The last thing I expected when I opened the door to my house was to see a blur run out it and cower behind me, a Russia sized one quickly following after.

"Save me, aru!" Everything paused for a minute until Yong Soo seemed to realize who was using me as a human shield. His eyes lit up, and not in a particularly good way, more like the way they do when he's about to molest someone (usually me).

"Aniki!" I heard a small 'eep!' come from behind me and I looked behind me at the him, then looked at Yong Soo, then turned my gaze to Ivan, then looked back at the person behind me before shaking my head sadly.

The world hated me.

Why the hell did I get two, TWO, new units in one day?

Granted one of them was China and the other was Canada, so maybe the world didn't hate me that much.

I looked back up just in time to see Yong Soo spring into action. I ducked, pulling China down with me, isn't his name Yao? Or was it Mao… it was Yao, Mao was the guy from Code Geass. I think.

Let's just go with Yao.

Anyways.

Yong Soo flew over our heads, and onto an unlucky Matthew Williams, who just so happened to be rounding the corner.

"Maple!" He screamed, disappearing under a hyperactive Korean. I stared in horror as I fought the urge to laugh. Yao looked a bit shell-shocked. I got the feeling neither he, nor Matthew, were having a particularly good first day.

Grinning I stood up, pulling Yao to his feet and pushing him through the door, past Ivan.

"Kolkolkolkolkolkol…" Nearly running into the house, I turned around and closed the door before looking out the peephole to see him still staring in the direction of Yong Soo and Matthew, as muffled curses could still be heard through the door from the, currently being molested, Canadian.

Yep. Today probably wasn't their favorite day.

"So," I began, as Yao turned to me, "How the hell did you get here exactly?"

"I don't know! All I know is that I woke up in the dark and then the door opened days later and he was staring at me," He wailed, burying his face in his hands. I awkward patted the poor unit on the back and looked around for someone to explain everything to me.

"Some guy brought him to the door, said his name was Bernie and to say hi to you," Vash explained from the couch, where he sat, polishing his gun, "There was something weird on the side. It looked like a-"

"Flying mint bunny?" I asked, knowingly. He nodded as Arthur whipped around the side of the doorframe of the kitchen.

" Flying mint bunny! Where?" He demanded, I gave him a weird look before deciding it was probably best not to answer him.

"And there was one on his shirt?" I asked, making sure, Vash nodded and a horrified gasp was heard. I turned towards it to see Arthur slack jawed and staring blankly at us.

"There's a… flying mint bunny… On his… shirt?" His voice sounded like he was being strangled while gargling tacs.

"It's not a live flying mint bunny," I reassured him… or, attempted to at least, by how his face twisted up horribly, I got the feeling that I was doing it wrong. "It wasn't a dead one either." His disturbed face quickly morphed into one of horror.

"Please tell me that it wasn't a zombie," He begged. I stared at him in a "are you high on acid again, Arthur?" way. "Don't give me that look. I'm perfectly sane."

"That's what everyone tells themselves in this house," I said to him, with a sad look. He glared at me before stomping out of the room like a prepubescent girl. I heard Vash snicker as he left the room too. I turned toward Yao, as he stared at the place where Arthur had run off to with a smile on his face.

Oh yeah, they weren't on the best terms with each other, were they?

…

Oh well.

This would be interesting I thought as I walked into the kitchen at the same time as a ruffled looking Matthew ran in. I stopped and watched in awe as he slammed the door and slumped against it, panting and apparently exhausted as he closed his eyes.

"...Maple..." I continued over to the microwave before turning to Yao.

"Would you like to cook dinner?" I asked as Feli came in. He stopped, tilted his head, and let out a long "veeee". I could feel my eye begin to twitch.

"And no pasta, please."

"No!" Feli shouted, running over to me. "Pasta!"

"We've had pasta for two weeks straight-"

"But pasta is delicious and good and kind-"

"And I think everyone's going to throw you out a window if-"

"But- but it's pasta, and-"

"They have to eat it one more time."

There was a pause.

"What about-"

"No pizza either."

"Nooooo!" He wailed, crumpling into a ball. I stared on imapassively as he curled up, crying for a minute, before he went quiet and peeked out at me. Then he promptly started wailing. Again.

"Feli-"

"Veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

"Feli please-"

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

"Feli sto-"

"Pastaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

"Feliciano I swear to God if you don't -"

"Pizzaaaaaaaaaaa!"

"Stop right now I'll throw all the pasta out."

"Nooooooooooot the pastaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

"Oh my fucking God! Feliciano, stop!" I shrieked, cradling my pounding head in my hands. He stopped and looked at me with a tear stained face and puppy dog eyes. ?I almost fell for it.

Almost, but not quite. A person can only take so much spaghetti until they snap.

It was the noodle that broke the camel's back I suppose.

…

I wonder if a camel ever broke it's back from carrying too much pasta?

That wasn't the issue though.

"No noodles, aru?" Yao asked, tilting his head.

"Preferably."

"Well that narrows things down, aru."

"Sorry," I apologized, his eyes shined in determination.

"Don't apologize, I see it as a challenge." He looked thoughtful for a minute. "Do you have Kai Lan, aru?" I paused thinking back to all the food I'd had to specially order in preparation for... who ever the hell was going to arrive next. Which included Salmiakki. And various other foods.

"Erm... I think. It looks lettuce-celery... stuff right?" He gave me a weird look. "It's green?"

"I'll go look, aru." I sighed and leaned against the counter, and looked up to see Matthew staring off into the distance.

"You have some."

"EEEEEK!" I shot up like that fat kid going up the pipe in Charlie and the Chocolate factory.

Yao gave me a strange look before getting the rest of the ingredients for... whatever he was making.

"Erm... so whatcha making?"

"Stir fried pork with kai lan." Mmm, stir-fry. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had stir-fry, all I could remember was pasta. And more pasta.

And there was pizza once too.

And then the pasta was brought to an end because Arthur attempted to use the last of it to cook something, and if Feliciano had found out what happenedto his beloved pasta he'd have a heart attack.

I don't think I have to point out that Gilbert had been the one to put him up to it.

…

Oops. Too late.

I sat down in a chair and watched as Yao wandered around the kitchen.

"It's not pasta?" Vash asked, walking in. I glared at him, because more then likely he was in on the pasta-ruining plot, and thus the reason I would have to get up really early to go get some in the morning.

I sat there and watched as everyone started in, Gilbert, covered in dirt for some reason, and Yong Soo, who gave Yao a predatory look. Feliciano ran in, cheerful once again, asking what kind of pasta we should get. Which I took to mean he had found out about the fact we were completely out. Yao said that he would come with us so that he could get things too.

Then I noticed two people were missing.

"Where's Arthur and Ivan?" Everyone shrugged simultaneously.

"I'll go look with you," Matthew volunteered.

"Thank you, Matthew. That's kind of you." I said, standing up.

"Hurry up, aru. I'm almost done cooking." I nodded as I stood up, and left the room.

"We should probably check inside, first," Matthew suggested. I nodded, and wee went up the stairs.

"What's that... noise?" We gave each other a quick look before following the sound over to a door.

"Oh-no!" Matthew said, I gave him a weird look as he opened the door.

…

…

…

I quickly slammed the door shut and ran down the stairs, my hands slapped over my eyes as I stumbled into the living room. I could hear Matthew following me.

"My virgin eyes!"I shrieked. Running into a wall and promptly fell on my ass. I uncovered my eyes just in time to see a small black cat fly out at me. "Eeeeek!" I rolled out of the way as she hit the ground running.

"Mrow."

"Hello psycho," I said, and started to bang my head against a wall. All I wanted to do was go back eleven chapters and find that nice piece of wood that had almost killed me and gently proceed to impale my brain with it. Anything to get those images of... that.

From somewhere to the right of me I heard a whimper.

"That... was my room."

…

Poor Matthew.

Author's note: I'm alive! Sorry this took so long (a month) to get out. I'll try to make it up to you all! Read: Get my chapters out on time.

In other news... I need a new beta I think. I still haven't heard from my old one... ;_;

In happy news, what's this? http :/ ur-a-baka95 .deviantart. com/gallery/#/d31f9hv

If you can't see it, then I'll just tell you. It's a link. It'll be up on my profile. Why? Pshhhhh, it's FANART! No one knows how happy I am about this. I've never, NEVER gotten fanart. For anything. I also have over 200 reviews. I'd write a fic for one of you but... I still need to finish that one that I need to finish... then I can.

(My mom annoys me...)

I kind of want an RP buddy... but I haven't RP'ed since the Artemis Fowl fandom. So... yeah...

I feel like crap...

THANK YOU ALL FOR REVIEWING!

I need crack pairing ideas. And regular pairing ideas, for this one. The crack ones are for something completely different. That you may or may not ever find out about.

Thriller is playing right now. I just had to share that.

TVTropes = kick ass.

This is going nowhere.

My mom made really watery chili for dinner and I was all like, DX

The food Yao made took me a little while to find. But it's real.

Keep reading!