I had the best time writing this! I hope you all enjoy!

Disclaimer: Arthur, Eames and Inception all belong to the wonderful Mr. Nolan, not me. If they did, this would be happening a lot. :) Also, this is not stolen. I've posted it on my LJ, too.

"You're a nutter," Eames says, staring at Arthur with his mouth open. "Honestly, I'll never understand how you've managed to live this long, living like that."

Arthur laughs. "Does it bother you, Mr. Eames?" Arthur perseveres in his task and Eames groans, closing his eyes. He leans back in his chair as Arthur continues, sliding the last bit into his mouth.

"You're unholy," he moans. When he's finished, Arthur leans back and cocks a smirk at him, licking his fingers.

"Am I now?" he asks, his tongue flicking up to remove the drop of white from the corner of his mouth. "And what makes you say that?"

"You go too slow," the forger says, eyes half-lidded as he regards Arthur with disapproval. "You'll never get any satisfaction that way, darling."

"So, you'd rather I slid it in whole, instead of bit by bit? You're rather picky, Eames. And anyway, I find this quite satisfying." He grins, and Eames swears it's like staring at the devil. He shakes his head and stands slowly from his chair.

He places a hand on Arthur's chest and pushes the man so he is flush against the back of the chair he'd returned to. Then, he leans in and mouths against Arthur's ear, "Let me educate you, Arthur, darling. This is how a real man does it."

Arthur rolls his eyes.

Eames bends down a bit more and tugs, revealing his prize. He lifts it out gently and smugly smiles up at Arthur. "Are you ready, darling? Watch closely." Then he puts the whole thing into his mouth.

"Oh, for the love of God," Arthur whispers, and lays a hand on his face. It is over quickly, but Eames stays where he is and smirks before leaning back for another go. "Eames, stop. Just stop and listen to me." Eames pauses, and regards Arthur with the look of a man who knows he's won.

"Yes, love? Is there something you want to say to me?"

"Actually, yes," Arthur says, pushing Eames away and smoothing everything closed again. "I want to tell you that you're wrong. If you do it all at once, it's over too quickly. ...Especially with you. But if you do it my way, you can enjoy it for a very long time."

"What do you mean, 'especially with me?" Eames asks, affronted. "Cobb, you tell him. Tell him that I'm right. I know how you do it, and you agree with me."

Cobb pinches the bridge of his nose, but doesn't look over at them. "Look, it's bad enough that you're doing this at work, but for God's sake, will you not bring me into it?"

"What did you mean?" Eames asks Arthur again, and Arthur lets out an exasperatedly fond chuckle.

"All I'm saying is that I'm surprised you haven't choked yet. Now, come here. It's all over your face." Arthur pulls out his handkerchief and beckons Eames forward. "I still don't know how you manage to be this messy," he sighs.

Eames laughs as Arthur wipes his mouth, though he's perfectly capable of doing it himself. "Oh, darling. The mess is how you know it's been enjoyed!"

Cobb slams his hands down on his desk and spins in his chair to face them. "All right, stop. It's bad enough that you bicker all the time. I put up with your bitching, your snide comments, hell, even your fucking moony eyes at each other across the room, but this is too much."

Arthur and Eames are staring at him.

"Finish up, and get back to work," Cobb says. "I'm sick of this. Why can't you two just eat Oreos like normal people?"

Arthur has the decency to look slightly ashamed, but Eames just laughs and downs the rest of his milk. "Yes, mum," he says, and turns back to his report.

So, yeah, Oreos. How many of you did I fool? XD

One note: the smoothing closed was the sticky-top of the Oreos package. :)

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