Author's Note: I'm not sure what exactly this is. Just thoughts of mine, I suppose. Short beyond compare, but that's okay. And it's sort of weird, and I know not everyone's into this, but try it. I love dialogue. =)

Oneshot. Angst. Nick/Ellis.

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em.

Acknowledgements: Thanks to both Amanda and Sean for reading this.

Summary: "Ellis, is now the best time?"

Today Ain't The Day

"Did … did I ever tell you that I –"

"Ellis, why is it that right as I'm about to drop off to sleep, you have to say something? Now isn't the best time. Seriously."

The silence in the pitch-black safe house takes on a different tone – a hurt one.

"Y'know what, Nick? I might fuckin' die out there tomorrow."

A slight rustle of fabric, an exhalation interrupts the stillness.

"Yeah, so? We all might die tomorrow, Ellis. That's just the way it is."

"Then why … don' I ever get t'finish one of my God damn stories?"

"Because you always start them right as we're about to leave the safe house. We have better stuff to concentrate on than what Keith shoved up his ass by accident, or whatever the hell you try to tell us each day."

"Then what 'bout now, Nick."

An extended pause.

"I was nearly asleep."

"It's always 'bout you guys, ain't it …"

"Ellis, don't be like that. You know that's not true, man. Don't be melodramatic."

"I don' even know what tha' means, but I don' give a shit. It's true. You know it, I know it, every God damn person here knows it."

The sound of someone rubbing their temple, as if in weariness.

"You're lucky Rochelle and Coach are in a different room, otherwise your voice would've woken them up by now."

Nothing.

Minutes pass.

"Ellis?"

"Fuck you, Nick."

"What did I do? You're the one freakin' out because I want to sleep. Not all of us are insomniacs like you."

"Jus' shut up. Go to sleep, if tha's what you want so bad."

A sigh, like the wind whispering in through the crack between a window and the frame on an autumn evening.

"What did you want to tell me, Ellis? I'm listening."

The silence spreads beyond reckoning, stretching out its stifling fingers into every corner of the small room.

"Ellis … come on. You woke me up anyways. Might as well tell me what you were going to in the first place. Don't leave me in suspense."

A misplaced laugh that falls on deaf ears.

"Go back to bed, Nick."

"Whatever."

Within the seconds between heartbeats, in a rush –

"Nick, I realized somethin'. Tha' it'll never be the best time. It's never a good time anymore. So why fuckin' bother tryin' to say somethin' if no one's willin' to listen. Fuck you. Fuck Rochelle. Fuck Coach."

If pain had a sound …

"Ellis … come on, please tell me."

Silence.

– as if the world knew, as if God was trying to make a point, Ellis didn't survive the next day. And Nick never forgot.