I have been coming up with very strange pairings recently.
T! M! N! T! Does not belong to me!
Renet was a blue blur as she darted around the room, dusting. She was a Timestress, yet she always finished her day dusting. Then what did she do afterwards? Nothing. She just waited for the next day to arrive.
Being immortal was a pain in the butt.
She was holding a vase, wondering whether it existed just so she could dust it, when a loud voice boomed, "Renet!"
She dropped it, jumping out of her skin. She stared down at the vase's remains, a curious expression on her face.
"I have a job for you," Lord Simultaneous said loudly.
Renet remained silent, still looking at the floor. If she ignored him, then maybe it would turn out he was talking to someone else.
"RENET!"
She turned to him, wincing and covering her ears. "Turn it down, Si-dude."
"Remember, you are speaking to your superior," he replied haughtily. "Now listen carefully. I need you to check on the sand timers."
"Sand timers?" she repeated.
"The ones that tell you how long you have to live," he snapped. "It's a wonder you still have that empty head of yours."
She blinked, looking slightly hurt. "Just checking, dude. I meant nothing by it. Geez..."
"You will address me formally!" he boomed, growing more agitated by the minute. "I'm sick of seeing you dust and break my things. A chimp could do it better than you."
'You do it then,' she thought grumpily, but she hadn't the nerve to say it out loud. Worried he would read her mind, as he sometimes seemed to do, she forced herself to cheer up considerably. "Sorry du-" she stopped herself, "- sir. I haven't got my head on tight, sir." Then, she added another 'sir' for good measure.
"Yes, well," his voice softened ever so slightly, "get, you. And don't touch anything while you're there."
She didn't need to put on an act now. Smiling brightly, she flung her feather duster to the side and ran out of the room. It knocked over a bookcase, which in turn knocked over another, setting off a domino effect. She ignored the yells and moans behind her, for it was not her problem down this corridor. She had another goal to accomplish.
'No more cleaning for me,' she thought gleefully. 'It's time to...'
She sighed as the truth dawned onto her. It was time to do more work.
She found the room she needed to go into and entered. The magnificence of the grand room had faded with every visit. The carpet, that's harsh redness used to scald her eyes, had become worn and dull. The shelves that had towered over her long ago, teasing her with its potential imbalance, had evolved into safe and predictable patterns on the wallpaper. And the many sparkling sand timers, which were lined up, shoulder to shoulder, had lost their enchanting glimmer of life and death and were lucky to receive a second glance.
She marched down the aisles, letting rip her yawns. Nothing was broken. Nothing was missing. Everything was good, typical and boring.
Having an infinite amount of time on her hands, she quickly found the sand timers she was interested in.
Four of them stood in front of her. She pursued her lips as she approached, her eyes large. Granted, she could visit their owners at any point during their lives, but meeting before certain things occurred and particular encounters took place confused her and she feared she would reveal something they should discover themselves. Still, despite these concerns, she sometimes looked into their future to make sure they were okay. Or was it would be okay?
Time made her head hurt.
She carefully picked one of them up and said clearly, "2010."
The grains of sand glowed. A fair few of them floated into the top half of the timer. She squinted, shaking it slightly.
It shifted and fell out of her hands. Shrieking, she dropped to her knees and caught it at the last moment. Her face white and her heart threatening to break out of her blue leotard, she hastily returned the sand timer to it's proper place, upside down. This time, she noticed straight away and put it the right way up. Last time had been one heck of a day.
"Good, a few decades," she mumbled. She walked away from them, knowing she would never forgive herself if she ever broke any of them.
She didn't have many friends. Her job didn't exactly help her social life. It was luck that enabled her to meet the turtles in the first place. She had an awesome job and all, but it did get rather lonely. It looked like she was destined to go through time with only her boss for company.
How sad.
She couldn't be bothered to check any of the other sand timers and started to leave; however, she stopped in her tracks when she caught sight of something she had never noticed before.
The fact that it was a sand timer wasn't what had perked her interest. She lifted it carefully, examining the sand contained inside of it and wondering what the heck was going on.
The large collection of sand at the top didn't seem to be falling, and there were only a few grains at the bottom.
She checked the label on the shelf it had been resting on. Yep, definitely from Earth.
Renet was completely baffled. No one on Earth, no one normal ever lived that long.
"2010."
The sand remained motionless.
Her mouth flung open. Giddy, she checked the name.
John Bishop.
She giggled at the name, snorting. Shutting up and making sure she was alone, she relented to her curiosity and held up the Time Scepter. Lord Simultaneous wouldn't mind if she left for a tiny bit. She just wanted to see who this John guy was and maybe see if he wanted to be friends. He must have been lonely, watching everyone he got to know die.
In a flash, she appeared in a dimly lit room. She shook the Time Scepter and the top of it began to glow, widening her range of sight.
She was in a creepy looking lab. There were jars with yucky stuff in them perched precariously on closed cabinets, which bore detailed diagrams of the anatomy of... something on the front. There were lean metal instruments coming out of bamboozling, complicated machines that emitted various lights and beeps. A piercing white light, which was on the far side of the room, highlighted the black silhouette of a tall man.
He turned around, watching Renet with the expression a trapped rabbit might have with an additional hint of anger.
She froze, unmoving as he walked towards her. His footsteps were short and sharp, squeaking on the well polished floor.
"Who are you?" he asked curtly. "How did you get past security?"
Renet realized he was pointing a laser gun at her.
"Answer me!"
"Whoa, chill!" She reached out and pushed the gun's barrel downwards, so the muzzle was pointing at the ground. "You could hurt someone."
He was stronger than her and pointed it at her once more. His temple throbbed as he spat, "Tell me who you are, now!"
"You're forgetting a-" She ducked, feeling something hot shoot over her head. Smoke was coming out of the end of the man's gun. "Please! You forgot to say please! Were you like, raised in a barn?"
"Tell me who you work for."
"Lord Simultaneous!" she shouted. "I'm a Timestress!"
This caught him off guard, but he did his best to conceal this. He raised an eyebrow. "Timestress?"
"Yeah," she said, dismissing what had just happened and showing him the Time Scepter. She would rather be friends with someone as opposed to enemies, especially when said person had a laser gun. "It lets me travel in time. It's totally awesome."
"How does it work?" he asked. His eyes, which were hidden behind a pair of black sunglasses, shone with greed and lust.
"I just think about a time and place and it takes me there," she explained. "It takes lots of practice and training and time."
He frowned more heavily, disappointed. He looked at her properly.
Renet was wearing a tight blue leotard, which had given her a wedgie at the back, and she was picking at it self-consciously. On her head was a peculiar hat of the same colour that had glass arrows sticking out of it. Her well-toned legs were obscured by long blue boots, and her bare arms bore only a blue strap, that were located on each of her wrists. He forced himself to look at her face.
She was smiling faintly, her pointed pink tongue licking her luscious scarlet lips nervously. Obviously, she was anxious. And anxiety, to him, was a sign of weakness.
He opened his mouth, a plan to prevent his enemies from ever existing in his mind, when she began looking around the room.
"You're John, right? Why is your last name a chess piece? I saw your sand timer that tells you how long you'll live for and was all, 'wow, you're gonna be old!' Oops, shouldn't have said that." She blushed. "Anyway, so I was really curious, because it's like, totally weird. You're a human, well, you look like one. I look like one too but I'll live forever and I'm special. Long story. How come you live for ages? This place is really creepy. You should turn the lights on. No wonder you wear glasses... oh! They're sunglasses. Why are you wearing them in the dark? That's like, weird. Ew! What's on that table? It looks like a plortox. Why are you cutting a plortox open? That's gross, and I've seen lots of gross-"
"Do you ever shut up?" he interrupted angrily.
Renet blinked, lowering her eyes and staring at her feet. "Sorry."
There was something really frightening about him. He had short black hair and a long black jacket that ended at the top of his boots. The only thing not black about him was his dull skin and his white shirt. He looked like the principal from Hell.
He glared at her for a few moments. "I am John Bishop, yes. What is your name?"
"Renet!" She beamed before attempting to look serious.
"I still don't understand why you are here."
"I... just wanted to meet you. I thought... what with you living for ages... we could be friends."
"Friends?" he scoffed.
"Yeah, but it looks like I shouldn't have bothered," she said. "Sorry for like, wasting your time and stuff."
She held up the Time Scepter, making to leave, when Bishop spoke once more.
"How long will I live for?"
She paused, staring at him. Slowly, she lowered the Time Scepter.
"Ages."
"Be more specific."
"Centuries, maybe."
Bishop considered this, his eyes on the Time Scepter.
"How long have you got... Renet?"
She shrugged. "Forever, probably. I dunno. I'm not allowed to know about my own future. It's the rules."
Bishop adjusted his sunglasses.
"I am quite busy at this point in time. We should become acquainted... ah, formally. Join me tomorrow in New York for dinner. There is a restaurant called 'Delmonicos' where we can discuss things in more... detail."
Her eyes lit up. "Ooh, sounds dead posh. I'll be there at six, all right?"
He nodded, turning away. Out of the corner of his eye, there was a flash. He glanced over his shoulder, and seeing that she was gone, chuckled darkly.
She wouldn't know what hit her.
TMNTNMT
Somehow, Renet was late.
For a woman who could travel in time, this was remarkable.
He peered down at his watch once more. He hadn't made much of an effort, wearing his trademark outfit. His colleague, Baxter Stockman, had been incredibly interested in why the Agent was going to New York on such short notice... and alone. Bishop had told him coldly that he should mind his own business.
Quickly, he went over his scheme. He would gain her trust and persuade her to use this Time Scepter of hers for his own needs. He would be unstoppable.
As the minutes rolled by, he began to worry. Had she realized his intentions and stood him up? Had he been so obvious? Had-?
"I'm here!" Renet's voice suddenly cried out from behind him. One of his eyes twitched when he heard her stumble. Sighing, he looked over his shoulder and froze.
She wasn't wearing that ridiculous piece of headgear from earlier, and her long, billowing, blond hair danced behind her. Her dress was sapphire blue, tight and low cut, emphasizing her perfect hourglass shape. Her never-ending legs teased him from beneath the blue material, peeking at him cheekily through a long slit. She wobbled in her high heels as she headed towards him, oblivious to the leering husbands and jealous wives surrounding her, for her eyes were only for one man.
Her eyes... they were the purest blue he had ever seen. He wasn't sure if they were natural or fake. They stood out against her pale skin, which looked as smooth as marble.
"Hi John!" she said. "Wow, you look rad!"
Bishop didn't say anything.
"I didn't want to wait in case you didn't like, come, so I came late. Let's go eat!"
Bishop didn't move.
Renet pouted. "Aw, are you embarrassed? Sorry, I've been snacking on cheese puffs recently. They're so addicting."
"Not... not at all," he told her, coughing. "Let's go inside."
She had caught him off-guard with her... body. He hadn't been prepared for that. At the end of their meal, he arranged for them to meet again. He would make her use the Time Scepter then.
TMNTNMT
The next time, she manipulated him with her soppy smile and forever batting eyelids, and he was forced to talk about himself. Then, she talked about herself and all her crazy adventures. He flinched when she mentioned the turtles, but even those tales captured his interest. It was rare, meeting someone with a greater knowledge of life than him.
Furious he had been distracted, he decided to ask her about it the next time.
TMNTNMT
The next time, they went to see a movie of her choice. Just so she would be more willing to comply with his demands. She asked him to buy popcorn, as she couldn't find her purse, and he did so. To improve her mood.
Partway through the movie, when her guard was sure to be down, he had been about to tell her to use the Time Scepter. Really. But she had pretended to be scared of a badly animated dinosaur on the screen and had grabbed his arm, nearly spilling her popcorn. Her grip was so strong that he didn't even try to break free of it. In any case, the theater was warm yet she was incredibly cold. And Renet couldn't use the Time Scepter if she caught a cold. Not successfully. He didn't want to wind up in the Middle Ages.
Next time, he would make SURE she was ready.
Renet asked for his number and they exchanged them. This would speed up the process of gaining her trust.
TMNTNMT
The next time, he had the feeling that she had slipped something into his drink. For you see, her attempts at jokes actually made him smile and he found her somewhat endearing. She was a pleasant change from the serious businessmen he spent everyday with, so he didn't accuse her of anything.
He didn't want to go travel in time if he wasn't able to think straight, so he decided to wait until it wore off.
And it didn't wear off until she left, so he had to wait until the next time.
TMNTNMT
These small incidents that prevented him from unleashing his plan kept occurring. He wondered whether she suspected him and was doing all this on purpose. He wouldn't even try to mention it the next few times.
TMNTNMT
Then he simply forgot to.
TMNTNMT
"Mister Bishop?"
Bishop raised his eyes. He had been discussing with Stockman about a way they could get more funding from the government, and these times in particular were strictly private and not to be interrupted.
The secretary stood in the doorway of their office, holding a phone's receiver towards him. "For... for you, sir."
Bishop got to his feet swiftly. He snatched it out of her hands and shooed her away, scowling. "This better be good."
Stockman watched.
Bishop's face relaxed as the other person began to speak. "Oh, it's you. I'm fine. Stockman and I are in an important meeting."
Stockman remained where he was, his single eye pressed against the side of the jar his brain was contained in. No one ever called Bishop and asked how he was halfway through a scheduled conference.
And Bishop, most unusually, hadn't told him to stop earwigging. It was like he had forgotten he was there.
"No, I haven't forgotten. I'll be there, rest assured. I wouldn't miss it for anything."
Stockman remembered that earlier, Bishop had claimed to be going out on business later. He had done that a lot recently. Whoever he was speaking to must have been a rich person planning to donate a large amount of money.
"I don't mind. Anything that pleases you is always fine with me."
What happened next was the most terrifying thing that Stockman had ever witnessed. He would lie awake at night for weeks, replaying the scene in his head in an unsuccessful attempt to work out what could have caused such an... an... an unbelievable phenomenon.
Bishop laughed. "Thank you."
Paint fumes. The office had recently been painted blue. It was unusually cheerful, but Bishop had said that it would up work production. It must have gotten to the poor man's head.
Not that Stockman was very sympathetic. Not after last month's abomination of a paycheck.
"Again? Pay him no heed. He is just ignorant of your magnificence."
Perhaps he had slipped on the newly washed floor and hit his head? Bishop never complimented someone like that. Ever.
"I will talk to you later. Goodbye." He paused. "I love you too."
There was a crash. Bishop spun around.
Stockman's jar was in pieces, scattered across the ground. And Stockman himself was out cold.
TMNTNMT
"John!" Renet ran up to Bishop. She opened her arms, like she was about to hug him, but lowered them at the last moment. He nodded.
They were outside his house. He didn't spend much time there, often working overtime and staying overnight at his base. Now, though, it was Christmas and he had decided to go home for the holidays. Before, he had never had anyone to spend it with. No reason to celebrate. But Renet had begged and begged, so he had given in to her.
Tonight was the night he made her use the Time Scepter.
"How are you?" asked Renet.
"Good."
She nodded, reaching into the pocket of her fluffy pink coat. The toecap of one of her purple boots rubbed against the ground as she pulled something out. Bishop watched her, his coat trembling in the frosty night breeze, his hair dusted with dandruff-like snow.
"I got you a present," she piped up, pressing the thing into his hands. It was a small blue box. Her eyes, bursting with excitement, acknowledged his bewildered gaze with a wink.
He unwrapped it carefully and held up the small plant that had been inside of it. He knew what it was, but why- "Mistletoe?"
The word had barely escaped when his mouth made contact with her lips. He stood rigidly, trying to take it all in, before giving up and kissing her back. Closing his eyes, he took a step forward and embraced her, nearly snapping her spine in half as he pushed her head back with his. Groaning, Renet ran her fingers through his hair, her body touching his.
They broke apart. Renet looked satisfied.
"Merry Christmas."
TMNTNMT
The four turtles watched Renet walk up the aisle, her legs bent so she could walk arm in arm with Lord Simultaneous. She was wearing flat white shoes, so she couldn't trip over as easily, which matched her poofy dress.
"Is anyone else confused?" asked Michelangelo. The other three raised their hands at the same time.
"I feel like we've missed something," Donatello remarked. "Something really important."
Raphael leaned forward, glaring at the back of Bishop's head. "Dis is messed up."
"Sh," hissed Leonardo, though he thought the same.
After the couple exchanged vows, and the turtles resisted the urge to explain why they shouldn't get married, Bishop was told to kiss the bride.
Raphael mimed throwing up, Michelangelo wolf-whistled, Donatello averted his gaze and Leonardo coughed into the back if his hand as their friend and enemy did so.
"For many happy years," Bishop murmured.
Renet's eyes sparkled. "Many, many happy years."
TMNTNMT
Lying in bed, Renet patted her mouth and yawned. "Do you think I'll have to give the Time Scepter back?"
Bishop frowned. "What's that again?"