Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Neither do you, so there!

Warning: Ménage, language, violence and smut later on. No slash or incest. OOC to a point.

Ménage

Chapter 1- Cullen 101

The Cullen brothers were an odd trio of siblings. They lived together, even in college when they'd rented a house together. They ate together, traveled together, and went just about everywhere together. There was never a time when they hadn't been close. And, despite their different personalities, their morals were the same. Their mother said they were perfect. Almost too perfect. Girls who had the misfortune to fall in love with them soon learned what it was like to be rejected by a Cullen brother. It happened a lot, much to their annoyance. They'd never agree with their mother on their so-called "perfection," but, as some would say, mother knows best.

Looking at them, you might not guess they were brothers, save for the fact that they were all above average in the looks department. In most aspects, though, the similarities stopped.

Jasper was the oldest at twenty-six. He taught history at the local highschool. His eyes were blue like his father's, he was blonde like him, too, and he also inherited the same strong jaw and lean, slightly built body. He was great at cooking, like his mother, hated football but loved baseball, and preferred cats over dogs. He had a weird obsession with the Civil War and read non-fiction the majority of the time.

Edward was the middle child. At twenty-five, he was a prodigy at the piano and taught, albeit reluctantly, at the highschool. He hated most of the kids he taught. What he really wanted was to be a full-time musician, maybe join an orchestra or compose.

His brothers sometimes teased him for his love of the piano, calling it a "girly" instrument and asking him if there was something he needed to tell them. They would never admit just how much they actually enjoyed his music.

Unlike Jasper, Edward inherited his mother's green eyes and bronze hair. He hated cooking, and used to throw tantrums when his mother made him help her in the kitchen. Sports held little interest for him, but he enjoyed playing the odd game of baseball with his brothers. He'd graduated from school early and started college the same year as Jasper. No one could ever say that the Cullens weren't a smart family.

Emmett was the youngest at almost twenty-four. He was also the biggest, both in height and bulk. No one knew where he had gotten his muscular frame from, since his mother was short and slight and his father tall and lean. His hair was curly, too, like his Grandpa Platt. Got his brown eyes, as well. He was a terrible cook, much to Esme's dismay. The man almost burned the kitchen down by trying to make eggs. Esme never let him near a frying pan again.

Emmett was definitely the one who loved sports. In school he had been on the football team and the track team. Out of the three brothers, he wasn't the smartest academically, but he still got A's and B's. Oddly enough, the subject he flourished at was science, which led to him teaching chemistry…at the local highschool.

People couldn't wrap their minds around three brothers teaching at the same school at the same time, and them being so young! And wasn't it pure torture and delight having those three in particular as teachers? It was true: grades had dropped, attention spans lowered, and puddles of drool accumulated. Well, with the girls, anyway.

Everyone was relieved to get home from work at the end of the day, even more so on Fridays. Usually on Friday nights they celebrated t he end of the week by going to a movie or a swank restaurant that Jasper picked out –because he was the big foodie and the expert on all things cuisine.

They decided to go to Temple's this time. Jasper said they had the best vegetarian dishes around and was dying to try it out. The cook in him couldn't resist. Emmett couldn't care less. He just wanted food.

"Dude, let's go! This stomach has been neglected for almost three hours. Pound the fucking pedal!"

Jasper and Edward groaned. The man couldn't go an hour without insisting that he was hungry.

"Shut up Emmet." Edward growled. He had a headache. Today had been awful.

"You okay, Eddie?" Emmett asked, sliding into the back of Jasper's truck. Emmett turned around from the passenger seat to glare at him.

"No!"

"Whoa. What's got your panties in a twist?" Emmett chuckled. Jasper got into the driver's seat and started the engine up.

"These twits in my music class were harassing me." Edward muttered, embarrassed.

Jasper and Emmett raised their eyebrows. "Harassing? Like, sexually?" Jasper asked, trying to keep the amusement out of his voice.

Edward nodded. Emmett was laughing behind him.

"Let me guess," Jasper smiled, "Tanya…Blanche…Jessica…Lauren…hmm…and Kate."

"Yes." Edward bit out. Jasper smirked. He knew he was right.

"Aw, man, I get those bitches too!' Emmett shouted. "But I give them my "Emmett frown" and they back off."

"Me too. Jasper said. "I mean they come on to me, too. Not the Emmett frown part."

Edward sighed. "God, how do you deal with it? I'm having trouble not smacking them, and you know I would never hit a girl. They just can't get it through their dumb skulls that I'm not interested. No matter how mean I am they just keep flirting and wearing those…can you even call them clothes? They look like prostitutes. I can feel my dick shrinking whenever they enter the room. And one of them took a picture of me with her phone, I know she did." Edward shuddered.

Emmett slapped him on the shoulder. "Man, have you seen our fan site? Fucking disturbing. I think it's full of STDs."

"What fan site?" Edward demanded.

"Yeah, I haven't heard of this, either. There's seriously a fan site about…us?" Jasper said.

Emmett grinned. "Yup. I googled myself. People can vote on who they think is the hottest out of all of us. I'm in the lead." Emmett clucked, proud of his achievement.

"Yeah, sure." Jasper snorted.

"Can we just shut up about this and go eat?" Edward asked, annoyed.

"Yes! Food! Are we there yet?" Emmett was giving them both a headache. How come nothing ever bothered him?

"Almost there, you ogre. You're paying." Jasper informed him. Emmett huffed.

It was late when they left the restaurant. Jasper peeled forward on the back roads, keeping a keen eye out for deer that might run across the road. His was the only vehicle on the road.

"That waitress was flirting with you, Jas." Emmett piped up. He loved discussing the flocks of females who adored them, even though they were all ignored. He found it amusing, much more than his brothers did.

"I know. She slipped me her number on a napkin. I threw it out."

"Cold, man, cold."

Suddenly a figure caught Jasper's eye up ahead. It was on the side of the road, lying still. Was it an animal? He slowed down.

"You guys see that?"

The three of them peered at the lump as Jasper parked a few feet away from it. They saw a mop of long dark hair and a curled-up body. It was a woman!

"Shit!" Jasper ran over first, quickly followed by Edward and Emmett.

He rolled the poor creature over onto her back. Her eyes were closed and her skin deathly white. "Fuck. Is she dead?"

There was blood on her chest.

"Shit. Put her in the car. We have to take her to the hospital." Edward said.

Jasper wiped her hair from her face. He gasped. She was beautiful. She was young, too, he noted. Maybe she went to their school. He carefully maneuvered her into his arms. She lay limp, dangling in his embrace.

Edward grabbed the keys. "Is she alive?"

"Yes, but she's hurt. We need to hurry."

Emmett opened the door for them, leaning over to get a look at the girl. "Damn…" he murmured, "She's…lovely." Emmett had certainly never used that word to describe a woman before.

Edward sped away, calculating in his head how long it would take to get to the hospital. He should call dad, he thought. Dad could meet them and make sure she was taken care of.

Thoughts were rushing through each of their heads. It was difficult not to panic. Time was of the essence. What happened to this girl?

A low moan startled them. The girl had awoken. Her lids fluttered open, revealing dark brown eyes. She tried to speak, but Jasper shushed her.
"It's okay, darling. We're taking you to the hospital. Everything is going to be fine."

Her eyes widened and she weakly tried propping herself up. "No…no hospital. Pl-please."

The Cullen brothers looked at each other, confused.

Then she passed out.