10 Years Later

"Mommy! Mommy! Watch me, watch me!"

"Mommy, where's my juice?"

"Mom, Caleb is poking me again!"

I took a long, deep breath before turning my head to the back of the van. "Caleb Henry, if you don't stop poking your sister right this instant, I swear I'll chop that hand clean off!"

As I turned back around to face the road, I felt Puck's eyes on me. "Watch the road," I mumbled.

"Brina, are you okay? We don't have to do this. I know it hurts you," said Puck, glancing away from the road to give me a small smirk. I twirled my wedding ring around my finger, an action that had proven to make me feel better in stressful situations.

"You say that every year, Puck. But I have to do this. Whether I'm by myself or bringing along 4 brats, I have to see her."

"Mommmm," shouted Daphne from the seat behind me. "I heard that! I'm no brat. Charlotte's the one that causes the most havoc in this household."

I smiled to myself. "Daph, where did you even learn the word havoc?"

Before I could get a response, a small voice spoke up. "Mommy, I not a brat."

"I know, Charlotte. You're mommy's baby!" I said, turning around to glance at the always-happy 4 year old.

"What about me?" piped Caleb. He and Charlotte were born only 6 minutes apart, but they couldn't be more different.

"Caleb, Mommy doesn't love you. Mommy loves me mostest!" shouted Charlotte, waving her small fist in the air. " Right, Mommy?"

I pressed my fingers to my temples, rubbing hard. I gave Puck a pleading look. "Some back-up would be appreciated."

"I'm trying to drive, Sabrina!"

I gave him a long stare.

"Oh, fine. Uh, kids, Mom loves you all equally. Stop fighting. We're almost there to see Auntie Daphne."

"Daphne is right there, Daddy!" cried Charlotte, pointing at her older sister.

Daphne rolled her eyes. "Not me, dummy. Mom's sister who died."

"Daph, don't call your sister a dummy. And don't be so cynical," I mumbled, ready to get the car ride over with.

"Um, mom? Baby Jack just barfed everywhere."

I groaned. "Pull over, Puck. I think I'm going to puke, too."

It was like this every year. The days leading up to this were always the worst of the year. It wasn't bad the first few years. When I still lived with Granny in Ferryport Landing, just me and Puck raising Daphne with Granny's help and support. I'd take the day off from college, and we'd drive to her grave and have a picnic. It wasn't the only time I'd visit her grave all year, but it was the anniversary of her death. I had to go.

Daph didn't mind it the first few years. She was still a toddler, not even realizing it was her birthday. Of course, we celebrated, but the mood was always heavy and tense. As she got older, she started realizing that her birthday was not the same as the other kids'. But she was always a good sport about it. I always felt sad that I couldn't celebrate her actual birthday in the way she wanted me to.

The year Daph turned 6, Puck and I got married, the twins were born, and Granny passed away. Puck and I had moved to New York the year before, where I had gotten a job as a pediatric nurse. We were married in a small ceremony at Central Park, surrounded by our closest friends and family. I realized I was pregnant again on the first day of my new job as a nurse, causing me to be giddy all day and nearly knock over a tray of medical supplies. When I told Puck later that night, we thought that we were ready this time. Little did we know we were wrong; we were ready for one baby, not two.

The birth of the twins came one week before Granny's death. She had gotten breast cancer 2 years prior, and much to all our dismay, opted out on chemotherapy. She claimed that she was old already and would go out soon, and she didn't want to spend her final days in a hospital. It gave us time to prepare to say goodbye, but it didn't stop the pain from coming when she did. My last greatest memory of her was her cradling Charlotte and Caleb in both arms, smiling despite her pain. She wouldn't stop talking about how much they looked like me. She passed away 3 days later, leaving her house and belongings to Red, who had just become a school teacher at Ferryport Landing Elementary.

That year's picnic by Daphne's grave turned into a funeral, where we buried Granny in the plot next to my sister. The twins, only 2 weeks old, refused to stop crying at the ceremony, and had to be taken out by Puck. I looked over at my Daphne, her hair braided in two pigtails like it always was on this day. I saw my sister in her more than any of my other children, especially the way she smiled. My oldest daughter never got to know Auntie Daphne, but I knew she could feel the pain that was there when I lost her, and I know she felt it, too.

The next few visits were hectic. We lived far, the twins caused chaos, and we had almost no money. But even though I wanted to just quit the whole trip and stay in bed, I knew I had to go. We'd drive to Ferryport Landing and the entire trip there would be an utter mess. The twins were too young to understand where we were going and why, so despite the efforts of Puck and I, they refused to behave. We must've stopped nearly 10 times on the way to visit. I was a wreck when we finally arrived, but the second I saw her gravestone, adorned with fresh flowers from anonymous townspeople, I knew that I'd never be able to miss a visit.

And then, to make life even more crazy, along came Jack. We were just starting to get back on our feet after a long period of economic crisis when I knew I was pregnant again. Thankfully, only one baby this time. Jack was born only 5 months ago, 2 months earlier than his due date. He spent 3 weeks in the ICU, his tiny body covered in wires and monitors. They doctors assured us he would be okay and that he just needed to fully develop, but those 3 weeks were the scariest of my life. I knew I'd become the way I was after Daphne died if I lost him, and I didn't know if I'd be able to climb back out of my depression again. Puck was always by my side, but with 3 kids already at home, he often had to leave to take care of them. I'd never wanted Granny's help more in my life.

And then here we are today. Taking my 10th trip to see my little sister, who had died too soon. It was getting easier every year, but I missed her more than anything every day. But I see her presence everywhere. I wish she was still here, to meet her nieces and nephews, to get married, have her own children, and live her life how it should have been lived. But that was never going to happen, and the least I could do was remember her and have my children know that she would have loved them.

"Okay, everybody out!" Puck slid the door of our minivan open, beginning to unbuckle tiny Jack. I remained seated in the passenger's seat, mentally preparing myself for the day and all it would bring. I watched Charlotte and Caleb beginning to climb the hill that would lead to the two graves under the big oak tree, followed by Puck, with the baby in one arm and a picnic basket in the other.

"Mom?"

I jumped at the voice coming from behind me. "Daph? Is that you? Why didn't you go with your siblings and your dad?"

I watched as Daphne climbed up into the driver's seat next to me. "Because you looked sad. And I know that this day is hard for you. Plus, the babies were being annoying again and I know that drives you nuts-o."

"I'm okay, honey," I said, laughing. "I just like to take my time. Your aunt meant a lot to me and I miss her so much."

Daphne looked down at her hands. "I wish I could've met her."

"I wish you could have, too. She loved you so much already, when you were in my tummy. That's why you have her name. Because I wanted you to always remember that she loved you. She loved all of us."

"Even the babies? She never even met them, though."

"She still loves them. It's...hard to explain. But I know she loves us all," I said, reaching over and fixing one of her braids. "Come on, let's go. First one up the hill wins!"

She squealed and darted out of the car, me on her heels. "I'm gonna win!" she yelled, a small pair of pink wings emerging from her back.

"No fair!" I yelled back. "You can't use your wings!"

I lost the race. But when I finally made it to the top and was greeted by 5 smiling faces, I realized that even though I lost my sister, it didn't mean I had lost her. I saw her in Daph's grin. I saw her in Charlotte's eyes. I saw her in Caleb's laugh. She was everywhere. I watched my children gather around her headstone and place down flowers they had found in the surrounding meadow. I saw Puck open his bag of marshmallows and spill them all over her plot, a tradition that he did every year. And I knew that even though she wasn't here anymore, she was still here. She was still my sister and she was still the aunt to my children. And nothing would ever change that.

The End.

Holy cow! I thought I'd never see the day when this story would finally come to an end. It's been 4 and a half years since I've started this story, and now, 2 kids and 500 reviews later, it's finally over!

Hopefully this was an epilogue to be happy with. I tried to use my experiences with grief to write this chapter the best I could, and hopefully it shows. Thank you to everyone who has always been there and continued to read this story even when I didn't update for a loooooonnngggg time.

Also, I rewrote the first 8 chapters of this story because they were baaaaddddd. So if you ever want to read through those new and improved chapters, then tell me what you think! I tried to make this story a little less OOC (but let's face it, it could never not be OOC).

Thank you all for reading! May your life be happy and swell!

Roxanne