Disclaimer: Much as I would love too, I own nothing! :(

Huge, huge, huge thank you to Silver Bee, for not only being an amazing beta on this for me, but also putting up with me over the last couple of months talking about it. I owe you big time, my friend, big time. I cannot say thank you enough!

Hope you guys like this, and please don't forget to review!

TBTBTB

Scott lay back with a sigh, relief coursing through him as his head sank gratefully into the soft pillows. Glancing over at the alarm clock balanced precariously on the edge of his bedside table, the teenager groaned. 1:00 am. His dad was going to kill him when he found out what time his oldest son had got to bed. If he found out, that was. Jeff Tracy never was around much anymore, which was why Scott hadn't managed to get to bed until now. He had spent the whole afternoon running around after his four younger brothers again. One of them always needed to be somewhere, and it often meant that all of them had to go because there was no one left at home to look after the younger ones. Once they were all finally in bed, then the homework had begun, the English essay wasn't going to complete itself. His teachers had already begun to ask questions.

"Is everything alright at home?"

"Are you getting enough sleep, Scott?"

"No," and "No," was what Scott thought to himself whenever he was asked, but in typical Tracy style, he had bottled it up. Even his dad didn't know he was the one looking after the others. He had organised a babysitter to be there to pick the younger ones up from school and spend each afternoon with the brothers, allowing Scott the time to do as he pleased, but she had disappeared after the first day and not turned up again since. That was three weeks ago.

Three weeks where Scott had been left to run the show on his own. Three weeks of trying to manage four brothers, two of which were not old enough to do anything by themselves, the other two managing to have clubs and activities dotted all over town nearly every night of the week. Three weeks of staying up way past midnight, trying to get as much homework done as possible so no one would realise that something was wrong. Scott wasn't sure how much more of it he could physically take; his body was screaming out for a decent night's sleep. Even the weekends didn't help any more, as Jeff was often away at a conference early Saturday morning, trusting the illusive babysitter to take care of his children. Naturally, that meant Scott would be up around 6 am, sorting Alan out. The toddler was such an early riser, often waking up Gordon as well and leaving his oldest brother desperate for a lay in he would not get.

His body was yelling at him to get some sleep, but as was often the case nowadays, Scott found that his mind was too occupied for him to be able to drift off. Themes from the play he was studying at school were whizzing around his head, causing it to pound uncomfortably, almost as if they were bouncing off his skull. Staring at the ceiling in something close to despair, the teenager felt the tears begin to prick the corners of his eyes.

"I need you, Mom," he whispered into the night, wishing with every fibre of his being that the last year had not taken place. This wouldn't be happening if Lucille was still alive. Jeff wouldn't have almost forgotten the existence of his family and Scott wouldn't be trying to play mother and father to four younger boys, in all of whom the grief was still too raw to accept their brother as the new parent of the family. Silently, the tears began to flow freely down the boy's cheeks, the emotions he had tried so hard to bottle up during the day for the sake of the others being let loose. Biting down on his pillow so that he would not wake any of the others up, Scott Tracy cried himself to sleep for the third night in a row, knowing that no one would even notice.

Beep, beep, beep.

A hand emerged from deep within the covers, grasping blindly for the clock, hoping to stop the damn noise. Fumbling around the table for the device, Scott groaned as he managed to hit it, missing the button completely and sending it crashing to the floor.

Beep, beep, beep.

Grinding his teeth together in frustration, the sixteen year old regretfully poked his head out of the covers and grabbed the annoying clock, silencing it swiftly and strongly resisting the urge to chuck it at the wall. He would be lucky if the crash hadn't already awoken at least one of the others, sending it flying would definitely be spelling trouble. Falling out of bed, Scott grasped the curtains and wrenched them apart, wincing as the sun light fell on his tired face. `At least the sun makes the journey to school more pleasant,' he thought to himself, grabbing the nearest clothes from the back of his chair.

Tiptoeing down the corridor, Scott glanced out of the window as he passed; noting that the family car was already gone, meaning Jeff must have left even earlier than usual today. Nearly tripping over the end of his jeans as he made his way into the bathroom, Scott realised with dread that this was at least the second time he had worn this pair this week, meaning he desperately needed to put some washing on when he got home later. Climbing out of his pyjamas, Scott quickly stepped into the shower, keeping the temperature low in the hope it would somehow wake him up. Whether or not it woke him up remained to be seen, but the cool water cascading over him was certainly a blessing, he must have been sleeping in a really strange position last night, for his neck was really stiff.

Eventually though, the teenager regretfully shut the water off, grabbing the nearest towel as he stepped out of the shower. Yep, definitely needed to do some washing tonight, the towels were strewn over the floor. Scott supposed that it was only because he had his own bathroom that Jeff had not noticed things were not as they should be. If he had noticed, he certainly had not done anything about it.

By the time Scott was dressed, had breakfast and was just putting the finishing touches to both the breakfasts and lunches that would keep the rest of the family going, evidence the others were waking up began. A thud was swiftly followed by running feet, the noise getting louder and louder as Gordon tore into the kitchen at top speed, nearly flattening his brother in the process. Sitting the seven year old down and telling him he had to eat everything, Scott left the kitchen, passing John on the stairs. The blond barely noticed his brother, his eyes consisting of the same far away look that had been residing there since the death of their mother. Watching him enter the kitchen, Scott sighed. Something needed to be done about John, it was clear that he was struggling to cope with the grief. Only being a typical Tracy, the normally quiet boy had withdrawn even further, not even talking to Scott about it.

Entering Gordon and Alan's joint room, Scott couldn't help but smile fondly down at the two year old who was waiting for him. Picking Alan up, Scott bounced the toddler on his hip as he carried him through to Virgil's room. Placing him on the floor by the bed, the teenager then leant over, shaking his younger brother. Dodging the flaying arm with ease, Scott took Alan back through to his own room to dress the youngster, knowing that Virgil was at least awake now. He had almost given up trying to make the brown haired boy eat breakfast, it was far too much of a struggle with the others to get ready as well.

By the time that Alan was dressed and sitting in his chair, playing with rather than eating his breakfast, time was beginning to run short and Scott found his temper was heading that way as well. John had not uttered a word throughout the whole meal, continuing his work on the Math homework that was a lot harder than anyone his level should be doing, but then again, the boy was a genius. Gordon had discovered that Alan retaliated if food was flicked at him, meaning the two of them were in need of a change again, and Virgil had not yet been seen.

"John, will you please put that book down and give me a hand with the terrible two?" Scott snapped, much more harshly than he had intended. His younger brother merely looked at him, his face giving nothing away as he silently stood and took Alan upstairs.

With his heart sinking, Scott took Gordon firmly by the hand and took the youngster upstairs. He would have to talk to John later, apologise for the way that he had spoken to him. This was the big problem with having to look after them all whilst working on very little sleep, it made his naturally short temper even shorter than ever, John often being the one on the receiving end. It was never anything he did that made Scott snap at him, it was the opposite. It was the fact that he didn't do anything that caused Scott to be irritable, he was struggling by himself.

With Alan and Gordon changed, the bags packed and waiting by the door, four out of the five Tracys were ready to go.

"Virgil! Will you please get your butt down here NOW!" Hoping that he would have escaped with his language, Scott held his breath. Luckily, the younger two were busying playing by their feet and John, as normal, didn't react at all. The only good thing was that Virgil eventually appeared at the top of the stairs, looking thoroughly put out at being yelled at. Rolling his eyes, Scott picked Alan up, slung his bag over his shoulder and took Gordon's hand in his free one.

"Can you lock the door, John?" he asked his brother, anxious to keep his voice neutral this time so he didn't cause any further offence. Virgil was already walking ahead, no doubt sulking, and with his hands full of the younger ones, Scott was hopeful that John had his key. Luckily, he did, and within a matter of seconds, all five of them were heading down the road to catch the bus. Virgil hated having to leave earlier, but Scott still had to get Alan to kindergarten and Gordon to the primary school around the corner as well as being on time to school himself, meaning they had no choice.

The silence on the bus was a stony one. Even Alan was quiet as he sat beside Scott, no doubt sensing the mood of his brothers. John and Virgil jumped off outside the school, no doubt going to find something to do to kill the remaining hour before the bell rang whilst Scott carried on in the bus. It was annoying that he had to double back in order to get back to school himself, but nothing could be done about it.

Gordon was dropped off in a matter of seconds. Scott was thankful the redhead liked school now, it would have been almost impossible to get him to go in on his own if he had kept the attitude that had emerged when he first started school. No doubt the memory of being dropped off by his mother was still in his mind, even though it had been nearly a year already. The time had gone so quickly, most likely because the oldest had been forced to adapt so quickly to his new role that he had never had the time to sit and think about it. As if sensing his older brother's mood, Alan suddenly snuggled into Scott's side, hugging his brother close.

Smiling down at the child, Scott looped his arm over the boy's shoulders, pulling him closer. Alan had grown so much in a year. Scott wasn't sure how much of their mother he could remember, even after only a year, but the child was the easiest out of all of them to look after, he seemed to almost worship Scott. If it had been any other situation, the oldest brother would have felt extremely uncomfortable for the amount of attention he received, but in this case, he was only thankful he knew that Alan would do precisely as he was told. The same could not have been said about his older brothers.

At last, the final brother was ready to be dropped off as the bus pulled to a stop directly outside the kindergarten. Gathering his brother and his bag into his arms, Scott climbed off the bus and into the school. Milling around the entrance were numerous mothers, all chatting about idle matters that meant nothing to the teenager. Some gave him sympathetic smiles as he carried Alan past; they had begun to recognise him over the last few weeks. Ignoring them, Scott held his head high and entered the building.

Placing Alan on the floor, Scott passed his brother his small bag, ruffling the child's hair as he ran off to play with his friends, the morning stresses no longer important to the toddler. Watching him with a slightly sad smile, Scott didn't notice the kindergarten teacher come up behind him. She was also watching Alan, but it was clear that her mind was not on the young Tracy, but on his older brother.

"He's doing well, isn't he? I mean, all things considering, he has progressed well."

"I guess," Scott responded, not sure what she wanted him to say. Miss Starle was a kind hearted young woman, someone who had been extremely understanding over the last month, often staying behind late whilst Scott rushed from school to pick his brother up.

"How about you, Scott? How are you managing? I've noticed you seem to be more and more responsible for all of your brothers lately. Are you coping?"

For a moment, Scott was tempted to tell the woman everything, to break down here and now and tell someone everything that was happening. How his father was never around, how he was barely getting any sleep whilst trying to deal with the rest of the family whilst covering the whole thing up. Somehow, this place seemed the place to do it, surrounded by the caring mothers who were here dropping their own children off. A glance at Alan, however, meant that Scott simply sent all of his emotions straight back into his heart, ready to be bottled up again. If he admitted it, things would change, and not necessarily for the best. Scott was still trying to cope with the last disruption to their lives, he wasn't sure if he could cope with another.

"Fine, Miss. Everything is fine, they have all settled into the new routine really well, all things considered."

Watching the teenager guardedly, the teacher sighed. She had seen straight through the boy, it was clear that he had never answered how he was, but how his brothers were. It was something she noticed a lot about Scott Tracy, the others always came first, no matter what. Although she knew it was not her place, the teacher couldn't help but wonder why Mr. Tracy was not doing something about the clearly bad state his oldest son was in. Before she could question the youth any further, Scott waved to his youngest brother and headed for the door.

"I'd better hurry; I still have to get to school." Turning around, Scott didn't see Alan's face fall as his hero disappeared out of the door. Miss Starle sighed as she watched the toddler, knowing he would remain quiet and passive all day now until Scott returned. It was always the boy coming to pick his brother up, often with the others in tow, normally bickering the way brothers do. It wasn't right; an adult was needed in that family, although the teacher did not know quite how illusive Mr. Tracy was.

Walking out of the kindergarten, Scott sighed to himself as the bus pulled into the lay by. A light drizzle had begun to fall, causing the teenager to shudder in the cold as the rain made its way down his neck and trickled down to his back. Great, he couldn't help but think bitterly, pulling his collar up closer around his neck. Just what I need.

Hurrying onto the bus, Scott flashed his pass at the driver and slumped into the nearest seat, already feeling exhausted. It was going to be one of those days, the teen could just feel it. Gazing despondently out of the window, Scott barely noticed the shades of grey flickering past as he headed back to school, only being pulled back to reality when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"We're at the school now, son." A grey haired middle aged man was standing over Scott, a gentle smile on his face. Smiling gratefully, the teen hoisted his bag up and hurried through the school gates just as the bell rang. The man and the bus driver exchanged worried glances. Like Miss Starle, they too had begun to recognise Scott, watching him control his brothers each morning. In recognising the youth, the two men had also begun to worry about him as he seemed to be paler and paler each day, the bags under his eyes growing. Something needed to be done about that boy.