Sweet Valentine?

"Roses are red, violets are blue, most poems rhyme, this one doesn't." As I read the text, a smile widened across my face, followed by a small chuckle.

"What's so funny?" Carly asked, reaching over to peak at my phone. I slammed it shut, knowing already though, that it was too late and she had seen. "Oooooh, looks like someone has an admirer! Who is it from?"

"Carls, were just friends, it was a joke," I laughed at the idiocy of my best friend, making these assumptions, although secretly hoping she was right on some level.

"Yeah. Sure." She smiled, "So, come on, spill! Who is it?" I bit my lip, and hesitated for a moment. It is so easy to lie. I had been doing it for the past four years anyway. Perhaps it was time to be truthful.

No. I couldn't.

"Oh, just someone from work," I lied, saying whatever jumped into my mind. I could tell she was thinking up all the men from the café.

"Oh my god, is it Brian? It is, isn't it?" She asked excitedly. I sighed, bored of the conversation already.

"No, you don't know him. Come on, we had better get back to Spencer's, iCarly starts soon,"

"We have hours!" She said, looking at her watch in confusion.

"Well, you always say it's always better to be early!" I replied, rushing off to his apartment.

"Since when do you care about being early?" Carly laughed. I did not bother to answer, knowing she had already let it go. iCarly had been running now for almost five years. It wasn't the most popular webcast online, but it was soon getting there. However, at the age of 18, it was getting harder to find time planning each show, as all three of us had jobs. They were only part time, but we also had a lot of school work on top of that. Although Carly had moved out, we still did iCarly at Spencer's apartment. And the text? Yeah. That was from him.

As we stepped into Spencer's home, not bothering to knock, he looked up from his sculpture, with paint covering his hands and arms, looking a complete mess.

"Hey, Spence, what are you working on?" Carly asked, dropping her bag on the floor casually, as I walked towards his latest masterpiece.

"It's a great, big, hand," He replied, enunciating every word, proud of it, "And now I'm decorating it with lots of small hands!" He continued, holding up his own multicoloured pair, which explained all the artistic hand prints painted onto the massive white one. "Wanna help?" He asked, his voice slightly high pitched, hoping we would join him.

We both then rolled up our sleeves. I dunked my hand in the blue paint, slowly, letting it ooze through my fingers, when I noticed Spencer watching. I looked up at him.

"That's a wise choice of colour my friend," He said slowly, putting on some unknown accent, making me laugh. We spent a good twenty minutes randomly placing hand prints on the sculpture, having fun. The main thing I love about Spencer's work is that he does not take it seriously at all. He has fun with it, never worries too much of the outcome. I suppose that's what makes him a good artist. While others concentrate day and night, making sure it's all flawless, Spencer just lets his own enjoyment take over his work, and the product always comes out great because of that.

"Hey, I- Whoa..." I turned around towards the door where the voice was coming from. Freddie still lived across the hall with his mum, much to his annoyance. He had his laptop in his hands, getting all the technical equipment ready for iCarly. "You know what? I'm not going to even ask, I'll be upstairs" He said, rolling his eyes, but smiling all the same.

"I'll come," Carly sang, already washing her hands and then following him up.

"Your text made me laugh," I said, once they were both out of earshot, "Sorry I didn't reply," Spencer looked up from his work and smiled at me.

"Its fine, I assumed you were with Carls?"

"You were correct," I laughed, as I walked over to the sink to wash my blue hands. He did the same. As the water poured over them, there were times when his fingers would touch mine lightly, just for a second. When it happened, a warm feeling ran through my body, making me smile subconsciously.

We plonked onto the couch after that and sat in a comfortable silence for a while. I thought about our friendship. During the past few years we had texted and used instant messenger to talk all the time when we were away from each other. When I was with other people including him, we would act normal. He's my best friend's older brother. Nothing more. No one suspected a thing. When they were gone, we could have hour long talks about absolutely nothing. We knew so much about each other; it was amazing that no one knew about this. I'm not sure why we kept it a secret. I suppose people would think we were too close and, well, that really would not down well with Carly.

Although I was absolutely head over heels, crazily in love with him, we both knew nothing could ever happen. That would be stepping into the danger zone. Besides, how was I to know he liked me in that way too? Maybe he just saw this as one big secret friendship. I highly doubted it though, no matter how much I tried to keep my hopes down. We would never go an hour without some sort of contact, usually text messages. It was great. Absolutely brilliant.

"How's Joe?" Spencer asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. Joe was my stepdad. I lived with him and my mum. I wasn't fond of the guy. We did not get along at all. He didn't hurt me physically, but he knew how to wind me up, and make me storm out the house, leaving him to have more time with mum. He loved her, I was the annoying interference that he had to put up with and he would do just about anything to make me leave for good. However, over the past years he has learnt that I am rather stubborn and will stand my ground, just to piss him off.

"Ugh, his same obnoxious self," I sighed. Spence mumbled something offensive under his breath. He hated him more than I did. He then put his arm around my shoulders, and squeezed me close for a second, making me feel that little bit safer and loved. The squeeze didn't last long but he did not bother to move his arm, keeping it comfortably around my arms. I lifted my feet onto the couch and leaned into him, tired from all the arguments and drama that kept me awake for most of the night back home. I closed my eyes for a second, and felt myself dozing into unconsciousness.

"Hey, Sam," Whispered a soothing voice. Spencer. "Wake up," I forced my eyes open, squinting at the brightness. Spencer was standing over me, smiling when he saw me wake.

"What?" I said, rudely, wanting to go back to sleep without any more disturbances.

"iCarly starts in fifteen minutes, you better hurry up," I groaned and opened my eyes a little wider, finding myself sprawled out on their couch. I then rolled off it, still half asleep, and checked my watch. I had been asleep for two hours. Oops.

"Shit!" I cursed, suddenly wide awake, and ran up to my friends.

"You got anything planned for Valentine's Day tomorrow?" Mel asked me, as I poured yet another cup of coffee, hating my job more than Joe. She was next to me, cleaning the work surfaces.

"Nope." I replied, sure of my answer. "You?"

"Jordan's taking me out for a romantic dinner," She gushed, obviously excited, "What about Freddie?"

"What? Freddie?" I said, stunned.

"I thought you were going out!" She answered, surprised of her mistakenness. I stuttered for a moment, unable to speak.

"What the hell made you think that?"

"Well, have you never noticed the way he looks at you? I mean, come on. It's obvious he's in love with you!"

"But... but... Carly..." I stuttered, shocked.

"Well I may be wrong here Sam, but I always got the impression he only pretended to like her so he could follow you both around, she's much more approachable. Besides, if he did like her, it was only a small teenage crush," I thought about it for a moment, then burst out with uncontrollable laughter at the situation. I struggled to believe her, but I still found it rather funny. She too roared into laughter at my reaction. I held one hand on the worktop to keep myself up, and the other on my aching stomach. I then looked around and received some angry glares. One from my boss, the others from the table still waiting to be served. We composed ourselves quickly, and I rushed to bring the coffee over to them.

I looked at the clock on the wall. 8:15pm. I sighed, relived I only had 15 minutes left and started cleaning the surfaces with Mel, still grinning.

"Can I take a latté to go please?" A familiar voice asked. I turned quickly and saw Spencer being served by Kyle. He looked over and met my eyes and then a warm smile crept onto his face, making my insides shake slightly. I smiled back, incapable of words. He received his latté, thanked Kyle, smiled once more at me and left the café. I watched him leave, every step flawless.

"Oh god, don't tell me you fancy Carly's brother!"

"What?" I laughed, shoving Mel lightly, "Don't be stupid."

I walked down my drive, and unlocked the door to my home. As I stepped in I found my mum and Joe sprawled out on the sofa asleep with the TV blaring. I sniggered at the sight of Joes dribbling and made my way into my own room. The one place on earth I had all to myself. The one place I was gifted with privacy. Shutting the door behind me, I turned on the old, battered computer, before placing my bag on the bed and then sitting on the uneven chair. While I waited for the machine to load up, I pulled my cell out from my trouser pocket to find I had a text from Spencer.

"You on IM? x" It wasn't much, but I couldn't help grinning.

"Logging on now x" I replied.

" x" He sent.

A few minutes later, instant messenger had loaded up and I logged on quickly.

Spence: Hey sleepy x

I laughed quietly to myself, reminiscing the other day at his apartment.

Sam: Hey :P x

Spence: How are you? X

Sam: I'm ok, Joes asleep so I'll have no hassle tonight And yourself? X

Spence: Good, and if he wakes up, feel free to come over. I'm fine thanks x

Sam: Thanks

The conversation continued for hours on end, making jokes, flirting. Once we were both getting to the point where we were both falling asleep in our seats, we said our goodbyes and I went to bed with a smile on my face for the first time in weeks.

The following morning, I awoke to a text from Carly at 10:30am. I cursed under my breath, pissed off at her for waking me up so early.

"Happy Valentine's day! Meet me at Spencer's in half an hour " After a few more minutes of sleep, I dragged myself out of bed and made myself look decent enough for the outside world. I grabbed my phone and swung my bag over my shoulder before leaving the house. It was a 10 minute walk from my home to Spencer's, and when I arrived, Carly had just beaten me there.

"Spencer! Get up! Its eleven-o-clock!" I heard from his bedroom. Carly then walked out and found me reaching into his fridge as usual.

"Honestly, he's so lazy!" She complained. I chose to ignore her, knowing the real reason he was still in bed and sat on the couch with a bottle of soda, turning the TV on. Carly sat next to me, resting her head on her fist, and a few minutes later, Spencer walked out of his room in his dressing gown, yawning.

"Oh, morning Sam," He greeted, his eyes only half way open.

"Morning," I replied softly. He smiled that warm smile I love.

"How are you?" He asked, not taking his eyes off mine.

"I'm good thanks," For a moment, we both just stared into each other's eyes, while Carly watched us suspiciously, but then she rolled her eyes, thinking no more of it and said,

"Spencer, just go get dressed,"

That night, I flicked through every channel, with my head resting on my fist. Every channel was showing some soppy romance film or something of the same genre. Behind me, Carly had the phone pressed to her ear, flirting with some guy who sent her a valentine's card. She got eight of them AND a box of chocolates sent to her door that day. I got nothing. I groaned as I searched through the channels, looking for something decent to watch, while listening to her flirt constantly down the phone. She shot me a dirty look, and shushed at me to be quiet. I rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to the TV.

"Sam I need to talk to-,"

"SAM!" I jumped, shocked at the two sudden voices and stood quickly. I noticed Spencer, he had spoken first but stopped in his tracks as Freddie burst through the door and rushed towards me, with a box of expensive looking chocolates. He looked absolutely terrified.

"Will... will you go out with me?" He stuttered. My mouth dropped open. Mel was right. Looking over to Carly, I saw that she was completely stunned too, and had dropped the phone as she watched the scene unfold before her. I then looked towards Spencer. He did not seem surprised, but more hurt. I quickly brought my attention back to Freddie, unsure of what to say. He looked up at me, desperate for an answer so this would be over. It was completely silent until we all heard Spence shove something in the bin and walk out, slamming the door behind him. I watched him leave, dazed. Carly and Freddie turned to watch it too.

"Whoa... What the..." Freddie mumbled, frowning. Neither of us spoke after that for a couple of minutes. I grabbed my coat and began to go after him, but Carly grabbed my arm.

"What are you doing?" She shrieked, looking angry.

"I'm going after him, get off me," I replied, not meeting her eyes.

"NO! No you are not. What the hell is going on between you two?" I struggled, trying to set myself free, unsuccessfully.

"Nothing is going on! Well... something... but we..." I trailed off, wishing to have this conversation later and run after him now.

"Sam! Are you dating my brother? He's thirty!" Her voice got louder with every word.

"You're dating Spencer?" Freddie finally said, clueless as to what was going on.

"No I'm not! Leave me alone!"

"She is! That's why they were acting weird this morning!" Carly screamed, furious.

"GET OFF ME!" I managed to free myself, shoving her in the process. Carly swore. Freddie gasped. I threw them an angry look. Left the apartment. And ran.

I was walking down unfamiliar streets searching for Spencer but he was nowhere to be found. I had texted him numerous times and called him twice but he never answered. I had been running around like crazy looking for him for the past few hours but then slowed to catch my breath. I suddenly realised how cold it was, and goose bumps formed on my arms. Sighing, I knew I would never find him and began to walk home instead.

Stepping into the house, that smelt strongly of cigarette smoke, I was about to walk straight to my room when Joe caught my attention by calling my name.

"What?" I said coldly, whilst turning around, unwillingly.

"Where have you been? It's eleven pm!" He was raising his voice with each word, picking an argument.

"Why do you care?" I asked bored, not really expecting an answer and began to continue towards my room. He then grabbed my tightly by my shoulder and spun my body around to face him. His face was so close to mine, making me feel uncomfortable, but I kept my position stubbornly. His breath stunk of smoke and alcohol, it was disgusting.

"You were out with that Fred guy weren't you?" He snapped.

"What? No!" I yelled, truthfully.

"Don't lie to me! You have been out all night! I'm not stupid!" His face got redder and redder. He tugged on my hair and swore at me, spitting on my face. I elbowed him in the ribs and freed myself, and rushed to my room, not bothering to assure him I hadn't been with Freddie. I slammed the door shut. I knew as long as I stayed in this room, he wouldn't bother me. I shrugged out of my clothes and pulled on some old pyjamas that only covered half my body. Making a note to buy some more PJs, I got into bed, and fell into unconsciousness.

As soon as I awoke, I checked my messages, but, unsurprisingly, had received none during the night. I pulled back my hair with my fingers, forcing the curls to leave my face and sighed. I got out of bed and walked to the bathroom, to wash my face. I hurried as I brushed my teeth and then pulled on some clothes, wanting to find Spence as soon as possible. The TV in the living room was blaring as usual and I found Joe asleep on the sofa, about six empty lager bottles surrounding him, and one half full in his hand. I looked at him in disgust for a moment, wondering what my mum saw in him.

I then hurried out of the house, not bothering with breakfast and ran to Spencer's apartment, wondering if Carly was there. I received a few strange looks on the way but arrived quick, thankfully.

Before entering his apartment, I stood still for a moment to catch my breath and debated with myself whether to knock or just go in. Eventually, I brought my hand to the door and knocked twice, but no one answered. Worry built up inside me again, and I tried the door handle. It was unlocked. I cautiously opened it wider and walked in. Nobody there. I checked upstairs, the icarly studio. Empty. Carly's old room. Deserted. I hesitated before checking Spencer's room. What if he was in there and thought I was acting weird, walking in on him, most likely in his sleep?

I swallowed, turned the handle and peeped inside. For a moment I was confused. I could see Spencer, sleeping peacefully. But what was that next him? A girl? I gasped and covered my hand with my mouth. My eyes then drifted towards the empty bottles of vodka and beer, and anger entered my body, flowing through my blood stream. I couldn't believe he had done this.

"Spencer!" I yelled, unsure of what to say next. He half opened one eye and groaned, before falling back to sleep. I stormed out the room, slamming the door behind me and burst into uncontrollable tears. How could he do this to me? Walking over to the bin, I found a bunch of roses, held together by a piece of red ribbon and a card. It was addressed to me... from him. More tears forced themselves from my eyes, although I tried to wipe them away as quick as possible. Spencer then slowly walked out of his room, wearing just a dressing gown and his hair a mess.

"Why did you slam-," He started but then took a better look me, "Have you been crying?" I didn't answer. My blotchy cheeks and mascara smudges did that for me.

"How could you do this to me Spence?" I asked, my voice a whisper.

"Oh... her?" He pointed towards his room, "Well I needed some date for valentines," He tried to laugh, but when he noticed me standing there about to cry again, he quickly became serious.

"And why wouldn't you answer my calls? Or texts? I was really worried about you," I continued my rant and he let out a long sigh.

"Ok, I'm sorry about that but I was having a rough night!"

"That's not good enough! Do you realise I spent hours running around in the freezing cold looking for you last night? The least you could have done is called to let us know you were ok!" I was getting louder and louder.

"You spent hours looking for me?" He asked, softly.

"Yes I did," I replied, my voice calming down a little.

"What about Carly? And Freddie?"

"No. Just me. And then you got drunk and brought home some random girl even though you have feelings for me?"

"How do you know I have feelings for- Hey! She's not some random girl!"

"Oh really? What's her name?" I asked, folding my arms.

"Its, uh..." He struggled, trying his hardest to come up with it. I decided to interrupt his thinking.

"I can't believe you did this to be Spence! It's so obvious! Have you not even figured it out yet? I'm completely in love with you!"

"You're what?"...Not THAT obvious then. I blushed, wishing I could go back in time and erase that sentence, "Well what about Freddie? He bought you them expensive chocolates, you must be smitten," He said coldly, a tone of sarcasm in his voice. It was clear he was getting pissed off now.

"Freddie?" I shrieked, "What the hell? Just 'cos he bought me some candy, you think I would instantly fall for him? You're such an idiot!"

"You know what? I don't want to argue. Just get out of my apartment," He spoke, continuing the cold tone in his voice. I was about to retaliate, but stormed out instead as he shot me an angry look. I was angry. Frustrated. Fuming. Just like I did on the way there, I ran all the way back home.

As soon as I got there, I rushed to my bedroom and did not even have to think before reaching on top of the old wardrobe, standing on my toes, arms stretched above me. I pulled down my suitcase once I had grasped it and wiped some of the dust away. Placing it on the bed, I opened it fully, then stuffed it with clothes, my toothbrush and a few other items I needed.

However, only half packed, I collapsed onto the floor, tears streaming down my face. I fell into hysterics. Holding my head in my hands, I let the water pour from my eyes. Only then, did I feel so alone. Before, if I had an argument with Carly or had another fight with Joe, it would be Spencer I'd fall back on. He was always there. I never thought he would leave me too. After a few more minutes, I wiped my face with my sleeve and carried on packing.

Mum, I'm going to dads for a while. I love you, Sam x

Placing the note on the kitchen counter by the door, I took one last look at my "home" and then stepped out into the cold air. The bus stop was nearby. Trailing my suitcase along with one hand, I used the other to get my purse out from my shoulder bag, whilst walking quickly. Once I was there, I pulled some money out and placed the purse back into my bag and waited impatiently for the bus to arrive. No one else was waiting. I was alone. Again.

I checked my watch every few minutes. The bus should have arrived a few minutes ago. I thought about what I was going to say to my dad when I arrived at his doorstep. I hadn't called him. I didn't even know his number and I hadn't seen him in seven years. What else could I do though? He was all I had left.

"Sam!" I spun my head around to find Spencer running breathlessly toward me. At that same time, the bus that would take me to my father's arrived, "I'm sorry!" He yelled, stopping and placing his hands on his thighs, catching his breath. I realised I had to pick between him, and a new life with my dad. I fought back tears as I watched him jogging again towards me.

"Miss? Are you getting on the bus?" The driver asked politely.

"I...," I started, watching the space between me and Spencer close. I had to be quick. Hesitating beforehand, I made my decision.

5 Years Later.

The cheerful Christmas music could be heard everywhere in the apartment. In the living room stood a large Christmas tree, decorated with tinsel and baubles. I happily celebrated, giving and receiving gifts, attempting to cook Christmas dinner. It was fun. I walked up to my fiancé, and ruffled his brown hair. He gave me a quick kiss and then picked up a present, handing it to me.

"This was sent to you. I don't know who from. It came yesterday," It was a box, about the size to fit a snow globe. The wrapping paper was mainly red, with a few spots of yellow. I did not open it straight away. At first I thought about who it could be from. It couldn't be Carly or Freddie; I had already opened their gifts. My mum would never think to get me anything, and vice-versa. Happiness and excitement built up inside of me as I thought about Spencer. It is likely he would get me something. It shouldn't be a big deal. But it was. We didn't talk anymore; I stopped replying to his texts and did not have enough money to buy a new computer. However, I still had so many feelings for him, even after 5 years, and 3 of them with Sean. I shouldn't feel this way. I often lost hours of sleep debating with myself whether it was the right thing to get on that bus, and sometimes I even considered going back to him. But then I look at Sean, and suddenly, I remember how happy he makes me. There's no secrets, no complications, and he makes me feel great. I'm completely happy with him and our wedding was in three months.

I ripped off the paper and opened the cardboard box. Inside was a life sized white hand, with dots of paint scattered across it. It was a miniature version of Spencer's large sculpture we had all helped with.

"That's an... odd... thing..." Sean commented. I smiled and then look on the bottom of it to find writing, written in gold. I read it, and a sea of emotions rushed over me. Joy. Sadness. Guilt. Love. Missing. My smile didn't fade and I placed the hand on a shelf as I thought about those two words, painted on the bottom, and promised myself to obey them.

"Never Forget x" It said.

A/N Started this on Valentine's Day, just decided to finish it. x) . I know it gets a bit mushy and soppy in some places, and I'm sorry about that :')

Pleeeease review, 'cos it'll make me happy x)

xx