing I'd ever really fought for. Maybe Neji is right. Power of will doesn't change a thing.

Hinata.