"With you my heart will always stay. With you my thoughts will be every day. You remain to be the one that I regret letting get away. Why didn't I say what I needed to say? You are the one I will always use my wishes on. You are the one I will always wish was never gone. I'll constantly wonder what went wrong. I'll forever think of what I could've did that was never done."

~ Unknown

The guilt I feel can't compare to the pain I live without him. But the guilt is eating me alive, and the pain is starting to be bearable. How can I even imagine a world without him that does not involved pain and heart break. Could I really even consider it? Would I allow myself to live, knowing that his smile, laugh and self is not on this planet with me? How much convincing will I have to do to tell myself that I will be okay, until we meet again? Worst of all, how can I feel that it's right to be with another, that is not my Ghost King?

Days quickly turned into weeks, while weeks into months. And every single night I needed Percy. I needed the comfort of his arms, the safeness that his touch held. The soothing tone his voice always had. I needed to sleep in his arms to feel remotely safe. It was almost as if he was barrier of the bad dreams, the nightmares that haunted me in my sleep. I never thought that I would see the day when I, Thalia Grace, daughter of Zeus, ex- Lieutenant of Artemis admitted I needed Percy Jackson.

I sighed, while letting the hot water from my shower run down my face. What was happening to me? I took three inhales of steam, and rinsed the suds off of me, then shut of the nice feeling water. Stepping out the shower, I picked up a black towel. But not before I saw my reflection in the mirror. My ribs were now visible. Any muscle I had, no longer was there. The old Thalia was slipping away right under my nose. Along with that old Thalia, Nico too, was slipping away.

Holding back a cry, I quickly dried myself off. I slipped on some under clothes, a black muscle shirt and Percy's black sweat pants. I combed out my hair, letting it stay down. I brushed my teeth, and then exited the bathroom, heading for bed.

I wasn't surprised to see Percy sprawled across my bed, listing to his ipod. It had become a habit, or a sort of routine. He just slept in my room with me. Probably so he wouldn't have to walk up, come all the way from downstairs, and wake me up from the horrors. Pulling back the covers, I crawled in my king size bed, not thinking that I disturbed Percy. But of course, the earphones came out, and he opened his arms. I only hesitated for a moment before crawling into his arms.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Percy asked. My guess was that he was asking about my puffy red eyes.

"Nope." Was my only answer.

"Night Thals." Were the only two words he mumbled, clearly upset that I wouldn't be more modest with him, before reaching over and turning off the lights.

"Night Perce." Guilt was leaking from my voice.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

I found myself sitting in the passenger seat of Nico's mustang. It smelled of Nico's memorable cologne and new car. I looked over to my left, not at all surprised to find Nico sitting in the driver's seat. He is wearing his black skinny jeans and favorite hoodie. His black, shaggy hair covers half his pale face. I know this dream to well. But temptation temps me to reach over and touch my love's hand. I wait for my hand to go through his, for him to start fading. But to my astonishment, his hand is solid.

"Nico?" He turns his head, and flashed his amazing 250 watt smile at me.

"Hey Thals! It looks like you could eat a pork chop… or two." And just like that, this really is my Nico, my Nico who knew how to make me feel better when I'm down. Nico, who knew how to make a joke out of a serious situation, my Nico who I would die a million times over, just to be with him.

"Yeah, you can do that to a person, especially if that person is a certain daughter of Zeus." Nico shakes his head in disappointment. His smile slowly fading into a frown, and while his face screamed shame.

"I'm so sorry Thalia. I should have fought harder; I should have not allowed you to enter my apartment that day. I should have never allowed us to fall in love." He hung his head low, and my heart began to hurt. Losing Nico to death was one thing, but never loving Nico would have just been horrible.

"Don't you dare say that d' Angelo." my voice trembled but still came across threatening. Nico nods his head for the first time trying to avoid a fight.

"The point is you have to move on Thals. I'm okay with it. I need you to move on. You can't live your life like this, I won't allow it." I start to object, about to claim how I'm not a piece of property. But Nico bending down over me, brushing his lips against mine, tasting the familiar death flavor that his lips always held make me bite my tongue. I try to hold on to this moment for eternity, but all too soon he breaks the kiss and looks into my eyes with his black eyes. Those damn black eyes that I spent so many nights looking into. Thos black eyes that belonged to the love of my life. Those black eyes that made me fall in love, and that cut forever into a moment.

"Please, if you won't do it for yourself, do it for me? Please move on, keeping me as a memory not what you wish could be? Please Thals, for me?" I start shaking my head, not about to give into his request, but with one quick kiss to my forehead, he starts to fade. And the tears start coming down, once more.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

You know how you get that feeling, like life is so horrible, no matter what, it can't possibly get worst? Well that's about where I was, that was until sitting here at this stupid breakfast table with Annabeth, listing to the news she was delivering. So I guess life can get worst.

"So let me get this straight. You and Percy made up and now he's moving back in with you?" I asked, shocked and horrified. This can't be happening. Once when I finally start filling the whole Nico left, the paste that was helping fill it was leaving too? Automatically my thoughts jumped to all those long, painful nights that I didn't have to bare alone. Or all those midnight awakenings Percy was kind enough to do. And how in his safe arms, I always slept just so I could an hour or to of sleep. Worst of all, the fact that I was actually falling for that stupid son of the sea, actually granting Nico's last wish of moving on, getting better.

"Oh. That's nice." I managed to choke those words out. Not at all meaning them, I mean how could I? How could I actually be happy for them when the only person here on earth that could make me laugh or feel safe was leaving? Or the fact that I was ignorant enough to believe that it was okay to start falling for my best friend's ex- boyfriend?

"And I'm not mad at you, Thalia." Annabeth continued. I just looked up at her, with a blank expression.

"Why would you be mad at me?" I asked, not really caring about the answer, more or less wondering how life would be after Percy left.

"Well, you know for allowing Percy to stay with you. He didn't even have to tell me nothing happened, because I knew you wouldn't allow it." I don't know if it was the way she said it, or maybe because something did most certainly happen, even if it was nothing physical. But I convinced myself; I don't fucking need Percy damn Jackson. I didn't need his comfort, support or presence. I could survive without him. I did once and I could do so again. I flashed a smile at Annabeth.

"Oh."

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

I wasn't surprised to see Percy packing his things when I got home that evening. And I tried so hard not to care. I put my things down and walked downstairs to his room. The door was wide open, so I knocked three times on the wall before going in. He looked up from folding his clothes at me, and smiled.

"Hey Thals." I took a deep breathe.

"Hi Perce…" An awkward silence was filled with a zipper zipping. Percy pulled the last suitcase off the bed and put it with his other three.

"So I take it you talked to Annabeth?" Percy asked talking a seat on the bed, and patting the spot next to him, signaling for me to seat down at well. I silently sighed and walked over to the bed seating down by him.

"Yup, I did. I'm happy that you guys managed to work it out." Was the biggest lie that I ever said. Percy smiled weakly at me. The room was filled with silence.

"Me too." Percy said a few seconds off, and not that convincing. I nodded my head, with nothing more to say.

"Listen Thalia…" I looked up into his sea green eyes, and before I realized what was happening, Percy was leaning down and crashed his lips into mine. It felts so bittersweet. I knew I shouldn't be making out with my best friend's boyfriend, but I couldn't pull myself away from the kiss. Even when I tried to think of Nico, the only thing I could thin of was him saying to move on. The only, only thing I was thinking of was how soft Percy lips were. How amazing this kiss was, and how much I needed him. After a few more moments we broke apart, gasping for air.

"Umm I think I should get going." Percy said standing up. I nodded my head in agreement. He went over and grabbed two of his suit cases. I stood up and grabbed the other one and followed behind Percy. We walked out to his mustang. After he loaded up his car he turned around to face me.

"I'm just a phone call away." Were the only words before he scoped me up in his arms, hugging me 'til I couldn't breathe.

"Thanks Perce."

A/N:

I want to address a review I received proclaiming how they found this story offensive because of their own experience with this sort of thing. I want to apologize if I offended anyone with this story. I didn't mean it to come across that way, but before I critique me, realize this story wasn't a joking matter like how you accused it of being. And what would make you think that I haven't gone through something similar as well. Note the review was anonymous so I couldn't reply.

Any who, so I guess that's that? Sorry it took me a moment to update, I've been busy. So did you like it? Hate it? Can't live without it? Let me know in a review. Also, how many of us out there would like a sequel? I think I might want to write one… I guess it will depend on how many people request one (hint, hint) Review?

~ Gummy